Should I date bi men?

[sadeyed]

What I believe myself to be, is sometimes called a 'girl fag' on the internet but I don't condone the use of the word fag and find it demeaning.
I love gay men but don't want to be just a friend. I started dating bisexual men in order to be able to try and connect on a unique level. I want to be able to have a male/male aspect to our r'ship, despite the fact that i'm a woman. I don't want to *be* a man or dress as a man. I simply act masculine naturally.

I have had r'ships with women, and they've been much more difficult. I don't want to take on the male role in the sexual arena unless it's with another male. And to top it all off, I want to be the catcher, not the pitcher.

When dating a bi male recently, he expected me to perform on him in the male role. He didn't want to be penetrated. He was unable to maintain an erection due to having diabetes induced ED, but was able to orgasm many times. This didn't do much for me at all. His inexperience with women left me having to teach him about oral sex (which he also let it be known that while he liked doing it, he would rather do it to a man, and have it done by a man....pretty much leaving me out in the cold). Everything that he did to/for me felt very strained and foreign. The only thing that worked for us was akin to mutual masturbation, which, doesn't a sexlife make.

I'm left thinking that I should look for bi-men who have met women like me before (but no clue how to do that). Or, meeting someone less femme with no health problems!

I've never known anyone with my specific preferences, so I'm looking for advice from them, if anyone here fits that description or can somehow relate.
Thanks in advance!

[Long Duck Dong]

ok based around what I am reading, you are seeking a masculine natured bi male, that is not overly sensitive but direct, forward thinking and knows what he wants in a relationship and a woman, without the * sugar coating *

you do not come across as a 6 ft 5 lumber jill with more muscles than arnie... but more as a female that doesn't do the sexy underwear / lipstick parties... you just want a man in your life that compliments your masculine energy....

I am saying that as it sounds like the bi man was unable to mingle the female form with the masculine nature in a woman.... and cos you come across as a woman with the thinking that you will lay in bed and be the catcher cos its a form of sex you like, not cos its expected of you as a female to lay down and surrender to the male dominance

generally the only advice I can suggest is post on the forums and use chat..... and you can try a site called fetlife.... it is a fetish site but features a good deal of different groups including men that seek masculine women... and all sexualities are welcome.....
it is possible that there are people in both sites that may be the type of bi male that you seek and you may well be the type of woman they have been looking for.....

[sadeyed]

Thanks :) I would agree with what you've said.
I will look into feltife!
If anyone else has suggestions, many thanks :bibounce:

[Bluebiyou]

Speaking for myself sadeyed,
I recognized my attraction for women like you a long time ago.
I can pick them out of a crowd by natural attraction.
Nearly all of the women I've been with in my life either had been in a lesbian relationship or later became involved in one.
Not only have I been from mildly to madly in love with these bisexual women, I can say the same for them of me.
I'm currently in a relationship and even though 'Mrs Blue' has never been with a woman, the lesbian crowd loves her when we go to gay bars; I was honestly shocked when she said she had never been with a woman.

To answer your question more directly:
Date men you're attracted to...
I'll wager it to more likely be bisexual men.

Good luck!

[Realist]

I've said this before; There's someone for everyone, somewhere.

It's obvious that the fellow you were with is not "IT". You appear to have a set of specific parameters and probably won't deviate from them, much. It's my theory that, if you don't hold out for what you want and need, you will never be happy.

Actually, I wish I had stuck to my own list of characteristics that I felt I needed, but I settled for less.......I hope you never do that. As an example, I was married to a lady I didn't love for 23 years!

I'm a life-long bisexual, but considering my age, I'm not that experienced. I have been in love with both genders and did learn a few lessons along the way.

I am presently in the best relationship of my life, with a bisexual girl. She possesses the qualities I find most compelling. She says I fill the same needs in her, too. It's been a life-long search for me and a long time in coming, but I hope you will be more successful and more intelligent about your choices, than I was. It may make take you some time, a few heartaches, and mistakes, but if you are smart, and tenacious, you'll get there.

Everything is better and brighter for me, now. We're not only lovers, but friends, communicators, and have an almost psychic connection. We have many mutual interests that most men/women don't share and I love having her around, working in the garage with me, cooking, taking long walks, listening to music, building things together, helping each other, etc, etc. She's like the best buddy I ever had, but she is also the best lover I've ever had, too. We're also not jealous and are secure in our relationship. We haven't had anyone else in our relationship, but may in the future. We both have a polyamouros* bent, but neither of us feel rushed for that to happen.

* never sure how to spell that!

I hope you're young (no profile, can't tell much about you) and have the patience to carefully select the mate who will fill your desires, as well as you being the one who will fill his.........or hers.

Don't give up and don't settle for less than you want!

Oh, and Welcome to the site!

[biinlou]

Date the person not the preference. That's what equality is all about.


Jim

[ATaurusJoker]

Date the person not the preference. That's what equality is all about.


Jim

Ummmm..... What? This doesn't make any sense.

Sadeyed: Hold out for what you want. I am doing the same and it has brought me far more happiness.

[RobUK]

Why not? We're lovely!
:bigrin: