A lonly me...

[AngeLove32]

I am 32 NOT the average 32 year old person. I was born Intersexed with an extra chromosome. I know that this is a Bi Chat I figured I should give this a try. My condition is alot deeper than a gay issue. I am caught between both worlds. I am NOT a transexual by any means. I live my life as a Female. I don't nor am I attracted to females or gay males what so ever. I perfer a straight man or a Bi man. It's hard for me that these men like me with liking them back then I must explain my condition when the plot thickens. It's never easy when or where to expain the condition I have to others that sees a perfectly normal female. I like to give them the opportunity to get to know the real me instead of telling them upfront and center before they miss judge me and mistaken me for a transexual individual. I am trying to just live my life as normal as possible so I can stay sane to live through the day one day at a time. There isn't a better way for me to tell my shameful secret just the anticipation it's self to know if your gonna get rejected, humiliated, hurt or wind up dead for that matter is killing me.
I don't wanna be another tragic victim because I meet the wrong person, but I just wanna live
my life without struggling and NOT living utterly alone. So am I making the right decisions or am I playing with the fire???

[Gearbox]

Hello there AngeLove32.:)

I have a friend who has Klinefelter Syndrome (Not a nice description sorry!).
It sounds like you have the extra x, so I'm assuming your the same/similar.
She raves about being ignored and misunderstood by the medical profession as well as other people. That's her way of dealing with it. She's actually proud to be her, and doesn't hide it at all.:)
In fact, she's a highly intelligent and VERY emotional person. She says that's common for Klinefelters.

As you already must have figured out, you got to risk getting burned sometimes. Without that we'd get a guarantee of nothing.
Hope you get comfy.;)

[AngeLove32]

Well ThNx ;) I as well am very proud of who I am I just think it's a dirty little secret that I must tell eventually. I honestly don't know what type of condition I'm facing because it cost to get in the door to talk to a doctor now a days. I am going to the clinic & seeing a doctor who is administrating hormones to me. I've Always been feminine even growing up. I just hate the fact that I can't live a normal life without much disappointment and suffering.

[Realist]

Welcome to the site, Ange!

I believe you've come to the right place. There's many wonderful, intelligent and caring, folks, here. You're sure to meet someone, who will be a friend, or maybe more.

Be advised that there may be a few antagonists here, too.

If you'd ask for my advice.......I'd say, ask questions, write your thoughts and dreams, then interact with those who are polite and respectful.

Take what you need, but ignore those who delight in being abrasive.

I hope you come to think of us as a family and friends.

Good luck!

[DuckiesDarling]

Welcome to the site, AngeLove as Realist said there are many people here from all walks so just join in. I'm sure you'll find at least one person in the same boat as you, only he lives his life as a male and is bisexual.

[AngeLove32]

Well Thnx to Every1!!!

[Northerner]

Welcome to the group AngeLove.

As others have commented, there is the odd troll in the neighborhood, but if you ignore them and hang around you will find many friendly, accepting people. While I don't contribute too often, I have learned a lot from many of the discussions. I'll be watching to see what I can learn from you too.

Northerner

[falcondfw]

Allow me to add my voice of welcome. I won't restate what everyone else here has said, but just say relax, c'mon in, kick your shoes off, and enjoy the ride.

[bityme]

I am 32 NOT the average 32 year old person. I was born Intersexed with an extra chromosome. I know that this is a Bi Chat I figured I should give this a try. My condition is alot deeper than a gay issue. I am caught between both worlds. I am NOT a transexual by any means. I live my life as a Female. I don't nor am I attracted to females or gay males what so ever. I perfer a straight man or a Bi man. It's hard for me that these men like me with liking them back then I must explain my condition when the plot thickens. It's never easy when or where to expain the condition I have to others that sees a perfectly normal female. I like to give them the opportunity to get to know the real me instead of telling them upfront and center before they miss judge me and mistaken me for a transexual individual. I am trying to just live my life as normal as possible so I can stay sane to live through the day one day at a time. There isn't a better way for me to tell my shameful secret just the anticipation it's self to know if your gonna get rejected, humiliated, hurt or wind up dead for that matter is killing me.
I don't wanna be another tragic victim because I meet the wrong person, but I just wanna live
my life without struggling and NOT living utterly alone. So am I making the right decisions or am I playing with the fire???

