Do you think a man should tell a straight woman about his sexuality?

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Ok, I was on another thread, and this question popped up, and of course most of the women said yes, because they would like to know,because she would no longer mess around with him, date him, and basically run like hell in the other direction in fear. But I do have to say for myself they gave pretty good answers as too why they would not fool around with a bisexual man. I mean, in my personal opinion I can understand why a woman would be insecure dating a bisexual man. But's that's just me.

[void()]

:thumbu::2cents:

[DuckiesDarling]

I have said it many many times on here... not telling the other person about your sexuality is like handing them a jigsaw puzzle with critical pieces missing. They need to know the entire picture to make informed choices.

[Annika L]

Do you think a conservative man (or woman) should tell a liberal woman (or man) about his (or her) political ideologies? I would certainly want to know, as I can see many reasons why a liberal would be uncomfortable dating or getting into a serious relationship with a conservative. But is it reasonable to *expect* or morally *require* him to do so? Is he scum if he does not?

The fact is that although conflict in political ideology *can* lead to all kinds of difficulties, and can point to deeper potential disconnects, history surely is full of mixed-ideology couples that have worked out just fine. If early disclosure of political philosophy leads to a couple *not* getting together, who otherwise may be quite compatible...well, that's just a damned shame, and I see no reason for it. Surely if the conflict in ideology would create such a disconnect that the two would truly be incompatible, then other signs of such incompatibility should be evident. What if he just *identifies* as conservative, maybe because of his upbringing, but (if the relationship had been given a chance) he would discover that his inner ideologies, upon examination, were more aligned with a liberal philosophy? To force him to reveal his political philosophy early then could really quite pointlessly jeopardize what could otherwise be a beautiful relationship.

Of course, though, I am only talking about the *early* stages of a *budding* relationship...first/second date and all. As they move into a closer, more intimate, longer-term relationship, certainly *any/all* aspects of both people should be revealed...nothing should remain perpetually hidden from one another.

I see a person's sexuality as no different here. In casual dating, if past lovers are not being discussed, then I see no reason why someone should have to disclose their sexuality. But as the relationship deepens, and the two get to know one another better (and/or past lovers *are* being discussed), it is definitely one of *many* aspects of their beings that needs to come to light. Sure, it could pose a challenge for one or both of them...but by that time, hopefully, they'll have some sense of whether and how well they can weather a challenge together, and whether it's worth facing this one together.

[tenni]

I think that Annika has given a wonderful analogy and points.

Bi Virgin, how many men have to told that you are a bisexual? At what point did you disclose your sexuality to these men? Do you tell straight men that you are not dating that you are a bisexual? Why or why not?

As pointed out by you, Bisexual Virgin, there may very well be more biphobic women than biphobic men when it comes to opposite gender relationships at least if disclosed at the beginning of any relationship. Certainly, there are biphobic straight men towards other bisexual men too. I am not sure how many straight women are biphobic of bisexual women. Maybe a bisexual woman may enlighten us...although the thread is about bimen and not biwomen.

Personally, I would not disclose on the first date or casual meeting. I would want to get to know them and vice versa in other ways unless it was a bonobo (affection ambassador) experience. ;) Stating that you are an affection ambassador regardless of gender might be a fun way of letting her know...lol:tongue:

[The Bisexual Virgin]

I think that Annika has given a wonderful analogy and points.

Bi Virgin, how many men have to told that you are a bisexual? At what point did you disclose your sexuality to these men? Do you tell straight men that you are not dating that you are a bisexual? Why or why not?

As pointed out by you, Bisexual Virgin, there may very well be more biphobic women than biphobic men when it comes to opposite gender relationships at least if disclosed at the beginning of any relationship. Certainly, there are biphobic straight men towards other bisexual men too. I am not sure how many straight women are biphobic of bisexual women. Maybe a bisexual woman may enlighten us...although the thread is about bimen and not biwomen.

Personally, I would not disclose on the first date or casual meeting. I would want to get to know them and vice versa in other ways unless it was a bonobo (affection ambassador) experience. ;) Stating that you are an affection ambassador regardless of gender might be a fun way of letting her know...lol:tongue:

When I feel a connection to the straight guy, yes I tell him that I am bisexual, and some actually like the idea of it, but I crush their nasty little fantasies by telling them I don't do threesomes, and I am not the stereotype the media portray me as.

[cinderalla]

yes i think that a bi male should tell a straight woman his sexuality she is in this reletionship 2 & that if she high tells it out of the reletionship then it just wasn't meant 2 b.that being a woman that i would want 2 know.that if u ever find u're soul mate & if she says that she is commited 2 u & love u 4 who u r then she will defentaily understand & stick by u no matter what & except u 4 who u really are.in my opinion that don't pretend 2 b any 1 that u're not 4 no 1 it's not worth the headache or the stress b who u r 4 u & b proud of who u r.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well of course he should tell her. If things are progressing well between them, then his sexuality Should be brought up. No sense getting into the relationship then going "Oh by the way".....6 months or 10 years into the relationship. Women dont like those kinds of surprizes; It doesnt do Either of them any good.
Like I'm always maintaining: Be open and honest, Be You at all times. I think you'll find a few women who might run like scared Sheep, then you might find that one Cougar who would be Delighted in knowing that you Are Bi...:}
Just my humble 2 pennies, Darlin.:}
Yer Cat

[Gearbox]

I agree with Cinderalla. I wouldn't want a partner with biphobic or homophobic traits anyway. That would be awkward on gay porn night.:rolleyes:

NOT if it's just a one night stand though! On the first date, or while planning a first date. Not sure exactly how that would happen. "Would you like to join me for a drink? And before you answer that, I think you should know that I'm a bisexual, just in case your shallow".lol

[Long Duck Dong]

I think any person has a right to know about important things that can change the dynamics of the relationship that two people can enter into.... as best as possible.....

coming out to a potential partner can be a hard thing to do, risky and stressful.... and when you are strongly attracted to the person, it adds a aspect of concern that they will not be interested in a relationship with you since the relationship / type of partner is not what they are looking for as a mate... and so if they say lets be friends, it can be really hard......

one of the things that I find interesting is that people may not stop and say ok.... well lets talk about it and see how it goes.... there is often a instant assumption of what the person will want and expect, and so the * plug is pulled * prematurely...... its a shame, but that is why communication, honesty and TIME is important between people....

some of the best relationships I have seen have been between people with differences of understanding and ideas, that took the time to learn about the person, not the assumption of the people based around general understanding of what people are like cos they may be monogamous, non monogamous and their sexuality

[aLABiM75 & StrF51]

.


If you can not trust your sex partner with your sexuality....
then you should rethink having anything to do with that partner.

.

