Women and Orgasms

[Jobelorocks]

Did you know that only 30% of women can come to orgasm through vaginal penetration alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation. Also most women prefer oral stimulation to manual stimulation. I find that many men and women do not know these facts. I know that most of my past lovers refused to give me oral sex at all and gave very limited manual stimulation because their hands "get wet". I don't mean to sound preachy, I just hope this helps even one woman out there who is not being brought to orgasm because her partner doesn't understand the importance of clitoral stimulation.

[Moonlight_BHI]

Either men think that all cum from sex or men don't believe a woman orgasm is not real...... I've met men who are both ways.

[Jobelorocks]

I am just thankful that I am with my husband. He is really good at performing manual and oral stimulation on me.

[nutme]

I do know that facct, Jobe and it is my extreme pleasure to give a female an orgasm using my mouth. Nothing is more beautiful than a womans vagina and the taste of her is enough to drive a man wild. Knowing that she is pleased is what great sex is all about.

[Jobelorocks]

I do know that facct, Jobe and it is my extreme pleasure to give a female an orgasm using my mouth. Nothing is more beautiful than a womans vagina and the taste of her is enough to drive a man wild. Knowing that she is pleased is what great sex is all about.
Actually pretty much every guy I have been with has refused to eat me out. Actually every guy except my husband and one other man refused to perform oral sex on me. Most of my friends have had the same experience. Everyone that has gone down on me though has commented on how mild smelling and tasting my vagina is (due to good hygiene and diet of course).

[nutme]

I know plenty of men that either will not go down on a woman or just think that good sex is sticking his dick inside a woman, cumming, and then rolling off of her. These are adult men, not twenty-somethings. Maybe I'm the superhero of the bedroom, but sex should be a mini marathon of touching, kissing (lots of kissing) tasting each other individually and in the famous 69 and then after an hour or so, culminating with me cumming inside her, but only after she has been taken to the moon as many times as she is possible without actually passing out.

[Herculoid Poirot]

I love going down on women! It's a total win-win situation.

A woman once told me that many guys often wanted to go down on her before any other foreplay had started, either because they loved it or wanted to prove that they were open-minded or some such thing. The problem was, she needed to warm up before she could receive it and had to tell them to back off.

Side note: my partner was in her late thirties before she could orgasm from vaginal sex.

[darkeyes]

There are guys that won't go down on a woman.. just like there are women who won't on their guy.. I even know both bisexual and lesbian women who wont go down on man or woman and a few gay and bi guys who wont suck cock.... its life.. peeps enjoy different things when it comes to sex.. and for some giving oral is one hang up they wont do.. although did meet a few guys and a couple of women who liked it being done but wouldn't reciprocate.. never yet had sex with a woman who didn't bring me off.. whether by tongue, finger, toy or trib.. one by tootsies.. that wos fun....but she wouldn't lick.. did end up with a few guys who did their thing and left me high and dry though.. especially when a teenager.. the odd older guy too... but not too many.. and those that did never got a second shot.. only twice has a man brought me 2 orgasm through intercourse alone.. and I have never been brought off by use of a strap-on alone...

We have to accept that not everyone likes every sex act.. peeps do have likes and dislikes.. to some oral sex is dirty.. its something we have to live with.. but when it comes to sex, the main thing is that there are enough variations in lovemaking that in theory we can all enjoy to ensure good sex.. so maybe the odd one or two things aren't in a person's nookie repertoire.. no biggie.. bringing a partner off though... now that is important... but how its done is much less important than the fact that it is... and luffingly, skilfully, pleasurably and enjoyably...

[Jobelorocks]

The problem is some women can only orgasm through oral sex, some only through manual stimulation, some can only through vibrators. The problem is so many go without orgasms because their partners are just not willing to do what it takes to make them orgasm. I have had literally every guy but two that I have been sexual with refuse to do any sort of manual or oral stimulation, so with all of those who refused I did not orgasm at all. I think that many people are very selfish in the bedroom and just care if they get their rocks off. So only two men have brought me to orgasm before. Then most of them make it seem like it is your fault for not coming to orgasm. Many women are just faking their orgasms (I refuse to). Something has to change.