Welcome to the site, Angel,

I think that you will find that many of the members here are caring and compassionate individuals who will, at the very least, provide a good sounding board.

I can't tell you how or when to tell someone you are interested in about your condition, but I can tell you that what you call your "SECRET" IS NEITHER SHAMEFUL NOR DIRTY. It is just a fact of life.

There are myriad reasons that someone we are attracted to might reject us. In that regard you are definitely not alone. Our bodies change at different points in our lives creating the fabulous variety of people you see every day. The vast majority of us struggle with our conditions as you do with yours. I realize, of course, that yours is not transitory, but something you will be dealing with for the rest of your life.

In the picture you posted on your profile I see an attractive young lady. You have no need to feel badly because you want to wait until you get to know them before you disclose your condition. The question really is: "When does the need to know arise?" A glib answer would be that it arises sometime between saying "Hello" for the first time and the time that rising passion makes you want to become intimate. As you indicate, you want to avoid a situation that might be harmful to your upon disclosure.

This site, and many others, allows you to post such information in your profile, as you have. If someone contacts you, you can ask them if they have read your profile. If they answer in the affirmative, the disclosure has already taken place and then inquire if they have any questions. The downside of posting such information is that it also becomes available to individuals whose interest is not desired by you.

While you may at times be rejected and feel hurt, NEVER, NEVER let yourself be humiliated because of your condition. Being humiliated is someone else causing you a painful loss of pride, self-respect, or dignity. You have control over that. If you are, as you indicate, proud of who you are, no self-centered, ignorant, uncaring, phobic $%#*(& should ever be allowed to change that, especially because the attempt to humiliate you is nothing more than an expression of his own ignorance and fear.

Hold your head high 'cause YOU GO GIRL!

Pappy

[AngeLove32]

Well ThNx to All who have listened and gave their lending ear to accept me as a person & NOT to be singled out I truely appreciate it. ThNx for the warm welcomes ;)

[tenni]

AngeLove32
You are dealing with quite a lot. I think that you are taking a good approach about when to disclose. I do feel empathy for you if you feel that disclosing your situation may lead to violence. In that respect of fear that disclosing may lead to a negative reaction brings you into a commonality of some on this site. One of the welcomers is heterosexual and others "wish" this site to be for all regardless of their sexuality. HOWEVER, if you read the banner, you are correct that this is a site for bisexuals. You may find a feeling of welcome. I am one that is not that welcoming to all sexualities and situations. I am one who believes that this site is for bisexuals and those in relationships (who wish clarification on bisexuality). If it became a site for all, it really becomes a stolen place where bisexual issues are watered down. Notice that bisexual people like me have been referred to as "trolls" and "antagonist" by these welcomers. This is how they treat people who really are bisexual and want a space to chat and learn about their sexuality amongst other bisexuals(not very saint like are they now).

So, do stay for awhile. Some will have empathy for you. I have empathy for you and your situation. I wish you best fortune with your visits to the medical facility. I hope that they are able to help you. I cringed when I read that it will be difficult for you to get help due to your country's medical arrangements.

Bottom line though is that this site is not really for you. You have stated that you are Intersexed and heterosexual rather than bisexual. The mandate of this site is not for Intersexed heterosexuals. I hope that you are able to find a site specifically for people in your situation but it is not this site. Some people here will give you empathy and "I know someone" stories. But that is just about all that you will get here. If recent history follows, there may now be attacks on me by these so called "saintly" all are welcome crowd.

Best of fortune to you though.

[Realist]

Ange wrote......"I perfer a straight man or a Bi man"

Her interest in getting to know more about bisexual men is best found where bisexual men congregate. What better place for her to discuss bisexuality and learn about bisexual people and their idiosyncrasies, than here?

I believe this place is not only for bisexuals, but for those to may be curious, or care and love them, too.

It may also afford us an opportunity to learn more about intersexed folks, too. How can that be a bad thing? I, for one, am looking forward to reading what Ange has to say.

