I need advice

[donttellnehismy]

I have a crush on my bff and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to lose our friendship by doing something crazy. I'd like to I don't know take our relationship to the next level. Please help.

[nitrog100]

It's sort of difficult to tell you this, but letting your friend know how you feel is a "suicide mission", so to speak. From my own unfortunate experiences, and from what I've gathered from many a sad tale of love disprized, most friendships either developed into something more, or effectively died (hey, that rhymed). Some friendships survive, but limp on, forever and irreparably damaged. I have to ask though, are you talking about a guy or a girl? I can only imagine how much more nerve wracking it would be with a bro.

[donttellnehismy]

It's sort of difficult to tell you this, but letting your friend know how you feel is a "suicide mission", so to speak. From my own unfortunate experiences, and from what I've gathered from many a sad tale of love disprized, most friendships either developed into something more, or effectively died (hey, that rhymed). Some friendships survive, but limp on, forever and irreparably damaged. I have to ask though, are you talking about a guy or a girl? I can only imagine how much more nerve wracking it would be with a bro.We are both guys

[tenni]

You may need to share more information on what is going on between the two of you. To start: Does he know about your sexuality? Does he accept it? If he doesn't know yet, why not begin with the self disclosure and see how he accepts it. He may need some time in between the self disclosures. I wouldn't tell him up front that you have a thing for him.

[fredtyg]

As tenni alluded to, whether he already knows about you is the first consideration. Assuming he doesn't know you're sexually interested in guys, you'll have to tell him. You can likely let him know that in a way that won't scare him off. Don't make a move on him, just get to talking about sex and let slip you've done guys before and enjoy it.

If he seems to freak out about that, then that's probably the end of it, even if he's acting freaked out because he doesn't want to expose himself as being bisexual, too.

I actually went through about the same situation and it worked out pretty well for a me... for a while. I'd known a guy for years and always had the hots for him, although earlier on in the relationship I wasn't all that comfortable with my homosexuality. Once I embraced being queer, I really had the hots for him. Finally, I told myself I had to tell him about myself, if only because it was driving me nuts trying to hide my true self from him.

So one day he came over and we were smoking and drinking in my garage. I manipulated the conversation towards sex. We went on for a while, started talking about blow jobs and I finally just blurted out, "I love sucking cock. Always have.". He just nodded, seeming glad that I'd taken him into my confidence.

I went on to tell him I hadn't sucked cock in a while and would love to find some guy that was into that. He replied, "What you want is a fuck- buddy. I wouldn't mind being your fuck- buddy". And that was that, although it took a while to actually do it the first time as he wasn't quite as comfortable with being queer as I was. He seemed to avoid me for a week or so. Then it happened.

I might add that up to that point I had no idea if he had any interest in sex with other guys. He later told me he had done some "things", but wouldn't elaborate.

That worked out great and I was hoping we'd get much beyond just a little fooling around. As it happened, due to an indiscretion on my part we broke up, so to speak. I'm just glad it worked out as well as it did and sorry it had to end.

[Country Guy]

I agree with the above. I came out to my bff over a year ago. He had that "deer in the headlights" look. I just told him I was bi and nothing more. At first, I wasn't sure he would come back but he did. Since then I have talked to him a little at a time in a non threatening way. He knows I'm crazy about him. Last friday he came over for a cookout. I told him that I've been feeling pretty gay these days and that I'd like to find someone. He said that he'd given up (on sex and finding someone). We're still friends and enjoy each others company. Sometimes, it's hard not to put my arm around him and hold him close.

If he ever gives me any encouragement... look out!!!


P.S. Don't drink too much around your friend. You're more likely to do something you'll regret.
It lowers my inhibitions. I didn't have too many to start with

[donttellnehismy]

Oh I know not to get drunk that's what I meant about doing something crazy and ruining the relationship. I have one friend who's advice was "get drunk with and blow him..." But I know that's a HORRIBLE idea... A little more back ground... Been friends with him since 1st Grade, also we used to shall we say experiment and explore together (not sure how detailed to go into there) but then I met a girl and that ended it... We had GREAT chemistry when we were alone... Oh and my best gf Jen (JennyLynne) on here has been so supportive of me on this...

[jennylynne]

Woo hoo... Thanks for the shout out my friend... Call me tonight...
Oh I know not to get drunk that's what I meant about doing something crazy and ruining the relationship. I have one friend who's advice was "get drunk with and blow him..." But I know that's a HORRIBLE idea... A little more back ground... Been friends with him since 1st Grade, also we used to shall we say experiment and explore together (not sure how detailed to go into there) but then I met a girl and that ended it... We had GREAT chemistry when we were alone... Oh and my best gf Jen (JennyLynne) on here has been so supportive of me on this...

[donttellnehismy]

My pleasure Jen was good talking to you last night

[Country Guy]

How's it going with your bff?
Mine is getting his motorcycle fixed. A ride is going to really tax my self-control. I have enough trouble keeping my hands off him as it is.
I think I should turn down a ride and tell him why.