Check out this article.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stress-and-sex/201012/orgasms-you-cant-fake-it-till-you-make-it

[DuckiesDarling]

Yeah, Jobelorocks, something has to change, but what is the something? Is it more women communicating more clearly to partners exactly what they need? Or is it more woman saying "I won't blow you if you don't eat me?" or is it more women taking charge in the bedroom and manually stimulating themselves during sex to get what they need? I have been fairly lucky and only had a couple really sucky partners, my current partner is awesome. He took the time to make sure I came often before he even thought of ejaculating. Even now with all the distance between us our phone calls don't end til I have orgasmed and my knees are weak even if he doesn't do a thing on his end to get any relief. For him it's all about me, he gets pleasure from my pleasure. I have never faked an orgasm in my life and I never will, I try not to lie to other people so I refuse to lie to myself.

[Jobelorocks]

Yeah, Jobelorocks, something has to change, but what is the something? Is it more women communicating more clearly to partners exactly what they need? Or is it more woman saying "I won't blow you if you don't eat me?" or is it more women taking charge in the bedroom and manually stimulating themselves during sex to get what they need? I have been fairly lucky and only had a couple really sucky partners, my current partner is awesome. He took the time to make sure I came often before he even thought of ejaculating. Even now with all the distance between us our phone calls don't end til I have orgasmed and my knees are weak even if he doesn't do a thing on his end to get any relief. For him it's all about me, he gets pleasure from my pleasure. I have never faked an orgasm in my life and I never will, I try not to lie to other people so I refuse to lie to myself.

It is probably a combination of things. Women need to stop faking and communicate, but obviously in cases like mine that wasn't enough. Even though I communicated what I wanted and the fact I could not reach climax without other stimulation, I still had partners refuse. We need better education about female anatomy and how women achieve orgasms in biology and health classes. Even in my Women's health class in college, they didn't mention that most women cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone. A woman stimulating herself can't always solve the problem. Some can only achieve orgasm through oral stimulation, which most women can't do for themselves (unless they are a contortionist). Society needs to change as well. Women are expected to perform oral sex on men, but men are not expected to do so for women. Men as well as women need to not be selfish in the bedroom and be willing to compromise some as in any other situation.

For example, I don't particularly like playing the dominant role in the bedroom and I much prefer playing the submissive role. My husband also likes the submissive role and not particularly the dominant role. So both of us will "trade off" on the roles we play in order to please one another. When you are both concerned about what the other likes and wants, both are much more likely to get off.

[falcondfw]

Guys that won't go down on women have issues. I absolutely love to. It is my second most favorite thing in sex. When my girl cums because of what I did, it just makes me feel like the king of the world. And yes, jobelo, I knew the stats. Sad that only 30% can get there from penetration.

[Gearbox]

I've only had a facefull of cum once, and I couldn't wait to get soap n water on it. BUT I was never really satisfied until I get a fecefull of vaginal juices with women, or my tongue in a blokes hole. Has more to do with MY pleasure than theirs, must admit.
I expect it's the same for others too. Getting oral from someone who cringes at the thought, wouldn't be very orgasmic.

So ladies, if you want a bloke to sort it out for you, make it good for them. Suck them off or get them horny while their at it. Never call it a duty!:tongue:

[Jobelorocks]

Gear, what I am saying is most guys expect oral and to be able to cum on your face, in your mouth, on your breasts, ect. , but refuse to go down on a woman even if that is the ONLY way she can orgasm. I think that is down right selfish and oh so common. I can't tell you how many times I have encountered that attitude. If you won't go down on your partner, you shouldn't expect them to go down on you either.

