drop out rates?

[bigbadmax]

do many people say they will meet and have an "excuse" to not turn up?

I have always turned up to meets...even if its to say "sorry it aint gonna work" rather than let them stew for a cpl of hours days etc...its damn rude not to turn up.

basically is there a percentage to look out for, or be worried about?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Happens all the time Darlin. Some people can Talk a good game, but when it comes down to it they are afraid to meet, and actually do anything...even have a cup of coffee or lunch. Sorry they were so inconsiderate to you....Hugzz
Cat

[mikey3000]

Ja, been there too man. Sucks! That's why I found myself a steady guy. No more being stood up.

[bobble]

I suspect it is a high percentage, I've experienced it. It use to really make me mad, but I've mellowed, I guess.

I suspect a lot of it has to do with folks that are still in turmoil with their identities, their guilt and fear. Thats the charitable view.

I still think it is very impolite, and a simple email, call etc. would be the preferred way to cancel, along with a simple explanation.

I know that I'd have received the message with more grace, given an explanation.

In the US, there has seemingly, to me anyway, decrease in manners and just general politeness. Sad.

[æonpax]

If you are referring to meeting people online, I've never had that happen. Even from my teens, I've adopted a strict protocol as to meeting people and the key ingredient here is time. I never rush into such things.

Even though, years ago, I had an incident once where I was to meet a female at a McDoogals...I always met in a public place. I saw the car that was described to me and out popped a guy. I bolted out the side door as we had agreed SHE would meet me. Later, I got a message from "her" saying she was tied up and sent her boyfriend...Yeah...right!

I stopped doing that kind of stuff after that incident.

[bigbadmax]

SORRY, did not mean to infer that its happenned to me...touch wood it hasnt (so far), so fingers crossed.

I was on another site, and topic came up. Just intrigues me and the "legitimate" reasons given, whether they can be believed,shrugged off or make you wanna :rolleyes: and just go :eek:

[Gearbox]

I've had to cancel because I burned my lip on a sausage roll.:bigrin:
It bleeds a little, and I don't enjoy sex without my mouth very much, so it's palm and her 5 sisters for me.:(

When making plans a few days in advance, it's not guaranteed that they'll be in a sexed up state on the date, and may cancel.
Bi-curious men with no or little experience are the most likely to cancel in my experience. I'm probably a bit scary to them.:bigrin:

@Aeonpax- Have you heard of that happening to other women?:eek:

[æonpax]

@Aeonpax- Have you heard of that happening to other women?:eek:

Yes, but most of the females I know, that meet people online for whatever, don't like to admit they've been stood up.

[FunE1]

Yep, cancelling is pretty common.

If you're lucky, they cancel early and before you go to a lot of effort. If not, they don't say anything and you sit around waiting for them.

I've had to cancel on a few occasions (once, admittedly, just for my own nervousness about the meet), but I have always cancelled well in advance and made sure that I used every available means of getting in touch with the O/P.
And, except for 1 time, I have always offered a new time to try and meet instead.

I'm willing to accept a reasonable excuse for needing to cancel, but if it happens a second time, I just figure that it's not going to work and suggest that we both move on.

[Gearbox]

Yes, but most of the females I know, that meet people online for whatever, don't like to admit they've been stood up.
No, I mean a bloke showing up instead of a woman. That's got to be more than a little alarming, and kind of dangerous. Fair enough if you were meeting a bloke, but one just turning up without letting you know?:eek:

I was telling an on-line lady friend to hookup with blokes, it's fun etc etc.
She said it isn't the same for women. I didn't give that a thought until then. (doh!).

[mikey3000]

There was a time when I had no guy friend in my life, my wife would cruise CL for guys for me. She would always short list them then ask which one I was interested in. That got a little weird so I asked her to stop.

[keefer201]

I have hooked up with at least 40 women and men via the internet and only once did the person not show up. Even that one, maybe twoo weeks later, met me at a bar and her and I had a blast. Now, those 40 or so were the ones that got through the screen, I don't put myself in a position where I take a lot of bullshit from anyone. When my former g/f and I were into swinging, not a single time did someone not show up. I believe it comes down to how we communicate with the "potentials" in our meet and greets.

[æonpax]

No, I mean a bloke showing up instead of a woman. That's got to be more than a little alarming, and kind of dangerous. Fair enough if you were meeting a bloke, but one just turning up without letting you know?:eek:

I was telling an on-line lady friend to hookup with blokes, it's fun etc etc.
She said it isn't the same for women. I didn't give that a thought until then. (doh!).

I got online in my teens, late 90's, just before AOL started their CD mail promotion. (X amount of Free Hours) Even then, there were horror stories about female/male meetings. Exercising extreme caution was/is always advised. But the pendulum swings both ways.

