A Senior Question

[Maybhere]

We have been reading the posts for quite some time and decided it might be fun to register. We are a male/female both bisexual couple. A few months ago we had a new experience and wonder if it is more common than we know. She has always enjoyed sucking and swallowing and has never said no. A few months ago as we crawled in bed I asked her to suck me off. She said it really hurts her neck to do it anymore. I wasn't upset but I asked, how about if I jerk off in your mouth? She immediately said OK. We did it and after she swallowed I asked if that was better. She said nobody ever did it before but she was ready anytime I needed her mouth. She even told the check out girl at Lowe's I jerk off in her mouth. (We sort of know the girl). We just wondered if any other senior's have found this useful or even tried it? At 16 my wife didn't want cum in her mouth...today she gobbles it up with no problem.

[Visexual]

I'm 66 and my wife is 61 now. And, heck yes, there are a lot of things that she doesn't want to do now that she did when we were younger. And, for some strange reason, she doesn't want to discuss the problems with our doctor. Oh well, if she's content without sex, I'll accept it.

OK, got to ask, you really told the clerk at Lowe's? You must know her very well!

[Gypsy_Rose]

for some strange reason, she doesn't want to discuss the problems with our doctor. Oh well, if she's content without sex, I'll accept it.

As a woman looking at her 51st b-day in a couple months, i can tell you getting older and moving away from the societal standard for beauty (20-something) can be demoralizing, embarrassing, and humiliating even for those with the highest of self-esteem. i'm not saying this is absolutely the case with your wife, but it could be at the very least a contributing factor. Doctors can be rude and condescending, and their solutions to the problems we present to them are oftentimes fraught with greater risk and inconvenience than learning to live with the problem. I would not automatically assume she is content without sex, just because she is not talking to a doctor about things.

Sometimes one can feel hopeless. Our bodies change and betray us, gravity takes over, we have no idea who that woman in the mirror is, but we know she doesn't look like the porn they post in chat anymore. Things don't work like they used to, aches and pains set in, hormones shift and we don't feel as sexy, don't get as wet anymore.

Yes, physiology changes as we mature, and so too do we make psychological shifts because of these changes. My uncle used to say, "getting old ain't for sissies", and he was right. To assume everything will always be the same is unrealistic. Things WILL change; it's how gracefully we flow with the changes and how understanding and compassionate we are about them in ourselves and in others that makes the difference in how satisfying our sex lives will be as we age.

Maybhere, I think your new alternative technique is exactly the kind of adjustment that can be made to ensure a continued satisfying sexual relationship with your wife. Hopefully through posting about it others will see there are other options and explore the solutions that work best for their unique situations. I wish you both the best.

[Cum1st]

We have been reading the posts for quite some time and decided it might be fun to register. We are a male/female both bisexual couple. A few months ago we had a new experience and wonder if it is more common than we know. She has always enjoyed sucking and swallowing and has never said no. A few months ago as we crawled in bed I asked her to suck me off. She said it really hurts her neck to do it anymore. I wasn't upset but I asked, how about if I jerk off in your mouth? She immediately said OK. We did it and after she swallowed I asked if that was better. She said nobody ever did it before but she was ready anytime I needed her mouth. She even told the check out girl at Lowe's I jerk off in her mouth. (We sort of know the girl). We just wondered if any other senior's have found this useful or even tried it? At 16 my wife didn't want cum in her mouth...today she gobbles it up with no problem.

Maybe if you two 69 on your sides with your leg drawn up so she can rest her head on it?

[Maybhere]

Visexual - Yes the wife actually told her.. She is young enough to be our grand daughter but she is also very open in terms of talking about sex. We have no idea who she is but one day I told her an off color joke and she loved it. From there things simply progressed and now she asks us questions when we go in on the weekend. I think she is probably wanting to experiment but a bit reluctant. Way too young for us but her questions make sense.

[Visexual]

MayBHere, if you know any single young men in the lifestyle, you should tell him about her. She sounds like a great catch for some young man.

[by~his~side]

Gypsy_Rose, I'm right there with you, girlfriend. It's as if you can read my mind.
Thank you for posting what many 'women of a certain age' are feeling.

~D~

[oralydriven]

@Maybhere,may I say,you might as that young lady out for a Jamba Juice (if you have them there,lol) or a coffee.She sounds like perhaps she would not mind to have a "mentor(s)" lol.Lord knows there are enough predatory types as well as bad information floating around out there,lying in wait for (as the say) "sweet young things",lol!

[jazz5]

Getting older can get tough, usually for the woman as her hormones change. My wife talks about it once in a while but alas that is far as it goes at least for the past few years. I guess even I am not the same as when I was younger............... can't go 5 times anymore. LOLROF :yikes2: I think it is great when a little change in "procedure" can still result in sex life for both partners that are satisfying.

[Yman67]

From the senior guy side. My wife is dead but not my libido. I discovered a few years ago my erections were going away. I still like oral, but now I use a strap-on for intercourse. It works for me!