[tsmvb45]

My Ex-girlfrend had a hard time cuming unless we had anal sex than she would cum every time. I know that is unsual but that was the way she was & to answer your ? we had anal sex all the time. Tom

[Long Duck Dong]

Gear, what I am saying is most guys expect oral and to be able to cum on your face, in your mouth, on your breasts, ect. , but refuse to go down on a woman even if that is the ONLY way she can orgasm. I think that is down right selfish and oh so common. I can't tell you how many times I have encountered that attitude. If you won't go down on your partner, you shouldn't expect them to go down on you either.

there have been some ladies in the past, that have made going down on them, a enjoyable experience... but I have encountered a few ladies that have no interest in anybody going down on them lol... so its not always the guys fault ...... but I do agree with you that some males think its a womans duty to give the guy a BJ and then lay there for his pleasure.... I used to work with one guy that used to boast about how his partner would * get the bash * if she dared deny him his BJ...... shame about how that 50k container *accidently * hit him in the face one day when he was doing his usual mouthing off...

in my younger days, I never saw oral on a lady as a duty, but more of a chance to work slowly on her body, seeing just how much she could take before my ears were near ripped off as she guided me to the right spots.... and there were times that I did it deliberately... cos I enjoyed the idea of a lady taking control and making sure that she really got what she deserved... a decent orgasm or 12....... and I did notice that with the ladies, they always seemed to enjoy good love making after good oral, but if there was no oral, they seemed to enjoy some passionate, intense sex...... got told a few times that the love making was like a long after play for some of the ladies....

lol for me, there has always been something very magically about making the afterplay with a lady, a experience in itself and if that means doing 3 hours of oral and having a lady fully and utterly sated and satisfied..... well then... 3 hours it is..... and I have no issues with letting her enjoy my cock for 3 hours if thats what she wants.... or if she wants to just ride my face or lay back on the sheets and pillows like a queen.... or even random spontaneous oral on the kitchen table in the afternoon...... yes, some ladies are definitely worth going down on and I am thankful for having met ladies like that in my life

[pepperjack]

I am just thankful that I am with my husband. He is really good at performing manual and oral stimulation on me.

God, this stirs memories! For one,"nooners," as we used to call them, a lunch break involving going down on the wife very abruptly & passionately during lunch; afterwards, I would return to work with the intoxicating, musky, aroma of her pussy in my 'stache for the rest of the day.
:tongue:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol There must be something Horribly wrong with me..I Adore oral sex! To give and to get. I get so carried away and euphoric in my cock sucking that I have cheated myself out of some good lovin' because once I stop, its very difficult to stop.
My Ex-husband went down on me exactly Three times in our 30 year marriage, and let me blow him Twice in all of that time. It wasnt until I left that I discovered that I had great oral skills, and I found a man that showed me what oral pleasure on Me was like. I Likes it! lol
Theres just some people who dont like oral, to get or give. Its a shame because is Vastly more fun with more and move arousal and foreplay. The more the better for me..lol
To each their own, Loves.
Cat, lickin her chops...lol

[bikiniman]

I do not understand why a man would not want to perform oral sex on a women. Its my favorite thing and I do it it almost every time I have sex with my wife.

However even with oral stimulation my wife does not achieve orgasm all that often. I have read that it takes a women allot longer to achieve orgasm than men. Can anyone shed any light on this?

[Long Duck Dong]

I do not understand why a man would not want to perform oral sex on a women. Its my favorite thing and I do it it almost every time I have sex with my wife.

