Bisexuality in the press: Montreal Gazette blog

[Brian]

The Gazette is Montreal's biggest daily newspaper. It is nice to see a frank discussion of aspects of bisexuality discussed so openly in a major daily. I've posted from Jillian Page's blog before.

Title: Switch-hitting: Conflicted Over Bisexuality?

http://blogs.montrealgazette.com/2012/05/11/switch-hitting-conflicted-over-bisexuality/

- Drew :paw:

[Gearbox]

I’m not so sure anymore. I mean, what if you find yourself falling for a woman, and then a man comes along and you start having feelings for him?
God knows why Jillian thinks it's any different to falling for 2 women. But some people do love more than one at a time, and that's not a sexuality thing at all. I'd be in my oils in a hippy commune of free love. To have and to be a source of intimate relations with many, on more than a sexual level. I'm not the only one I'm sure.:)

That's not what we are subliminally told to aim for though. In romantic literature and media, it's the '1-1 excluding all others' kind of love that we're 'told' to aim for. As if that is the 'healthy option'. As if it's the ONLY love worth a bean.
Yes that's right, if your lover isn't psychotically dependant on you and you alone, he/she doesn't really love you.LOL!
Yet it goes on, whether it's acted upon or not, by more people than we'd guess (I'm GUESSING!).:rolleyes:

[tenni]

"There’s no difference between being bi-, hetero-, or homo-sexual in this regard. You will come across someone, somewhere, at some time, that you will find you have an attraction to – even if you’re already attached. It’s what you do with that attraction that matters. Being bisexual certainly increases the available opportunities for attraction, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to hop into bed with them, or throw your current partner to the wolves in favour of the new flavour. All it means is that – given an open or a changing relationship, is that you may find yourself moving from a relationship with a woman to a relationship with a man."

I partially agree with Blair who posted a response. It is what you do with that attraction that matters but as Gear points out sometimes there may be two people available that you are attracted to. One may be female and one may be male. One may even be your current partner. You may not move from one relationship with a woman to a man or you may. You may hop into bed with both together or separately.

"As far as I know, three-way marriages — i.e. a woman marrying two people, a woman AND a man — are not permitted anywhere. I mean, has anybody even thought of it?"

Oh, Jillian, people are thinking about a three-way marriage...:) First, we have to get over the myth that ALL bisexual men spread HIV to women. Then some need to open up their minds about love and that it isn't about owning your lover.

[æonpax]

`
I read the short article and to me, the author's question was more about multiple partner relationships. Such arrangements transcend orientation as heterosexuals and gays are bounded by the same laws and religious conventions which either prohibit them or from a societal perspective, view them as taboo. This also touches on aspects of polyamory and polyfidelity.

As long as everyone is consenting, I have no problems with it.

[Long Duck Dong]

multiple partner relationships is something that I have always seen as a personal choice, nothing to do with sexuality and I base that around people I know in multiple partner relationships that are gay / hetero / les / bi and pansexual..... they are not always the " everybody loves and fucks everybody " type relationship

one of them that really stands out to me, is the bi lady with her les partner and her hetero husband.... the husband and the lesbian partner get on very well, but there is no sexual interaction between them, its a form of platonic relationship there, but both are sexual with the bi wife, and they all look after the children as a working parental / family unit......

if there is ever a multiple partner marriage that is based around free loving / sex / intimate relationships between people, I do hope that its one that is not pushed or based around bisexuality.... as its only going to cause issues...... it needs to be expressed as a option for any and all people equally, without using sexuality as a reason why people have to have it, or that it is needed for a sexuality or the right of a sexuality.....as it will just become another shit slinging fight like we are seeing with the fight for same sex marriage and people opposing gay marriage, as they are two different aspects of marriage.....

[tenni]

"But do you ever feel yourself torn between a relationship with a man and a relationship with a woman?" Jillian

This is the premise of the article.

It is a bisexual question.

This scenario is a little more specific than multi partners from a monosexual perspective imo. It is specific to bisexuality and does not transcend sexuality. A man with two or three heterosexual women in a relationship like certain Mormon sub cultures is different than what Jilian is referring to. The women do not interact with each other sexually while in a bisexual attraction where all are bisexual they may be more likely to.

There is still a decision required as to how a person resolves their feelings for two people of different genders but monosexual monogamy societal values usually set the person's thoughts up as having to decide on one or the other. The "pick both" option is more scorned. From my perspective as a bisexual man, the pick both option is more rational but not necessarily easy. Those that argue that we bisexuals are no different than monosexuals seem to be either evolved more than myself or well have a different thought process that if adhered to attempts to erase bisexuality's uniqueness in a monosexual world.

[æonpax]

multiple partner relationships is something that I have always seen as a personal choice, nothing to do with sexuality and I base that around people I know in multiple partner relationships that are gay / hetero / les / bi and pansexual..... they are not always the " everybody loves and fucks everybody " type relationship {snipped for brevity}
`

I would agree that an arrangement multiple partners isn't really a bisexual issue per se nor an overt sexual orientation issue. While "poly" spans the entire sexuality spectrum, everyone is free to enter into such lifestyle with their own notions of what it should be. There are no real rules and the myriad of different covenants can be set up to specifically suit those involved.

[Plumhead2]

"As far as I know, three-way marriages — i.e. a woman marrying two people, a woman AND a man — are not permitted anywhere. I mean, has anybody even thought of it?"

Hmmm, in the seventies I read a book called Multilateral Marriage by Larry and Joan Constantine. They define Multilateral Marriages as those "marriages" made up of more than two individuals. I met Larry and Joan at a University event, and their research shows that there are already many multilateral marriages already in existence in this country. OK, they are not legal, but they do exist. In those marriages, the men sleep with the women, but in their study there were no bisexual partners. The book presents the advantages and disadvantages of multilateral marriages. One interesting piece of data was that the average life of a multilateral marriage is greater than that of traditional monogamous marriages.

I personally have thought that such marriages would be wonderful. Why should one person be everything to me, and why should I have to be everything to my partner. In a multilateral marriage, you would be with the person that you wanted to be with at a particular time. And bisexuality would make sense because you could pursue the kind of sex you wanted at a particular time. However attractive these types of arrangements seem to be, and however I can almost taste what it would be like to be in one of them, my experience in the world tells me that it is highly unlikely that I will ever find it in my lifetime. It took me 49 years to find my wife. She is the love of my life and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Soooo, if it took 49 years to find her, how long would it take to find 2 or 3 other people who all love each other similarly and would want to spend their lives together? The odds against are mind-boggling! Multilateral marriages are a very attractive ideal, but sadly, I don't think it will happen for me, and probably not for the vast majority of people. Maybe it will be more prevalent when civilization becomes more civil.

But if anyone is interested in chatting about it . . . I am around.