why can't men take NO for an answer?

[jennylynne]

Respect when a lady says no UGH

[chicagom]

Unfortunately you get all kinds.

[Meliss]

Respect when a lady says no UGH To many movies have equated no as meaning not yet, think of it as the adult version of "are we there yet?" : )

[jennylynne]

Rolling my eyes

[tenni]

You have not given specific scenarios and so here is my shot in the dark. Remember that you asked why they can/won't accept no.

Some guys are just pig headed and think that if they persist they will be rewarded. For some, the role of testosterone may play a role. Now, that is not justifiable but it may very well play a role. You have heard of the little head controlling the bigger head in guys? Some may be reinforced with false courage (booze ) even clouding their rational judgement even more is another possibility.


It is like some guys in a bar will be very cautious about approaching a woman to even talk to her. Other guys (yes goofy) will hit on a woman and she rejects him. He won’t even walk a foot away before asking another woman to talk dance etc. That kind of guy has over ridden his fear of rejection. He has found /been reinforced in the past that if he keeps asking some woman will eventually say yes.

That's my explanation as a guy who will shy away and not even ask..to hear you say no...lol There are all kinds of guys.

[chook]

Well on the other side of the coin...........Why cant women say yes more often??????? :) And for the record to me NO means NO just thought I'd get that in before you all get yer flaps in a twist :yikes2:

[darkeyes]

Bit of a general inference the title, isn't it? Most do and usually in remarkably good grace.... a goodly minority will push their luck with their persistence, often out of arrogance.. octopi... some of the worst are those trying to impress their m8s... quite a few in drink and drugs.. a lot just cocky and full of themselves and some out of an innate misogyny.. mostly a bit of firm "no-ing" does get the message over if they persist, a litte more expressive "Get lost dickhead-ing" if needed... but generally, most men do take no for an answer.. not all by a long chalk, but most... some, as I say, eventually.. if they didn't, rape, far too common as it serpently is, would be increased 1000 fold and maybe more...

[Yoyome100]

I understand that something real and important to caused you to make such a sweeping generalization, but I've found avoiding such group stereotyping best. I'm a male and understand no is a viable answer to many questions. Having said that I'm guessing I probably would not have asked the question you said no to. Hope everything's OK.

[Long Duck Dong]

Respect when a lady says no UGH

why do i get the feeling that you are talking about the chat room lol

part of the trouble is that we live in a world of * my rights * and its causing issues, there has even been posts and threads in the site where people have posted that marriage means entitlement to regular sex and that a partner has no right to say no to sex....

if the issue is within the site and you are being harassed, all I can suggest is that you block the person, mention the issue to others in the chat room ( if its happening in there ) and if its getting out of hand.... contact drew, he is the site owner and he will deal with the issue....

if its outside of the site, well a swift kick between the legs can work.......

either way, I can not make excuses for some males behievour, just apologize on behalf of the rest of the males

[dm330]

Don't feel too bad. Sometimes they can't take no for an answer even from other guys lol.

[tristancir]

I don't think you meant all men all the time. Will there be times when some will be persistent? Of course. That will never change.

[DuckiesDarling]

Respect when a lady says no UGH

For the same reason all threads get certain posts.. just ignore/block if it's here, if it's real life try to ignore if that doesn't work consider restraining order :yikes2:

[darkeyes]

If it is 'bout hassle in chat, do what I used to do... scream in large block type... "Get outa me privates"..that usually sorted them... if they persisted did the same and named them.... and then there are the other options Duckie mentioned... most guys were ok in chat.. some wer pains in arse.. but most weren't...can't say bout now tho... least not the kind of pain in arse Duckie brought up:eek2:...

[jennylynne]

The situation is this. Some guy I met here was sending me pictures that I told him I was NOT interested in and he just kept on sending until I logged off. :( sigh... I didn't mean to be so general because I know there are a FEW good men out there. Based on my experiences VERY FEW. Anyway thanks for the advice and if any gentlemen that know how to behave want to chat feel free to contact me.