I hope she will learn as much from us as we do from her.

[AngeLove32]

Well I appreciate All the feedbacks LET ME ClEARIFY THE AIR. There isn't a Hermaphrodite or a Intersexed Site where there are others just like ME... I maybe an Out Cast to many, but I AM ME THEREFORE I CAN ONLY BE ME. I'm sorry, but I do NOT like Women because I associate myself with a Female and I'm NOT Attracted to them. I Believe that I was Suppose to be a born a normal Female instead of being caught in-between. I DON'T have it like a regular Male or Female, but different challenges and Obsticles I must climb thru. U have the means and the ways to be totally discreet about UR Sexuallity, but I don't. Unlike Most of U's I'm trapped in another body that doesn't fit with my brain and I think that's torture enough. Do U know what it feels like to be different or the out cast isolated from every one when U try to be put on a smile and live UR some what life, a tragic life... It's like I'm the only one left from my kind who is trying to find a way to fit in the crowd because I feel as if there is o only ME in this world cause NO ONE knows what I must endure in life, in my life. Since Bi Men Love BOTH Sexes well Hell I figured well Y NOT date some one and fall in lOve with some one like that who could understand me better and feel acceptance for a chance, but even so MOST Bi Men look past ME as if I'm NOT Good Enough so I can't even WIN FOR LOSING IN THIS GAME...

[Annika L]

If recent history follows, there may now be attacks on me by these so called "saintly" all are welcome crowd.


Good call tenni. When you tell someone whether or not the site is for them, you overstep your bounds. Feel free to point out who and what this site is for, and let others decide whether or not it's for them. It was at least nice of you to invite her to "stay a while".

I think Ange did a fine job of explaining why this site may in fact be for her...and I think she knows better than you do. But I don't think she owed you or anyone else here that explanation. It is effectively harrassment to point out why she *may* not fit in here, and I think it's pretty crappy that you do it.

*adjusts her halo and shuts up*

[elian]

There isn't a better way for me to tell my shameful secret

I can understand your concern but you shouldn't be ashamed of the way you were born, eventually you will find someone who will love and accept you for who you are.

[chuck1124]

Welcome, Angel. You are among friends and, to an extent, family. Most of us, (yes there is the occasional troll) have a secret passion and a special interest. YOu sound like such an interesting person. Relax, enjoy, learn and love. We are here for you.

[falcondfw]

Well, Tenni strikes again. Ange, by the way, one of the trolls Tenni spoke about was himself.
I love his way of handling things. "Welcome to the site Ange, now enjoy this slap in the face."
I am so sick of your BS Tenni. Just be glad that Drew is much more patient than I am.
Ange, ignore this neanderthal. Welcome to the site. Try and find your bearings and some friends. Most of the people here are very accepting of differences. The internet is the great equalizer. For all nationalities, no one can see your skin color. For all religions, no one knows whether you go to a church, mosque, synagogue, don't go at all, or don't believe at all. Nobody knows whether you are bi, gay, straight, or any flavor in between. The only way they know anything is if you tell them. You took a big risk giving us a glimpse into your world. Only dolts will judge you.

[AngeLove32]

Thank U All I know it's hard for others, but I might have it a little worse "Well Only Speakin For Self" I Accept ALL WALKS OF LIFE & I TRY IN HEART NOT TO JUDGE OTHERS, BUT SOME TIMES AS HUMANS WE TEND TO MAKE MISTAKES IN LIFE IN OUR VERY OWN PRIVATE LITTLE LIVES. I have Many People as Friends as long as U Treat ME the way U like to be Treated. Life WILL Always be a Struggle for EVERYBODY and even tho I feel the way I do about MYSELF, but I'M BIG ENOUGH TO ADMITT IT... I FIND IT INCOURAGABLE TO HAVE AS MANY HELPFUL FEED BACKS CUZ IT TEACHES ME A BETTER WAY TO ANALIZE THE GOOD WITHIN PEOPLE I THANK U ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART... ;)

[DuckiesDarling]

