Wife knowing Im bi.

[obviousbulge]

My life has been hard where I’m bisexual and my wife knows I am but I haven’t been out looking to meet up with guys. My wife has known for a few yrs now that I’m bi. And she is ok with it but doesn’t want me to go out and act on it. We use to watch bi porn to gather once she ask if I like guys to and at that time she was turn on by it. Until on day she found out that I was talking to a guy by e mail who was bisexual himself. Once she found out and was very pissed off and upset. She told me that she didn’t want to hear any more about bisexual things or even stopped watching bi porn as well. In the past week we have been watching str porn while watching str porn I have been turn on by seeing men and woman but have been turn on big time watching the guys in the movie with their big cocks and nice as. As we were watching the movie I was really turn on by the guys. So I looked at her and notice she was turn on to so I said wow I’m really turn on dear and she said what is it about the movie that has you turn on and didn’t want to say just in case it killed the mood so I just said I’m turn on by the whole picture and it was hard not to say I was turn on by the men with had big cocks. But she knows I look at men to as much as woman. It’s just hard at times where I would like to say wow he’s sexy to without pissing her off. Any one have ideas how I can get by day to day in this matter?

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah talk with your wife honestly.... she may have come around and is willing to rethink things with you......

personally, its what you should have done at the start, instead of going behind her back cos it affected your relationship with your wife on a negative level......

being open and honest is hard, differcult and at times, ends relationships and marriages.... but other times, it strengthens them as your partner respects the fact you respect her by being honest with her....... partners are supposed to be honest with their partners......

who knows, she may be willing to relax her stance on you acting on your desires...and she may be willing to be involved......

is it worth lying to her again ? when she could be offering a chance to try again.....

[Gearbox]

It seems like she might be worried about loosing you to another man if you meet up with one. Same worries you'd have too if she was to do the same, most probably.
So the best thing you can do is talk openly about it. What you are doing now, is keeping your thoughts about men from her. She KNOWS that!
How is she going to trust you?

If it's true: explain that she has no chance of loosing you. That you want a man just for sex, and the experience of it.

I assume that she doesn't know that you've joined this site?:rolleyes:
It might be a good idea to let her browse it, in the hope that she'll get some idea of bisexuality. (Hope that's good advice!:bigrin:).

[obviousbulge]

Thank you all for your input. I hope things for me work out great at the end.

[mikey3000]

Just take your time. I know that's easier said than done, but I've just been through what you're going through. Maybe try introducing and inaginary guy to your dirty talk when making love to her. Is there a certain male celebrity that she really likes? Maybe have him join you in bed? Imagination is such a great thingTell her (while you're doing her) what it'd be like to see him do her. Believe me that'll get her crazy. After you do that a few times, get kinkier and have him and you do her in your fantasy sessions. Always remember to keep checking to see how's she enjoying it. If she seems uncomfortable, back off with the fantasy dude a little and focus on her. If she likes the fantasy guy thing, then keep going and see how she feels about you and her doing him. Dirty talk in bed can be such a useful thing, and surprisingly, women like it. Many are worse then men!! This could help get the ball rolling in your direction, just go slow and reassure her that no one can replace her.

[jackbirdjay]

Been with my wife for 30 years. I told her from the start I was bicurious(but I am bisexual) Been tring to get her in to a 3 way but she tells me no way. She knows I watch gay and bisexual porn and is ok with it. We even in the bed room play it out but won't do or wants me to be with a guy. Before I met her I had sex with lots more guys than girls. So I know it's hard.

[DanniNeels]

It is foolish of her to basically forbid you from even thinking about other guys!*
Two questions:
1- Is she bi at all or has she ever been with or wanted to try another girl?
2- Have you two ever fantasized about a 3-way with another man? Even with her as the sole focus? I'll bet you anything she has, even if she doesn't admit it!
Solution: Find her biggest turn-on and forbid her from ever enjoying even the thought of experiencing it again... But if you aren't willing to pick the fight, then hide your desires from her entirely & find yourself a "friend" to go watch "sports" with and suck & fuck each other as much as you like & never let her know, because of her closed mindedness.*
IMPORTANT: If you still try to ease your bi fantasies in, she will think of you as less of a man (if you haven't already passed that point) and she will find herself what she will justify as a real man... One who only likes women & who will probably eventually leave her for a hotter & younger piece of girly ass!*
Lastly, something to ponder: Are you seeking intimacy, cuddling & poems from a man or is it purely sexual where you just want to suck and or fuck?
Silly wife could have 2 or more cocks with your approval that would please you both!

[tenni]

"And she is ok with it but doesn’t want me to go out and act on it. "

No she is not really ok with your bisexuality at all. She wants you to behave like a monosexual and more specifically as a straight monosexual. That is not being ok with it. By her not kicking you to the curb for being a bisexual, you have decided that is she is ok with your sexuality. Lie to yourself. Deny yourself and all will be fine...for her...not you.

Although, if you pay attention to what Mikey wrote, it may improve.

[mikey3000]

Hey guys, remember, don't blame the wife. It's not her fault that the huby is now bi, of that he wasn't honest with her from the start. She married a straight guy expecting monogamy. That is very reasonable. All he can do is try to win her over to his mindset and take it from there. Or he can stand his ground with his needs, and she has the right to leave. Very simple. Not all women can handle that their husband now wants to sleep with men.

[obviousbulge]

Thank you all for help in this matter. Im going to try to open up to her slow to see if I can even talk to her about me. Again Thanks

[JP1986UM]

Could I suggest a counselor?

It did wonders for my marriage. We are closer than ever and I can date other men.

Seriously. It helps.

[BiPsych]

You must undersstand from the woman's point of view. She is comfortable with you being bi, but . like most woman is jealous. She wants you to be all hers. I see that you have three options. First, stay mongomous. Stay committed to her sexually for your marriage and your love for her. Second, divorce and plan the man field as you wish. Third, both og you go to conceling and work a comprmise out.

I must mention, finding a woman who accepts your bi-ness is rare. Most women freek at the thought. I exwife did.

I hope this helps.

Bi John

[obviousbulge]

You must undersstand from the woman's point of view. She is comfortable with you being bi, but . like most woman is jealous. She wants you to be all hers. I see that you have three options. First, stay mongomous. Stay committed to her sexually for your marriage and your love for her. Second, divorce and plan the man field as you wish. Third, both og you go to conceling and work a comprmise out.

I must mention, finding a woman who accepts your bi-ness is rare. Most women freek at the thought. I exwife did.

I hope this helps.

Bi John

Omg last night I woke up feeling horny and was hard as a rock. I look over at the wife to see if she was a wake or not and seen her rubbing her breast so then I wasnt sure if I was talking in my sleep or not. So I laid there for a few sec's watching her and then I said softly dear are you are wake and she did say yes and talk about my heart jump. I told her Im in the mood and she said is it because I was having anal sex with another man. Wasn't sure how to answer that back so I just said Im horny. She reach over and was stroking me so then I went to touch her down there and found she was really wet. Wasn't sure how to act around her this morning after last night where she said I was talking in my sleep.