[Plumhead2]

Sometimes I am ashamed of the members of my gender. All people, women and men, should be treated with respect. The anonymity of chatrooms makes people think that the rules of respect can be ignored. They need to remember that there is a real person on the other end of the message. The sad thing is that just a few guys can make some woman leave this website, and the rest of us are all the worse for her leaving due to his bad manners. I hope you persevere and use whatever options you have to blunt this guy's actions.

[Meliss]

My experience is it was just the wrong person asking. Or the right person was asking and the timing was wrong for you. Some guys who are especially endowed whether muscles or anatomy brag with pictures. Not sure about how you are set up but I have to accept pictures. I might also ask you to consider this in a different light. Say you were feeling down after a break up or somehow felt bad. That unwanted attention might be preferable to have some person you smiled towards at a mall get all wierded out by your attentions. Frankly this is how life is, accept what is or CHOOSE to be disappointed and angry forever. There was an old serenity poem that went something like give me the knowledge to know what I can change and the power to change it, and the grace to accept what I can not change. If I want to change a person's actions I tell them what I expect and what I will do if the actions do not change. They decide if they want to change then.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

There's an easy solution to that, Sweetie. Grow a set of Claws and dont be afraid to use them when needed. Also, the block button here works Real well against pests, assholes, and Trolls...lol And I would drop a word to Drew, too. If the guy is sending you unwanted sexually nude shots, then report his ass..:}
Good luck :}
Cat

[wefco2315]

It has been said before in this post...but believe it or not...some of us do understand the word no and are very happy to oblige when told to do so!
If it means anything, May I apologize on behalf of all those dumba-- men that just don't seem to get it!?!?!?

I do hope your experiences here continue to be enjoyable ones!!!

[Gearbox]

The situation is this. Some guy I met here was sending me pictures that I told him I was NOT interested in and he just kept on sending until I logged off. :( sigh... I didn't mean to be so general because I know there are a FEW good men out there. Based on my experiences VERY FEW. Anyway thanks for the advice and if any gentlemen that know how to behave want to chat feel free to contact me.
You have a pic of a man wanking his cock on your profile. It's of the group 'Women who like watching men being together' that you're a member of.
Yip, those darn men just can't take 'NO' as an answer.........in that book your writing about your experiences in.:rolleyes:

Men don't need ANY help making fools of themselves Jannylynne, they really don't.lol

[tenni]

jennylynne is looking for:
Someone sweet and cool, I'm mostly a lesbian so good luck to the guys LOL.







Well you could tell these guys that you are what you post in your profile? ..mostly a lesbian. Do they persist when you tell them that?

[Randypan]

I was taught from an early age that no means no, then learned that no does not always mean no. On several occasion as a teenager and 20 something I might go in for a kiss, or hug and was told no and desisted as I was taught. I was then treated badly (name calling, rumors and outright hostility) because I did not persist, being told that no does not always mean no but sometimes convince me. I gave up on caring at that point and always treat no as no. It's safer than the alternative.

[chtampa]

A common difference in the sexes. When a guy says no, he has thought about it and no is a long term answer. When a girl says no, she means no right this minute, and that is subject to change in a moment. A sexist answer that happens to be mostly accurate. "No", "Please Don't", "Stop"========= "No, please don't stop" after a while.

[darkeyes]

A common difference in the sexes. When a guy says no, he has thought about it and no is a long term answer. When a girl says no, she means no right this minute, and that is subject to change in a moment. A sexist answer that happens to be mostly accurate. "No", "Please Don't", "Stop"========= "No, please don't stop" after a while.
A sexist answer about as accurate as the equally sexist claim that most men are rapists....