AngeLove, let me give you probably the most important piece of advice about this site. Simply click on a members name in the forum post and it will take you to their profile where you can add them to your ignore list. You will no longer see any posts by them and they can't contact you either by email or private messages on the site. I leave it up to you to decide if you want to ignore and who and again welcome to the site. :)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Bottom line though is that this site is not really for you. You have stated that you are Intersexed and heterosexual rather than bisexual. The mandate of this site is not for Intersexed heterosexuals. I hope that you are able to find a site specifically for people in your situation but it is not this site


Tenni, WTF??? Who are you to tell Anyone that this site isnt for them?? Since when did you turn into the Site Hall Monitor??? If Angel is comfortable here talking with us, then that's Her perogitive. Go have a cookie and go lay down before you hurt yourself.

Angel, welcome Hon.
Mean Ole Cat
Everybody's feline.

[AngeLove32]

Wow really well here's a shocker for U. ALL THESE BISEXUAL MEN IN HERE GO FOR EITHER PUSSY COCK, TITS & ASS AND HUNNIE I DO HAVE 3 OF OUT OF THE FOUR SO WHAT'S THE BIG DAMN DEAL HERE??? IS IT JUST BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO NOR WOULD I EVER LIKE TO EAT PUSSY COME ON NOW THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS, SERIOUSLY CUZ IT AIN'T THAT DEEP. I'M INCHARGE OF MAKING MY OWN DECISIONS IN ANY KIND OF SITUATION. I'M BEAUTIFUL & THICKER THAN SOME SO STOP HATIN UR JUST MAKING A FULL TIME JOB FOR URESELVES & IF U KEEP ON HATTING UR JUST GONNA PUMP UP MY EGO Hahaha!!! U CAN HATE ME OR LOVE ME ALL U WANT, BUT EITHER WAY UR ALWAYS GONNA THINK OF ME SO TAKE A SEAT & WAIT WITH THE REST OF THEM FOR ME TO GIVE A DAMN CUZ I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE... O and btw LOOK at my pix and Weap Hahahaha

[elian]

That seems to be the way that Tenni says hello to all of the new members Angel, I wouldn't take it personally because a lot of folks can EMPATHIZE with your situation even if we aren't EXACTLY the same.

I happen to know that if you are interested in straight or bisexual men that there is probably at least more than one bisexual man on here who would love to get to know you although I don't know how many from your state are actually here. We have also given general advice on coming out in relationships before and there is more than one TG person on here who may be able to offer some advice as well.

<hugs>

[AngeLove32]

Well ThNx A bunch ;)

[want2havefun]

Welcome Angel.
As a medical professional I have cared for others like you.
I find that often people 'blessed' as you are uncomfortable with sharing their secret. Given some of the reactions out in the world one can hardly blame them.
I would also like to add to what others said, ignore those who do not support you and do not let their ignorant words invade your head. Your genitals do not define you as a person. You are whoever you are regardless of what is present down there. Also, remember this, if we were living centuries ago you would be worshiped as a deity by everyone here. :)
Even to this day in some cultures remnants of that remain.
So next time someone misunderstands you just remember, there is nothing you have done wrong, you are what you are and anyone that cares for you will happily accept that....and everything about you.

Have a nice day!

[csrakate]

Angelove, just a friendly request....please stop with the all caps. It gives the impression that you are yelling....and even if you are, you don't need to....we can hear you! LOL!

[AngeLove32]

Ok Sorry for that yes I was pissed l.O.l. Well ThNk U guys & Yes I am So RU Intersexed as well???

[csrakate]

I'm confused...are you asking ME if I am intersexed? The answer is no. Perhaps you were confused by my quote....that is just a statement on my profile....a favorite quote.

[lost1]

Hmm well I didnt read every post on this thread, but I think SHE came to the right place, we all have are differencs, probs, being accepted, for are way of life, dont matter, st, bi gay, what ever, ive talked to her personaly, shes more of woman then the last woman I was with....i hope to get to no her better...

