Dear Abby, I'm concerned my husband is bisexual!

[glantern954]

So why do you think she is concerned? This sounds like she assumes that bisexuals are cheaters to me.


Link: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/3897600.html
Source: www.dearabby.com
Date: May 25th 2006


Dear Abby:

My husband is a college professor. His department wanted the faculty
to have Web pages with a "personal" touch, so they ordered each
faculty member to have a photograph taken to post on their page. If
they chose not to display their own pictures, they could post a
picture of something they like or that represents their particular
field of study.

My husband decided to post a picture of Michelangelo's David on his
Web page. My husband does not teach anything remotely tied to the
David, Michelangelo, art, Italy, Renaissance history, etc. The
closest he comes to it is he teaches summer school in Europe.

I guess my biggest concern is that my husband might be bisexual. I
can't imagine any other reason why a normal heterosexual man would
have this picture "represent" himself.

Can you please give me your thoughts on this?

WORRIED WIFE

Dear Worried:

You didn't mention your husband's reasons for posting the picture,
so I can't evaluate whether they make sense to me. Because his
school had no objection to his selection of artwork, I'd say you are
overreacting.

Michelangelo's David represents the ideal of perfection in the male
physique. Perhaps your husband chose that image because he wishes
that's the way he looked — or not.

www.DearAbby.com

[Rainahblue]

How silly! What does the famous "David" statue have to do with being bi? That's only one of the most well-known works of art in the world, for Pete's sake. I think the wifey is being a bit paranoid. :rolleyes:

[Mrs.F]

There has to be other issues going on for her to just "all of a sudden" feel that her husband may be "bisexual" due to a picture that he picked to represent himself and if he is bisexual, what is Abby going to do about it? I think that maybe instead of writing to "Dear Abby" and asking a complete stranger if this makes him bisexual is just plain silly. If she thinks he might be, then why doesn't she ask/talk to him about it. And Abby may be right in saying that her husband just wants to physically look better.


Mrs.F :)

[JohnnyV]

I agree w/ Mrs. F. Ask him yourself!

J

[arana]

This woman may have other reasons to suspect her husband of being bisexual but she sure picked a lame ass one to write Dear Abby about. And why did she pick bi rather than a closet gay?

[jedinudist]

One more reason I have never liked anything that woman or her sister have had to say. This looks like paranioa on the wife's part unless the husband is giving her other reasons to suspect that he is bisexual. If so, she should have focussed on them instead of him using a photo of what is arguably the most well known work of art in the world.

[citystyleguy]

good heavens, why is she asking dear abby? ask the hubby! and as an earlier post says, what the hell does the statue of David have to do with being a bisexual? methinks there is more than what is mentioned in the query!!!

and then why the "concerned" emphasis; this person needs some definite enlightenment!

citystyleguy

[charmed_goddess87]

Wow....i about fell out the chair laughin lol, how can someone be such an idiot?!?! lol

[wanderingrichard]

O Gesu Cristo! what a dense, misguided woman this one is! like everyone else, i think she has deeper problems and suspicions. wonder where she got such a skewed association to that particular statue and bisexuality from?

and, yeah, dear abby and her sister would be the absolute last place i'd go to for help on this one.

wonder if she thinks Fraser Crain is a real person too?

[CountryLover]

Well, it's pretty common knowledge that Michaelangelo was bi/gay. He's a favorite talisman for a lot of gay men.

As for Dear Abby/Ann Landers, both have proven to be VERY gay (and by extension) bi friendly. I'm not going to say they were infallible by any means, but they were some of the very first public figures to speak out for us.

Concerning the woman writing in, she is probably too afraid to face him, and this was the only anonymous way she could think of to address the question. Afraid because once she KNOWS, she might feel like she has to DO something about it. It takes a lot of relationship and personal courage to face these kind of questions, especially if they're foreign to your upbringing and beliefs.

[JohnnyV]

Concerning the woman writing in, she is probably too afraid to face him, and this was the only anonymous way she could think of to address the question. Afraid because once she KNOWS, she might feel like she has to DO something about it. It takes a lot of relationship and personal courage to face these kind of questions, especially if they're foreign to your upbringing and beliefs.


Country Lover,

You may be on to something. As an academic, I can attest to the fact that many male professors like to marry women less educated than themselves. It's like a daily ego boost to be told, "gee, you're soooo smart," by a giggling and perky woman who lacks the ability to challenge you. (In my case, I married a tough-as-nails woman more educated than myself, who doesn't coddle me at all....) This urge for self-aggrandizement is part of the reason for so many male professors leaving wives their own age to take up with their graduate students too!

The woman who wrote in to Abby may be one half of such an imbalanced coupling. Maybe she feels over her head all the time around her husband, and maybe her husband has been exploiting her naivete for so long that now she feels paranoid, even panicked, around anything that smacks of complication.

That could explain her irrational response.

J

[wanderingrichard]

johnny, country,
yeah i think johnny may have hit it pretty close to center. i had thot that too . guess i didnt elucidate my perspective properly.

[Eddie altamonte]

"Oh God" my husband may be an evil perverted demented Bi-sexual what is a wife to do?"...2 things: 1) Shutup! 2) Growup!

[CountryLover]

I think y'all missed my point entirely concerning how the woman might feel. JohnnyV, you do have a different perspective too.

However, I was coming at it from a more personal level I guess. If she's had other indications, and this was kind of a crowning blow, so to speak, ....she's dealing with completely revising her view of her husband and her marriage.

Even if she's bi/gay friendly, that can be a big step. If he's been less than attentive, distant or secretive.....she's been worrying about an affair, wondering what's going on.

If she confronts him, and he says yes, then she may feel she has to DO something like ask for a divorce, simply because society has put that expectation of heterosexuality and monogamy on us.

I've talked to enough wives of men who have come out to them, tried to help them deal with this shakeup in their whole life perspective, to know the fears.

Guys, I suggest y'all get a copy of "The Other Side of the Closet". I think it will help you see this delicate subject from a new perspective.

:2cents: Sara