[tenni]

Actually darkeyes there is some truth to what chtampa states. Not all women are like this but some women do toy with men. My female dog loves other dogs to chase her too. There is a similarity with women...:yikes2:

Men do have to figure out when no means no and when it means maybe. Its tough...lol Best to do what Randy said. Let her tell you later ..you know I would have if you had persisted...lol That is different from rape by a few km. It is more in the game of flirtation.

[darkeyes]

Actually darkeyes there is some truth to what chtampa states. Not all women are like this but some women do toy with men. My female dog loves other dogs to chase her too. There is a similarity with women...:yikes2:

Men do have to figure out when no means no and when it means maybe. Its tough...lol Best to do what Randy said. Let her tell you later ..you know I would have if you had persisted...lol That is different from rape by a few km. It is more in the game of flirtation.
I know the game of sex and how it is played very often, tenni.. been there, done that and have a full set of winners medals... my point isn't that it never happens, but that not all women play it as inferred by chtampa.. and not all, myself included, play it all the time... most of the time no means precisely that except in certain narrowly defined set of circumstances when the game is played and we wish to collect that winners medal then no is changed to a yes..... and actually it is not only female dogs who are chased by other dogs is it??? Neither is it only female dogs who get humped at end of the chase;)...

[chtampa]

I know the game of sex and how it is played very often, tenni.. been there, done that and have a full set of winners medals... my point isn't that it never happens, but that not all women play it as inferred by chtampa.. and not all, myself included, play it all the time... most of the time no means precisely that except in certain narrowly defined set of circumstances when the game is played and we wish to collect that winners medal then no is changed to a yes..... and actually it is not only female dogs who are chased by other dogs is it??? Neither is it only female dogs who get humped at end of the chase;)...


I checked over my post and did not see "all " anywhere. And, I have known a lot of women over my life, but have not known any rapists, so I can't comment that on that generalization. I have been around long enough to know how men and women process thoughts differently. Maybe the guy did not take "no" for an answer because the girl "inferred" "yes"! Also, I have attempted to steer clear of women that have developed their "yes and no" abilities into a "game". I prefer the women that realize there is just a difference in how both sexes process thoughts. I love people that do not have an agenda. I have left the skilled agenda girls for the guys that still need the training as to what is acceptable behavior. Reread my post and don't add anything into it, I still believe it to be accurate in my experiences. Men and women are different, and I for one, am glad! Women tend to live in the moment and it helps to temper the linear thought processes of guys and makes the world happy. Maybe, not "all" the world, just us lucky ones!

[darkeyes]

I checked over my post and did not see "all " anywhere. And, I have known a lot of women over my life, but have not known any rapists, so I can't comment that on that generalization. I have been around long enough to know how men and women process thoughts differently. Maybe the guy did not take "no" for an answer because the girl "inferred" "yes"! Also, I have attempted to steer clear of women that have developed their "yes and no" abilities into a "game". I prefer the women that realize there is just a difference in how both sexes process thoughts. I love people that do not have an agenda. I have left the skilled agenda girls for the guys that still need the training as to what is acceptable behavior. Reread my post and don't add anything into it, I still believe it to be accurate in my experiences. Men and women are different, and I for one, am glad! Women tend to live in the moment and it helps to temper the linear thought processes of guys and makes the world happy. Maybe, not "all" the world, just us lucky ones!

Ur quite right, my apologies.. a slip on my part... the point I meant was that it is not mostly accurate as u infer... any more than mostly or rather most men are rapists is accurate...

Many of us play the game of sex and if attracted sufficiently... if... we will move from the no and slowly dangle possibilities.. sometimes, I would say at least as often, we will tease or enjoy the game and decide no anyway.. sometimes we play it with those with whom we are not attracted for fun and recreation and it is a rare thing indeed to say yes or say "..don't stop with them"...and sometimes we will in the end say yes or do as u say in one way or t'otha to those we are attracted to,,, me point is that however it is not mostly... it is on occasion and within a certain set of circumstances... so it is arguable whether mostly women play it as u say... historically I am quite a free and easy sex loving girl.. I played the game and loved every minute of it and have had me fun... but I did not concede any more than I said yes... quite the contrary in fact.. and if I said no while playing the game more than I said yes, then in my view, even while playing the game of sex, it can never be mostly.. :)

[chtampa]

Ur quite right, my apologies.. a slip on my part... the point I meant was that it is not mostly accurate as u infer... any more than mostly or rather most men are rapists is accurate...