[AngeLove32]

O ok Hun l.O.l and ThNk U so much yes I do like UR Quote ;)

[Dj019]

No worries there are some bi men out there that wouldn't mind being with a person who has the mind set of a women, the body to go with it, and half the feature of a women. Still being able to pleasure and spice up the sex life in the way you can. Be patient. The hardest part is where to start and you seem to be on the right track.

[AngeLove32]

AWWW Well ThNx HuNNie ;)

[mikey3000]

Hiya Angel and welcome.

Can I ask a dumb question? Does intersexed mean born with both male and female genetalia? I understand the difference between intersexed and transgendered (of which you say you are not) and that you are living your life as a woman. But then your profile says you are a transgendered male with a male partner? I'm confused.

Cheers.

[Annika L]

Hiya Angel and welcome.

Can I ask a dumb question? Does intersexed mean born with both male and female genetalia? I understand the difference between intersexed and transgendered (of which you say you are not) and that you are living your life as a woman. But then your profile says you are a transgendered male with a male partner? I'm confused.

Cheers.

Thanks Mikey...I had a similar confusion over the profile, but hadn't really formulated it into a question.

[mikey3000]

Thanks Mikey...I had a similar confusion over the profile, but hadn't really formulated it into a question.
:bigrin: I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm good at knowing what I don't know and finding out stuff. Cheers!

[elian]

There be no category for "intersexed" in the list right? "TG" may be the closest she could get. Whether she lists her sex as transgendered or not is her own prerogative. Profile seems clear enough to me.

[mikey3000]

Quoting directly from her first post...


I am NOT a transexual by any means. I live my life as a Female... I like to give them the opportunity to get to know the real me instead of telling them upfront and center before they miss judge me and mistaken me for a transexual individual.

While her profile claims a male and transgendered. Why not select female? Just wanted a little clarification to understand her better. Dats all. No judgement here.

[Dead Account]

In any case, welcome to the forum, weze some friendly folk, being that all of us have felt odd and not of this world a time or two. I can't personally relate to what youve been through, but you did it right by opening up your introduction with honesty and trust. I say that's a hell of a good start, Angel!

[DrBimind]

Just thought I say welcome as well girl...a lot of good advice from a lot of good folks here but as anywhere, there's always someone who thinks their opinion is the only one that counts...jeesh...my only addition to the advice and thoughts others have stated so well is...the brain is the largest sex organ in the body. Enjoy yours as for us all, you are unique as any of us here. Enjoy the site Drew set up for anyone and everyone interested in bisexuality.:cool:

[pepperjack]

I am 32 NOT the average 32 year old person. I was born Intersexed with an extra chromosome. I know that this is a Bi Chat I figured I should give this a try. My condition is alot deeper than a gay issue. I am caught between both worlds. I am NOT a transexual by any means. I live my life as a Female. I don't nor am I attracted to females or gay males what so ever. I perfer a straight man or a Bi man. It's hard for me that these men like me with liking them back then I must explain my condition when the plot thickens. It's never easy when or where to expain the condition I have to others that sees a perfectly normal female. I like to give them the opportunity to get to know the real me instead of telling them upfront and center before they miss judge me and mistaken me for a transexual individual. I am trying to just live my life as normal as possible so I can stay sane to live through the day one day at a time. There isn't a better way for me to tell my shameful secret just the anticipation it's self to know if your gonna get rejected, humiliated, hurt or wind up dead for that matter is killing me.
I don't wanna be another tragic victim because I meet the wrong person, but I just wanna live
my life without struggling and NOT living utterly alone. So am I making the right decisions or am I playing with the fire???
Don't completely understand your affliction, but you've touched my heart.

[AngeLove32]

Ok let me ClEARIFY Things. I didn't know what2 put since there isn't a Catagory4 Intersexed. I didn't chose to say Female then Xplain cuz I am NOT interested In Females and I'd figured that Bi Men would Speak2 me more if I'd mentioned Male witch U can Clearly C the difference. I Am A Heterosexual Intersexed Female, but because I do have a penis Straight & Most Bi Boys Pass me up I'm jus trying2 B honest with my Sexuallity. I lOve Sex & People & I don't judge either.

