Advise for single bi guys wanting to hook up with couples

[Hypersexual11]

I have read several posts about bisexual single guys that would like to hook up with a couple but have trouble meeting them. As a married bi guy, and the one who searches out single bi guys to join us, I have some advise on improving your odds. I welcome comments from other married bi guys that can add to this. I'm sure I missed out of some great guys, just because they didn't know how to make an initial first impression.

First off, I use the internet for finding guys. It's like casting a worm into a pool packed with starving fish. Usually with SLS or Craigslist I will only have to leave my ad viewable for a few hours. The response from guys wanting sex is usually heavy. Standing out in that mess is the biggest part. It's easy for me to set high standards when I am looking at 30 responses. If you are planning on answering an ad, you have to be looking constantly to catch them as they are posted.

The first replies to get deleted are those that don't follow simple instructions. With Craigslist, you have to have a qualifier to weed out the bots. A typical ad may ask you to describe the weather or your favorite color in the subject line of your reply. if you don't do this, your reply is deleted without even being opened.

The second "level" of deleting replies is once the e-mail is opened and there is one line written. I don't care what the one line is. We have learned that "one line guy" is shallow, boring and selfish.

After this, we are left with probably 8-12 replies that made the first round of quick deletions. Then its just a matter of going through and looking for that one e-mail that clicks. That's where your personality has to come out. Since we are all looking for something different, there is little advise past this point other than to be honest. You may hook up by trying to be perfect for everyone but at some point, the truth will come out. A few times, we let the lies go. This became a problem I won't go into but now, we don't put up with it. If a guy we are meeting turns out to be not what he said, in any way, we let him have it. We don't yell or make a scene but he is made painfully aware that wasting our time is not doing him any good and was he expecting us to just go ahead with this? Like we didn't notice the picture he sent us was from the 70s?

In your honest reply, remember that sex between 2 guys requires little more than a nod. Sex with a woman, requires a connection beyond her pussy. In your reply, aim your comments to her, not him. Use humor if possible. Be charming. Very importantly, especially with the over 40 people, use correct grammar and punctuation. Us older folks get very turned off reading text speak. This form of abbreviation came about from having to use a number pad to text. You have a keyboard, don't be lazy.

If you want to place an ad: I usually check the ads from men searching for couples every day. I may post an ad 2 or 3 times a year, so placing an ad can be a good idea. Again, be honest, write a nice sized paragraph, aim your comments at the female without forgetting about the male. Add a picture. A face picture with body is best, a faceless body pic (dressed) is acceptable as discretion is usually understood. A cock shot may be appreciated by the guy. When a woman sees a cock shot, especially if it's the only picture, she is turned off. You can ruin a well written ad by adding a cock shot. Remember, you HAVE to connect with the lady if you want to connect at all. No cock shot unless requested.
Happy hunting!

[fredtyg]

Your ad response qualifications are actually good for anyone looking or replying on Craigslist, not just those interested in being part of a threesome.

[Bigerman]

Wow, this is exactly what we experienced and what we think. Seduce the lady and the guy will follow. Couples already know how cocks look like. Face pictures count.

[biguy408]

So being new in this pursuit, this was actually very helpful in understanding the dynamics. Thank you!

[Neonaught]

As the male half of a couple that enjoys MFM and FMF encounters I completely concur with all of the above. Another important aspect to remember is that if you are answering such an ad seeking a bi playmate....be freakin' BI!!! When we venture out in search of company we are continuously surrounded by a thundering herd of horny men seeking free pussy. Far too many are from the watered-down school of "he can suck my dick but I ain't touching him" school of bisexuality. My girl has had to set a simple rule: if they don't at least suck cock they don't get invited. Guys, it's OK to have limits and it's OK to discuss them beforehand but don't waste the time of all involved by pretending to be someone you are not. Good Hunting!

[needalittle05]

as a bi-male that has enjoyed meetin a few couples thouth a lot of this as good advise. I have meet couples and some have gone on to get togethers that were great some ended up os one timers. one couple that I thought would work great ended because I just couldnt meet as offen as they wanted due to the hours I work. I would only say be sure that is really clear when meeting for the first time.

