Hmmm, exactly what is my title?

[denariusamor]

I'm new to this thing so I'm just looking for people to talk to about this new world. I was straight til I was 17, then I was strictly with women. now, at 35, I am with a man and a woman. I still consider myself a lesbian, i just think he is my exception. I have no interest in any other man but him. Yes I appreciate an attractive man but I don't want to have sex with them. They have children together and I am considered a parent but we weren't sure what my " title" should be, is it just my name or is it aunt.... i don't really know what to call myself to the kids. (the oldest, who is 6, sometimes calls them both by their names rather than mom or dad.) But I am more than just an aunt; so, I wondered what other families like ours have done.

[Long Duck Dong]

its who you feel comfortable being called by kids

I call my step father by his name but I tell people he is my step father and somebody I regard as a father....

[denariusamor]

So should I let the kids decide what they want to call me? Cuz they are at an age where we will probably not have to "come out" to them cuz they are 6 & 4 but they need to know I'm more than a friend to mommy and daddy. And do we sit down and talk to them about it at all?

[Long Duck Dong]

talking with them is good, but having parental guidelines is also good....

the hard part is the common ground, do you allow the children to call people by their first names, or put in some rules in order to show respect for other people and strangers..... its one of the issues of being a parent and there is no simple answer

I was raised to refer to my parents as mum and dad, my step father by his name or as dad, ( I chose his real first name ) and strangers as mr and mrs / miss..... so it was a mixture

so based around that, I would have a adult conversation first and see what structure the parents / adults want to set with the children for now and the future.... and go from there

[denariusamor]

Thank you very VERY much. you have been so completely helpful. Thank you again.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Whats wrong with having them call you Auntie(Insert name here) and let them go with that? Its family, and its respectable at that. And I dont know the kids' ages, but they arent dumb, Hon. Not in this day and age...:}
Good luck whatever way you choose to go..:}
Cat

[denariusamor]

Nothing wrong, per say, I just feel like I'm more of a parent, aunt's and uncle's they get the noisy gift and go home. I get to stay with the noisy gift. Lol.

[cddm50]

So should I let the kids decide what they want to call me? Cuz they are at an age where we will probably not have to "come out" to them cuz they are 6 & 4 but they need to know I'm more than a friend to mommy and daddy.

How about being called "mother" in a different language like Ema (mother in Estonian) or Mãe (Portuguese) as a nickname? Take a look, maybe you find something you like... Could grow on ya. Whatever you decide though just be a kind, loving, and a trusting person as well as a good mentor to the kids. That's all that matters.

http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com/mother-in-different-languages.html

[denariusamor]

I like the idea of a nickname. Thank you. That's really cool sound wise thoughtful advice.

[the sacred night]

No reason you can't also be Mommy, Mom, whatever they call the mom... or one of you could be "Mom" and the other "Mummy," or any two different motherly nicknames, or you could be Godmother.