[AngeLove32]

Intersexed is a medical condition like a True Hermaphrodite, but Unlike a Transexual Female. I was Born with Fallopian Tubes & Ovaries with out Eggs so I had2 have a Partial Hysterectomy to remove them other wise they would deteriate & turn into Cancer & I could have died @ an early age. With out my Female Organs I had2 B placed on Estorgen to develop my Breast, Hips & Thighs. I wasn't Born with a Cervix, Uterus or a Vagina & NO Testicles either. However I was born with a Penis. I also was Born with a Female Chromosome called Xxy. I can still get hard & I have the Feeling, but I can not Cum cuz of lack of Testicles. I CAN NOT get a Female pregnant or B pregnant either. I can only have Anal Sex & 69. I would lOve2 have SRS, but I need2 come up with $20,000 which I do NOT Posses. Any other questions???

[DrBimind]

Just gotta say what a brave, intelligent person you are. To answer everyone's curiosity about the most private aspects of yourself with such clear, honest and informative answers makes proud for you. Hope you get everything you want and whether or not, you'll still be true to yourself. C'ya

Doc

[AngeLove32]

O well ThNk U Doc I Appreciate that & yes Always will ;)

[elian]

Yes, thanks for answering Angel - I can better understand your concern.

Hopefully some day you will find a loving, understanding bisexual man with the right mix of chemistry between you .. I say that because I'm not sure how many truly 100% straight guys want a penis but if you identify as female I can understand why you would be attracted to them...hopefully a more mature guy would be able to understand what you are telling them.

There are definately a percentage of males who enjoy both penis and breasts..Thank goodness for us that the world really ISN'T all black OR white but rather many shades of gray. If SRS is really what you would rather have then I hope that somehow that will be open to you, I know that it's a long ordeal and they deliberately go slow through the whole process..

I know personally I've come to accept that I love being affectionate with people, some of them very much and I can be happy with both so it really just doesn't matter to me WHAT they have between their legs if there is a genuine connection there.

[AngeLove32]

Well ThNx A Bunch ;)

[LastGent]

Well, AngelLove32, you live in Indiana? Perhaps having unusually formed genitals won't be a death sentence there. In Illinois it's a different matter. Trying to pair off with a bisexual male can have its hazards. Some of the men here are really into "shemale" porn. These women are sex toys to them, they don't consider them to be women at all, but simultaneous two-sex persons, the ultimate bisexual fantasy. So just be wary. Can any man accept the fact that you are a female, or will they just pretend to to get some novelty sex? I don't know if anyone can be so trusted anymore. If a person asks a question about a bodily function you don't have then you need to tell that person what's what with your biology in the same conversation. There must be no misunderstandings. If he does not understand and you both are interested in sex, then send a picture of your loins to him and see if he can deal with it. That way he is too far away to do you any harm during the initial shock.

[AngeLove32]

Wow I Neva thought about doing that what so eva. I will start2 use UR Advice ThNx a bunch. Most of the Men I Date is Heterosexual. It's hard4 me2 find Bi Men around here. If I go2 1 of the local Gay Clubs what R the Chances of a Bi Man picking ME up cuz I look like A Female so they will think that I'm either a Lipstick Lesbian or Bi. They R Only there2 pick up other Guys. Bi Men won't go2 a Straight Club or a Bar2 pick up Men Right??? If they Perfer Women they will go pick up them @ a Straight Club or Bar so I'm Hit. Well I have had that unlucky encounter with Straight Boys who Pretended they Accepted All of ME jus2 get Sum Ass which made me feel like I was All Female cuz Alot of Men Treat Women as jus a Sex Object & a Piece of Meat which Sickens ME2 NO End. I jus felt like1 of the girls. U get Fucked & they don't call U with in the next3 days. So sad, but So Very Soon. I even asked Both of them if it's Only gonna B a 1 time thang & they Both told ME well I Hope NOT so go figure :(.

[irsh76]

Angel

I truly like your philosophy of be who you are and i support you 110%. I person like me who is only curious and confused about who they really are would welcome the chance do be with someone like you. For me i have only recently found out that i like things in alternative ways but am not sure what all i like. It's the men and women like you who help people like me figure this out. you have my support and i have you back if you need it