[Meliss]

I am really aroused by mature ladies, especially those who exercise. They look, smell, and move great! They adore attention and are reluctant to take 5 years for the first kiss.. : ) Heck they even are willing to do part of the getting together dance men and women always do.

[csreef]

My neighbor confided in me that his wife will not have sex with him anymore...His explanation was that after his wife hit Menopause, sex just became too painful for her...

[sysper]

My neighbor confided in me that his wife will not have sex with him anymore...His explanation was that after his wife hit Menopause, sex just became too painful for her...
sounds like ur neighbors need to find the real reason the wife won't have sex. there's no way some pain would stop me from having sex. i would find some way! if they do love each other & care about each other's happiness they will find the patience for themselves & each other to solve this. not that this is ur problem at least as far as i know lol.

[thirstyfellow]

sounds like ur neighbors need to find the real reason the wife won't have sex. there's no way some pain would stop me from having sex. i would find some way! if they do love each other & care about each other's happiness they will find the patience for themselves & each other to solve this. This can be a Pandora's box. I wouldn't be quick to draw a connection between loss of libido and loss of love.

My wife and I have been married for over 35 years and she is my soul mate. She is also a tortured soul and has battled depression all her life, in and out of hospitals, electroshock therapy, the works. She has been disabled for 12 years with chronic pain. She grew up as an unwanted child with a violent alcoholic parent. She lost her virginity to a date rapist. In her later life all of this and more has come home to roost and she is fighting to stay above water.

For the last 20+ years I have been an unwilling celibate. When we got married, I signed up for all of this, even though neither one of us could see it coming. Life happens and if you have someone you've chosen to walk with along its path, you walk the path together whether it is easy or not.

At 60 years of age, I've finally accepted that my wife's libido isn't going to change. I've made my own decision to stop allowing that to fuel my anger; my own sexual health is up to me and not anyone else. So I'm here, I'm exploring, I'm opening up in ways that I will try to keep from hurting my wife. But in the end, whether I continue being "that guy" who allowed his sexual self to die at age 39 - or not - remains within my control. I love my wife with all that I am, but I'm also choosing not to be that guy.

Sometimes it isn't about love; it's about pain.

[CurEUs_Male]

Really?!? Pain is not a reason to skip sex? That's a horrible point of view.

There are a lot of reasons sex can become painful, and if it is, there are other options than PIV sex to provide enjoyment for both. I would also be frustrated with no sex, as I had a few periods with my wife over the years due to babies and changes... ever hopeful and so far each has been temporary, but had I ever treated her like she had to get over it, it never would have happened again.

[by~his~side]

there's no way some pain would stop me from having sex. i would find some way.

Said the 42 year old through his rose colored glasses. With his healthy joints, knees, back, and prostate.
Write that mission statement down for your future self. Hopefully you won't need a fork.


This can be a Pandora's box. I wouldn't be quick to draw a connection between loss of libido and loss of love.

Bravo!! You sound like a very wise man. This menopausal woman who is deeply in love with her husband appreciates your outlook.
Heartfelt prayers for your wife and heartfelt blessings for the both of you.



Really?!? Pain is not a reason to skip sex? That's a horrible point of view.

Indeed it is.

[elmwood7]

I thought surviving 2 tours in VietNam was hard but this getting old is no joke. Man or Woman at some point it affects everything in your life. Sex is only 1 of many things that change over time.

[Drummerman]

I'm 66 and my wife is 61 now. And, heck yes, there are a lot of things that she doesn't want to do now that she did when we were younger. And, for some strange reason, she doesn't want to discuss the problems with our doctor. Oh well, if she's content without sex, I'll accept it.

OK, got to ask, you really told the clerk at Lowe's? You must know her very well!My wife seems to think sex ends now that she hit menopause.

[elmwood7]

That seems like a common problem.

[darkeyes]

My wife seems to think sex ends now that she hit menopause. Me mum says the menopause doesn't mean giving men up.. a wee pause at times maybe, not retirement! She and me dad never stopped until just b4 the ole bugger died and she was well past the menopause.. and now a few years down the line she dates, something I took ver badly at first and still dont like but close me mind to it. I adored me dad but nowadays find I also adore me mum 2 just as much...she has needs as she puts it and having it away wiv herself doesn't quite meet those entirely...... middle 60s now she goes out boogeying, partying and having a ball.. sex is part of her life.. who am I 2 grudge me mum a sex life? Her mum?

[bicuriousbc66]

Unfortunately this is all too common . It is very unfortunate for the women too.

[querty]

A refreshing thread for this site.....


Gypsy_rose, you are spot on. It's as if you interviewed my wife. At 59 she looks fantastic, gets compliments all the time, gets hit on in the grocery store and in coffee shops. I can see when she i. When I see her struggling with the image in the mirror or she comments about looking old, I support her with truly sincere comments about how attractive and sexy I find her. But more helpful (and equally sincere), I make these comments when she's not thinking about it. I walk in the room, she looks hot, I tell her, and often make a pass at her (and sometimes I am successful!).