[opentoitiguess]

I agree with Cinderalla. I wouldn't want a partner with biphobic or homophobic traits anyway. That would be awkward on gay porn night.:rolleyes:

NOT if it's just a one night stand though! On the first date, or while planning a first date. Not sure exactly how that would happen. "Would you like to join me for a drink? And before you answer that, I think you should know that I'm a bisexual, just in case your shallow".lol

How would that make them bi or homophobic? I don't get that with men. As long as she doesn't bash you,I see no problem. I have had a headache with my bi bf.

[Emotional Masochist]

i had this conversation with a friends a little while ago, after telling this girl i went out to coffee with that i was bi. She was an old friend from high school who i hadn't seen in a while so we started to talk about random stuff and her ex boyfriend(who was also a friend of mine). I mentioned that after they broke up he propositioned me and she laughed because i used to always joke about taking care of him :rolleyes: if she ever left him. This led into the whole discussion on me being bi because she always thought i was just being funny. it was kind of shocking to her, but she took it well and asked alot of questions. Was very rewarding.

But this sparked a debate amongst my friends. a few of them argued that maybe me telling people i am bi should wait till a little further into the relationship. especially since a few straight women and gay men have sort of turned their noses up at me once i say it. they argued that it is not necessary to bring it up at all unless the whole thing until it goes past a few dates, but i dont agreee. It is part of who i am and i dont feel the need to hide it.

[tenni]

How would that make them bi or homophobic? I don't get that with men. As long as she doesn't bash you,I see no problem. I have had a headache with my bi bf.

What do you not get about men? (or do you mean bi men?)

Are not the women in the OP bashing ALL bimen when they say that they would run away from any biman? These women are not stating that they know a particular bi man who has done "something" specific that they do not like and therefore will not go out (or have sex , a relationship etc.) with that specific biman. They generalize and reject ALL bimen based on negative prejudice that all bimen are "bad" and all women should run away from them. Replace the words bisexual men with a race ...ie Black men, Asian men etc. and you should get a better understanding as to how the women in the OP were acting. That is bigotry. That is biphobia. Biphobia is an aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or as individuals. A source of discrimination against bisexuals, biphobia is based on negative bisexual sterotypes .

Treat bimen as individuals and do not generalize and label all bisexual men with negative unproven (and unnamed in OP) transgressions.

If you have a headache with your bi bf, does that mean that you should run away from ALL bisexual men?

[Mickie]

Tenni, women don't just bash bisexual men. One of the things I have a real problem with is bitter women. I swear, if a woman has a boyfriend/husband who, for whatever reason, doesn't measure up, leaves her for somebody else, etc. some of them never, ever get over it. Then ALL men do whatever it is HE did. Sometimes I just listen to all that bitterness (and silliness) and think, "good lord, I would've left you long before he did cause you are so GOOFY!" I just don't hear that kind of bitterness from men. They may be pissed at something the ex did, but they tend to think the next one will be better.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

How would that make them bi or homophobic? I don't get that with men. As long as she doesn't bash you,I see no problem. I have had a headache with my bi bf.

Why do you have a headache with your bi bf?

[opentoitiguess]

What do you not get about men? (or do you mean bi men?)

Are not the women in the OP bashing ALL bimen when they say that they would run away from any biman? These women are not stating that they know a particular bi man who has done "something" specific that they do not like and therefore will not go out (or have sex , a relationship etc.) with that specific biman. They generalize and reject ALL bimen based on negative prejudice that all bimen are "bad" and all women should run away from them. Replace the words bisexual men with a race ...ie Black men, Asian men etc. and you should get a better understanding as to how the women in the OP were acting. That is bigotry. That is biphobia. Biphobia is an aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or as individuals. A source of discrimination against bisexuals, biphobia is based on negative bisexual sterotypes .

Treat bimen as individuals and do not generalize and label all bisexual men with negative unproven (and unnamed in OP) transgressions.

If you have a headache with your bi bf, does that mean that you should run away from ALL bisexual men?
What do you not get about men? (or do you mean bi men?)

Are not the women in the OP bashing ALL bimen when they say that they would run away from any biman? These women are not stating that they know a particular bi man who has done "something" specific that they do not like and therefore will not go out (or have sex , a relationship etc.) with that specific biman. They generalize and reject ALL bimen based on negative prejudice that all bimen are "bad" and all women should run away from them. Replace the words bisexual men with a race ...ie Black men, Asian men etc. and you should get a better understanding as to how the women in the OP were acting. That is bigotry. That is biphobia. Biphobia is an aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or as individuals. A source of discrimination against bisexuals, biphobia is based on negative bisexual sterotypes .

Treat bimen as individuals and do not generalize and label all bisexual men with negative unproven (and unnamed in OP) transgressions.

If you have a headache with your bi bf, does that mean that you should run away from ALL bisexual men?

Hello
It seems easy to tell women that all bi men aren't "like that". I have been with a handful of bisexual men. I lived in a certain area for awhile. It's easy to say "give us a chance" You're not the one dealing with the things that comes with a bisexual man. Yes,I know being a male who is attracted to men is pretty much a sin to some people,so it is a crazy scary road and I understand that. I have been with my current bf as he took that road and it was not at all easy for me neither. You can't sit there and tell me that a good amount of bi men are going to need a male companion somewhere down the line. I have been to groups and talks this and that. Yes,there are a fair amount of men who won't,but come on. Lets be honest. Some women are stepping into a relationship and even marrying a male KNOWING that he doesn't want a monogamous relationship and some are great about it and others just put it in the back of their minds or chance it anyway.

I have heard close to 200 stories from women. I belong to a group in Chicago and one in Rhode Island. I have heard both sides back and forth. It all boiled down to "women should let bisexual men explore their sexuality". Okay,I'm done. We're not trying to change the attraction. So,there is really nothing left to say. I would be a fool to keep dating bi men and ending up with the same results. I don't advocate to women about bi men. If someone were to ask me about my experience,I would tell them,but I always say that all men are different. Dealing with MY bisexual boyfriend has been a complete waste of time. Not because he likes men,but because I felt that he knew that he could never be with just one person. Yes,people cheat,but there are people who actually go into a relationship with monogamy on their mind. I'm not biphobic,I just don't want to deal with someones sexual journey.

Call it what you want. Call it selfish,a pity,mean,bitter or whatever,but figure it out before marriage and dating a female who is not into threesomes. Some men have called be a prude. I am very open in the bedroom and I have dealt with threesomes with my ex bf from college. It is not for me and some of the bi men that have asked me out or are in out groups seem to be gay,not bi. I am black and my boyfriend is of mixed heritage(Greek and Italian). Some of the men in our talk groups have told him that they don't find black women attractive and would not date them. Should I call them racist or....blackphobic. They should not be going around announcing it and bashing the features of a certain group. Many didn't seem to think that he was ignorant and thought that he was just stating his opinion.

