Bisex.com, just another hook-up site?? [Archive]

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Oct 5, 2011, 3:34 AM

Riiight. A young man contacted me yesterday asking about my profile. So you dont want sex on a site that clearly just another hook up site. So what are you looking for?? Someone to watch, direct, or just need someone to talk for? You dont want to cyber, you dont want someone starting up sex talk with you. If you arent looking for sex then what the fuck are you here for...?"

I laughed at this. Obviously he hasnt the maturity to know that not Everyone here is looking for sex, or a sexual conquest. I'm a Swinger, If I want sex, its readily available to me. I just choose right now with this medical condition to not actively persue it, real or cybering. I had in the past, but that was then, not Now. All cybering does for me nowdays is hones my erotic writing skillz...lol
I dont consider this a meat market or Hook Up Site. That triviaizes and cheapens this place, and it doesnt deserve that. If someone wants to hook up, there's a thousand other sites to do it on. Hope he finds it.
I wish him well and hope this answers his question. If not. Oh well..:bigrin:
Mean old menopausal Cat..lol

Long Duck Dong

Oct 5, 2011, 4:01 AM

there have been a few times why I have been asked why do I hang with my LGBT friends if I do not wanna have sex with them or other people.... and my answer has always been, cos we are here for our enjoyment, not your pleasure.....

its the same thing with this site, I am not here to hook up, cyber etc.... I am here cos I am part of a community, and cos I can share my experiences with my life and it may well help many others.... and that, is what makes me valuable, in the same way that so many others are valuable to me.......

oh yeah... i am here to give the site trolls somebody to pick on....I accidently ticked the * do you wanna be a target for the trolls * box...

keefer201

Oct 5, 2011, 4:17 AM

I've only recently joined this site and so far I find it fantastic. The people I've chatted with have been nothing but nice peeps. However, I did not come to this site by accident; I am a bisexual male and thus I enjoy the company of like minded men and in some cases women. If by some chance I hit it off with someone and we want to explore this side of our sexuality then this is the place I feel very comfortable coming to.

EastCoastKelly

Oct 5, 2011, 5:15 AM

I'm here because I'm trying to understand bisexuality. I've actually learned so much about bisexuality from participating in this forum and reading threads from the past!

There have been times that I've logged in here and felt that this was a hook up place but I keep coming back because I do find enough here that usually walk away with a bit more understanding than what I came here with.

I opened chat once, before I realized that it was for hooking up/sex chat and I feel sorry for the guy that chatted me :tong:. He was polite though and answered my questions but I did feel bad and I haven't logged into chat since.

12voltman59

Oct 5, 2011, 8:17 AM

Sadly--I think that many of those who do come to this site----come thinking its just another site like Adult Friend Finder, BiCupid and the sites more geared towards guys only seeking hook ups with other guys like Squirt.org or the many others of that type out there.

Those sites are fine----they have their purpose--but such visitors don't seem to get it that this site is not really about the pure "hook up" and that it is a place that people come to, where they can find a virtual community that has some sort of an interest in "bisexuality" with many people coming to explore their "bisexual curiosity" in a "safer" place that is not just geared to "hook ups" and such or someone has a partner who is expressing his or her interest in bisexuality and they are trying to figure out what what their partner is going through--things of that nature.

I don't think that for those people who are here simply for the sex side only----just don't get it that people have an interest in something other than "just sex."

I guess we do have to get used to it---that we get nidjets like that---it just "comes with the territory" and just accept that we are going to have a certain number of those like that.

Sad to say---it is some of those types who get mad that we are about something else other than just sex and some of those guys become our "trolls."

Of course---if someone is like that---it is clear that they are unbalanced and are not anyone you would want to have a sexual or pretty much any other sort of relationship with.

Jobelorocks

Oct 5, 2011, 9:38 AM

I am not here to hook up either. Even though my husband and I are swingers, we are looking to limit our sexual partners and have all the "friends" we want at the moment. I still get plenty of people in chat or emails that try to get me to meet up with them even though my profile says that I won't do that. Then some of these people get pissed off that I won't. It is rather annoying that some people don't realize that I am really just here to talk to other bisexual people about bisexual issues. :bipride:

Dead Account

Oct 5, 2011, 9:49 AM

Ditto on all posts. I'm here to learn and be real with who I am. Because of some "other" groups I am a part of in real life, I have to check my motives at the door and be real with people. I used to be a guy you couldn't trust because of that and that's not something I'm proud of. But I am proud if who I am today and I want it to stay that way. I cannot allow myself to hurt another person no matter what, but there was a time that I didn't care. I do now and I won't go back to who I was, a self centered human being. So if I don't always respond to some PMs, it's because I am able to tell where peoe are coming from, especially if they're anything like I used to be. I want only what's best for people. Not to indulge their fantasies and false realities.