However even with oral stimulation my wife does not achieve orgasm all that often. I have read that it takes a women allot longer to achieve orgasm than men. Can anyone shed any light on this?

its true, the average lady ( and I use the term average, vaguely ) is reckoned to need about 20-30 minutes of affection in order to reach a point of full sexual arousal...... and while some ladies can get wet fast, the actual sexually aroused state is still some way off..... it can be a number of reasons, since as tiredness, stress, chemical / hormonal imbalance etc...... and its why you will hear stories of ladies that have never really known sexual arousal cos the guys on, in, cum and off before the lady has had a chance to feel something close to sexual arousal......

some ladies require a change in sex and sexual activities each time in order to become aroused quicker, some ladies need a long and consistent pattern to become aroused.... its a case of learning about each lady and their own specific traits.....

while sticking our dicks in is nice,.... there are times for the ladies that a * ladies only * night is something that they can enjoy so much... and all that is, is that a male spends the night learning about the ladies wants needs and desires, without worrying about his own..... IE using tongues, fingers, toys, showers, gel, lube, massage, affection etc etc to learn about the lady and her body, her key points and response points.. and listening to the lady, allowing ourselves to be guided by her hands and voice and body language...... and the reason for that, is a lot of ladies have no idea about what they actually can and do enjoy as they only know to suck and fuck..... but there is so much more to love making than suck and fuck.... sooooo much more.....

lil hint.... take some sheer silk, cover her clit, lightly chilld the area with ice ( the silk is to protect the bare flesh, then dab a dot of meth lube on the tongue and lick her clit thru the silk.... the friction and change in temp and sensations can really be interesting for the lady... and make even the worst male at oral, into somebody that can really shine at oral....

[LeeNorCal]

If you won't go down on your partner, you shouldn't expect them to go down on you either. Hear Hear! I have always loved all forms of oral sex on both men and women, and get really turned off when I am with someone who demands it but won't return the favor. By the same token, I have no problem going down on someone even if I know they won't reciprocate. It's the demanding that turns me off.

[Gearbox]

Gear, what I am saying is most guys expect oral and to be able to cum on your face, in your mouth, on your breasts, ect. , but refuse to go down on a woman even if that is the ONLY way she can orgasm. I think that is down right selfish and oh so common. I can't tell you how many times I have encountered that attitude. If you won't go down on your partner, you shouldn't expect them to go down on you either.
I had a gf that in the 4-5 years we were together only put the tip of her tongue on the end of my foreskin once. That was it for my bj ration.lol Luckily for us both, I didn't care. Had it have been the only way I could climax, I would have done all I could to get her to like it though. If I failed to do that, I wouldn't bother with sex at all. She wasn't being selfish or spiteful, she just didn't like it.

With men I have ground rules: No kiss-no fuck! etc. Most men have ground rules and will discuss them before anything happens. Women need to do that too, or risk incompatibility and unsatisfactory sex.

[cannibal4]

I must be different because...If it's not good enough for me to eat, I aint sticking my dick in it!

[FunE1]

My Ex-girlfrend had a hard time cuming unless we had anal sex than she would cum every time. I know that is unsual but that was the way she was & to answer your ? we had anal sex all the time. Tom


Hey, Tom... do you still happen to have her phone number?

:tongue:

[FunE1]

I get that everybody has likes/dislikes, but I've never really gotten anybody not liking to perform oral (regardless of gender).

Luckily, I am a very oral person in general (talkative, chatty, etc.) and that has translated to me enjoying oral... A LOT. Recently, I've met a very bi-friendly female who is also very multi-orgasmic and she literally keeps me licking her for an hour or more at a time while she has orgasm after orgasm... There is NO WAY I could please her as much through penetration so I am happy to give her what she likes the most.

[dafydd]

Women and what?

[innaminka]

Yep - I'm one of the 70% who need "something else"
Pure penetration - although delightful, won't get me off the "plateau" I need hands-on, or tongue-on or twiddle-stick on or something.
The question of oral do or don't is a personal thing, and I certainly would not condemn a man or woman who wouldn't stick his or her face "down there." (Actually I never met anyone who didn't leap at the chance. )
:love87:

Perhaps what would irritate me is someone who took it as their sole responsibility to give me that elusive "O" and wouldn't let me help. The truth is, most of my orgasms with another person have some form of tactile input from myself. Usually I require a team effort. Again I never met anyone who wasn't prepared to let me help, so really I'm talking hypothetically.