Many of us play the game of sex and if attracted sufficiently... if... we will move from the no and slowly dangle possibilities.. sometimes, I would say at least as often, we will tease or enjoy the game and decide no anyway.. sometimes we play it with those with whom we are not attracted for fun and recreation and it is a rare thing indeed to say yes or say "..don't stop with them"...and sometimes we will in the end say yes or do as u say in one way or t'otha to those we are attracted to,,, me point is that however it is not mostly... it is on occasion and within a certain set of circumstances... so it is arguable whether mostly women play it as u say... historically I am quite a free and easy sex loving girl.. I played the game and loved every minute of it and have had me fun... but I did not concede any more than I said yes... quite the contrary in fact.. and if I said no while playing the game more than I said yes, then in my view, even while playing the game of sex, it can never be mostly.. :)

The term "game" seems to denote an agenda or perhaps that someone will lose and someone will win. I have come to prefer the term "dance" where there is no superior or inferior participant. Maybe we try too much to explain what is in fact, nature. We attract and we repel just like other animals in the "The Dance of Intimacy". The dance is the goal not the outcome. I do love to dance!

[darkeyes]

Dont deny I have always have an agenda wen I play the game.. either to get me naughties or run some poor cocky sod who thinks he is God's gift in2 the ground and show 'im up for the dork he is.. other reasons but they gud enuff 2 be going on wiv...no, I dont do it ver often that last bit, but being gay and told that all I need is nice big cock deployed in me knickers 2 bring me back 2 the light somehow gives me a temptation 2 cut down 2 size I often cannot resist.. ne way, have nev called it a dance but me bruvva does call it "the shagging jig".. very uncouth me big bruvva and he went 2 such a gud school an all:cutelaugh...and me sister in law tells 'im he had better make it gud or he is in spare room on 'is own... I have never thought of it as a dance possibly cos the dance is often part of the game... after all.. lots of us go clubbing and out on pull wile dancing...I used to all the time.. and do luff dancing meself.. will b out tonite for a start doin just that wiv me partner and our m8s... the dance is but 1 move in the game.. and tween 1st word spoken 2 me and getting 2 me front door or werever ther wer all diff kinds of moves wich determined wether I or even we won, drew or lost,,, cos the best of the game of sex isn't winning alone, but 2 (or more on occasion) peeps winning and having a ball:impleased...

..we have strayed a smidge off the subject matter u and I.. so think I will drop it ther and let the OP have her thread back.. soz hun..

[ghost_of_bluebiyou]

In a single word, JennyLynne testosterone.
If someone said "no" for anything, that was okay by me (might have been pissed because I felt they were playing an antisocial or selfish game) up until I hit adolescence.
When testosterone first hit me I would have traded my mortal soul to fuck. Indeed, until I was 33, fucking was paramount. A girl saying "no" simply meant I had to work harder at seducing. At the very worst of my life, my worst example of this, when I was 20 I was going to 'take' a girl I had been with while she had drunkenly passed out (but I didn't - I was preparing to enter her then I fell to the side quite literally crying "I can't do this. Jesus, forgive me [for contemplating]." [and I was born and raised atheist- isn't that really, really, really, weird?]).

It's ironic in so many ways.