[matutum]

I find that young bi guys want someone their age or near their age. I'm 62 so finding a man or couple who is serious, even a older woman is a big problem. I can't host so most people I come in contact with won't host because they don't want to be found out.

[ErosUrge]

I have enjoyed couples through the years and in fact made a new connection with one just this past Saturday night...and the fireworks were spectacular. We had a great time sexually and no inhibitions during play time.

Now to add my own comments to the actual topic here...

Though I respect the fact that couples who offer or are looking and asking for partners to join them (in this case male), all too often it's a one way street. There is no doubt that the couple hosting has the right to ask for certain qualities in terms of character and sexual interests, etc. What is problematic is that couples don't grasp that though they're hosting, the guest should be allowed some benefit of the doubt. It's not to say that one drops being scrupulous or dropping one's guard; not at all. But too often connections aren't made because of the high expectations that the couple place upon any potential guest. "If you can jump through these hoops and do a double somersalt landing completely upright and in total balance and control, you may be our guest". I use an extreme analogy to demonstrate that though exaggerated, it is like this with some couples. It's not just the fault of the potential men. Mind you, I know that there are many men who wouldn't get through the radar with just about anyone and rightly so.

I'd have to say that for a wonderful time to be experienced by all, there needs to be a lighter and warmer approach where the guest has a little more leverage and equal footing. There is a certain etiquette that goes along with the role of the host(s) and with the guest(s). In truth, there are a lot of single guys that just aren't interested either for the reason that certain couples make such demands. Again, please understand that there are exceptions; this is a given. There are guys that no one is interested in giving the time of day to. I also know too how many men only use the mask of bisexuality to have access to the woman. And I also realize that filters are necessary; absolutely. Yet it's necessary that those hosting understand their own expectations as well...that perhaps the bar is set too high. We are all in this together should it happen, are we not? Some of the worst experiences I've had are when the husband/male partner is dictating every position and type of play and directing all movement; it's a bit much and I DO NOT return again. Or, there are so many expectations already in the ad that seem more like demands that I want nothing to do with even sending a message of any sort to the couple. I know the topic is advise for single bi guys here, but the single bi guy needs to be heard too.

On the other hand, I do remember my very first experience with a couple...I was asked to meet them at their home and we sat outside under trees in the early evening in summer. The husband was bi and the wife heterosexual who enjoyed and was turned on seeing her husband having various sexual types of play with a man which she would eventually join in too. The sexual questions were interspersed between general topics of discussion. It was all very relaxing and there wasn't any intensity. We sat together very relaxed in conversation. Not once did it ever seem like I was on trial or that they were full of expectations. I knew that this meeting would determine whether we would get together at a future time and I thought that future time would be days later if I were asked to join them. It is also important to note that it also meant whether I WANTED TO RETURN or NOT too. As it turned out, the wife asked me if I'd be willing to go inside at that moment to play...I gladly replied yes......Not only were they enjoyable people, but an added bonus was that they both were physically very attractive too...though initially nervous when it all began, the nervousness subsided and the evening was very rewarding and enjoyable for us all. And we continued over the next several months to play until they moved several hundred miles away.

My reason for bringing this up is because of how this couple approached it all. In their ad (which appeared right here at Bisexual.com), they indicated that they were seeking male partners. But there wasn't a long laundry list of expectations. I replied with a small paragraph which was enough for them to look into my profile and then to send me an invitation that they wanted to meet. And as described above, the meeting went well. I understand how one liners are mostly a turn off and an indication of the sort of individual that might be unsavory and unsatisfactory. Yet at the same time, some men are quality individuals but very shy or simply don't elaborate with words...they really shine in the moments you would want them to; particularly in the bed with you both.

I have found that the most enjoyable experiences are when people are relaxed and not so intent on everything being laid out exactly to the expectations of one person, the couple, or everyone....we all have expectations, but the key needs to be flexibility. If there is flexibility in the situation, all kinds of surprise and enjoyable possibilities can present themselves.