[Hephaestion]

I know plenty of men that either will not go down on a woman or just think that good sex is sticking his dick inside a woman, cumming, and then rolling off of her.........

You forgot the obligatory fart to signify 'close of play' accompanied by muttering "Nyah, I don't want to cuddle"

[lizard-lix]

My wife has gone through several stages in the time we've been together. For the first 20 years, the only way she could cum was by oral. That was totally Ok with me as giving head is probably my most favorite thing. So we'd always start with oral to get her off then usually finish with intercourse which she really enjoyed even if she didn't cum.

After she had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, things changed, she started having orgasms vaginally for the first time, they are different than her clitoral orgasms, smaller, but there can be many of them (like half a dozen) in one go, or it can be almost continuous for a few minutes. But then she can still have a clitoral orgasm as well. We often finish by grabbing the vibrator for the last minutes of intercourse. So now I warm her up with oral (after some extended foreplay, another change over time, she needs a good while to get started), she cums a few times vaginally, then one of us grabs the hitachi and we finish together with her clitoral orgasm.

But, it is different every time, I've told her that she is like a combination lock with a new combo every time. Luckily I love lock picking :tongue:

So over time she has preferred or needed oral, vaginal and/or manual for it to work, but figuring that out is the fun part.

As for anyone who won't give head willingly, sorry for them, I am happy to because I have only met one woman and no men that didn't enjoy my ministrations and get off from me doing it, and I enjoy it as much as they do, yum!

[pepperjack]

Guys that won't go down on women have issues. I absolutely love to. It is my second most favorite thing in sex. When my girl cums because of what I did, it just makes me feel like the king of the world. And yes, jobelo, I knew the stats. Sad that only 30% can get there from penetration.

My last girlfriend was one of those "lucky" women in that 30% range. She failed to climax only once during our relationship & we were both puzzled by that. My climax would always follow hers. So,I felt a mental & emotional gratification afterwards,knowing we had both received physical satisfaction. However, try as I might, I could not make her climax orally. While her enjoyment was obvious, she would always stop me eventually and say "I'm not ready for that yet." Obviously some sort of psychological barrier there.

[Realist]

Boy, did this thread bring back memories!

When I was about 21, I was dating an older nurse. She was the most liberated and knowledgeable woman I had known at the time. When we first began having sex, she just let me do my thing. I thought I was a pretty good stud and never asked her what she wanted, or needed. For about a week, we had sex almost every night and I gave little thought about her pleasure. I guess I figured she wouldn't be with me, if she wasn't happy.

Then one night, we had sex and I came fairly quickly. Then, I pulled out and flopped over on my back.

She asked me if I would go down on her.

I said, "Hey, I just came in you!" (like, YUCK!)

She, "Listen, you didn't make me cum, so I still need to....you should make sure I get as well as I gave!"

I wasn't too interested in going down on her after sex!

She said, "You like it when I give you BJs, don't you?"

Me, "Well, YEAH!" (She was really good!)

She, "You have sucked guys off before, haven't you?....Didn't they cum in your mouth?"

I'd told her I was bi, when she told me she was, so that was no secret....yes, I had had lovers cum in my mouth.

She, "Well, you will be tasting your own cum, so you know where it came from. So, if you refuse to go down on me and give me an orgasm, you can forget about me ever sucking your cock, again!"

That gave me the incentive to reciprocate! I had to learn what she liked, too.

She was different than anyone else I'd been with, because she knew what she wanted and needed and was not going to settle for less. It didn't bother her one bit to tell me how and what she wanted. She taught me, what may thrill one person beyond words, may turn another off.

My thoughts were always that I was some kind of stud and it was up to the person I was with to cum, or not! She let me know, right then, she was not going to put up with that!

Luckily, she didn't kick me out and in time she taught me some great lessons.

Before her, I only went down on the ladies just to get what I wanted. But, after her, I learned that one of the greatest pleasure I would have, would be pleasing my partners. Her theory works as well for both genders.

Thanks Lillian, where ever you are!