Now, after 47 years old, (and now well over 50) I don't have sex with my wife until she needs it (when she gets all whiny, flustered, emotionally losing perspective, feels like all is floundering, and she just needs me to fuck her crazy [animal lust] and make love to her to emotionally simplify things and relieve stress); yet I have only needed it a few times from her in the last several years, usually when I was drunk.
On the other side of the coin, when I go out to the gay bars... I'm a big fella, 6'1" -6'2" (187cm~) and 240 lbs (110kg). Even my wife brags I'm well endowed (I have to be careful not to hurt her when wanting to go for deep thrusts, I/we've had to stop coitus several times when she couldn't 'stretch' enough, it's rare I can let myself 'go' and animalisticaly perform deep thrusts ). I normally dress in leather - boots to collar (and sometimes hat and tie) and ride a motorcycle year round (I'd rather ride in the snow than in summer heat - 90f degree plus, 32C plus- which puts my bike away 3 summer months of the year, but I still ride December/January/February). I get multiple offers every night I go out as I am perceived as handsome also (which is weird because I was the ugliest teenager and seldom perceived myself as handsome). A silver ginger daddy leather bear biker. In the last three cities I've lived in since 2000 I've been the premier leather/bear/daddy/biker. All others... and there were only a few... were just ... acting... belonging to 'clubs'. My bike is the only one regularly seen... almost every outing (else I didn't wear leather, no need)... parked in front of the gay bar... and when I see other guys dressed in leather, on the 'leather' nights, but only one or two other bikes parked out front... for the last decade... wow, it's weird... given to you from an extraordinarily unusual perspective.

It strikes me as retribution as so many guys tell me so many manipulations just to get into my pants... and the thing is I only rarely act on my bisexuality. I'm rarely 'with' another man. My wife knows... I came out to her years before we married.
But these guys... especially those wanting some kind of fantasy silver/bear/ginger/leather/biker daddy, I don't want to hurt their feelings but at the same time... I just came out to socialize and have a few drinks... It's hard to say NO, NO, NO... as a big guy I've seldom ever had to defend myself as folks were apparently intimidated by my size, so it was natural I adopt a gentle and kind attitude. As opposed to a few select little guys (small inside, often small outside, but not always) who have everything to prove...

I'm sorry for your trouble JennyLynne from guys who won't take NO.

It's both a blessing and a curse to be a beautiful young woman (you get both forced undesired situations and opportunities an unattractive woman cannot get); an especial curse to be a woman who is fixated by man who 'hopefully' only is obsessed to have sex with her, but worse, wants to own/possess her. May God Himself intervene, in that circumstance, with force. That is my prayer.

I'm a big guy, a huge guy. I've only had a psychopath try to kill me for a few years (8 years) of my long life. That's over now, almost two years, I'm okay now, I'm quite safe now. But so many women face the same threat... constantly... much more than my 8 years... my heart goes out to the fairer sex. But what can I do.. more than pray (and [I]obviously react instantly and fervently upon any report) for such hapless women?

My sincerest best wishes, to you and all of the fairer sex that must endure and possibly enjoy the masculine sex,

Blue

[ghost_of_bluebiyou]

But you know, JennyLynne?

Love strikes like lightning.
The very unlikeliness of striking.
Yet it will.

JennyLynne,

there is no guideline of philosophy love that can possibly predict your future.

I pray that you pray.

When loves bites you in the ass... you will know it... sometimes years later...

but sometimes...

When it does you will know it right off. Pursue it until your heart says "no more".

As For Me: Love has smitten me in the most... random... unlikely... places

JennyLynne, may God's love strike you... HARD... GODSMAK!!! until you leave this existence...

Best wishes,

Blue

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Jenny, sometimes you just have to be assertive (Me Assertive? nawwww..lol) and Tell someone you arent interested in talking, getting cock pic's, ect. You need to sometimes simply say "What part of NO is it that you arent capable of understanding??" then stand your ground. But yeah, the cock pic on your profile does invite dolt-ism, and its gunna happen. Some guys (Not all) only think with the little head on sites like these...ya gotta expect that. So make it easy on yourself. Make your profile clearer, and nix the cock shot. Just a suggestion..:}
Cat

[DuckiesDarling]

Now wait a minute, why would she have to do anything other than say no? Pictures on a profile doesn't say ignore my no and send me pics anyway anymore than dressing scantily invites rape. No means no. If the man won't take no for an answer she has options such as blocking him or reporting to Drew if it really gets out of hand.