He went on and on about our features. Our nose,our big behinds,our skin,our hair texture. If he just said, I am not interested in dating blacks,I would have left it there. That is his preference,but he started to bash. My boyfriend(soon to be ex) was an inch from getting into it,but he knows that I don't like fighting for words. It's not worth it. Now,THAT is bashing. People need to be careful when they label some bi or homophobic. It seems as if some men get very upset when a woman simply states a "NO". I am not talking about the bashing women. I am talking about men asking women "Would you date a bisexual male" and The answer is a simply no or a nope. Then the next question is "why not" don't ask to elaborate if you're not ready for it. People generalize every sort of person.

I just found this forum and I can't even count how many "I am bi and I fool around on my wife/gf" post that I have came across. There are men encouraging it,so that does not make it any easier. My groups were the same. There were monogamous couples in both of them,but the ratio of MtoNM was about 20/50 in my RI group. That is not an encouraging fact to deal with. I'm all for a male exploring his bi side,but not with me. If someone came onto a certain forum for a certain group and read the same things 6/10 times,it would lead to a generalization. No person should be bashing bi men or any other group,but a woman has a right to make a choice on what sort of man(or woman) she wants to be with rather it be straight or not. I never heard any woman say "straight men are easier" in any of my groups. That has never came into our minds. My boyfriend has asked that in a discussion and most of us laughed. It's just another set of obstacles to get through and it is very tough.

[opentoitiguess]

I don't know why you think men are not bitter because I have been around many of them. Some may not show it like some women do,but it's there. Some men call women and other men sluts because they've been cheated on or women gold diggers because they dated a certain type of female. In my mind,a male or female has a right to be a bit tart,but should not date until their ready or take it out on another individual. They need some counseling. My cousin hates women because his ex divorced him and how he pays $500/month for child support. He swears we're all money grubbers. I told him that $500 was pretty cheap. If the judge awarded her that,then it is what it is and he should want to take care of his child. I probably spend more time with my cousin more than he does. shrugs.

[Mickie]

You're right. Some men are just awful, too. But they seem to be more inclined to blame the woman they've just left. It's pretty much never their fault that she's taking 'em to the cleaners. But they're always more than happy to think the one they have their eye on currently is "not like that". These golddiggers they speak of are usually trying to get child support. I just think if everybody's honest most of this stuff could be avoided.

[The Dude]

Well that's really up to the individual and based on your sex life too. If you are actively having sex with other men and you plan on engaging in sex with a woman she has the right to know about your sex life as far as risks etc. are concerned so she can make a decision with all the info. (Of course there are always exceptions.)

It also depends on how serious the relationship is for instance if you are dating you don't have to reveal everything about yourself, but if it's an exclusive relationship then most definitely YES! If you are not sure on how to broach the subject; it's not that hard most people talk about sexuality these days and the topic is not hard to raise. Just say that you used to think you might be gay or a guy kissed you once if you feel the time is right. If she reacts negatively, then she is probably not the girl for you.

I know for most men this can be easier said than done, and many bi men don't feel that they want to come out to just anyone so it's a tricky area to say the least so trust is always going to be an issue. Not to mention that if you are a woman you can easily get away with it and the man will probably be more attracted to you than ever. In the end it's like this if you were her do you think you would want to know...

[gen11]

Disclaimer: I haven't read even most of the responses. My experience: My rigidly straight girlfriend (who lovesl anal sex) is enthusiastic about me being bi. She was only upset when she learned by a fax pas on my part because I hadn't trusted her enough to tell her. We've had a few heavily bi mmw sessions; she says it arouses her to imagine me with a man.

My wife would be destroyed by the knowledge, and hence I am pathologically careful about protecting her from knowledge of either. Before the moralists and those who don't experience the need for the closet come down on me with both feet, there is a great deal I'm not saying about how the girlfriend and the bi situations came to be. No, neither are right for a married man whose wife couldn't accept it; but neither are they as tacky and disreputable as surface knowledge makes them seem.

Bottom line about this question, for me: it depends on the nature of the relationship between the bi man and straight woman and other case-by-case factors. I don't belive there is a on-size-fits-even-most answer here.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Hello
It seems easy to tell women that all bi men aren't "like that". I have been with a handful of bisexual men. I lived in a certain area for awhile. It's easy to say "give us a chance" You're not the one dealing with the things that comes with a bisexual man. Yes,I know being a male who is attracted to men is pretty much a sin to some people,so it is a crazy scary road and I understand that. I have been with my current bf as he took that road and it was not at all easy for me neither. You can't sit there and tell me that a good amount of bi men are going to need a male companion somewhere down the line. I have been to groups and talks this and that. Yes,there are a fair amount of men who won't,but come on. Lets be honest. Some women are stepping into a relationship and even marrying a male KNOWING that he doesn't want a monogamous relationship and some are great about it and others just put it in the back of their minds or chance it anyway.

I have heard close to 200 stories from women. I belong to a group in Chicago and one in Rhode Island. I have heard both sides back and forth. It all boiled down to "women should let bisexual men explore their sexuality". Okay,I'm done. We're not trying to change the attraction. So,there is really nothing left to say. I would be a fool to keep dating bi men and ending up with the same results. I don't advocate to women about bi men. If someone were to ask me about my experience,I would tell them,but I always say that all men are different. Dealing with MY bisexual boyfriend has been a complete waste of time. Not because he likes men,but because I felt that he knew that he could never be with just one person. Yes,people cheat,but there are people who actually go into a relationship with monogamy on their mind. I'm not biphobic,I just don't want to deal with someones sexual journey.

Call it what you want. Call it selfish,a pity,mean,bitter or whatever,but figure it out before marriage and dating a female who is not into threesomes. Some men have called be a prude. I am very open in the bedroom and I have dealt with threesomes with my ex bf from college. It is not for me and some of the bi men that have asked me out or are in out groups seem to be gay,not bi. I am black and my boyfriend is of mixed heritage(Greek and Italian). Some of the men in our talk groups have told him that they don't find black women attractive and would not date them. Should I call them racist or....blackphobic. They should not be going around announcing it and bashing the features of a certain group. Many didn't seem to think that he was ignorant and thought that he was just stating his opinion.

He went on and on about our features. Our nose,our big behinds,our skin,our hair texture. If he just said, I am not interested in dating blacks,I would have left it there. That is his preference,but he started to bash. My boyfriend(soon to be ex) was an inch from getting into it,but he knows that I don't like fighting for words. It's not worth it. Now,THAT is bashing. People need to be careful when they label some bi or homophobic. It seems as if some men get very upset when a woman simply states a "NO". I am not talking about the bashing women. I am talking about men asking women "Would you date a bisexual male" and The answer is a simply no or a nope. Then the next question is "why not" don't ask to elaborate if you're not ready for it. People generalize every sort of person.

I just found this forum and I can't even count how many "I am bi and I fool around on my wife/gf" post that I have came across. There are men encouraging it,so that does not make it any easier. My groups were the same. There were monogamous couples in both of them,but the ratio of MtoNM was about 20/50 in my RI group. That is not an encouraging fact to deal with. I'm all for a male exploring his bi side,but not with me. If someone came onto a certain forum for a certain group and read the same things 6/10 times,it would lead to a generalization. No person should be bashing bi men or any other group,but a woman has a right to make a choice on what sort of man(or woman) she wants to be with rather it be straight or not. I never heard any woman say "straight men are easier" in any of my groups. That has never came into our minds. My boyfriend has asked that in a discussion and most of us laughed. It's just another set of obstacles to get through and it is very tough.

Oh my god, girl can I give you a hug? Oh sweet Jesus. I can honestly say I agree with everything you just said.

1.) The first sentence. I have notice that bisexual men will say that to a woman just to get into her pants, then BOOM he does a whole 180 on her and decides he wants some cock to fulfill his needs. I still have a hard time understanding if a man's dick is soooooooooo fucking awesome, and it's holy relic that bisexual men think about 24/7, what's the point in being with a woman? Honestly, I really cannot understand this thought process.

2.) You are spot on. I have heard many stories from women saying their husbands are not fully satisfied with them because she does not have a cock, and they get caught cheating. And this is another reason why most straight women refuse to date bisexual men. They have this fear no matter what I cannot change his sexuality, and he will eventually crave cock and cheat on me with a man. I have to say most bisexual men make women very insecure, and question their relationship in the fist place, and this leads to women refusing bisexual men.

3.) A lot of people, especially bis/gays confuse rejection, and preference with being biphobic or homophobic.

4.) I have realize, that many gay white people are racist assholes. Although I am not surprised because let's be honest they are white first, and gay second. And secondly you should have maced that fucker in the face.

Also I would like to say the site that mention in my original post, is a very good site for black women. I have been on that site since june and I have not stop posting it's that awesome. So a woman like you that's black, and you have your frustrations with bisexual men you should fit right at home. Let me know if you would like the name to the site and I will pm it to you

[rj2127]

Tenni, women don't just bash bisexual men. One of the things I have a real problem with is bitter women. I swear, if a woman has a boyfriend/husband who, for whatever reason, doesn't measure up, leaves her for somebody else, etc. some of them never, ever get over it. Then ALL men do whatever it is HE did. Sometimes I just listen to all that bitterness (and silliness) and think, "good lord, I would've left you long before he did cause you are so GOOFY!" I just don't hear that kind of bitterness from men. They may be pissed at something the ex did, but they tend to think the next one will be better.

:thumbu:

[Gearbox]

How would that make them bi or homophobic? I don't get that with men. As long as she doesn't bash you,I see no problem. I have had a headache with my bi bf.
With hetero women (some) I think part of why they are against dating bi males is due to homophobia as much as biphobia, as in they don't seem to grasp that a bi man can like women just as much as a hetero male, and they don't like the idea that they like cock. That's the homophobia bit.
The biphobia bit, is that being bi automatically sparks off negative opinions of somebody they don't yet know.
NOT just some hetero women, but some gay men too with equal but opposite reasons.
Been there, done that, got the bullseye on my head.lol

I think it was VERY insensitive for that bloke to run through a list of what doesn't attract him to black women and using you as a model. Fortunately your features repel people like him so you don't have to deal with them (usually). But imagine if he mistook you for Caucasian, then when he found out that your actually not, he rejected you on that point due to his beliefs about black women.
That's a little closer to what bi's feel.;)

[falcondfw]

Have not read most responses on this thread. BUT...

Yes, I think ALL people should be totally honest with each other on their sexuality and other matters, if they expect a long term relationship to occur.

Long term requires honesty, trust, communications, and so many other things. But if you cannot communicate and you cannot trust her to be honest and you are constantly worried about her cheating?

What chance does the relationship have?

[void()]

No person should be bashing bi men or any other group,but a woman has a right to make a choice on what sort of man(or woman) she wants to be with rather it be straight or not.

Some of us actually concur, are fairly upfront at the onset of a relationship. Unfortunately, the generalizations deafen people to such cases. Those whom embody such cases also grow weary of repeating themselves to deaf ears.

One can be the change they wish seeing in the world and dine upon hope all they desire. Socrates was correct though, one starves sitting at that dinner. Lots of folks need better hearing aids, my humble :2cents:.

[bityme]

Isn't the real question: "Should an individual tell someone else about their sexuality?"

If two (or more) individuals have the expectation of entering into a relationship that will involve sexual intimacy, then, yes, they should tell each other about their sexuality. It makes no difference what their respective genders or orientations are.

Amazingly, people will talk about anything when contemplating more permanency in their relationship, except sex (other than how much they enjoy it with each other). They will discuss current and future, education, employment, earnings, religion, politics, children, living conditions, food, alcohol, smoking, allergies, medical conditions, almost anything they might think is important, except those aspects of their sexuality they have not yet disclosed. Those most intimate details always seem to be left on the "To Be Discussed Later, or Never" list. It is as if our puritanical society has left all but a few of us with an inbred fear of others knowing anything about us other than what we perceive to be the societal "norm."

That fear of disclosure runs across the spectrum. A straight man won't tell a straight woman he likes to wear panties and she won't mention she hates oral sex. He will keep it to himself or wait for an opportunity to make it seem like it was her idea. She will participate at the beginning of the relationship, but after marriage the frequency will decline until it no longer happens.

If the subject of alternative orientations comes up, disclosure it limited to what the think will be acceptable but a phase the went through when younger. A woman will admit to, a time or two, having gotten drunk or stoned with a roommate or a group of girls in school and some necking and heavy petting with another girl, but not taking care of each outer when their dates came too fast and failed to satisfy them. The guys will admit to the adolescent circle jerk but not the many times their college roommate (now fishing buddy) and he took care of each other when they couldn't find a date or their girlfriends weren't available.

Even when the disclosure of alternative sexual activities is a bit more extensive, it always seems to have been in the context of a phase or exploration thy went through and now it's over.

So they commit themselves to each other, most of the time actually believing those past experiences were just a phase.

Even with no prior experiences, we don't discuss fantasies or desires. No need to! We have found our "Soul Mate," our "True Love" or our "One and Only." The world will be perfect for us.

So they commit themselves to each other, most of the time actually believing those fantasies and desires are unimportant and do not need to be disclosed or discussed.

As the relationship progresses old experiences, fantasies and desires are remembered. If they were comfortable discussing such issues and being honest about them, they would be talking about them immediately. But something had been held back before. Starting to talk about things now would require admitting to a lie, or at the very least, a non disclosure.

More time goes on and the old experiences, fantasies and desires become more compelling. They can't talk about it now, it's too late, or so they think. But the thoughts turn into action. Now they are doing things on the sly, on the down low, behind their partners back, in the closet, cheating, or however else their conduct might be classified. Now when asked "Does your spouse know?" the response in "No, they would kill me."

