PDA

View Full Version : My Story - Please help me make sense of it



anicho
Mar 26, 2012, 10:38 PM
Hi everyone,

I have just signed up here. I have never classified myself as bi-sexual but gay.. but I am starting to wonder. Please hear my story and give me your opinions and insights. First I want to say I am realising from posts here that bi-sexuality often seems complicated and not straight forward (no pun intended). After a confusing episode in my live a couple of years ago I came to the conclusion I am more homo-sexual and hetero-emotional. But.. this attitude is not getting me anywhere and it's time to move on with life. The idea floating around in my head seems so ludicrous, could I dare to live it?

A quick history: My first (oral) gay experience was with my best friend age 12.. then other boys I knew all through my teenage years.. all pretty innocent stuff, fun.. no relationship as such.. just sexual gratification. My first girl friend / straight sexual experience was age 14.. we went out for 6 months but I started to feel smothered by her.. bossy italian/greek girl (no offence).. Then over the years I would have girl friends and sleep with guys.. very very much in the closet, except my first boyfriend who I met in a Pentecostal christian church of all places aged 18.. (1 year of guilt ridden soul destroying heart tearing love and sex).

Did I enjoy having sex with girls? Yes, but I can't say I ever crave it like I do with guys. I do love being in a relationship with a girl though.. it just fits and works so much better. Makes me happier.

At age 26 I finally came out gay and moved to Sydney. I had 2 boyfriends within the first couple of years. The second one lasting for 18 months. Then nothing for a loooooong time.. just the odd affair here and there (guys only.. no girls).

Age 34 I meet this absolutely stunning girl and fell in love. The most in love I have every been in my life. She knew I was gay.. we talked about it and hung out together thick as thieves for 9 month. It was pretty much a platonic relationship riddled with drunken nights of crying 'oh why am I gay.. I love you (cringe)'. We decided to give it a go and get together. We talked about my sexuality and I told her the day would come I will want / need to be with a man.. her attitude was open, we would deal with it when the day came. The sex was great, passionate, we where so so happy for about a year (when there where strains in the relationship and also my cravings to be with a guy came back with a vengeance. Our relationship had changed so much by then I didn't feel I could talk to her about it. She became very threatened and insecure about my sexuality once we where together and wanted very much her 'hetro dream boat'.

Long story short I broke it off and fell into a tail spin for about 2 years not being able to make sense of my emotions. I am now 41 and haven't been in a relationship since.

The wired thing is I seem to be more fascinated with women, I adore them, I get very protective and loving with them, I notice them, I know exactly what my type is.. but I also need the nurturing touch of a man and love cock! I think I need both.. not one or the other. Other things on my mind is I would love a family..children. But I would want to raise them myself not be a donor. I also don't believe in surrogacy for ethical reasons.

So my outrageous idea.. the scenario I am starting to thing would suit me personally the best would be to be in an equally polygamous relationship with a guy and a girl!..

Any thoughts / insights / ideas are deeply appreciated.

Long Duck Dong
Mar 26, 2012, 10:58 PM
a friend once refered to bisexuality as being a boat in the middle of the ocean enduring storms and calm periods, then when you sail into a port of call, all the lady lubbers argue over what such of boat you have and how best to sail it.....

based around your post, I would say that you are a hybrid cross between a luxury yacht, a row boat, a tug boat, a tanker and a lil boat in a bath lol

ok time to be serious, what you talk about is something that yes, can be bisexual in a emotional / mental / psychical sense.... and like a number of bisexual people, its not as stable as you would like it to be, so you come across as the type of person with the sexuality that is more fluid and shifting based around the person that you are connecting with, more than a sexuality tat shifts according to sex attraction and gender attraction.......

its not much different to a person that is happily married for 20 years, then one day, runs into a person that really blows their mind and has them questioning everything about themselves..... and that actually makes it harder on you, more than easier...

