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View Full Version : Am I Crazy?



RavenEye
Feb 11, 2012, 2:52 PM
Hey all,

So I've been "talking" to this guy lately but I don't understand how he works (which is a first for me). It all started like 3 weeks ago. I was searching around OkCupid for possible dates and I come across this one guy. He didn't have a clear picture of what he looked like on the site. (I always look at photos before I read the bio; I know, I'm shallow.) But for some reason, I felt something. And going against the grind, I PM'ed even though I had no idea what he looked like. He messaged right back. And we talked for hours. And for some crazy reason I gave him my number. (I never do that, EVER. It's one of my rules). So then then we start texting back and forth like crazy. Then later, during this same day, we Skype each other, video style. And he was talking about how never before in his life has he ever felt a connection to someone like me. And the crazy thing was that I felt it too. Although I never told him that. For the second time in my life I felt this amazing connection towards somebody. The last time this happened I let that person go, and I don't want to repeat the same mistake twice. Anyways so we made plans for a date after I got out of work. But I sensed that he was going to cancel on me and sure enough he did. He actually cancelled on me 4 times. Anyways we go to the same school and we met and talked (with one of his friends in between us so it was kinda weird) and I felt like I could have done a better job of a first impression. But by no means did I feel like I was terrible. So then I get home and he texts me again. We talk back and forth for a while and then all of a sudden he stops texting me completely. I just assume he's busy but then two days pass and nothing (No FB or Skype) and I don't want to come off as clingy so I gave him some room. But then 3 days passed and I was worried something bad fmay have happened to him. Finally Friday came and he posted a FB status so I was relieved and hurt and the same time. I was wondering what I did wrong. Finally I sent him a text saying how much I liked him and he didn't respond til the next morning. He said "I can't date right now, I have to have time to get healthy." (I'm paraphrasing slightly) so I was like "I understand, can we at least be friends?" and he was like "Of course." so we start talking back and forth all the time again like nothing happened. Then all of a sudden he stops texting me again. So finally I was like ok I'm not going to text him this time. So a day or so passed and he texted me just saying "Hey". He does that a lot cause he know I'll hop right into some random story. But this time I gave him his own medicine and ignored him. 7 hours later and he says "Hey" again. This time and still currently all I say is "Sup." I'm trying not to be clingy but I don't want to seem distant. I like this guy a lot. I mean it would have been my (and his) first date with a guy. Because a ton of my family would denounce me if/when they ever found out about him I had to ask myself "Is this guy worth it?" and the answer was yes. My friends keep telling me to just move on. But there is just something about him. Some the universe (maybe God? I'm agnostic) is trying to show me. Am I crazy? What do you guys think? How should I approach this?

*pan*
Feb 11, 2012, 3:50 PM
well there are all sorts out there, if he really wants to date then he'll come around. just do your own thing, maybe he just needs his space to decide, maybe it's just as big a jump for him maybe bigger who knows. just be your self give him his space and let him come to you because i'm sure he know that you like him since you expressed an interest. he broke off contact with you for what ever reason, cold feet what ever. but it's in his ball park and if he's trying to decide and you keep pushing it you might make the decision for him and if he's not ready it could be disasterious for any future relationship. this is just my thoughts on it.

Gearbox
Feb 11, 2012, 4:08 PM
Sounds like you've created a fantasy version of 'Him&You', and as you know, that leads to disappointment. If you take away that idea that you were thrown together by the cosmos, you'd be left with just some bloke who pisses you about, and causes you to do the same.
I'm not saying your instincts or ideas are wrong! Just that you need to realise what is actually happening too.
IMO you'd be better off back on OkCupid looking for something better, while waiting for him to grow some.
Good luck.