[devil_squid]

Simple answer...men are predatory animals, and women are the prey (most of the time). You are correct tho, I get tired of men not getting the hint, if a person isn't interest back the F^$& off. Hope you find your solution.

[nitrog100]

We grew up receiving conflicting messages. The books, movies, TV shows and such that we grew up with were written by adults that were frustrated with the way things were, and as such, they were a form of wish fulfillment. Since that's all we knew, all of that fiction seems like the way that the world is supposed to be, especially when it comes to love and all that junk. In fiction, persistence is more often than not, rewarded. Well, either that or the dudes that you're referring to are just insufferable-thunder-c*nts. Either one is likely...

[Long Duck Dong]

16701

[darkeyes]

16701
Huh..... have been out with a few so called proper gentlemen in me time.... some of the worst octopi are considered gentlemen in our society. Taking no for an answer is not summat they take kindly to... being a gentleman does not maketh a man nice and often not gentle...

[devil_squid]

16701

Damn movies!! He's out of uniform regulations. His hair is waaaay too long. Hahaha

[Annika L]

16701

Ok...may be missing the point here...is it supposed to be gentlemanly to hold a woman in that way? Would that not mean that some women are gentlemanly? I always got the impression that being a gentleman was about treating people (male and female) with respect...not treating a woman as an object or possession.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol to me,

a gentleman is not the man that opens the door for a lady, its the man that asks if she would like some help with the dishes...
a gentleman is not the man that sweeps a lady off her feet, its the man that vaccums the floor for her.....
a gentleman is not the man that takes a lady out to dinner, its the man that cooks the dinner for the woman so she has time to rest for a few minutes....
a gentleman is not the man that lifts his hat out of respect for the ladies, its the man that carries his share of the load in the house....

that man is not carrying the lady as if she is a possession, hes showing her that when her feet hurt, hes going to run a bath for her then afterwards carry her to the bedroom so she can relax with a book and some her time while he looks after the children then hes going to come to bed later and gently massage her feet, kiss his way up her body and then whisper about how hes amazed by the things she does, all day every day and how he enjoys having the chance to show how much he appreciates her and all that she is and does.....

that, to me is a gentleman cos he knows that the woman he holds, is the woman he loves and as her partner, he is going to need to show her as least once a day, that any day is still a day that he wants to sweep her up in his arms and carry her away to a place where they can remind each other why they have been married for 50 years.......

[Gearbox]

a gentleman is not the man that opens the door for a lady, its the man that asks if she would like some help with the dishes...
a gentleman is not the man that sweeps a lady off her feet, its the man that vaccums the floor for her.....
a gentleman is not the man that takes a lady out to dinner, its the man that cooks the dinner for the woman so she has time to rest for a few minutes....
a gentleman is not the man that lifts his hat out of respect for the ladies, its the man that carries his share of the load in the house....
So what you're saying is that it's the woman's place to wash the dishes, do the hoovering and cook the dinner, and when her male partner does those things and does 'his share' he's being a gentleman?:bigrin:


that man is not carrying the lady as if she is a possession, hes showing her that when her feet hurt, hes going to run a bath for her then afterwards carry her to the bedroom so she can relax with a book and some her time while he looks after the children then hes going to come to bed later and gently massage her feet, kiss his way up her body and then whisper about how hes amazed by the things she does, all day every day and how he enjoys having the chance to show how much he appreciates her and all that she is and does.....
The woman stays home to look after the kids while he goes to work, even though the poor soul is a bit too feeble to do all that by herself?:tongue:

