Major Lacking...sigh

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I know this is going to come as a shock to those who know me well. (In fact Richard will probly fall out of his chair) But it seems my normally in over drive Libido has finally went Pffffffft (Razzberry)
I used to have a very high sex drive, and it was nothing for me to take a couple of lover's at a time into the Dark Room. (Small dimmly lit room at our sex club party place) or was nothing for me to get an orgy going for a few hours. Since the surgery in May, the drive has more or less when into Park. I even tried playing at the Play Party this last weekend, and Did suck a couple sweet hard cocks, and talked dirty to a pretty Trans-lady who was being pleasured, but I didnt really get turned on one Iota. :eek2: I know this can be common for women of my age, but I was hoping it wouldnt for a while yet. Looks like its back to my holistic methods that I used to employ, and try to bring that libido back on line.

Anyone else, men or women, had this prob?
Sad Cat

[Long Duck Dong]

well cat... welcome to the DIEsexual community lol
..

unfortunately, hun what you are dealing with, is one of the things that is used as a reason for guys tomcatting around with other people, and your post goes to show that you still have wants, needs and desires yourself, you are still a sexual person, its just that your * get up and go, got up and went that way >>>>>>>> *

just cos your eveready bunny is having a holiday as the easter bunny, doesn't mean that you can not suck, lick, stroke and caress with the best of them.... and it doesn't make you any less of a very desirable woman.... just a lady whose kitten making days are over...... and that is something that a lot of ladies, and also guys, have to face at times......

a lady and a guy that is a diesexual, is still a person that can be loved, hugged, cuddled and treated like a queen or king by the people that value them as people, and not just * discarded * and seen as head dish washer, house cleaner and bed warmer while the partner is out tomcatting...... its a quaranteed way to really make a person feel like shit, when they are suddenly not seen for the valuable person they are.......

I know for guys, there are options like horny goat weed, viagra, cialis etc.... but for the ladies, there is not really that much of a range on offer, its almost as if a ladies sexual interests are not really seen as something that needs to be worried about, unless the guys are not getting some...... unless you want to use creams, injections and meds that can have nasty side effects, like the headache which is the last thing you want when it comes to sex......

I not sure about others in the site, but yes, I am a DIEsexual too..... so cat, between you and me, we need to start a pride parade and a support group for the DIEsexuals... lol..... and now that you have a lil more time on your hands or with them :tongue: you could start writing that book that we are all wanting to read... Cats quide to getting pussies to purr or was it, 1001 ways to get revenge on a tomcat by claude balls....

hugs ya hun... and please post some of the cats secret ladies libido recipes, cos I would say there are some ladies that would be interested in them.......thats if they are not top secret recipes where you could tell us but then you would have to set our mouths and fingers to work to stop us sharing the ancient wisdom.....

as for the members in the site, that have gone after me because of my lack of a sex drive and used that as a attempt to devalue my opinions and input in the site..... I dare you to come after cat and try the same crap....cos if you can't, its further proof as to why I am more of a man than you will ever be and that cat has proven that a lady is still lovable, cherished and has wants needs and desires that a partner needs to consider before they * write * a woman off because they are a DIEsexual....

[falcondfw]

Cat,
Everyone can see my age from my profile.
Most of the time, I am an EXTREMELY horny bugger. ALL the time. It drives me crazy, because obviously, I can't indulge when I am at work or at other times and my ex NEVER had anywhere near the drive I did.
When I was younger, it was 24/7/365.
Now though, as I am getting older, there are days and times when I don't even want to hear the words "horny" or "sex".
It shocked me at first. Because of my past. But now, it just is.

your friendly bird of prey (most of the time)

[DuckiesDarling]

Hugs ya my favorite pussy... I swear there are times with all the meds I'm on that I have no interest whatsoever in anything sexual, thankfully those times pass quite quickly but I have other things to talk to my man about other than sex so we know that long after there is no sexual interest on either side we'll still be able to have conversations and intimacy.

[csrakate]

as for the members in the site, that have gone after me because of my lack of a sex drive and used that as a attempt to devalue my opinions and input in the site..... I dare you to come after cat and try the same crap....cos if you can't, its further proof as to why I am more of a man than you will ever be and that cat has proven that a lady is still lovable, cherished and has wants needs and desires that a partner needs to consider before they * write * a woman off because they are a DIEsexual....

As much as you may wish this thread to be yet another one about you, LDD, Cat does not have to accept your title of DIEsexual....because she is far from it! Now if we can get back to the topic at hand.....