I'm 56 and all this has started for me recently. "Why is my dad's face in the mirror". I can't drag a couch up the stairs and not be winded like I once could, and a feeling of being weak creeps in. I see myself in pictures and think - when the hell did that happen!? It takes longer for me to be 'ready' when we are intimate, and longer to be ready again (if I manage not to pass right out!). A feeling of inadequacy creeps in.


Down below are comments about pain getting in they way of sex, and whether this should or should not be big deal. I suspect it wasn't meant as the broad statement I took it as, but.... Painful sex, especially for women, can rob a person of all desire, and can affect all manner of a person's body, mind, and soul. This is true I suspect of any chronic pain condidtion, but painfull sex has it's own set of impacts. The pain affects more than the relatively short period of actual sex. The frequent anticipation and foreboding of impending a significantly painful event affects body mind and soul. A person naturally starts to develop avoidance behaviors, consciously or not, which thier partner may misinterpret. It affects your mood if you know it's coming or is going to be asked for. There is guilt for denying your partner, there is remorse for no longer being able to satisfy your partner, feeling like a burden, and even a failure. There is resentment on the part of your partner, for which you feel responsible.


I make these statements from the personal experiences of my wife and I. Though I new sex was more painful for her, and we were trying differnt things, I was not aware of the severity of it or of the broad impact it was having on her (she was trying to shield me from it) till one day she broke down in tears at my frustration during an intimate moment. I felt like a selfish ass for it, and for not having had recognized the severity of it on my own.


Fortunately for her, because of her good health, there was a solution that has been wondrous (bio-identical hormone treatment). She could sleep again, sex was no longer painful, her libido returned (gangbusters), she was abble to get off anti-depression meds and the side effects thereof. We've been going strong ever since.


A long way for me to go to say, painful sex and/or loss of libido can affect every aspect of a person's life.

[sysper]

thanks querty that was thoughtfull, helps me understand alot.

[hung4you]

My wife loves sucking and swallowing cum.At the 1st of the year I began sharing my wife with my buddy next door and I must say she has really explored her sexual desires since then. For a visual reference my wife is 5''4 110 lbs and cute little tits. She is of Asian decent and knows how to please a man. She loves to fuck and suck cock and never disappoints. When I see her getting reamed by my buddies cock is such a turn on I can't stand it.

[thirstyfellow]

A refreshing thread for this site.....


Gypsy_rose, you are spot on. It's as if you interviewed my wife. At 59 she looks fantastic, gets compliments all the time, gets hit on in the grocery store and in coffee shops. I can see when she i. When I see her struggling with the image in the mirror or she comments about looking old, I support her with truly sincere comments about how attractive and sexy I find her. But more helpful (and equally sincere), I make these comments when she's not thinking about it. I walk in the room, she looks hot, I tell her, and often make a pass at her (and sometimes I am successful!).


I'm 56 and all this has started for me recently. "Why is my dad's face in the mirror". I can't drag a couch up the stairs and not be winded like I once could, and a feeling of being weak creeps in. I see myself in pictures and think - when the hell did that happen!? It takes longer for me to be 'ready' when we are intimate, and longer to be ready again (if I manage not to pass right out!). A feeling of inadequacy creeps in.


Down below are comments about pain getting in they way of sex, and whether this should or should not be big deal. I suspect it wasn't meant as the broad statement I took it as, but.... Painful sex, especially for women, can rob a person of all desire, and can affect all manner of a person's body, mind, and soul. This is true I suspect of any chronic pain condidtion, but painfull sex has it's own set of impacts. The pain affects more than the relatively short period of actual sex. The frequent anticipation and foreboding of impending a significantly painful event affects body mind and soul. A person naturally starts to develop avoidance behaviors, consciously or not, which thier partner may misinterpret. It affects your mood if you know it's coming or is going to be asked for. There is guilt for denying your partner, there is remorse for no longer being able to satisfy your partner, feeling like a burden, and even a failure. There is resentment on the part of your partner, for which you feel responsible.


I make these statements from the personal experiences of my wife and I. Though I new sex was more painful for her, and we were trying differnt things, I was not aware of the severity of it or of the broad impact it was having on her (she was trying to shield me from it) till one day she broke down in tears at my frustration during an intimate moment. I felt like a selfish ass for it, and for not having had recognized the severity of it on my own.


Fortunately for her, because of her good health, there was a solution that has been wondrous (bio-identical hormone treatment). She could sleep again, sex was no longer painful, her libido returned (gangbusters), she was abble to get off anti-depression meds and the side effects thereof. We've been going strong ever since.


A long way for me to go to say, painful sex and/or loss of libido can affect every aspect of a person's life.

Thank you! I could have written this myself.
Chronic pain becomes self sustaining. The anxiety over whether it will ever end becomes an added source of pain.

My wife's chronic pain differs from other examples that I've learned about in that it never abates. Seriously - there is no time when she is without it. So there's a traumatic aspect to the experience itself; it's a kind of torture. It affects a person's sanity. When I hear her speak of her interest in assisted suicide, I know that it's not only a socially conscious interest at play. She's weighing her options (and she's being rational about doing so). It makes me want to curl up in a fetal position in a dark room.