To couples that are not both Bi, how did your spouse take it?

[Taurus1024]

As a straight spouse of a bi-curious wife, I'd love to know how other couples have dealt with the stress/strain in their relationship.

[Realist]

There are members here, who are experiencing this same situation. Some of them are accepting and even interested in being part of their mate's explorations. Others are having difficulty .....and some have split up over their partners coming out to them. Each person takes the news differently.

In my own case, I revealed my bisexuality to my ex wife and she accepted it. I had to promise to not get involved with anyone else, though. I loved her and the decision wasn't difficult for me. I was tempted a few times, but didn't fall off the wagon.

However, over the years, my wife allowed my past to bug her and towards the end, she began thinking I was running around with someone. I wasn't!

But, I'd cheated on my previous wife, which I had admitted it to her prior to our marriage. Being honest with her, in the beginning, finally was our downfall, as she became paranoid that I was cheating...or seriously wanted to.

I would still reveal my past and have with my present GF. We've been together for 2 1/2 years, now and we're still solid as rock. Of course, since my GF's bisexual, too, I'm sure that has been a real boon to this relationship!

In my less-than-prolific experiences, men seem to take their wives' bisexuality better than women accept a man's.

[lizard-lix]

I told my wife before we married 32 years ago that I was bi, she took it in stride and, as we decided on monogamy, it never really came back up..

But lately I've been experiencing a greater need and have wanted to expand our sexual horizons. So I brought it up and we have been working at it for some time now. She has not had any problems with my bringing it back up again that I am bi, but has not yet agreed to breaking monogamy.

I think I am typical of a lot of people here, I just may be more vocal. Some folks are not as lucky, in that their spouse is not handling it so well, some are luckier because their spouse is either OK with them finding a lover, or they join in the party too.

It can be a strain, for sure, but keep the communications and love going and it can work..

[artsy girl]

I can say from a womans standpoint yes, my husband has tooken it quite well, but it did take time to get to the point where were at now.

When i first told him, he was definitly not that accepting at first and he had difficult accepting it. Since then he's figure out of course that this is the way i am and we have agreed on monogomy although sometimes it's a hard road to stay on when your bi.
I also find it has to be a consistant thing where i am honest with him about what it's like to be bi and that there are times when i'm not attracted to him.

It really is a difficult thing to explain to your spouse and it takes times, but it's also nice to be honest about being yourself.

artsy

[trentino]

I've just recently come out to my wife as "bi" (or rather "heteroflexible" a term I came across on another post and really suits my inclinations perflectly. A distinction I will have to clarify) and her reaction had been generally positive. She herself has absolutely no desire to experience feminine homosexuality. I was encouraged to come out to her by many compassionate members of this site and the fact that the issue has been eating away at me for a long, long time.

We were making loveplay when I told her about my (extensive) history and (intense) desires. We sometimes employ sextoys, and when we brought out the strap-on, I playfully felated the tip of it which led to the revelations.

Our play immediately ceased and we commenced to discuss the issue late into the night. We have many gay friends and once she even mentioned to me that she "wouldn't mind one bit" if I were bi. (In fact, this last assertion was not as sincere as I had hoped it to be) As I mentioned in a different post, over the course of the discussion the theme mutated into an argument over unresolved issues between us in our marriage. In my estimation, at this early moment, is that my desire to experience additional homosexual sex is not as disturbing to our union in the least, compared to other longstanding points of contention.

The next morning, after we both slept well and soundly, she announced to me that she was "okay with it" and proceeded to give me yet another stellar blowjob before leaving for work.

I can still see in her eyes that she's wondering where my true interests lie, but with time and communication I'm hoping that we'll be able to evolve in our relationship and explore our sexuality in an even more exhilirating manner. IN fact, we've been having amazing sex since I came out to her. I have a greater sense of freedom and have released this burden that was perhaps inhibiting my intamacy towards her. And for her, I can only assume the same for the time being.

I would love, some day, to get her on this site so that she could truly express her feelings towards my initial cowardice, her intuitive ponderings, and her assimilation of this "new" information.

I don't know if this is of any help to you. I would love to hear the specifics of your feelings regarding your wife's revelations.

[Moonlight_BHI]

Well I'm only in a relationship but my boyfriend took it well... we just set rules that we both agreed too.

[cumplay]

Well, for me, it was my ex wife who initially brought it up. We were involved in an incredible love making session when I brought up that it might be cool to see her sucking another guy while we were fucking. To which she immediately said, that it would turn her on even more to take that cock out of her mouth and put it in mine, then we could suck it together. I could feel my cock growing at the thought [so did she]. We talked and fantasized about it for quite some time after that but never acted on it. We're divorced now and my current gf is bi.

[hgf33]

I understand that some people don't realize they are bi until later in life, maybe even years after they are married. It's one of those crazy phenomenons, I guess. But for those of you who knew all along... what were you thinking, keeping something like that from the person you're supposed to share your life with?! It's depressing to me that there are so many scenarios like this on here, and it's no wonder there are so many divorces. Too many people simply aren't developing that trust base that all relationships require in order to be successful. Now, like I said, if you didn't realize it until after you were married, than that's different. It's out of your control. In these cases, it's best to tell your spouse and make sure you explain what it truly means to be bi, so they don't just assume you're gay or you're going to cheat. Knowledge is always vital to understanding.

I'm not married, but I'm in a very serious LTR. My boyfriend knows I'm bi, and he knew very early on. I made sure of it. He has some healthy curiosities/insecurities about it, like anyone would about anything. It's normal, and keeps us on our toes. He's very ok with my sexuality and even encourages it. He thinks it's hot that I can find women attractive right along with him. Then there are no "jealous girlfriend" issues, bc I'm usually checking out the same girls he is (unless they're unattractive, and then I make fun of him, LOL!) The best thing we can do is just communicate. If someone loves you, they should accept everything about you, even if they don't like it. It could also turn out to be a really good thing that strengthens your bond... And your sex life!