Cat...I feel your pain....as do many women in our age group. BUT....you can fight this....whether with medicine or alternative methods....you can fight it! I suffered for months after my hysterectomy. My libido was out of whack...but even when I desired sex, my ability to achieve orgasm had diminished and that was quite frustrating. Lucky for me I have a very understanding and knowledgeable spouse.....and he stood by me as we tried method after method...Everything from topical creams to herbal remedies...and finally we settled for the good old fashioned medical approach. I was very honest with my gynecologist and believe me, it wasn't easy for me to do. I'm still a bit "old school" when it comes to talking about my sex life with a doctor...but I opened up to her and let her know my concerns. We tried many combinations of hormones....and finally....after many attempts of finding the right combination..we struck gold with Estrotest....part estrogen and part testosterone. I not only have a very healthy libido, my orgasms are almost "frightening" in intensity!!!! (like that is really a problem! LOL!!!) Whatever you decide to do, don't give up. You are a very sexual woman and it's part of who you are. There is nothing written that says you have to accept this new development with your body. FIGHT IT! I know you can!!

Intimacy isn't purely about sex and not everyone needs sex to survive....but women very often accept that they are "dried up" at a certain age and they don't seek out the remedy. Our bodies play a very mean trick on us....part of that whole "you can no longer conceive therefore you don't need sexual urges" game....but times have changed...people have changed....and women have every right to be just as sexual as they wish to be. There are lots of options and you should make it a priority to research them. Indulge yourself and take your time to find the right method.....you are allowed to make this about YOU! You are NOT a DIEsexual.....far from it. You're still just as sexual as ever....cause your mind ain't going no damn where!!! hehe We all know of your naughty mind....and how it can spin lots of naughty tales.....hmmmm....maybe you need to be writing down those frustrations.....turn them into a novel....."Fifty Shades of Sexual Frustrations and How I Overcame Them".

[Long Duck Dong]

fuck me kate, DIEsexual is a joke term, it doesn't exist in any medical or counselling books and the term actually came about with me joking with a friend about how their sex drive had *died * and I said I would give it CPR if they would just open their legs, AS A JOKE !!!!!!!!!!!!

btw cats lack of libido is not about me..... but your issue with me is.....

[csrakate]

Silly Man....I don't have an issue with your term "DIEsexual" ....it's quite cute, actually....But you obviously can't or won't see the point of the rest of my post...You have insisted on dredging up the old arguments that you have had, once more insisting on being a victim. Sigh...it does get old....so very old.

[i_shoot_blanks]

Oooooohhhhhh Miss Kitty, I think you are still one of the most lovely, sexy, desirable ladies on this site and I would still love to be fortunate enough to meet you some day. Of course if that ever happened I would worry about my heath being ruined!!!! I'm ahead of you by about 13 years and as we grow older, sometimes the desires change/decrease a little. I think that your body is probably still adjusting to your surgery. My thought is keep on trying!!! Miss Kate had a lot of very interesting things to say and hopefully there is something available that will help you. If things don't begin to improve, have that heart to heart with you doctor.
Please remeber, there is a dirty ol' man in SE Arizona that thinks you are one lovely, desirable lady.

[void()]

Intimacy isn't purely about sex and not everyone needs sex to survive.

Thanks for this. I often get aggravated in folks whom seem to perceive that sex is all there is to life, love. Love is not easy, requires a bit of work and at times sacrifice. Any work or sacrifice, when there is love, isn't seen as work or sacrifice.

Cat, can only tell you that after a spell you can be comfortable with yourself. Sometimes it bugs me not following the stereotypical 'constantly horny' male image. Ultimately, come to realize I'm fine being me. Those who know and love me, love me for being me. If they don't, I don't place much value in them.

[elian]

A good friend of mine told me that he thinks I have a high sex drive, with all of the mastrubation it's hard for me to tell.

Having said that I should point out that you can't spend ALL of your time in the bedroom, I would daresay at least 80% of it is probably OUTSIDE the bedroom. One of the reasons I think I am bisexual is because at a very young age I learned how good it felt to just to HOLD people, to be next to them, to feel their warmth. Nevermind some boys got ahold of me young and made it so I get in trouble trying to tell the difference between SEX and LOVE but often times I find myself just wishing for someone to nuzzle, kiss and hold - and you don't need sex drive for that. I think you are beautiful woman Cat because I know that you have a good and loving heart. If you mean rather, "The mind is willing but the flesh is weak" - I guess it happens to everyone. I gave a good friend of mine a massage once, men sometimes feel pressure to "perform". Because of medication he cannot have an erection but it was okay - I was just happy to be able to make him feel better, even without sex. In the process of giving we also receive.

What is frustrating about wanting to be affectionate toward most people is that you have to be afraid of showing at least 50% of the people you love how you truly feel about them.

[onewhocares]

[Cat...I feel your pain....as do many women in our age group. BUT....you can fight this....whether with medicine or alternative methods....you can fight it! I suffered for months after my hysterectomy. My libido was out of whack...but even when I desired sex, my ability to achieve orgasm had diminished and that was quite frustrating. Lucky for me I have a very understanding and knowledgeable spouse.....and he stood by me as we tried method after method...Everything from topical creams to herbal remedies...and finally we settled for the good old fashioned medical approach. I was very honest with my gynecologist and believe me, it wasn't easy for me to do. I'm still a bit "old school" when it comes to talking about my sex life with a doctor...but I opened up to her and let her know my concerns. We tried many combinations of hormones....and finally....after many attempts of finding the right combination..we struck gold with Estrotest....part estrogen and part testosterone. I not only have a very healthy libido, my orgasms are almost "frightening" in intensity!!!! (like that is really a problem! LOL!!!) Whatever you decide to do, don't give up. You are a very sexual woman and it's part of who you are. There is nothing written that says you have to accept this new development with your body. FIGHT IT! I know you can!!

Intimacy isn't purely about sex and not everyone needs sex to survive....but women very often accept that they are "dried up" at a certain age and they don't seek out the remedy. Our bodies play a very mean trick on us....part of that whole "you can no longer conceive therefore you don't need sexual urges" game....but times have changed...people have changed....and women have every right to be just as sexual as they wish to be. There are lots of options and you should make it a priority to research them. Indulge yourself and take your time to find the right method.....you are allowed to make this about YOU! You are NOT a DIEsexual.....far from it. You're still just as sexual as ever....cause your mind ain't going no damn where!!! hehe We all know of your naughty mind....and how it can spin lots of naughty tales.....hmmmm....maybe you need to be writing down those frustrations.....turn them into a novel....."Fifty Shades of Sexual Frustrations and How I Overcame Them".[/QUOTE]

I agree with Kate. I have always been a woman with a very high libido. The transition of being married to a gay man as opposed to a bi man took a toll on me, at times. I thought that I might not be desirable to other men. Well, I am fortunate that during those bouts of self doubt, I would meet a man who was interested in me and well all those hot desires came back. I would do anything you have to try and find a good medical fix to the problems.

You are on hot and sex Cat....and with lucky...that will live on through all of your nine lives.

Belle in Boston

[Long Duck Dong]

Silly Man....I don't have an issue with your term "DIEsexual" ....it's quite cute, actually....But you obviously can't or won't see the point of the rest of my post...You have insisted on dredging up the old arguments that you have had, once more insisting on being a victim. Sigh...it does get old....so very old.

I am not a victim of the naysayers, they are victims of their own ignorance and egos... and when the viagra stops working, they may realise why a crone is so valuable

I live the old ways, so a lady is seen as a maiden / mother / crone... and the crone term refers to a lady that is past child bearing age, so her wisdom, knowledge and understanding becomes very very valuable, their value is not lost but increased in the eyes of people like me and the term crone is like a title of priestess.... I have seen threads in the site about ladies having lost their sex drive / libido and the way some guys act is as if the woman has lost value as a person and they place value on themselves cos they can get a erection.....I do not see people in terms of sexual activity cos its not a true mark of a persons value

the ladies in this thread have the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of how to deal with a lost libido and how to rock worlds when they do not have one..... and that there is proof as to why a crone was so revered in the old days by the males..... and why I said, I dare my naysayers to try and devalue cat in the way they tried with me....

anyways, as for natural herbs and stuff, there is horny goat weed, ashwagandha root, sarsaparilla, muira puama, black cohosh etc.... black cohosh is a herb that has estrogen in it, so it can be good for the ladies...... but I am still interested in cats natural remedies....

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Very well put Ladies, and I thank you for your love and encouragement. Ya'll know what I'm going through, so you understand because of "Been there, done that" sydrome.:} Hugs to you all.

Well Duck, theres all kinds of herbal remedies that I had to stop taking because of the hemmoraging because they contain natural blood thinners, and that only caused the bleeding to be worse. Same for Asprin--I'm allergic, and it causes massive nose bleeds, and if it "That" time..i'm in trouble. I have to be careful with some pain releavers because they too contain asprin, or an Nsaid.

And for natural herbs: Black Cohosh, Golden Seal Rod, Ground Damiana, or in tea leaf form. L'Anine, Rose Hips, Passion Flower ground (Horny goat weed) which folks have to be careful with because it increases blood pressure. (Check out a bottle of it and it'll tell you "Do not take if you have high blood pressure.) There are several other holistic methods that I cant think of at the moment, but will try some for sure. This has gotten so bad that its even affecting my writing. I cant write erotics if I first cannot "Feel" them, and thats bad.

Thanks to all of you for your compliments and encouragement. It means alot to me....*Blushes*
Hugzz
Cat

[darkeyes]

Best I can make out Duckie just called u ole crone, Cat:yikes2:... not ver nice is it? Think I wud pay him a visit if I were u and show 'im that yas owt but... *laffs*... glad I don't live ole ways if callin' the luffly Cat an ole crone is best they can come up wiv...;) *stirs cauldron*

Me mum has sporadically had times when she was right off it.. used 2 drive me dad mental... but she says positive mind, finding out what 'er body lacked and how run down she may be (she has a tendency to anaemia), eat healthily and few weeks wivout 'er rudies and she was right as rain... always put a smile on ole goat's lil chops... if natural remedies work forya triff... mum is big in2 homeopathy and that's wot she turns 2 wen not feeling right.. wen I become an ole "crone" *laffs* an' go off it, maybe I will do same... I know u won't take it lyin' down Cat.. well u mite, but not not feelin' like a lil naughties...:kiss: Cat ole crone indeed *laffs*...

[DuckiesDarling]

Best I can make out Duckie just called u ole crone, Cat:yikes2:... not ver nice is it? Think I wud pay him a visit if I were u and show 'im that yas owt but... *laffs*... glad I don't live ole ways if callin' the luffly Cat an ole crone is best they can come up wiv...;) *stirs cauldron*

Me mum has sporadically had times when she was right off it.. used 2 drive me dad mental... but she says positive mind, finding out what 'er body lacked and how run down she may be (she has a tendency to anaemia), eat healthily and few weeks wivout 'er rudies and she was right as rain... always put a smile on ole goat's lil chops... if natural remedies work forya triff... mum is big in2 homeopathy and that's wot she turns 2 wen not feeling right.. wen I become an ole "crone" *laffs* an' go off it, maybe I will do same... I know u won't take it lyin' down Cat.. well u mite, but not not feelin' like a lil naughties...:kiss: Cat ole crone indeed *laffs*...

Fran, stop trying to start shit. You don't understand or respect our religion that's fine, but Cat is well aware of the revered status of all stages of woman in our faith.

Now, Cat, my favorite pussy... it sucks that there are so many things you can't utilize to help while dealing with other health issues. The allergies.. yuck. I'd be in a world of trouble right now if I couldn't take some things. You just keep hanging in there, darling. I'm sure that with all the people on this forum someone can come up with something that can get you going again without causing more issues in the long run. Hugs ya tight and whispers... I just might get Duck up to see you sometime :)

[Long Duck Dong]

well fran, you may become a old crone, but I would never call you grandmother.........

hugs mama cat and sits at her feet.....

[darkeyes]

Fran, stop trying to start shit. You don't understand or respect our religion that's fine, but Cat is well aware of the revered status of all stages of woman in our faith.


I do sometimes wonder just where ur sense of humour is.. if Duckie lived in the country he was born trust me.. he..like me and just about everyone else, would have far more piss taking to put up with than any I will ever dish out... and u can trust me on this too.. religion (any religion) is not a taboo subject for piss-taking in this country..and as it happens I didn't even consider religion when I posted.. we r pretty irreverent lot and very little is sacred.. that does not mean to say we do not have respect... it does mean to say we take the piss a lot and can laugh at ourselves and those things we hold most dear..

God..tf for the NHS..:impleased

[darkeyes]

well fran, you may become a old crone, but I would never call you grandmother.........

Funny that..neither will I.. ;)

[elian]

There are several other holistic methods that I cant think of at the moment, but will try some for sure. This has gotten so bad that its even affecting my writing. I cant write erotics if I first cannot "Feel" them, and thats bad.



My one friend took a Tai Chi class given by a lady in her late 70's and he was sure that the instructor was having orgasms by "breath" alone...as a naturally curious person I would've liked to witness that..

[wanderingrichard]

Cat,
I have a feeling that you just need to wait a bit. Your body is still recovering from a lot of shocks over the last 2-3 years. I think it's all catching up to you...2 months from now, you'll be capturing men and women cave woman style like you used to at campout.

I remember what you told me about panax ginseng and horny goat weed. i dont mix them any more and i found a lower dose HGW that doesnt give me headaches from elevated blood pressure... but, you know me , girlie, i hardly use the stuff after i buy it, so its sitting in the med cabinet wasting away.. problably toss it when i get back home to K.

Time for some of your own medical advice hun... divert the mind and body, it's not the time right now to be writing and frolicking, even though your brain is craving it. Listen to the other ladies too... and don't take NO for an answer.

BTW, i walked into a store on the Waccamaw Res last Sunday, and this old man said, "Coyote, your friend Cat needs a new lover" there were only the 2 of us in the store... I nearly fainted. On the drive back that night, i remembered you'd had a similar incident in California years ago.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

You may be right, Old Friend. My Doc told me the same thing. The hemmoraging for those 2 years took a hell of alot out of me, and its taking time for my body to restore itself. I just ha ve to be patiant and Let it. So its time to get the Novellas published and slow down a bit....sigh.

And that incident took place up here at Mount St Helens when the ex BF and I went into the trading post there. Gotta love those elders---they're a hell of alot smarter than we are..lol
And as for finding a new lover..I dunno. Lately, I'm more entertaining the notion of finding me some good ole comfortable man and settling down, and letting my wild ways go tame.......Naw. The libido will be back eventually. Its still my goal to have Geo visit our place of pleasure again so I can wear Him out one more time..like I did last year..lol (Yes, I broke the Sexagizer Bunny) :}

Thank you all for the loving ear. Your Cat will be back to normal soon...hopefully...If not, then I'll curl up on a hearth somewhere and be happy...lol
PS I didnt take offense to Duck using the word Crone. I wanted to bop him for a brief second, but only lovingly..lol I understood his terminology, so its all good.
DD. Ya'll come on up. I'm sure we can find all Kinds of fun and mischief to get into...LOL (Shup Rich) :P
Cat

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Choots, if I ever get to go to AZ again, I'll let you know a couple of months in advance so you can start taking your vitamins early..lol
Hugs Darlin.
Silly Cat.

[i_shoot_blanks]

Quote from Miss Kitty:
"And as for finding a new lover..I dunno. Lately, I'm more entertaining the notion of finding me some good ole comfortable man and settling down, and letting my wild ways go tame.......Naw. The libido will be back eventually. Its still my goal to have Geo visit our place of pleasure again so I can wear Him out one more time..like I did last year..lol (Yes, I broke the Sexagizer Bunny) :}"

That sounds much better, darlin Kitty. My podietrist, a sharp young guy, always tells me, "Listen to your body". Maybe your body is just not ready, not totally combat ready yet. I can tell you from personal experience, after losing my prostate and half of the erection controlling nerves, eight weeks after surgery I could have an orgasm, not real intense, and my penis, though sensitive, would not change size at all. Today (actually a couple of days ago) my penis, though not completely hard, does grow and stiffen enough to achieve penetration, and my orgasms are ....... wwwooooowwwwww!!!

[The Black Knights]

I don't know what to tell you, Cat. I had to check your profile to see your age before I answered. Not knowing what kind of surgery you had, all I can say is that I think your sex drive will rebound once you are fully recovered from your surgery. Now, one has to figure that sooner or later, aging will cause the sex drive to diminish...some, without other things factoring in. I am about a decade and a half younger than you and I have not had any issues with my drive. But the difference is that; 1) I am a guy 2) I have been blessed not to have had any major surgeries (knock on wood) and I have stayed fairly healthy and 3) my sex drive has actually gone up in the last decade or so, partially due to having had far more opportunity to explore and express myself sexually than I did in my 20s and most of my 30s. I honestly had to repress my libido more than use it when I was younger for a few reasons (another story for another day). Most folk have it happen the other way around. Now, I am not saying you have not done such, but you have done more stuff for a longer time than I have. That may factor in. Still, do not panic, get healthy, and don't give up your libido without a fight. I have seen the same in others, and they have gotten it together. You can too.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ty Knights. Oh believe me, just as little as 5 years ago, I had a Majorly functioning Libido, and could break folks several years my junior..(Rich is over then nodding slowly) LOL
I know age and time catches up to all of us eventually, and for Some women the sex drive vanishes after a proceedure like a Hysterectomy. (Which is what I wanted), while with others, it only In creases it. I guess I'm kinda caught in thew middle. Sometimes my brain gets erotic and my body goes Pfffftttt (Razzberry) Its life, it happens. So, I guess I just work things out the best way I can and go from there..lol Guess its a good thing I dont live out in the country, or it would be me, the garden, getting the Novellas turned into E-Books, and having a million Cats...LOL
Hugs to you all. :}
Cat