Women -- are there any advantages to bi men?

[fred fencesitter]

The media usually tells straight women all about the disadvantages of dating bi men -- that they'll cheat with men, bring home diseases, eventually turn gay. I was wondering if any of the women here (of whatever sexual identity) could explain some things that they enjoy about bi men, if bi men bring something "special" to a relationship with a woman.

[DuckiesDarling]

Well I'm straight and I am in love with a male that happens to be bisexual. I don't know if he would have the ability to be as caring and considerate as he is at times if not for his bisexual nature. He's not soft by any means and is in more than one way my rock, my anchor. But he has the ability to understand the pain I feel as things happen in a way that no other guy I've ever dated can.

[vittoria]

well if the bi guy has a bf, and is into threesomes, then i suppose having an extra in the bedroom isnt a big deal, and brings and extra perk to the relationship. That's about it. Other than that, bi men are just men that need love, affection, and to feel appreciated...just like anyone else.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Thats what I was going to say, Vitt..lol Hell yes there are advantages! Bi men can sit in the mall with you and scope out men And women with you and have a great deal of fun doing it. They are some of the worlds best co-shoppers(outside of going shopping with a Gay man..omg) and there is always that 3some/4some delight as well. Also, bi men seem a little more in tune to their sensitive sides, and can relate to a people's feelings and desires more. Its just one sweet package! lol
Bi loving Cat

[mikey3000]

And makes finding that third person for the DP she's always wanted that much easier :bigrin:.

[balmone]

They are more sensitive, atleast the one I'm dating is, that can be both a good thing and a bad thing though. XD sometimes I tell him he's more emotional than a woman. Dating a bi guy can add to a relationship though it presents unique experiences in and out of the bedroom, and they are more likely to understand that you want a girlfriend too if you are also bi.

[onewhocares]

Well, I am a straight woman who married a man whom I knew had been with men since before we were married. Once married, I knew something was missing but chocked it up to the fact that I was not a good enough lover. Well, given that I was a Type A personality, I made a promise that I was going to do ALL I could to make myself the best darn lover I could be to any man. Well as it turns out that 18 years...yes can you believe it, the time came when the light bulb went off in our marriage..that it was not me, but the fact that he needed a man in his life which was the missing part in "our" life. Turns out that once you invite another man into a relationship BOTH partners learn that there is a piece missing.

I am a very lucky woman to be sure. I have had the pleasure to have met so so many wonderful bisexual men, from this site and beyond, who have come into MY life and shown me how wonderful a bisexual man can be in your life. I admit that I am a woman who adores the site of two men...kissing, embracing, caressing and making love with and for her. I have been lucky to have bisexual men to share with my husband and alone. In MY experience I have found them to be more caring, more open to options, more adventurous and more attune to what I, the woman want in a relationship. Each man is unique and I would have it no other way.

I have noticed that bi men are smart, humorous, subtle, intense, able to stand their own ground, enjoyably short (ok to me...I am six feet tall- on dear darling who is now Bree who exudes compassion,strength and determination)to manly men who wrap this tall blond into their arms and make me feel SO much like the only woman in their lives.

OK...those are my thoughts tonight...catch me tomorrow and they may change.

Belle

[RockGardener]

I took a chance and went out with a bi guy. He is a wonderful lover and we had a good time walking in the woods, too! He is the one that told me to check out this site. A little while later, I met a guy who unbeknownst to me is bi. We were together for about two years. I had no problems with his bisexuality, but he is deeply in the closet, and that affected our relationship. I enjoy being with bi men, there is something about them that is yummy!

[jackbolin]

Well I'm straight and I am in love with a male that happens to be bisexual. I don't know if he would have the ability to be as caring and considerate as he is at times if not for his bisexual nature. He's not soft by any means and is in more than one way my rock, my anchor. But he has the ability to understand the pain I feel as things happen in a way that no other guy I've ever dated can.

I'm a bi married male but I'm very much in the closet. My wife is always saying things like "you take such good care of me" and "you're such a good listener", etc etc....I want to tell her so badly "it's because I'm Bi!" I'm just so not your typical male whose mostly into his own needs and desires. I want to fulfill others' needs first. When I got married I was very much in denial about my bisexuality and hence never came out to my wife. Now 5 years in, I find myself having regrets that I wasn't upfront about myself. She would freak out on me big time if I told her now. But the very qualities she admires in me are due to the fact that I'm a bi man very much in touch with his feminine side.

[BiPhone]

I'm a bi married male but I'm very much in the closet. My wife is always saying things like "you take such good care of me" and "you're such a good listener", etc etc....I want to tell her so badly "it's because I'm Bi!" I'm just so not your typical male whose mostly into his own needs and desires. I want to fulfill others' needs first. When I got married I was very much in denial about my bisexuality and hence never came out to my wife. Now 5 years in, I find myself having regrets that I wasn't upfront about myself. She would freak out on me big time if I told her now. But the very qualities she admires in me are due to the fact that I'm a bi man very much in touch with his feminine side.