And the problem escalates. The frequency of the hidden actions increases. They try to justify the cheating by reference to unreasonable expectations or beliefs of the spouse, or, what they don't know won't hurt them.

The answer is obvious! OF COURSE, A PROSPECTIVE PARTNER SHOULD BE TOLD ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY!!!

Just my two cents,

Pappy

[tenni]

Post 22
"I have heard many stories from women saying their husbands are not fully satisfied with them because she does not have a cock, and they get caught cheating. And this is another reason why most straight women refuse to date bisexual men. They have this fear no matter what I cannot change his sexuality, and he will eventually crave cock and cheat on me with a man. I have to say most bisexual men make women very insecure, and question their relationship in the fist place, and this leads to women refusing bisexual men."

Bi Virgin
Why does it matter if he sucks dick to you? Do you think that if he sucks dick that he doesn't love you?

You are a biwoman can you not distinguish between wanting pussy and loving a man at the same time? Do you like and want both cock and pussy on a physical level? What do you want from a woman bi virgin? Sex, love ?..or both? How does it impact your love for a man if he wants dick and your pussy too? Do you feel rejected?
.........................

"A lot of people, especially bis/gays confuse rejection, and preference with being biphobic or homophobic."
Would you please expand on this idea?

Post 27

Excellently stated pappy. Is it not about feelings of fear of rejection?

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Tenni are you serious? It matters because to me because I don't have a dick. So of course I would automatically assume that he does not love me, hell even like me for that matter. And see that's the problem I have trying to understand. why can't bisexual men just suck all the cock they want, and fuck or get fucked by all the men they want too, without being in a relationship with a woman? Whats the point of being in a relationship with a woman, if you are going to crave something she does not have?

Alot of bisexual men get all bitchy when a woman refuses to date them. Calling her all kinds of names that are disrespectful. I have experience this myself.

[csrakate]

Tenni are you serious? It matters because to me because I don't have a dick. So of course I would automatically assume that he does not love me, hell even like me for that matter. And see that's the problem I have trying to understand. why can't bisexual men just suck all the cock they want, and fuck or get fucked by all the men they want too, without being in a relationship with a woman? Whats the point of being in a relationship with a woman, if you are going to crave something she does not have?

Alot of bisexual men get all bitchy when a woman refuses to date them. Calling her all kinds of names that are disrespectful. I have experience this myself.

I still cannot understand how you can call yourself a bisexual yet you refuse to acknowledge what a bisexual man may experience. I am sure a lot of what you claim can be said about women who desire pussy but insist on dating men. Let's face it, you seem to have an issue with MEN...not bisexual men...but MEN. Your constant bashing of bisexual men is not well thought out nor is it based in fact.....just YOUR limited, if any, experience. You would do yourself a great favor to quit bashing and perhaps, start listening to what some of the men here have to say. You may learn something.

[Mickie]

To just cut straight to the chase the bottom line is this: If you are in a relationship with another person and you do not tell that person that you are bisexual it probably wouldn't be an issue if you never acted on that side of your personality (whatever you call it) and as long as it didn't affect your feelings for them. If you are acting on those sexual feelings in whatever manner you're doing it you just have to man up (or woman up) and tell 'em. Actually, in either case, if you don't tell them the truth is you're in a relationship that is based on false ideas and expectations by at least one of you. How can you be close to somebody if you aren't honest with them or they aren't honest with you? I think being honest about your sexuality is getting confused here with trying to tell somebody about it and getting them to okay sex with other people outside the relationship.
I'd have to tell. I just don't have that kind of energy that is required to hide. It would just wear me out. I'd blurt it out at some point out of sheer exhaustion from trying to hide stuff. I'd rather just tell the truth, deal with the fallout and get on with life.

[tenni]

Post 29
why can't bisexual men just suck all the cock they want, and fuck or get fucked by all the men they want too, without being in a relationship with a woman?

Some bimen will have sex with men and not be in a relationship with women at certain times in their lives. Some will have sex with women and not have sex with men even though it might be "nice" it is not really urgent and they are not driven to have sex with both genders. Other bimen love a woman and it does not include exclusivity sexually with men. They will be exclusive with their female partner as far as other women are concerned because their female partner fulfills all of their needs of sex with women. The biman is committed to her in that way. They love the woman but they also want the physical cock. Some claim to need it to be happy. They need both genders to be happy and feel complete as a bisexual person.

As a bisexual woman, do you not want to be sexually with a woman? Might you want to be with a woman if you were in love with a man just for the pure physical sexual feelings of feeling her breasts up against your own? Your pubic areas in a scissor position? Feeling her mouth on your mouth/breasts/vagina and having her play with your breasts?

Yet, still be attracted to men and fall in love with them but not fall in love with a woman?

Whats the point of being in a relationship with a woman, if you are going to crave something she does not have?

The same question may be asked of you as a bisexual woman. Do you crave cock? Do you crave breasts and vaginas?

[12voltman59]

My take on this subject is simply--"It depends"

It does depend upon the nature of what the relationship is, how its developing and "where do I want this to thing to go."

If the guy in question wanted to keep the relationship more on the "lighter side"--as more of a friendship/companionship level and there is no sex involved----and if after feeling out the other person's views regarding homosexuality, how open minded she is regarding ways that "aren't normal" or what have you----then it might not really be any more necessary to disclose one's bisexuality to the straight woman in such a case than such a thing would be disclosed to others.

Now--obviously if things are "going to get heavy" and surely if sexual activity is going to be shared----then yes----the guy should disclose his bisexuality and be prepared that he might get rejected and the relationship is going to end. Also---he can also expect--that if he has been rather quiet about his bisexuality----there is going to be a high probability that if he and the woman travel in the same relative circles----the word will be spread far and wide that he is bisexual but not put out that way---because if she "hates" that "oh my god, I always seem to attract gay guys"---she will be telling everyone and anyone she knows that the guy is "gay."

As Mickie said above---disclosure by the guy of his bisexuality also would depend upon whether he is at all active in regards to being with other guys. If he might have been so years ago--and even if he might still have such desires to do so but for whatever reason, he has decided that he really doesn't care to do anything ever again with another male---then no----he is under no obligation to tell the woman, at least at the early stages of the relationship.

Now---what I say here-are just possible ways to handle things----but it is certainly not meant to be a definitive mandate---it really is actually a hard thing to make a declarative statement about such a thing as this that applies to any and all situations----as I said----whether to disclose such a thing----is a gray area---because each and every situation that arises is a unique situation---and when in them---you need to find your way through it as it develops----and you need to feel out the other person, your own feelings at the time, what the situation is, etc.

Overall---I do agree with that ultimately----if there is to be a serious, intimate relationship----such a thing as one's sexual orientation should be disclosed to the other party---what really matters is the manner and timing of such a disclosure. But if the relationship is not going to be a serious or potentially long term one----I don't think it is all that vital that one's bisexuality is disclosed----only that you are sure of your HIV status and just that you are sexually active with others or not.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Post 29
why can't bisexual men just suck all the cock they want, and fuck or get fucked by all the men they want too, without being in a relationship with a woman?

