is gay sex always hot and passionate?

[bizel]

got this off a site for women married to gay/bi guys. it said that 'gay sex was hot and passionate. straight sex was loving and affectionate.'

am i being naive in thinking that sex with me after sex with a guy is just comforting?? sex with my hubby was always hot and passionate, loving and affectionate, sweaty and grunty and wonderful. is it only going to be hot and passionate on my side now? i know he's struggling with the thought that he may not find me sexually attractive, and that those thoughts come from the euphoria created from his tantalising foray into male sex. i know he doesn't feel attracted to the men, just the act. he may settle down and find me lustable. he may not. but if sex is just to be loving and affectionate with me from now on, i may as well buy him a dog and blowup doll.

bi guy's, is this a crock? i suspect the feelings and emotions are different with a guy, but can't it also be hot and passionate again with me? how do you get a hard-on for average? i've had average sex before (twice - yeah, that's all the lovers i had - pathetic i realise now), and if it was just going to be average, i don't know if it's worth having sex again.

[Long Duck Dong]

compare random spontaneous sex with your hubby, to slow love making.... then think about random spontaneous sex between your hubby and another male.... and slow love making with you......

you may be able to understand the way the energy flows... then you have the other aspects... like no commitment, no strings, no hooks, between your hubby and the male partner and that can give a freer feeling to it....

commitment in a relationship is something that wears on our mind and when we have causal hook ups without the commitment aspect.... we can find a freedom in the sex.. and that can add to the appeal........

now removing the sexuality for a moment.... the same dynamics happen between people in relationships that have casual encounters, regardless of the sexuality of any of the people involved......

bizel.... watch two dogs fucking or two cats fucking...... and you notice the way it goes.... the fury of the fucking, the sex mad act.... they do not make love, but they are driven by a primal urge that overrides most natural instincts.......
in some animals, such as wolves, you can see the on going softer, gentler side emerge......later after mating season is over.......

they do not understand things in terms of commitment and marriage, relationships etc the way we do.... but our relationships are modelled on the way that nature does things.........

your hubby is following the same pattern, the wild, mad, cock pumping, pussy pounding, male dominating, panting and gasping, deep strokes, yielding body, overwhelming desire to mount, take, own and fill to the hilt with liquid gold.......
and now the love making is non sexual, its in the communication, the holding, the knowing each other, and the working thru issues.......

he will take some time to settle to a new level.......

as for gay sex is hot and passionate, straight sex is loving and affectionate..... mmmm.... personal perception.... and DD, my partner can tell you that loving and affectionate, is not always true..... specially when we are walking to town and she turns around and tells me that she can still feel me in her from the night before.......

in my eyes, untamed, wild, passionate, hot, teeth in the headboard, nails ripping the sheets, neighbours telling you to shut up, police calling around cos of the screaming orgams, tongues, fingers, toes, arms, legs, toys pussies, asses balls and all, type sex is something that is in all of us... the sexuality doesn't make a difference nor the gender of the people....

[coyotedude]

I think I understand where the poster is coming from. But no, I don't think gay sex is always hot and passionate. And Mrs. Coyote and I certainly have been known to engage in hot, passionate sex on occasion.

Of course, there is a difference between sex and intimacy. I believe that for many (if not most) bisexual men, it is far easier to take another man's penis into their mouths than it is to hold that same man's hand while walking on the beach at sunset. For the majority of bi men, I think that romance and intimacy are reserved for their female partners. And that's where I think the poster is coming from.

For a bisexual man, you as the female partner meet emotional and physical needs that another man never could. So there is absolutely no reason why sex with your bi hubby couldn't be as hot and passionate as his sex with another man. In fact, I would think it should be more hot and passionate, because you are his life partner, and there's an emotional depth to your relationship that would be lacking in his relationships with other men.

And your partner needs to be conscious of the fact that you have needs, too. I know that in my case, Mrs. Coyote would never put up with being second fiddle in the bedroom - or the living room - or the kitchen... :bigrin: Nor should she. I love her, and I've made a commitment to her, and it's up to me to see it through - even if our relationship ever evolves to the point where it would be acceptable for me to have sex with a man outside the marriage.

Hope this is helpful...

[tenni]

Bisexuals have a wide range of sexual appetites and expressions. Some bi guys may be only interested in the anatomy of another man(dick focused) and not the individual's personality. There may be no interest in perceiving other men beyond the cock. Some of us bi guys and of course straight guys learned to be sensual and passionate by being with women. That's what women wanted and we learn to also want that type of interaction. We wanted women and wanted to learn to be a better kisser, etc. cuz that is how you improve your chances of scoring with a chic...lol etc. Women demanded that we slow down and there is a lot that needs to be done to get a women turned on rather than another guy...lol We reserve the expressions of "loving and affection" for women while others express loving and affection to same sex partners as well. It may be hot and passionate and loving and affectionate at the same time with the same partner regardless of the gender. (personally though for me that doesn't include transexuals though. I consider those who can include transexuals as pansexual and not really bisexuals..imo). I sometimes wonder if it is the comfort level of a bisexual man's sexuality that may not permit him to feel all of the possibilities and his homophobic fears and feelings that reserves affection and loving just for women. I don't know except that there is a wide range of sexual activity and expression.

It is possible that when your hubby has experienced more same sex activity that he may be able to integrate all aspects of sexual expression and be comfortable with a person regardless of their gender or only be able to express love and affection for you his female partner.

So, I would write that that site was ignorant of all the possibilities. I'd want more statistical information from that site as to how they came up with their ideas..otherwise, I'd think that they are just shovelling it. :)


got this off a site for women married to gay/bi guys. it said that 'gay sex was hot and passionate. straight sex was loving and affectionate.'

am i being naive in thinking that sex with me after sex with a guy is just comforting?? sex with my hubby was always hot and passionate, loving and affectionate, sweaty and grunty and wonderful. is it only going to be hot and passionate on my side now? i know he's struggling with the thought that he may not find me sexually attractive, and that those thoughts come from the euphoria created from his tantalising foray into male sex. i know he doesn't feel attracted to the men, just the act. he may settle down and find me lustable. he may not. but if sex is just to be loving and affectionate with me from now on, i may as well buy him a dog and blowup doll.

bi guy's, is this a crock? i suspect the feelings and emotions are different with a guy, but can't it also be hot and passionate again with me? how do you get a hard-on for average? i've had average sex before (twice - yeah, that's all the lovers i had - pathetic i realise now), and if it was just going to be average, i don't know if it's worth having sex again.