Is my Bf gay or something else?

[dowhatchuwant10]

My boyfriend is the very masculine type. He says that he is fully gay and he does not like women. I am naturally quite feminine, im 5 ft 4 and if i had long hair i would probably look like a girl. He is 6 ft 4 and muscular and has masculine interests. He has recently suggested that i cross dress (not fully, just panties and stockings) when we have sex, this is something which id like to do but it has made me think that he isnt gay. Ive also noticed that many lesbians on this site are attracted to masculinity. There arent any gay men on this site (maybe some bi men) who are attracted to feminine men. This to me is puzzling because my boyfriend is.. if he is attracted to my femininity why is he not attracted to women. Also when we have sex, i am always the bottom, he says he has no interest in bottoming. I have confronted him about how i feel and he says he is gay. Another thing which confuses me is that when we have sex, he refers to my asshole as a "boy pussy" (please dont laugh :P) Also why are so few gay men attracted to feminine men; when there are many lesbians who love masculine women?

[Gearbox]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!:tongue:

Can't blame you for being a bit suspicious of him imagining you as female, and thinking he may want a female. But sex & sexuality isn't very straightforward, as you prob know. Masc & fem can be very strong ingredients in sexual attraction, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with gender.
He could be getting his kicks by being the dom masc that out-mascs you as a male. Yeh, stuff like that goes on! Stuff like everything goes on.:rolleyes:

Don't worry! If he's bi, he's still your bf and obviously enjoys your male body, despite how he likes to dress you up.

[tenni]

Have you asked him why he wants you to cross dress? What are your feelings about cross dressing?

I wonder if these two questions are more relevant than whether your male lover is bisexual or not. There seems to be a number of bisexual men who enjoy playing the bottom role and cross dressing. Some state that they like being passive with men but assertive when they are with women. Some enjoy their female partner using a strap on with them being the bottom. I don't read many of these traits being used by yourself or your boyfriend. You are still male with a cock even if your cross dress. If he pays attention to your cock and you enjoy cross dressing being fucked, then don't worry as to whether he is bisexual. Many of us here believe in sexual fluidity. Even if your bf is moving sexually to be more inclusive of female role playing partners, he has not shown or mentioned wanting sex with a heterosexual woman. If he is becoming more attracted to women doesn't mean that he will not also still be attracted to you as his male lover. Right now you are same sex lovers. There is little to show that his attraction has changed except for the request for you to cross dress. If this bothers you and you don't want to do it, let him know. Are you confident with yourself as to your masculine gender? (know that you are a man regardless if you have a tendency to female submissiveness etc.)

[dowhatchuwant10]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!:tongue:

Can't blame you for being a bit suspicious of him imagining you as female, and thinking he may want a female. But sex & sexuality isn't very straightforward, as you prob know. Masc & fem can be very strong ingredients in sexual attraction, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with gender.
He could be getting his kicks by being the dom masc that out-mascs you as a male. Yeh, stuff like that goes on! Stuff like everything goes on.:rolleyes:


Don't worry! If he's bi, he's still your bf and obviously enjoys your male body, despite how he likes to dress you up.


What!? i havent mentioned that he imagined me as a female!? I said that he wants me to crossdress in panties and stockings (not fully). Where did i say that he wants a female!? I have actually said that he says to me that he has no interest in women. The reason im confused is that he is obviously attracted to my femininity.. but i dont understand why he DOESNT like females?

[dowhatchuwant10]

Have you asked him why he wants you to cross dress? What are your feelings about cross dressing?

I wonder if these two questions are more relevant than whether your male lover is bisexual or not. There seems to be a number of bisexual men who enjoy playing the bottom role and cross dressing. Some state that they like being passive with men but assertive when they are with women. Some enjoy their female partner using a strap on with them being the bottom. I don't read many of these traits being used by yourself or your boyfriend. You are still male with a cock even if your cross dress. If he pays attention to your cock and you enjoy cross dressing being fucked, then don't worry as to whether he is bisexual. Many of us here believe in sexual fluidity. Even if your bf is moving sexually to be more inclusive of female role playing partners, he has not shown or mentioned wanting sex with a heterosexual woman. If he is becoming more attracted to women doesn't mean that he will not also still be attracted to you as his male lover. Right now you are same sex lovers. There is little to show that his attraction has changed except for the request for you to cross dress. If this bothers you and you don't want to do it, let him know. Are you confident with yourself as to your masculine gender? (know that you are a man regardless if you have a tendency to female submissiveness etc.)