Some bimen will have sex with men and not be in a relationship with women at certain times in their lives. Some will have sex with women and not have sex with men even though it might be "nice" it is not really urgent and they are not driven to have sex with both genders. Other bimen love a woman and it does not include exclusivity sexually with men. They will be exclusive with their female partner as far as other women are concerned because their female partner fulfills all of their needs of sex with women. The biman is committed to her in that way. They love the woman but they also want the physical cock. Some claim to need it to be happy. They need both genders to be happy and feel complete as a bisexual person.

As a bisexual woman, do you not want to be sexually with a woman? Might you want to be with a woman if you were in love with a man just for the pure physical sexual feelings of feeling her breasts up against your own? Your pubic areas in a scissor position? Feeling her mouth on your mouth/breasts/vagina and having her play with your breasts?

Yet, still be attracted to men and fall in love with them but not fall in love with a woman?

Whats the point of being in a relationship with a woman, if you are going to crave something she does not have?

The same question may be asked of you as a bisexual woman. Do you crave cock? Do you crave breasts and vaginas?

I don't want to do anything with a another woman while I am in a relationship with a man. No matter what or who it's with it's called cheating. I know for me, I can shut off the other side of me just to be a loyal person to a partner I am with. Does that answer your question? And I expect some bisexual men would do the same, but I guess it does not work that way. It's real selfish of him if he doesn't.

[tenni]

I don't want to do anything with a another woman while I am in a relationship with a man. No matter what or who it's with it's called cheating. I know for me, I can shut off the other side of me just to be a loyal person to a partner I am with. Does that answer your question? And I expect some bisexual men would do the same, but I guess it does not work that way. It's real selfish of him if he doesn't.

Partially answers a question or two. Cheating is a different factor though. You state that you have no desire or need to be with a woman if you are with a man. If you were in a relationship for ten to twenty years and no interest to have sex with a woman that might be a different aspect on your bisexuality. Not all bisexuals (men or women) are able to be happy in the way that you look at things. You never know until ten or twenty years have passed whether you will crave sex with a woman. Time will tell. You might want to listen to other bisexuals who have tried to suppress their attractions/needs for years. It might happen to you. Bisexuality tends to be fluid as far as sexual needs.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Partially answers a question or two. Cheating is a different factor though. You state that you have no desire or need to be with a woman if you are with a man. If you were in a relationship for ten to twenty years and no interest to have sex with a woman that might be a different aspect on your bisexuality. Not all bisexuals (men or women) are able to be happy in the way that you look at things. You never know until ten or twenty years have passed whether you will crave sex with a woman. Time will tell. You might want to listen to other bisexuals who have tried to suppress their attractions/needs for years. It might happen to you. Bisexuality tends to be fluid as far as sexual needs.

Wel if the case. I seriously believe most people, and this goes for bisexuals as well need to reconsider marriage, and long term relationship before jumping into things. Or they could always walk away from a twenty year marriage and find happiness wherever it's at.

[tenni]

Wel if the case. I seriously believe most people, and this goes for bisexuals as well need to reconsider marriage, and long term relationship before jumping into things. Or they could always walk away from a twenty year marriage and find happiness wherever it's at.

Since you are a bisexual, then you are reconsidering marriage? You are not suited to it?

You might want to define marriage in a different way then. Others do define it without monogamy as being so crucial.

[Annika L]

I don't want to do anything with a another woman while I am in a relationship with a man. No matter what or who it's with it's called cheating. I know for me, I can shut off the other side of me just to be a loyal person to a partner I am with. Does that answer your question? And I expect some bisexual men would do the same, but I guess it does not work that way. It's real selfish of him if he doesn't.

I remember feeling similarly 20 years ago, when I had only been with my partner for a few years. "As long as I am with her, I don't need men in my life. I can shut that part of me off, and I am committed to doing so in the name of loyalty."

The thing is, we change as we get older, and the world looks different from 45 than it did from 25. For me (and for my partner of 26 years, who also identifies as bisexual) interest in men has slowly grown over the years, and whereas complete monogamy felt like the *only* way to live 20 years ago, now it's beginning to feel like an unnecessarily self-imposed sentence.

We would never cheat on one another. We remain loyal. But we *are* considering changing our *definition* of loyal...changing the rules to suit who we are now, rather than who we were 20 years ago.

So some key points for you to consider:

(1) People's sexuality, preferences, and needs change and develop over the years...yours does; your partner's does. All you know is that *right now* you can shut off that side of yourself and be happy being loyal. Ten to twenty years from now, that could change for you. And if it does, you'll want understanding from your partner.

(2) Cheating is breaking the rules, not being non-monogamous. If the rules allow exploration or activity outside the bounds of the partnership, then such exploration is not cheating.

(3) It is not productive to label someone's desires as "selfish". I am not selfish for wanting more than I originally agreed to. I *would* be selfish if I insisted that I be able to satisfy my desires without considering my partner's feelings or desires, or if satisfied my desires secretly and left my partner out of that loop. As long as partners are willing and able to work together to find solutions that work for all involved, nobody is selfish. If your differences are (now or eventually) unreconcilable, and *no* compromise is possible, then yeah, you have to accept at that point that it's time to walk away (hopefully amicably) from the relationship...but that's not your "fault" OR your partner's "fault" (regardless of which of you wants what)...that is simply life in a world with more than one person in it.

[12voltman59]

Annika hit on some good points--back 20 years ago--I was deep in the midst of having a series of short, intense but committed relationships with several ladies--and even though sitting way back in my mind someplace, were some deeply buried desires to do stuff with guys, I had offers from a few guys that I rebuffed because I told myself that I had no real interest in doing such thing "EVER AGAIN"---but here it is 20 plus years on from those days at present---I am somewhat sexually active with males--- certainly more so than with females at present, so as Annika stated, our sexual tastes surely do change over time and what you tell yourself at 35 is acceptable is very different than what it will be at 48 or 52.

One thing for sure---NEVER SAY NEVER!!!! :bigrin::yikes2:

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Since you are a bisexual, then you are reconsidering marriage? You are not suited to it?

You might want to define marriage in a different way then. Others do define it without monogamy as being so crucial.

I am saying what's the point of getting married when you are not planing on staying committed to one person. Why stay in a marriage were suddenly you might want the opposite sex of your partner?

[Long Duck Dong]

cos bi virgin.... some people want a poly marriage with the partners they love....and the closest they can get, is a marriage between two people.

others want to have a personal relationship with the ones they love, not with the ones they don't, but they enjoy sex with the same and opposite sex.....

some people need a partner as well as a pseudo parent in their lives to clean up their messes while they go * play * with the * other children *...