I've known females who play games online, with dudes. Among the few, some go about setting up meets they have no intention on showing up for. I would assume, the same games players exist in the M/M world as well.

Now as far as girl/girl meets: You can look till your eyes bug out, but there just isn't the amount of criminal behavior involved in a female meet, as there is with a guy. The level of caution one has to be aware of, in a F/F meet, to me, is substantially less. I only speak from my experience.

While I have met two great bi-couples online, I've never arranged a meet with a single male for sex. Aside from that, when I am so inclined, I look for an intangible...something called trust. Hard to find, easy to lose.

[bigbadmax]

my record so far is to be cautious.

I would rather know the person as much as I can than jump right in.

One has to be cautious as you dont want to be in physical harm with being beaten up and definately not in a sfeless sex way.....cant understand anyone playing the fools odds of unsafe sex.

A few hours of fun for the rest of your life in missery?..and im not on about marriage.

[dafydd]

it's very unlikely that someone is going to go through the effort of hooking up only to beat you up. you've got more sense worrying about what they take from you (money) and what they might leave behind (STDs).
Those too are quite common from what I've heard about, read, experienced etc.
I've rarely heard about someone arranging to meet and it ending in a beating. Murder, yes, but a beating out of uncontrollable internalised homophobic rage.... uncommon.

thankfully Craig's list killers aren't that ubiquitous. Really the ratio of them to the amount of people online looking in any one night is like an approaching shark to a bait ball of sardines. And that's a fact! A fact based round an analogy. And a really bad analogy if u ever watch those nature documentaries and know the fate of bait balls.

if someone is going to blow me out, i'd rather they do it before wash 'down there' and lug myself into town. otherwise its even worse. any hint of ambivalence and you know they only have come to see if ur attractive enough to warrant the wait of the date for the prize of a fuck.

So if anyone goes to the trouble of meeting u and *then* tells you it ain't happening.....its a bit like someone putting food in their mouth and spitting it out in front of you. I'd rather they just had ordered something or rather someone else. (see sig etc) That's also an equally bad analogy to accurately describe how i feel.

i guess i'm talking from the point of view of same-sex dating. i should imagine that for women who meet unknown men, the risk factor be considerably more.

d

[bigbadmax]

Dafydd, unless i interpret wrongly...and I hope I do........

does it mean that you have never had a meet and seen the person in the flesh and decided nope im off ....or as I intrepret, "nah im not that much into you but im here now lets f***" ?

Id rather show them the common courtesy of having a drink and saying, im sorry but it aint going to happen......

I said this to one bloke and he was so happy that i turned up, and said that it was a no go: rather than cancel with little or no time or even a genuine reason.

potential partners have feelings too, or are loose morals and a quick jump more important?

[Inglourious Basterd]

I have hooked up with at least 40 women and men via the internet....

Wow that's a lot of hook ups, what websites do you use to hook up with people?

[Seanrtn]

It has hppened to me many times, but it doesn't bother me, I understand completely. Before my first "follow-thru" I was a no show myself a few times. Funny thing, my wife has never had a "no-show" hahaha.

[Gearbox]

I've known females who play games online, with dudes. Among the few, some go about setting up meets they have no intention on showing up for. I would assume, the same games players exist in the M/M world as well.
Oh yes plenty in the m-m world. I always show up because I meet at my place.lol But I suspect some no-shows get off just by arranging meets. We exchange likes and dislikes and what will go on etc.

Once a bloke nagged to ring me because he was new&nervous.:rolleyes: I answered questions on the phone about what I do with blokes so he'd know what to expect. 10 mins in, he moaned and said he had cum Prrrrrrrrrrrr!
Yes he knew how to get really cheap phone sex calls, the clever sod!!:cool:
I keep it strictly NON sexual on the phone after that.

[keefer201]

Wow that's a lot of hook ups, what websites do you use to hook up with people?

Love that user name..lol AOL, if you can not find it there, then retire.

[keefer201]

I must say that since being here........I have a huge hankering to meet up in some foggy, ugly weather, but yet quaint, English town with two hotties. One is a blonde and the other a most dark personage. Criminey; I'm starting to really have a taste for GearBox too. :eek:

[darkeyes]

Had drinkies wiv lil blonde last nite.. pity we didnt see ya post fore we met up, Keefer babes..wotta triff giggle we cud have had... cant guarantee fog but pretty much foul weather... thats no prob... an me wud think a bloody gr8 storm as we begin the process of educatin' ya socially an politically.. an u can go 2 England ifya like.. dont live in England tho the luffly Sam for the sins of 'er mummy an daddy originates from lil village just ova the border.. think ya wud fly 'ome wiv ver hot ears cosa the bashin they got an a befuddled noggin... an mayb a lil the wiser... but do have me douts bout that 1...

..an as best me can tell.. Gearbox dusn live in England eitha... o wotta lonely guy ya wud b in that quaint lil town in the south...;)

[bigbadmax]

Keefer,

Gearbox is in Wales, the home of choirs,semi professional rugby, tepid beer and of course, world renowned for sheep shagging. :tongue:

On the upside its where they film Dr Who, Torchwood and dolphins swimming in the bay.

what's criminey by the way?

[Gearbox]

Come on now Bigbadmax! You missed out Tom Jones, Charlot Church and Shaking Stevens!

We fuck them as well!:tongue:

[bigbadmax]

Come on now Bigbadmax! You missed out Tom Jones, Charlot Church and Shaking Stevens!

We fuck them as well!:tongue:

shekey n tom are bit old...would be toy boy for tom if i had 1% left to me in his will though.

mmmm charlotte...not sure a bit feisty and prone to putting on the pounds but again 1% in her will in ill be her bitch, even though im a top lol

[darkeyes]

Come on now Bigbadmax! You missed out Tom Jones, Charlot Church and Shaking Stevens!

We fuck them as well!:tongue:

ahhh Lynne from Swansea.. were r ya now...:bigrin:

[bigbadmax]

Fran,

The totty from splotty?

[darkeyes]

Fran,

The totty from splotty?

..tumble from mumbles, Max....:tong:

[BiJoe696]

Have been stood up more by couples wanting to meet us as a couple at a public place than meetings arranged with other guys for myself only. Its happened perhaps 5% of the time when meeting other couples. I think its that the guy never tells the wife about it , who knows.

[BiJoe696]

Have been stood up more by couples wanting to meet us as a couple at a public place than meetings arranged with other guys for myself only. Its happened perhaps 5% of the time when meeting other couples. I think its that the guy never tells the wife about it , who knows.

[BiJoe696]

Have been stood up more by couples wanting to meet us as a couple at a public place than meetings arranged with other guys for myself only. Its happened perhaps 5% of the time when meeting other couples. I think its that the guy never tells the wife about it , who knows.

[bigbadmax]

..tumble from mumbles, Max....:tong:


She does have an extremely sexy voice, as does sally traffic and ms fudge lol

[cuttin2dachase]

I have swung as a couple with my 1st wife with other couples and men and have also swung solo with bi men and m/f couples after I was divorced/legally separated from both wives. As a part of a happily married swinging couple, we never cruised bars or adult bookstores, etc. to pick up people, although we did on occasion attend swing clubs. We were not lifestyle swingers. It was our naughty hobby, an occasional diversion. We used online means to contact or be contacted by likeminded people. We never met other couples or men unless there was sufficient online correspondence and a mutual comfort level/attraction established, at which time we would voice verify. For couples, we would insist on speaking with both him and her via phone to weed out the males posing as couples (and there were many!) and then decide together which couples made our 4some shortlist. For solo men, my wife would request his phone # and call him (hiding our number) to chat with him. I would, of course be listening via speaker or extension phone as my wife explained to him that I would be present and participating in any meeting with him. Quite a few men would either bolt immediately or be crossed off our mfm 3some shortlist if they requested to meet her alone or were otherwise rude, vulgar or pushy. Ironically, if some of those males posing as couples had been upfront and honest from the get go, they could have made our short list for mfm 3somes LOL. Once we made up our minds together what we were both in the mood for and which couples or men best suited our naughty desires and when & where we wanted to meet them, wife would call the couple or lucky man to arrange a 'date'. If they couldn't meet, we'd go down the list to choice #2 and so on until we'd made a 'date' and we would both eagerly anticipate it. We'd meet at a sports bar or Chili's/TGIF type restaurant/bar for dinner and/or drinks. Because of our due diligence and determination, 99% of the time we set out to swing, we ended up in bed with them/him later in the evening. We only ever had 1 no-show and it was a newbie couple whose wife had gotten cold feet. We never had a solo man to cancel or not show up LOL

As a solo unattached bi male now, I use pretty much the same techniques in meeting and making 'dates' with other bi men or m/f couples. Without the added attraction of a sexy, hot wife or gf, my solo success rate is much lower LOL I do find that many more bi men than m/f couples back out and don't call or email to cancel our 'date'. No-shows are discouraging but I'm still able to make an evening of it alone, enjoy a couple drinks & dinner at the bar and perhaps still meet an unattached woman or make new str8 friends ;) I am quite patient and prefer meeting quality people over meeting quantities of people.