BiDaveDtown

Oct 5, 2011, 12:26 PM

Given the number of private messages and emails I have gotten from other men, women, and couples looking to hook up despite how it says in my profile that my wife and I are monogamous and not looking for sex with anyone else at all this site might as well be a hook up site.

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Oct 5, 2011, 7:48 PM

I opened chat once, before I realized that it was for hooking up/sex chat and I feel sorry for the guy that chatted me

I'm kinda confused about this statement, Kelly...Since when did our chat turn into a sex chat room? Damn, I Have been out of the loop for a while...lol. Chat for me was a way to kick back after a long hard day to laugh, cut up, and leave the rest of the mundane world alone for a while. Yes, I got some dingbats that wanted to cyber, but that was easily taken care of. It just got to the point where everytime I came into chat I couldnt keep up with the conversation because I had so many people all wanting to talk to me at Once. I'm not saying this to sound concieted, thats just how it used to be. It got to where I couldnt keep up with the topics on the board.

I always got a kick out of the one's who'd say, "So you're a Bisexual huh?"
Uhmmm, well, look where'yer at, Bubba....lol Just because I am doesnt mean I wanna talk about it to strangers that I dont know; just for their own fapping pleasures...LOL

My dear friend Show keeps asking me to pop back into chat...I may one of these days. Ya never know...;) If I find out it has turned into Just a sex chat, I'll fade out again. I'm hoping to see some of my old friends there and to share a cooler full of goodies, and to be able to pass the never ending variety of cookies/ cakes and brownies tray once more...lol
Ya'll be good to yourselves.:cool:
Cat..

**Peg**

Oct 6, 2011, 11:19 AM

I opened chat once, before I realized that it was for hooking up/sex chat and I feel sorry for the guy that chatted me

...If I find out it has turned into Just a sex chat, I'll fade out again.
Cat..

Cat, Kelly joined just 3 months ago, she must have hit the chatroom on "sex night" (and I must have been absent that day)! The only change recently is that we've lost more of our old friends :(

Peg

EastCoastKelly

Oct 6, 2011, 11:49 AM

Brian

Oct 6, 2011, 12:43 PM

Diva667

Oct 6, 2011, 1:41 PM

Well we do have the main , bedroom and living-room chat rooms already so I don't see any problem with chat. Even though you get some people who feel that they can just PM you without any sort of permission, those types will always be around, especially where people are talking around adult topics.

FWIW I've never had any trouble ignoring those who are so rude as to contact me without asking first.

:2cents:

ErosUrge

Oct 6, 2011, 1:51 PM

Maybe I need to divide up the chat space into "general chat" and "adult chat" or something like that?

Bisexual.com is intended to be both a bisexual resource/discussion site and bisexual personal ads, with the method for designating which intention being whether you have a personal ad enabled or not. But maybe the chat somehow needs a similar division or another way of designating one's purpose for being there.

Yes Drew, that might be the best way to go about things. When I've been in chat, discussions varied. Some of them have been incredible with lots of intelligence and understanding and some very playful and in good fun. But there are the occasional interruptions of certain people looking to hook-up and sending endless messages suggesting getting together to play either in person or by cyber. I'm not against that, but not when I'm in the general chat room. I'm not sure this could be remedied by having a separate adult chat, but it might take a good portion of those who are primarily looking to hook up out of the general chat room.

This site has never been just another hook-up site and the integrity of it I know is in good hands with you. Thank you.

Jobelorocks

Oct 6, 2011, 4:08 PM

Maybe I need to divide up the chat space into "general chat" and "adult chat" or something like that?

Bisexual.com is intended to be both a bisexual resource/discussion site and bisexual personal ads, with the method for designating which intention being whether you have a personal ad enabled or not. But maybe the chat somehow needs a similar division or another way of designating one's purpose for being there.