[TonyBi4older]

Yes indeed! Do you want to continue life in denial?

[Long Duck Dong]

(3) It is not productive to label someone's desires as "selfish". I am not selfish for wanting more than I originally agreed to. I *would* be selfish if I insisted that I be able to satisfy my desires without considering my partner's feelings or desires, or if satisfied my desires secretly and left my partner out of that loop. As long as partners are willing and able to work together to find solutions that work for all involved, nobody is selfish. If your differences are (now or eventually) unreconcilable, and *no* compromise is possible, then yeah, you have to accept at that point that it's time to walk away (hopefully amicably) from the relationship...but that's not your "fault" OR your partner's "fault" (regardless of which of you wants what)...that is simply life in a world with more than one person in it.

frames this remark and puts on my wall as a poster......

if anything could sum up my views on relationships... this one remark would be it.....

[tenni]

I am saying what's the point of getting married when you are not planing on staying committed to one person. Why stay in a marriage were suddenly you might want the opposite sex of your partner?

Can you not commit to other points than monogamy: love this one person, being truthful to this one person, respectful of this one person, willing to listen to the viewpoint of this one person, tolerating different perspectives, to taking the garbage out on garbage day etc.?

[Annika L]

I am saying what's the point of getting married when you are not planing on staying committed to one person. Why stay in a marriage were suddenly you might want the opposite sex of your partner?

This question, if genuine, really seems to suggest a rather narrow understanding of desires among bisexuals (or people generally) and of what can constitute an acceptable and fulfilling partnership/marriage.

Ok, fair: if you *enter* the relationship planning on screwing around behind your partner's back, and/or walking out at the first sign of shifting interests, then I see no non-selfish reasons for entering into the relationship to begin with.

But I honestly doubt this happens often. I think it most likely that people end up screwing around because communication, working out compromises, and self-control are more difficult than just muddling through life...like a high-stakes version of "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission." It's a fact that I may not like, but I think is likely. People tell themselves they *can* remain faithful; they *aren't* interested in whatever sex any more; their partner *is* enough for them...until they discover this simply isn't the case. Not one of us has perfect self-understanding, in the short-term or the long-term.

Why stay in (or get into) a marriage/partnership when you might some day want the other sex? Quite possibly because you love your partner, and want to make things work with them? Because you think you can? Because you've never felt this way about another person before, and you might *not* ever want sex with anyone else? Because you assume you and your partner will cross that bridge when you come to it...after all, plenty of couples work out non-monogamous arrangements that work perfectly well for them. Because you have as much right to happiness as anyone else?

[Mickie]

I came on this forum to try to get a better grasp on bisexuality from those who know it best. Frankly what I've seen, with a few outstanding exceptions, is a lot of wishful thinking, a lot of telling like they wish it was, and backslapping for figuring out how to be deceitful. Oh, and a whole lot of unattractive backbiting and criticism between factions. I am sincerely hoping this is NOT representative of bisexuality, that kind of understanding was not what I was hoping for.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Can you not commit to other points than monogamy: love this one person, being truthful to this one person, respectful of this one person, willing to listen to the viewpoint of this one person, tolerating different perspectives, to taking the garbage out on garbage day etc.?

Oh, honey that's bullshit. With you being pro of cheating bisexuals, love can be useless four letter word. What happens if a straight woman allows her bisexual husband to have male partner on the side, and the two males need catching feelings for one another? What then? Is she suppose to be the good little wife and watch her husband be happy with someone that she cannot compete? To be honest about it, whenever I come here, or read any other story about a bisexual man in a relationship with a woman it's always about HIM, AND HIS NEEDS ONLY. I rarely see stories of women being fully satisfied because she' too busy putting her bisexual boyfriend first.

[Annika L]

Mickie, we are what we are. We're no better and no worse than any other kind of people. I'm sorry if we're a disappointing lot to you, but when I look at *any* online forum (on virtually any controversial topic), I see a bunch of wankers defending some view I find repulsive, a bunch of pointless attacks coming from and at all sides, a bunch of people who spout platitudes, party lines, and wishful thinking, and a small number of insightful exceptions...and I end up sincerely hoping this distribution is NOT representative of humanity.

I read the insightful exceptions, and let them expand my worldview. I often read the offensive views as well, to help me "learn how the enemy thinks." If I'm in the right mood, I may also read some of the attacks and platitudes for humor value. But I don't write the forum expressing my disappointment with who they are (or how they represent themselves)...they are who they are.

Bisexual Virgin...with regards to men and with regards to women, what you describe is *not* ALL there is to read. And in what there is to read, in the proportions it occurs in, there are quite a few things one can learn. Yes, men cheating *is* truly common, as is women putting up with it (funny how those two facts go together). But there are plenty of other stories out there as well. You don't like those either? Sorry, these are the stories we have...it's not like we're holding the good ones back or something, and your complaint will get us to cough them up.

[csrakate]

Oh, honey that's bullshit. With you being pro of cheating bisexuals, love can be useless four letter word. What happens if a straight woman allows her bisexual husband to have male partner on the side, and the two males need catching feelings for one another? What then? Is she suppose to be the good little wife and watch her husband be happy with someone that she cannot compete? To be honest about it, whenever I come here, or read any other story about a bisexual man in a relationship with a woman it's always about HIM, AND HIS NEEDS ONLY. I rarely see stories of women being fully satisfied because she' too busy putting her bisexual boyfriend first.

My husband has never put me last....I am always first! My needs are just as important as his. I am insulted that you continue to bash bisexual men and I am also insulted that you classify us wives as being doormats.

BV, you are young and at your age, you've hardly had the time to have a long, sustaining relationship, much less a marriage, so please, don't assume you know what these relationships are like. I have had 32 wonderful years with my bisexual hubby And by the way, I am VERY satisfied!!!!:tongue:

[tenni]

Oh, honey that's bullshit. With you being pro of cheating bisexuals, love can be useless four letter word. What happens if a straight woman allows her bisexual husband to have male partner on the side, and the two males need catching feelings for one another? What then? Is she suppose to be the good little wife and watch her husband be happy with someone that she cannot compete? To be honest about it, whenever I come here, or read any other story about a bisexual man in a relationship with a woman it's always about HIM, AND HIS NEEDS ONLY. I rarely see stories of women being fully satisfied because she' too busy putting her bisexual boyfriend first.

BV

You make a lot of accusations and suppositions. It is not cheating if you do not commit to monogamy. Your partner will know and hopefully communication happens to set rules etc. Bisexual or non monoganous relationships should not be about competition if they are to be a healthy relationship. Yes, it is difficult not to feel jealousy and fears of inadequacy and insecurity. Listen to CSKate.

I think that all have agreed to your OP question. It seems to be a matter of when for many. We now seem to have floated to a side bar beyond mere sexuality.

btw I am not pro cheating. I understand why some cheat and empathize with some bisexual's plight under current societal attitudes.