To conclude, I certainly wish the OP the best in their solicitations and hope they have some most ecstatic and enjoyable moments. I simply wanted to give voice for the single or married males possibly joining you for play....

[Ebonybifemme7]

I'm a bi single girl. I think men are more valued in the bisexual world than the women. If a woman isnt married she's valueless. A man to a certain extent too, but especially a woman.

[Coastocoast]

I'm a bi single girl. I think men are more valued in the bisexual world than the women. If a woman isnt married she's valueless. A man to a certain extent too, but especially a woman.

I would completely disagree with you on that one. How many couples out there have endlessly looked for an appropriate woman to join them without success? You seem to be much more difficult to find a willing woman to join a couple than a willing male. If that is what you are looking for search through the profiles of couples and you will be pleasantly surprised. Take your time and make sure everyone involved is on the same page. Good luck with your search.

[norush]

I would completely disagree with you on that one. How many couples out there have endlessly looked for an appropriate woman to join them without success? You seem to be much more difficult to find a willing woman to join a couple than a willing male. If that is what you are looking for search through the profiles of couples and you will be pleasantly surprised. Take your time and make sure everyone involved is on the same page. Good luck with your search.

so true, no luck. even when the ad says no men they will hound you to no end. men look at your profile pic and don't read the ad.

[Drunk Uncle]

Hypersexual11, thank you for the post. This is exactly what I'm looking to try to experience sometime in the next couple of years and I've had to tweak my ad here and one other place to filter a few folks out.

As for the one line email response (esp. when filled with text/speak "can i c yr dik?") I'm 100% agreement with you.

The biggest sex organ I have to offer is my brain, so even if you're hot, if you can't write an email...I'm going to guess you probably aren't even able to carry on any type of conversation. And if I can't even talk to you...well, I'm certainly not going to sleep with you.

Neonaught - right on! When I first started this journey my wife was interested in playing and after posting a few pics of her...all we got were a bunch of guys happy to f*ck her and then let me clean them off. Ooh, how kind of you sir....:rolleyes: Please, at least be bi curious if you're going to throw your hat into this arena.

matutum - don't give up the fight, as bleak as things can seem at time. I met a 70 year old (dirty) man just a few weeks ago and had a rather pleasant rainy afternoon doing things that I didn't think this middle-aged body could still do but alas, it worked out just fine. Keep in mind, that was after a couple of months of going through the barrage of one-line emails and also politely saying, "no" to a few folks that I didn't seem to click with. Sometimes it can get rather frustrating as this can be a young person's game, I've always found it worth sticking it out.

Thanks again for posting the advice and also for everyone giving the feedback.

Maybe we'll see you in between the sheets one day soon.

The Drunk Uncle

[dingmama]

I dont find many single women wanting to join us. I would love it.

[liberlib]

Loved your post, ErosUrge. I have looked at joining a couple a few times and would like the experience but I want it to be an event where I am learning and working to enhance both their experiences, not to be the center show. Unfortunately, most of the offers I have seen want the male to be treating one or the other and not both. I am not unwilling to do so but still want some contact with both as a shared experience.

[gahdeh10]

Neonaught, you said it perfect. We have had a few guys try that with us. They manage to say all the right things until we meet and then they hesitate or say "Well, it's been a long time", (like you forget how to suck a cock). We have eliminated the want-a-bes by telling them that my wife insists (she does) on them meeting me first. If they don't want to do that, then they don't meet her. She feels that if you are a true bi-guy, then you will want to be with another man when given the chance. We have used this method several times, and it works for us. A lot of the guys, when we tell them this, don't even write back.

[misskinkyboots]

I'm a woman, married couple and bi guys never reply.... tell me were you find these single men!?!?!

[chicagom]

Chicago lol

[leodecatur]

Yes, as we get older it becomes more difficult to find someone to play with. However, they are still out there, just have to look harder. The young ones who only want "young, hung and full of cum" don't yet realize that one day they will be older and have the same problems that we face today. Something I have never understood was a man wanting his cock sucked, but only by a young guy. Duh, a mouth is a mouth and experience is worth something, LOL. Good hunting.