you come across as a person with a non sexual nurturing aspect towards the ladies, which is not that uncommon in some males that are gay or gay /bi... hence the saying that some gay males can make the best partners cos they are so sensitive, caring and loving..... but that aspect is not sexuality related, its a personality aspect of people

couple that aspect of you, in a poly relationship and I would be inclined to say that yes, you may be some couples dream partner in a poly relationship, and I base that around the naturing aspect and the way you interacted with your female friend but you also enjoy the company of males in a emotional / romantic aspect.... and something tells me that you would become like a polished diamond in a poly relationship......

so, I hope that you and the right couple make contact soon and things work out

Herculoid Poirot
Mar 26, 2012, 11:09 PM
I don't think that what you're looking for is impossible, outrageous or ridiculous. It will be a challenge. I sound like a broken record, but I recommend this great book on open relationships. It gives some great advice but is also very grounded in reality.

http://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Creating-Sustaining-Relationships/dp/157344295X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332814104&sr=8-1

anicho
Mar 26, 2012, 11:29 PM
Thank you for your post. If I could get everything from one sex I would prefer it, but the thing is that I forgot to mention.. I don't fall in love with Men. Not emotionally really. I have love for them, but falling in love, having your heart jump every time you see them.. that I have more with women. Pure sexual raunch.. more with men. I'll just have to go out there and explore!

anicho
Mar 26, 2012, 11:30 PM
Thank you for your post. If I could get everything from one sex I would prefer it, but the thing is that I forgot to mention.. I don't fall in love with Men. Not emotionally really. I have love for them, but falling in love, having your heart jump every time you see them.. that I have more with women. Pure sexual raunch.. more with men. I'll just have to go out there and explore!


a friend once refered to bisexuality as being a boat in the middle of the ocean enduring storms and calm periods, then when you sail into a port of call, all the lady lubbers argue over what such of boat you have and how best to sail it.....

based around your post, I would say that you are a hybrid cross between a luxury yacht, a row boat, a tug boat, a tanker and a lil boat in a bath lol

ok time to be serious, what you talk about is something that yes, can be bisexual in a emotional / mental / psychical sense.... and like a number of bisexual people, its not as stable as you would like it to be, so you come across as the type of person with the sexuality that is more fluid and shifting based around the person that you are connecting with, more than a sexuality tat shifts according to sex attraction and gender attraction.......

its not much different to a person that is happily married for 20 years, then one day, runs into a person that really blows their mind and has them questioning everything about themselves..... and that actually makes it harder on you, more than easier...

you come across as a person with a non sexual nurturing aspect towards the ladies, which is not that uncommon in some males that are gay or gay /bi... hence the saying that some gay males can make the best partners cos they are so sensitive, caring and loving..... but that aspect is not sexuality related, its a personality aspect of people

couple that aspect of you, in a poly relationship and I would be inclined to say that yes, you may be some couples dream partner in a poly relationship, and I base that around the naturing aspect and the way you interacted with your female friend but you also enjoy the company of males in a emotional / romantic aspect.... and something tells me that you would become like a polished diamond in a poly relationship......

so, I hope that you and the right couple make contact soon and things work out

Long Duck Dong
Mar 26, 2012, 11:32 PM
lol exploring can be fun... a adventure .... its a bit like treasure hunting...... and a lot of the fun can be in the searching lol

anicho
Mar 26, 2012, 11:34 PM
Awesome thank you.. will download to my Kindle


I don't think that what you're looking for is impossible, outrageous or ridiculous. It will be a challenge. I sound like a broken record, but I recommend this great book on open relationships. It gives some great advice but is also very grounded in reality.

http://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Creating-Sustaining-Relationships/dp/157344295X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332814104&sr=8-1

void()
Mar 27, 2012, 6:14 AM
Many here emphasize that a woman using a strap on is euphoric. Merely food for thought.

anicho
Mar 27, 2012, 7:08 AM
I have thought about it but it's not for me. It's more about the energy than object in orifice. For me women and men have very different energy. When I am with a man I want to be with a man. When I want to be with a woman I want to be with a woman.


Many here emphasize that a woman using a strap on is euphoric. Merely food for thought.