[12voltman59]

When it comes to the acceptability of a "poly marriage" by society---I think that thanks to the misogamist type Mormons and other religious groups that do that, even though it is illegal and they so often are lead by people like that Jeffers guy--who was given a series of life sentences for raping kids---this will be something that will be a long time if ever being accepted and allowed----so for bisexuals who would like to have such a legal situation----having two partners--one of each gender----it is going to have to be something that people do way under the radar.

If you think the teavangelicals get all stoked up over same-sex marriage---they will really go ballistic if people start to clamor for poly marriages---that would serve their narrative that says: "What next? What if a man wants to marry his dog, or a goat or sheep? What about if he wants to marry a cadaver or a doll?? There will be no end to who and what people will want to marry---I saw a show the other night on the National Geographic channel about people who have fallen in love with things like a doll, their car or a building and they have sex with those things!! Such things as are an abomination before God!!!"

[The Bisexual Virgin]

My husband has never put me last....I am always first! My needs are just as important as his. I am insulted that you continue to bash bisexual men and I am also insulted that you classify us wives as being doormats.

BV, you are young and at your age, you've hardly had the time to have a long, sustaining relationship, much less a marriage, so please, don't assume you know what these relationships are like. I have had 32 wonderful years with my bisexual hubby And by the way, I am VERY satisfied!!!!:tongue:

That's you and your husband. I am talking about other women that does not fall into your category.

[csrakate]

That's you and your husband. I am talking about other women that does not fall into your category.

Apparently you wish to dismiss those of us who are happy with our bisexual husbands in order to prove your point. No wonder your view is skewed. Sigh...your youth and inexperience is showing....and it's not pretty.

Let's face it, people are far more inclined to post the negative things about their relationships in a forum than to toot their own horns if everything is working. That's why you read so much about the negative. You still have no basis to bash bisexual men.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

When it comes to the acceptability of a "poly marriage" by society---I think that thanks to the misogamist type Mormons and other religious groups that do that, even though it is illegal and they so often are lead by people like that Jeffers guy--who was given a series of life sentences for raping kids---this will be something that will be a long time if ever being accepted and allowed----so for bisexuals who would like to have such a legal situation----having two partners--one of each gender----it is going to have to be something that people do way under the radar.

If you think the teavangelicals get all stoked up over same-sex marriage---they will really go ballistic if people start to clamor for poly marriages---that would serve their narrative that says: "What next? What if a man wants to marry his dog, or a goat or sheep? What about if he wants to marry a cadaver or a doll?? There will be no end to who and what people will want to marry---I saw a show the other night on the National Geographic channel about people who have fallen in love with things like a doll, their car or a building and they have sex with those things!! Such things as are an abomination before God!!!"

And those people might need help.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Apparently you wish to dismiss those of us who are happy with our bisexual husbands in order to prove your point. No wonder your view is skewed. Sigh...your youth and inexperience is showing....and it's not pretty.

Let's face it, people are far more inclined to post the negative things about their relationships in a forum than to toot their own horns if everything is working. That's why you read so much about the negative. You still have no basis to bash bisexual men.

I am not bashing bisexual men. I just think that those who want play around, and fuck anyone they want too, needs to be single.

[Annika L]

I am not bashing bisexual men. I just think that those who want play around, and fuck anyone they want too, needs to be single.

Completely agreed...unless, of course, both partners are fully willing to engage in that kind of lifestyle. I don't think you'll see many people here disagreeing with you on this.

But the question you ask is "why do such people get married/partnered?" My response to you is that overwhelmingly, they don't. They marry/partner with the best of intentions, and only afterward discover what it is they have let themselves in for, and need to face difficult realities...some, such as CSRAkate's husband (and I'd like to think my partner and myself) face those realities in very productive and honest ways...others aren't that strong, or don't know how, or make mistakes. My point is that it doesn't make them bad people, and it *can* be understood...and it is something that *could* happen to you.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Completely agreed...unless, of course, both partners are fully willing to engage in that kind of lifestyle. I don't think you'll see many people here disagreeing with you on this.

But the question you ask is "why do such people get married/partnered?" My response to you is that overwhelmingly, they don't. They marry/partner with the best of intentions, and only afterward discover what it is they have let themselves in for, and need to face difficult realities...some, such as CSRAkate's husband (and I'd like to think my partner and myself) face those realities in very productive and honest ways...others aren't that strong, or don't know how, or make mistakes. My point is that it doesn't make them bad people, and it *can* be understood...and it is something that *could* happen to you.

I never said they were bad people. I am saying most women should not just sit around and wait for their husbands to come home after fucking a man. If there are women like that then fine by all means let those women put all their needs, and happiness in the damn garbage or flush it down it the toilet so her bisexual man can be happy fucking all the men he wants. And that way she can be the ideal wife for a bisexual man. Cook, clean, pop out a few kids, and be docile when she realizes his true preference that is surging up that have something she cannot fix. Do you know how many stories I read over the internet about men wanting fuck other men, or get fucked by them, so they decide to cheat on their wives? There are stories of men leaving their wives to be with his male lover because she could not satisfy all his needs? Or how about most men not finding their wives or women attractive anymore after a certain age?

[Annika L]

I never said they were bad people. I am saying most women should not just sit around and wait for their husbands to come home after fucking a man. If there are women like that then fine by all means let those women put all their needs, and happiness in the damn garbage or flush it down it the toilet so her bisexual man can be happy fucking all the men he wants. And that way she can be the ideal wife for a bisexual man. Cook, clean, pop out a few kids, and be docile when she realizes his true preference that is surging up that have something she cannot fix. Do you know how many stories I read over the internet about men wanting fuck other men, or get fucked by them, so they decide to cheat on their wives? There are stories of men leaving their wives to be with his male lover because she could not satisfy all his needs? Or how about most men not finding their wives or women attractive anymore after a certain age?

This is not what I'm talking about at all, and if it is all you are capable of seeing at this time, then I wish you healing, growth, and eventual enhanced perspective.

And yes, I have read plenty of stories about men (hetero, bi, and gay) who cheat, men (hetero and bi) who leave women, and men (hetero and bi) finding themselves no longer attracted to the women in their lives. But those are not the only stories I have read and heard, and those are not the only bisexual men I have known. If they are the only ones you can focus on, then again, I wish you healing, growth, and eventual enhanced perspective.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

This is not what I'm talking about at all, and if it is all you are capable of seeing at this time, then I wish you healing, growth, and eventual enhanced perspective.

And yes, I have read plenty of stories about men (hetero, bi, and gay) who cheat, men (hetero and bi) who leave women, and men (hetero and bi) finding themselves no longer attracted to the women in their lives. But those are not the only stories I have read and heard, and those are not the only bisexual men I have known. If they are the only ones you can focus on, then again, I wish you healing, growth, and eventual enhanced perspective.

Ummmm, yeah:rolleyes: