The sex is very painful?

[BusyBody84]

I have a sexual partner who is just a good friend of mine. We are both bi-sexual, and on the down low. We have sex whenever we can, but I always do it to him. Well last night he wanted to have sex with me. I wanted it so bad after foreplay, but was really nervous. I agreed to do it anyway since I was horny. He started off with doing a rim job on me, and then he started to finger me with lube on his fingers. We started kissing to distract me from him entering me, but it got really painful, I told him to stop. I had pillows under the lower part of my back, and I tried to relax as much as I can, but couldn't. How can I relax more? I tried guiding him in me, but it hurted...we tried doing it anyway hoping that the pain will just go away, I let him just go all the way in me, but although it felt good, it hurted at the sametime so he slowly pulled out. Any advice will be helpful.

[bityme]

Sounds like you were on your back. Even with pillows, holding your legs up produces extra muscle tension. Try doggy style with pillows under your stomach. It may be that he is just too large for you at this point. If you are intent on bottoming for him you may need to work your way up to it first by becoming comfortable with a small dildo and then using others of increasing size.

[Long Duck Dong]

I agree with bityme...... it was pretty much what I was going to say, tho I was going to ask a couple of questions and ask for you to describe the pain as it can help us determine what may be the issue.....

anal sex for the first time, can be like a lady losing her virginity, that area of the body can stretch and accommodate cocks and dildos, so the pain could be a type of stretching pain, the way you are being penetrated may be causing it or you may be one of the people that may not be able to have anal sex without pain and thats not always cos the other person is too big, but that you may not be able to have anal sex.....

[elian]

Hmm..when you are sure you've used enough lube, put a little more on. You said that even with fingers it hurt. Different people have different pain thresholds and if you aren't used to that feeling then it can hurt. Your body needs time to adjust to those feelings.

Trust and paitence are important. Horny impatience is not your friend here, people in porn have a whole staff to help them "perform" and they do all sorts of things off camera that you do not see. if you have not already, you need to spend some time with yourself to see what you enjoy. Get a small dildo, a lot of lube and try with yourself, on your own first. If you do use fingers be sure that they are trimmed...and again enough lube.

I think that more men would try if they realized how close to multi-orgasmic it makes them. However, some people really do not like anal sex and that's okay too - although you did say it felt good but painful. I tend to think that we should treat our bodies well, I have heeard of people who continuously ram horse sized things into themselves over the course of years and then wonder why they have health problems later on in life.

[cornholejoe]

do it doggy

[sexual26]

As some one who enjoys anal after long periods I tend to get real tight. To help me be ready when I do intend to play I go take a nice warm shower and play with myself fingering and loosening myself up not to mention being in the shower helps if it's messy and it doesn't hurt to take a small toy in with you and use it once you get used to your fingers. It sounds to me like your just nervous and you need to work you way up to his size like the others before me stated. Hope this helps.

ps Play with it like you would a womans vagina (in a way) if you were tring to finger her to orgasm rub on it like you would a ladies clit.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Darlin, a tiny amount of a good Desensitizer being rubbed into your ass will decrease the amount of pain you're feeling, but Only a tiny amount. Also, it sounds like you are tightening up, not intending to. Get as aroused as possible before you have him penatrate you, but definately think of the Deadener. It helps when I use it on men..:}
Good luck, Hon. ;}
Cat

[twoforone16]

I agree with CAT that is what I do after a long time without any cock

[samillert]

I agree with ost everything everyone said, on your belly or squating on to his cock works best for me, but most important is time, patients and work yourself out first. At least weekly I three or four finger my ass in the shower with lube, it helps clean you out and keeps you lose. I have never had to much lub, but I have had to little and it hurt. Also if they are long and start hitting things inside it can be uncomfortable. Also the first couple times your prostrate gets tapped it is a little discomfortable. Hang in there, it is great, bare back, if you know and trust is the best, the skin on skin is better then rubber in the middle and feeling someone shot cum deep in you is AWESOME!

[Rockstarcherry]

You also have to push out as he's pushing in. It will help you open more. And like everyone else has said, lots of lube. For me, when my husband does this he has to back off for a minute just after penetration and then when he goes back in it's fine. Good luck. :)

[onesucker4u]

I play with small dildos,so, when I finally found an average to small dick, I got it all slobbery, straddled him, and with little pokes, ever deeper, got 4" in and the pain stopped quickly. I have found I do NOT like any more than 3 or 4" and cant enjoy anything big around. Just the right size is heaven. ANY GUYS IN DFW WANNA LET ME RIDE THEIR DICK?