Im just confused because gay (and some bi men) always use the excuse that why date a feminine man.. u might as well date a woman. If he is a gay man, why is he attracted to femeninity?

[Gearbox]

What!? i havent mentioned that he imagined me as a female!? I said that he wants me to crossdress in panties and stockings (not fully). Where did i say that he wants a female!? I have actually said that he says to me that he has no interest in women. The reason im confused is that he is obviously attracted to my femininity.. but i dont understand why he DOESNT like females?
Sorry, you describe yourself as looking like a female if you had long hair, that he asks you to wear female panties & stockings for sex, calls your chuff a 'boy pussy', that he likes your femininity and you're asking "Is he gay or something else?".
Surely it must have crossed your mind that he imagines you to be female, or you wouldn't ask that.:bigrin:

He could meet your identical twin sister (lets pretend), who is just as feminine and lovely as you......but has different bits & bobs, yet find her unattractive due to those bits & bobs. He likes femininity, but doesn't like tits & pussy. Many bi males like cock, but not masculinity or the rest of a man.
Your bf's masculinity doesn't make him less gay than you. Your femininity doesn't mean you want to be a female, in the same way as he doesn't want you to be female either.

Confusing? Maybe. But that's sexuality, masc & fem, gender and attraction for you.:)

[tenni]

Im just confused because gay (and some bi men) always use the excuse that why date a feminine man.. u might as well date a woman. If he is a gay man, why is he attracted to femeninity?

Interesting statement. I have not read or heard from a some gay man prefer to date feminine men but it makes sense. I have heard that some bimen enjoy more submissive feminine men over aggressive men but there are also bisexual men who don't want to date feminine men. I agree with that attitude that if they want to date a feminine person they will date a woman.

You identify yourself as a feminine gay man. Even if he is attracted to feminine men, he has picked you to fulfill that attraction hasn't he? Be happy and accept him for what/who he is.

Even if he is bisexual, does that really matter when he has picked you? Would you accept him if he wanted to also have sex with a woman? Presently, he says that he has no interest in women. Are you confused over something that is no where near a possibility based on what you know and he tells you?

[dowhatchuwant10]

Interesting statement. I have not read or heard from a some gay man prefer to date feminine men but it makes sense. I have heard that some bimen enjoy more submissive feminine men over aggressive men but there are also bisexual men who don't want to date feminine men. I agree with that attitude that if they want to date a feminine person they will date a woman.

You identify yourself as a feminine gay man. Even if he is attracted to feminine men, he has picked you to fulfill that attraction hasn't he? Be happy and accept him for what/who he is.

Even if he is bisexual, does that really matter when he has picked you? Would you accept him if he wanted to also have sex with a woman? Presently, he says that he has no interest in women. Are you confused over something that is no where near a possibility based on what you know and he tells you?

Firstly there kind of a double standard cos there are some lesbians (100% ones) who date masculine women.. i dont see people telling them that they might as well date a man. Idk if i would accept him if he wanted to have sex with women. I have talked about this to him, and he said that he tried having sex with a woman but it didnt feel right and he couldnt maintain an erection. Secondly why is femininity in men so hated in the gay community? I dont see lesbians having the same sort of attitude towards masculinity? Is it because femininity is seen as a bad thing?

[dowhatchuwant10]

Its crazy how before i met my boyfriend I would have straight women hit on me all the time.. but gay men would just not be interested. You bi people are so nice and you love people for who they are.

[tenni]

Firstly there kind of a double standard cos there are some lesbians (100% ones) who date masculine women.. i dont see people telling them that they might as well date a man. Idk if i would accept him if he wanted to have sex with women. I have talked about this to him, and he said that he tried having sex with a woman but it didnt feel right and he couldnt maintain an erection. Secondly why is femininity in men so hated in the gay community? I dont see lesbians having the same sort of attitude towards masculinity? Is it because femininity is seen as a bad thing?

Hi
Remember that you are speaking with a bisexual community. We can not speak or answer about the gay community. The one thing that bisexual men experience is a negative attitude from both monosexual communities because we are attracted to both genders. Even some bisexual women dislike and will not date bisexual men but I think they are a minority. Bisexual women seem to be more accepted by monosexuals than bisexual men. One thought is that a hetero guy will project himself with two women but never with two other men. Some say that hetero men fantasize that the women are putting on a show for him and no other man. He'll jerk off to two women making out but not two men. Feminity in men may be looked down on by monosexuals but I doubt all gay men look down on feminine men?

Again, based on what you wrote, I don't think that you have anything to worry about your bf if he lost his erection when he tried to have sex with women.