You say that When you got married you were very much in denial about your bisexuality and hence never came out to your wife. I think you should tell her if you have been faithful. Just say that you have been in denial and need to be open. Do you really think she would freak out?? Think of the relief if you tell her and you can be yourself.

[Realist]

IF....you tell her, it'd certainly be best to tell her BEFORE you fall off the wagon and are intimate with someone.

BUT.....If you do not plan to act on your bi desires, and if you KNOW that she would react violently, maybe it'll be best to keep it to yourself.

[jackbolin]

I don't plan on ever telling her. That may not be cool in some people's eyes, but I know what her reaction would be and I KNOW she'd use it against me. I've not been unfaithful but not because I haven't tried. Something always falls through when it comes down to actually meeting someone. I honestly wouldn't think of being unfaithful but she simply doesn't meet my sexual needs and doesn't seem to care that she doesn't. She's not quite asexual, but she's almost there. Plus there are other issues with her that I won't go into.

[danreidbarmi]

Think of the relief if you tell her and you can be yourself.

The relief lasts about 24 hours. Then the shit hits the fan and doesn't stop for months, perhaps even years. But, here's the bottom line: it's always, ALWAYS better to live in truth. So, I agree, even if you haven't acted yet (and you will), be honest about your feelings now. There is never a better time than the present to 'fess up to who you really are. I know this, because I am losing my marriage of more than 20 yrs because I didn't do just that. I let my compulsions (and my behavior) increase over time, until it was too late.

I started a similar thread a couple of weeks ago, asking the question as to why it was that all the sensitive and empathetic things about my bisexual nature attracted my wife to me, while she can't handle my bisexuality -- because my attraction to both genders goes against her belief in monogamy.
I think sex is a beautiful thing, an important thing, an essential thing. If one needs to express that with both women and men, then it should be possible and acceptable within an honest and committed relationship.

For me, up until just recently, it was the honesty that I struggled with - both with myself and with my wife. Now, I'm committed to the truth. But, even tho my bisexual-ness was the fundamental attraction to my wife, the truth about it has destroyed my marriage.

[31cho]

well if the bi guy has a bf, and is into threesomes, then i suppose having an extra in the bedroom isnt a big deal, and brings and extra perk to the relationship. That's about it. Other than that, bi men are just men that need love, affection, and to feel appreciated...just like anyone else.

This is true. its just a bi lol product in the relationship.What really matters is about the other person. what really counts is walking through the park watchin the sunset w yr loved one or going for a walk and having ice cream w yr loved one or yr lost one.Thats what really counts in the relationship not just sex! being bisexual is just who god made us.

[colobicouple]

I have always been attracted to bi men (and married one 34 years ago) because I find them to be erotic and sensual. They also accept my bisexuality and can "relate". Plus it adds a great deal to the bedroom fun when we have "company"

Sharon

[gooniegoogoo]

They are some of the worlds best co-shoppers(outside of going shopping with a Gay man..omg)

See, that's how I know that I'll never turn gay. That, and boobs. :D

[Miyu Scene]

So a question to the forum: does the definition of bisexuality mean you get a partner from each sex? cause that's what I'm hearing.

I'm somewhere in the middle of the spectrum and have had relations, all across the board, that usually lasts a few weeks. The only thing I've been able to maintain is straight-ish female friendships and dating-ish male companions (that made me sound completely straight, but I assure you; I've got lesbionic tenancies). My worry is this: I'm forever going to float around from sexual conquest to another, or I'm too wild for a monogamous relationship. The closest mature relationship I've had was a sexless one with a boy, who couldn't accept that I was bi --it imploded recently. Anyways, I've been snooping around the forums and everything is pretty heavy on the sexual promiscuity but vague on lasting long term relationships. I know anythings possible to a bisexual but does anyone know of a good long term example that doesn't sacrifice a part of yourself. Bottom line is I'm young, in comparassion to the forums, and the world is looking pretty bleak. Is this it?


Oh, and in response to the thread's topic. Yes, fred fencesitter, I've found emotional investments in bisexual men that don't exist anywhere else. I've found where my lesbionic tendences kick in and I lead, they are coincidentally soft, in that area, and thankfully follow --and vice versa. For example, I can be rather rash, callus, and bullheaded --and to counter they can be contemplative, empathetic, and rational. In the end, our relationship rounds each other's personality out. I've spend many hours just discussion and contemplating the world's tenancies over a cup of coffee with many bi men.
And, I don't think it's fair to say that a bi man will turn gay eventually. Although, they would probably be amused that someone they were Fing thought that. I know I would. It's just as bad as telling a straight-ish person they'll just turn gay (after sleeping with the same sex), or a gay person they'll just turn straight (after sleeping with the opposite sex). You like what you like, no one is at liberty to tell you any different.