Understanding and accepting one's bisexuality

[bidirectional]

I now know that I am not alone. For many years I hid the fact of my desire to be with men from my wife. This desire has had adverse affects on my life and my marriage as well as self confidence issues and has contributed to some of my depression issues. I have been fighting these desires for a long time because I always thought that I shouldn't be feeling this. That I was supposed to be a good husband and father, and hetro. Now I know that there is another part of my sexuality that I can't ignore.

Late last year I came out to my wife about all my desires and feelings about being bisexual. I couldn't lie to myself or my wife anymore. She, of course, was hurt, angry, scared, frustrated, went thru the whole gambit of emotions, and shed a lot of tears. My worst fear was she was going to leave me. But she is still here with me and is doing her best to support me. My wife is super intelligent and seeks info where ever she can find it. She has gotten a better sense of what is going on with me and our relationship. To her I say "I Love you and thank you for understanding and supporting me".

She found this blog about bisexuality in married men and shared it with me because she says this particular post described my situation and mindset to a tee. I think she is right. I share the link with the collective.

http://ifidotherightthing.blogspot.com/2011/11/divided-bisexual-man.html?zx=58ef77e3d92bb306

For those that are becoming aware of their bisexual nature but are having issues dealing with your new found feelings you may benefit from these posts.

I may have to go back to this blogger's first post and work my way back up in chronological order. I think this person has some interesting insights on the married male bisexuality. I haven't read thru all of it yet but I would be interested in others' thoughts. I may have more comments as I digest it too.

http://ifidotherightthing.blogspot.com/

Bidi

[falcondfw]

I now know that I am not alone. For many years I hid the fact of my desire to be with men from my wife. This desire has had adverse affects on my life and my marriage as well as self confidence issues and has contributed to some of my depression issues. I have been fighting these desires for a long time because I always thought that I shouldn't be feeling this. That I was supposed to be a good husband and father, and hetro. Now I know that there is another part of my sexuality that I can't ignore.

Late last year I came out to my wife about all my desires and feelings about being bisexual. I couldn't lie to myself or my wife anymore. She, of course, was hurt, angry, scared, frustrated, went thru the whole gambit of emotions, and shed a lot of tears. My worst fear was she was going to leave me. But she is still here with me and is doing her best to support me. My wife is super intelligent and seeks info where ever she can find it. She has gotten a better sense of what is going on with me and our relationship. To her I say "I Love you and thank you for understanding and supporting me".

She found this blog about bisexuality in married men and shared it with me because she says this particular post described my situation and mindset to a tee. I think she is right. I share the link with the collective.

http://ifidotherightthing.blogspot.com/2011/11/divided-bisexual-man.html?zx=58ef77e3d92bb306

For those that are becoming aware of their bisexual nature but are having issues dealing with your new found feelings you may benefit from these posts.

I may have to go back to this blogger's first post and work my way back up in chronological order. I think this person has some interesting insights on the married male bisexuality. I haven't read thru all of it yet but I would be interested in others' thoughts. I may have more comments as I digest it too.

http://ifidotherightthing.blogspot.com/

Bidi

Bidi,

i truly congratulate you. You are coming to terms with your own inner self. More importantly, you have truly found someone who loves and supports you in every way. You are so lucky.

My journey went through hell and back to find someone who truly knew what the word "partner" means. You found it first time out. I hate you, but congratulations. lol.

To Mrs. Bidi, thank you for honoring your word and commitment and being a true wife and partner. When confronted with this kind of information, there are so few women willing to stick around and help or support. You have a lot of guts and courage ... and love.

I know it is not easy on either of you, but you both should be very proud for the courage, honesty, faithfulness, and love you have shown to each other. You are an example to us all, bi, straight, and gay.

[Long Duck Dong]

its a interesting blog of his journey and not one that I feel, devalues the blog, it enhances it in my eyes as part of his journey to knowing him as a person......and that makes it more readable to me cos the journey doesn't stop with the coming out and then woohoo sex with both genders..... it also deals with his wifes infidelity and his referring to himself as gay, even tho he is bisexual ( his understanding, not mine )

there are aspects of the blog that will annoy some people cos of aspects like the * I am bisexual but I ID as gay * thing......and in a way, my own issue with the blog, is that like many things written about bisexuality, its from the point of view of the bisexual male that wants to come out to his wife and have sex with other males....and that shows clearly in one respect......it ignores the people ( male and female bisexuals ) that are attracted to, and enjoy sex with and love both genders, as if they are not aspect of the bisexual community....

the first part is not a issue in that its his story... the second part, shows how much bisexual people tend to view bisexuality as a opposite gender relationship / marriage partner and a casual sex, same gender partner..... they tend to ignore the bisexual in a same sex relationship and seeking opposite gender sexual fulfillment....and the bisexual that is coming out to a partner cos they are poly bisexuals that need long term partners of both genders.....

that aside.... its still a very good blog to read

hugs for you and your wife.... for most, its not a case of coming out then on the net the next day cruising... its a long term labour of love, trust, talking and understanding for both people.....and even when we come out to a partner, they like us, are still growing and learning so it can be a incredible journey for both

as a old man once told me, its a fool that tries to walk alone and still hold peoples hands....wise people walk each path together arm in arm....

[pepperjack]

Yes, you're a very fortunate man.

[Paddarick69]

thank you Bidirectional, fantastic articles