I'm so confused

[jay89]

Hey to who ever reads this :)

I may not have come to the right place, so i apologise if that is the case.

I am a 22 year old woman (although i have never felt more like a lost child in my life!). Since my early teens I have been confused about my sexuality... I was a virgin until the age of 19, and then i went on to have a drunken one-night stand with a male 'friend'. Shortly after this, i went on to have a 3month relationship with a different guy. Any time that we had sex (excluding one occassion), I was drunk. However, on the one sobre occassion it felt physically good, (not mentally, but i wounder if that's just because of the confusion..?). Towards the end of that relationship i had a drunken one-night stand with another guy (i'm not even going to try and excuse my cheating because it was blatantly wrong and selfish, and i know i wouldn't like to be cheated on). Since then i have had yet another drunken one-night stand with a guy (which lead to a pregnancy and STI scare).

I have never had a relationship with a woman, but i have kissed a friend (and enjoyed it), and i always have strong emotional feelings for girls that i crush on... I can't even begin to explain how i feel but i long to be with these women, and would do any thing for them. I also used to fantasize about women alot where as i rarely fantasized about men, (these days i barely fantasize at all because i'm getting so frustrated trying to figure this out).

On a day-to-day basis I tend to notice women more, but i still find some men attractive e.g. there's this guy that i work (and flirt) with, and tbh i don't think i would say no if the oppertunity presented its self... but i'm not sure if that's because i don't want people to think that i'm gay, (for many reasons i am terrified of being gay and think it would be easier to be with a man). Having said that, i couldn't picture myself with any other men, but easily could picture myself with women.

I know that no one can give me a specific answer, but based on the information provided would you say that i am bisexual or lesbian? I know alot of people don't believe in labels, but i'm so frustrated trying to work this out and would appreciate any insight...

sorry for the long ass essay and thanks in advance, jay.

[Realist]

Welcome, Jay.

You've come to a safe place and there's many brilliant folks here, who surely will lend you a hand.

As someone said, in reply to a similar post, "Don't try to think a thing to death!" But, if you're on a self-destructive path, I hope you realize it and take a more intelligent route.

You're still in the learning stages and learning to fly. I know it sucks, but we all have to learn about ourselves, life, love, and how to be who we need to be. There never was an instruction manual issued for us, in our formative years! If I were to give you advice, it would be, just be yourself, don't allow anyone to talk you into giving up your dreams, or attempt to live your life for others.

Too much drinking, drugs.........anything that alters your mind's ability to reason, is not something I'd recommend, if you intend to stay safe and healthy!

Whatever you choose to do, good luck with that!

[Jobelorocks]

Well I will start off with a definition of bisexuality. It is a sexual and/or romantic attraction to both men and women. Only you can answer the question if you are bi or not. It sounds to me like you very well may be, but only you can know for sure. Also most bisexuals don't have an equal attraction to both genders and not necessarily attracted to both genders in the same way. For example I am a bi woman who is sexually and romantically attracted to men, while I am only sexually attracted to women.

I think you should consider giving a woman a try. If you are attracted to them romantically and physically, why not try experimenting or even being in a relationship. It may or may not help to clear things up, but it is worth a try.

One thing I must say. You need to start accepting your sexual and romantic attractions and accept yourself. It is incredibly freeing, it brings clarity, and it helps you to open yourself up to being sexually and romantically fulfilled.

[sexual26]

Only you can answer the question to whether you are bi, gay, or straight. Though there are a lot of different opinions to what being bi is. So I would suggest if you feel physicallyand emotionally attracted to women you should at least go out with a clear head and experiment with a lady then also with a clear head experiment with a guy friend then take those experiences and think about hoe they differ and whether or not you liked them.

[blugirl789]

You seem to already know the answer. lol. You can obviously meet someone online to talk with until you are comfortable putting your sexuality out there. I have to say though, it feels better to have at least told my friends and family about my bisexuality. As soon as I was honest with myself and those I held close to me, the fear of being judged dissipated. Just accepting your attraction to women might be enough versus becoming sexually involved with someone. Good luck