16772

[darkeyes]

lol to me,

a gentleman is not the man that opens the door for a lady, its the man that asks if she would like some help with the dishes...
a gentleman is not the man that sweeps a lady off her feet, its the man that vaccums the floor for her.....
a gentleman is not the man that takes a lady out to dinner, its the man that cooks the dinner for the woman so she has time to rest for a few minutes....
a gentleman is not the man that lifts his hat out of respect for the ladies, its the man that carries his share of the load in the house....

that man is not carrying the lady as if she is a possession, hes showing her that when her feet hurt, hes going to run a bath for her then afterwards carry her to the bedroom so she can relax with a book and some her time while he looks after the children then hes going to come to bed later and gently massage her feet, kiss his way up her body and then whisper about how hes amazed by the things she does, all day every day and how he enjoys having the chance to show how much he appreciates her and all that she is and does.....

that, to me is a gentleman cos he knows that the woman he holds, is the woman he loves and as her partner, he is going to need to show her as least once a day, that any day is still a day that he wants to sweep her up in his arms and carry her away to a place where they can remind each other why they have been married for 50 years.......
They been married 50 years doubt he cud carry 'er ne wer, Duckie, babes;):cutelaugh...

[DuckiesDarling]

for crying out loud to the last two posts.. get over it and stop trying to pick fights where no offense was intended.

[Gearbox]

for crying out loud to the last two posts.. get over it and stop trying to pick fights where no offense was intended.
LOL. That's not picking a fight with your lovely gentleman partner DD. It's not HIM personally I was poking fun at, but the whole idea of what makes a gentleman and what a woman is incapable of.:bigrin:

[chtampa]

So many ways to describe a respect issue. You give it, you get it, you exchange it. If not, there has to be a reason. Simple and not all encompassing among a gender. I have heard thank-you from more men when I hold open a door than I have from women. I believe it is more from upbringing than chromosomes, and still continue to have hope. Although for fun when it happens at double doors, I will let the second set of doors go and let them fend for themselves. A continuation of training if you will, and you have to love the expression on their face. It is nice to see how self privileged people react.

[darkeyes]

for crying out loud to the last two posts.. get over it and stop trying to pick fights where no offense was intended.

For God's sake.. can't u recognise humour for its own sake:yikes2:..

[jennylynne]

Well its official. I no longer trust men thanks to the one guy I mentioned. I'm REALLY thinking about shutting down my account and chalking this up to a learning experience. :(

[tenni]

I'm sorry to read that Jenny on both counts. I thought that there was a way to block PM's? You are being sexist though by applying your experience to ALL men imo. However, you wouldn't be the first woman to do this.

As far as the deviation of the thread to the term "gentleman" is concerned there is a misunderstanding as to the real meaning of a gentleman. "a man of good family, breeding, or social position."

Now it is also true that this word has been expanded to include "A man of calm demeanor, strong preserve, intellectual thinking, polite yet meaningful speak and a good upbringing" or "
A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior".

The "proper behaviour" aspect of the definition is being focused on. A "gentleman" may be a scoundrel and still be a gentleman.

[innaminka]

In my experience, the only time when "no" was not immediately accepted, was when alcohol was helping with the processing.
Happened twice. Time to use a non-agressive backup, 'cos if I get loud, there may just have been the chance they would totally stop thinking.
I used my backup with great success both times. A whispered, "Actually, I'm on the rags. Sorry, but you know...."
Funny how aggressive, unsocial men are turned off by the thought of a little blood on their doodle..