Actually originally I did not have any ad and I was being bombarded by pm's trying to get me to give out personal info or to meet up with people in person. I decided to make an ad that explains that is not why I am here to help limit that, and it has actually helped significantly. I still get people hitting on me, mostly in chat even after I turned them down. So I guess blocking will be key to help prevent that.

keefer201

Oct 6, 2011, 7:53 PM

Maybe, just maybe, a few of you should stop whining about who "hits" on you. Just a suggestion.

Dead Account

Oct 6, 2011, 8:19 PM

Maybe, just maybe, a few of you should stop whining about who "hits" on you. Just a suggestion.

I believe people will choose to be who they want to be and choose whether or not to like something, with or without your unsolicited input.

hgf33

Oct 6, 2011, 10:29 PM

I'm trying to figure out how people come to this site, thinking it's a hook-up site, after seeing the cartoony logo at the top of the screen. :tongue:

I like that this site is not a hook-up site, but that it can be if you choose. This is why it's best to have a well-written profile, stating what you do or don't want. I've never had anyone "hit" on me without being totally respectful of my wishes. If someone is going to be a jerk about it, or try to push your limits, then they're a douche, plain and simple. Calmly tell them where to stick it and move on. I mean that as politely as possible, with a smile on my face. :bigrin:

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Oct 6, 2011, 10:58 PM

I wanted to make a clarification because a man that contacted me thought that this thread was aimed at Him. It was not. I posted a comment that I recieved from a young man that was very similar to this gentleman's inquery. He took it personal when it wasnt meant to sound like I used him as an example. So if he felt I did, then I assure him that it wasnt intentional. My apologies, but I get questions like that all of the time.

1. Why dont you like to cyber?
2. Why are you on a site that is only designed for a quick fuck?
3. How cum you dont wanna twk to me bout u likeing to eat puzzyy likIdu?
4. Wanna tell me over the phone about your bi experiances?
5. Have you ever pegged a man in the ass for money?
And a million other lame assed questions.

So now you see One reason I dont frequent chat anymore...outside of the fact that I cant keep up with the board anymore.

So if you thought this was aimed at You, then sorry you took it that'a way. Happy Trails.
Cat

DuckiesDarling

Oct 6, 2011, 11:43 PM

The chat splitting, I don't know if it would work or not. Right now people mostly hang in main to do all sorts of talking, some head to the obviously designated sexual rooms. Occasionally you will have a few who will pm, for the most part a simple, "Sorry I don't pm" or "Please ask before you just pm" seems to do the trick...at least for that session. But it's usually the same couple of people that do it all the time to the point that a few have even disabled pms in chat.

So really, unless you want a moderator in chat (not something I want or recommend on an adult site) then splitting chat won't work, because people are people and they will do lots of things in a room that were never intended.

Wrenn

Oct 7, 2011, 1:39 PM

I don't think splitting chat anymore than it already is will make much, if any, difference. I have no trouble ignoring the unwanted PMs. I just disable the pop up of seperate PM windows when I come in each time. And I use the ignore button when neccessary.

Jobelorocks

Oct 7, 2011, 3:18 PM

Maybe, just maybe, a few of you should stop whining about who "hits" on you. Just a suggestion.

What I don't like is that I am very clear on my profile about the subject and people totally ignore it. Generally the peoples attitudes is that somehow they are so great that even thought you aren't looking to hook up with anyone one on this site, they can somehow still get you to hook up. I don't appreciate people being disrespectful to my wishes.

MidMichCouple

Oct 7, 2011, 3:58 PM

I find there is a lot more to this site than just a "hook up" site. There's quite a lot of information, there's real information discussed in forums and some very good people that I've become good friends with. I get annoyed with the random messages from people I don't know asking "do you wanna cam?", I'm gonna be thru that way this weekend do you wanna meet up?", or my favorite "would you care to meet at a rest area on I75 for a while tonight?". I think there are a lot of people here who open profiles, look at the pics and send messages based on those without bothering to read the profile. It says right on our profile that being friends with anyone we decide to have a relationship with is a priority and we're not into one night stands or bed hopping. There are a lot of good people on this site and I've appreciated chatting with and talking with several of them. If I or my wife meet someone on here that we decide to be physical with I guess that's a bonus but for the most part it's to be surrounded by like minded people without worry of being judged.