What's the hang up?...shooting blanks, but still hitting the target.

[slider23]

A few years back, I had prostate surgery that resulted in me not being able to produce sperm. Luckily for me I can still achieve an erection and experience a pleasurable orgasm without cumming. Ironiclly, with the help of meds like viagra, at times I'm a better sex partner then prior to the operation.

The reason I mention this is because every time I sure my story about the lack of being able to cum, in a chat or email, the other party becomes disinterested and fails to continue any interaction. Believe me, I am not looking for any pity, I just want some people to understand that a man who can't cum can still be sensual in many other physical ways with his touch, tongue, and creative imagination. I know the excitement of the feel,warmth, and pleasure that cum brings in sexual satisfaction, but I don't let the lack of it stop me from living out my erotic fantasies. I'm interested in hearing what others have to say on this topic. Thanks in advance!

[_Joe_]

I think it relates to when a guy feels a woman fakes the orgasm. He feels inadequate that he can't deliver. Sure you say you have one, but without evidence, same message goes through their head.

[Realist]

Guys, who cum without ejaculating, still have the same surges and pulsations in their cocks, when they cum, testicles still pull up, too......they just don't squirt. They will do exactly as they did before, only no, or very little cum escapes. Then, they'll usually get soft, soon afterwards, too.

[Long Duck Dong]

I have written about this issue in past years in the site, and its not something I hide..... tho my partner sometimes niggles a lil over the fact that I did not cum during sex...... but oh boy does she smile when it comes to the memories of what happened when I did, and we share jokes about the new kind of hair conditioner...lol

my issue is one of nerve damage and there are times that cumming can be extremely painful.... tho my partner and I found ways to ensure that it would bring both of us much pleasure.......

yes there are times that my partner has expressed a desire to feel that hot wet and sticky rush of love deep in her body while I am in the throes of a orgasm.... she often refers to the way the breathing changed, I would tense, shudder, hold her tight, kiss her.... then say * I am too old for this shit *....

it makes the orgasm unique for her.... and something we both share......and it can be sad that some people rate good sex as a spurt or 6 of the white stuff and that nothing short of that will do.........

lol my partner loved me cumming in her mouth in the shower then a hot, passionate, long lingering kiss that would make both our toes curl..... as it would make up for the 3 hour marathon in the bedroom later that night as we would be fucked in every way possible and with more than just my cock lol

part of the trouble is that partners want us to cum too and can fail to realise that we do not rate good sex as the white stuff... we rate it as teeth marks in the head board, rug burn on the butt and the neighbours telling us to STFU, they can hear us 3 doors down.... and the fact that we do cum and cum a lot... and fuckin love it..... we just lack the white sauce.....

besides, if lesbians can fuck without cocks and white sauce, and have screaming orgasms, why can't the males.....:tong::tong::tong::tong:

[NEPHX]

A few years back, I had prostate surgery that resulted in me not being able to produce sperm. Luckily for me I can still achieve an erection and experience a pleasurable orgasm without cumming. Ironiclly, with the help of meds like viagra, at times I'm a better sex partner then prior to the operation.


Clinically speaking the topic deserves some explanation. This is called retrograde ejaculation or "dry orgasm."

Chances are you are still producing sperm in your testicles. When a man orgasms, he doesn't ejaculate sperm (alone) but semen. During orgasm, sperm are released from the epididymis and travel via small tubes called the vas deferens. Sperm mix with secretions from the prostate to form semen.

Generally, most surgical procedures on an enlarged prostate are required due to urine retention/slow flow rate and can lead to UTIs, bladder infections, prostate infections and kidney failure.


What happens is that the prostate, after surgery, ejaculates semen through the path of least resistance - now its being redirected into the urinary bladder instead of passing through the sphincter and down through the urethra and out of the body. Later,the semen comes out harmlessly with urine. This generally leaves men infertile.

Doctors very often fail to explain that most (but not all) men will experience retrograde ejaculation from ANY kind of surgical operation to the prostate. Almost all men get progressively larger/enlarged prostate as they get older but not all men will require corrective action/surgery. Also, there are medications called alpha blockers available (TV commercials talk about them such as Flomax) that are worth trying before surgery).

They call ejaculation or cumming "the money shot" for a reason. People are often fascinated by cum, where it goes, how it comes out, the amount, tasting it, swallowing it, etc. so men that don't cum are not as interesting to some men and women.

[by~his~side]

Interesting subject. Slider, thank you for sharing your story.
Nephx, thank you for the helpful explanation.

I've been with a guy or two who didn't cum with orgasm. It was all good-I went back again. It's all about the type of lover a man he is.
Men are all different anyway. Some can tolerate the continued (oral) stimulation of their penis after orgasm. Some are too sensitive and need their partner to release the penis as soon as they've cum. How is a partner to know what their man likes unless he is vocal about it? Same applies to a man who doesn't cum at orgasm. Let me know at the start that there won't be a load....and then, if I haven't already been clued in by the rest of the physical signs that you've reached orgasm, just tell me.
Then put your hands in my hair, whisper for me to come close, kiss me.... and tell me how great it was.
It's all about the type of lover you are. Not how much you shoot.

~D~

[_Joe_]

If you tie him down and gag him, don't matter how sensative he is after he cums.

/me realized the inside voice got out again.

[NEPHX]

.....Then put your hands in my hair, whisper for me to come close, kiss me.... and tell me how great it was.
It's all about the type of lover you are. Not how much you shoot.

:tong:

exactly.... (regardless of gender)!

[Hephaestion]

Additional to NephX's medical account, it is possible to withhold ejacualation with orgasm. The Sperm would appear to be redirected into the bladder at times.

Not always the best of moves as

a) it makes ones pee smell with dying sperm
b) it is posible to cause higher urinary tract infections
c) it can reduce the fun of the 'mess' and it can hurt in the balls.

However it can be advantageous if one is not in the mood (it does happen at times) to lick ejaculate etc from the reciever.

Originally Posted by by~his~side
.....Then put your hands in my hair, whisper for me to come close, kiss me.... and tell me how great it was.
It's all about the type of lover you are. Not how much you shoot.

Like and agree with this.