is marriage becoming obselete ?

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah the title is a bit extreme, but according to the US census numbers, marriage is no longer a majority in households.....

Less-than-half-of-US-households-married (http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/5070711/Less-than-half-of-US-households-married)

its a bit of a shift and there are many reasons why... but if I use the reasoning I hear from friends in NZ, where I live... then there are a few reasons why and some of them make good sense

1) divorces are headaches, relationships still hurt, but less legal issues to deal with.....

2) why get married, it doesn't change how much you love a person....

3) (in NZ ) if you are married, you get less subsidies and family support than unmarried people

4) it no longer means you are commited to that person alone, it just means that you are married to them....

[_someone_]

Not a bad article. I think it's also possible that lots of adults might prefer to live independently and not have to be with relatives or the like, and because of that they'll decide to live together while in the relationship, before considering the marriage. Some people don't think it needs to be some legal conformation and would skip it.

I've also heard about some divorces that take quite a bit of time to be finalized. There can be stress in living together, but likely more in those other ties.

[lizard-lix]

Sad... I am so fresh from the wedding of my nephew and his lovely fiance that my hangover is still going :bigrin: (come on coffee!)

I understand why folks are hesitant to marry, but although people can be fully committed to each other without it, the joining of families and the larger commitment of becoming part of the 'clan' is also part of that commitment, and in my mind that is a good thing.

Yeah, you end up with relatives that you might not have wanted (I saw several of them last night too), and all that. However, seeing the boy who was the ring bearer at our wedding, now almost 40, married with a wonderful wife, 2 kids and being best man for his younger brother; with one of HIS sons carrying the rings did my heart good. The continuity and larger aspect of family means a lot, to me and the folks there last night at least (despite that they would certainly not accept my bi ness or that my wife and I are considering ending monogamy)

It doesn't often go like that when you skip the marriage..

OTOH, I know that in some places this is a more gradual process, one of my coworkers in Sweden met and lived with his wife and had several kids before they married and this is pretty common there.. They made totally sure that they wanted to make that larger commitment before doing it.

I say all this independent of orientation as I wish it could go like this for couples of any orientation, and I wish it could work for tri's or quads besides pairs (that would make some of the orientation items less difficult, but the US certainly doesn't seem ready for that).

I also say this independent of the openness or monogamy of the marriage, as that is independent of that things I am speaking of.

Maybe it's just my hangover and old fashion 'tude speaking, but regardless of the other issues, marriage joins families and I think that is a good thing.

Liz

[dickhand]

I would hope so !

[Realist]

Nope, I don't think so.

But, it's good that folks are more accepting of those who don't choose to follow traditions.