[elian]

When I was growing up I didn't trust men either, I saw them treat the women in my life very poorly (to say the least) - it hurt a lot. It took me a lot of soul searching and finally allowing a handful of good guys into my life to understand that they aren't ALL abusive. We are all only human, and each of us has a breaking point whether you are male or female. If there is a predatory nature, it is learned and it can be unlearned, sometimes very painfully and at great cost. I have to assume that because you are lesbian (according to your profile) you aren't interested in guys approaching you for sex, and the source of your frustration is that men don't realize that? Some of us are rather dense or determined, try stating it even more plainly in your profile. Personally I think it is cool that a woman enjoys watching two guys - serves right for all the years of guys getting turned on by watching two women. :)

[ghost_of_bluebiyou]

Oh! Fer God's Sake jennylynne.
IF I HAVE READ WHAT YOU'VE POSTED CORRECTLY...
You sound like you've had tripwires all over the place.
"Men are all liars".
Stop it.
After some review of your posts...
You're the one with lesbian tendencies of your heterosexual marriage.
You want to condemn men for their native frailties to support your lesbian feelings.
Incidentally, my wife condemns women for their native frailties to occult any lesbian feelings.
If you want to be with a woman, fine... that's how you feel.
Don't find ways to blame a standard single horny aggressive males for your actions... this is the horribly standard evil female way.[I don't need to say men have their evil ways as well... usually vulgar, manipulative, and violent- you're proving to be the same level of logic, though]
I was in this position once... a standard ignorant man, in love with a woman, who worked progressively hard to prove I was the one in the 'wrong' and thus she had no choice but to seek solace in her girlfriends... and lesbian alternative.
Your manipulation skills are wonderful... standard/exceedingly strong feminine passive and covert aggressive tools... you even had me going for a while... among others... you're really good at social manipulation! But you are old enough to know better.
You're in your mid 40s, I'm not going to cut you any brakes...
In Conclusion... your manipulation skills are keen but... you are acting on your true feelings... stop blaming others...

If you hate men... seek a woman as a mate.

Axiomatically:

If you hate women... seek a man as a mate.

regardless of your gender

If you're attracted to a specific gender then accept what's there; they're each a compromise.
Women... permanent dependancy, emotional, financial, {desperation for emotional connection/infidelity} etc... [negative side... I will always be a financial and emotional burden to you]
Men... assholeishness, control, and constant natural desire to spread the seed... [negative side... I will put you into the place of my life and you will not venture from the boundaries of my perception]

When a persistent woman pursues me... this happens to us all... i ignore her
When a persistent man pursues me... this happens to us all... I ignore him

By the way it was tough to ignore the psychopath/guy at work who was trying to kill me for 8 years, yet I succeeded.

I'm Sorry you can't tell an internet troll "FUCK YOU"

"Revenge is living well".
Best Wishes,
Blue

[darkeyes]

Just be urself, Jenny...men can be shites, but most aren't... iggie them that are arseholes and deal wiv them accordingly. Mostly lesbian u say:confused:? Trust me, hun.. have met quite a few lessies in me time who don't like being sed no 2 an all:yikes2:... men don't hav a monopoly on being human octopi or sending unwanted muck ova the net... so take peeps as ya find them... life is 2 short 2 go round loathing and having contempt for every 1 of a partic gender:)... do that anya miss out on a whole experience of a different kind of friendship and so much that makes up the rich tapestry of our lives:eek2:...

[chicagom]

Well put ....just remember....if it's not Scottish....it's crrrrrrap!!!!!

[darkeyes]

:cutelaugh Only mainly true, Chica.. the rest of the world has contribbed sum decent stuff... an we some rite garbage.. just in our case not much relatively;)... tho Tony Blair, and David Cameron's parentage and family history dont haff give me red face out of sheer embarrassment.. me boss's hubbie (who is btw a gentleman in best sense of the word) went 2 same school as Blair but wos year or 2 ahead (Fettes College, a nob school, ver elite, ver expensive, not far from wer I had a flat).. so trust me on this an all Chica... if I can go back 2 that discussion on gentlemen wich pupils ther wer meant 2 b.. quite a few of those nob wankers didn't kno wot the word no meant... Fettes and schools like it, of wich ther r a few is not summat of wich we will brag:tongue:....

[chicagom]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seN7AKSwMFU just my sense of humor luv