non monogamy

[kikigrace]

Does anyone know of a site similar to this one, but where the main subject is non monogamy? In our relationship it seems like this might be the difficult question, and i have found plenty of articles, but not really a site where one can talk to actual people with experience...thanks. I hope it is ok to ask this even though it is kind of "off topic".

[Melody Dean]

I'm sure there are plenty. It probably also depends on the type you're looking for. Even though I am non monogamous (and I know I'm not the only one on here), I haven't been to another site that focuses on that. So I'd be interested if you find anything worthwhile as well.

[virginia123]

Google polyamorous relationships. See what shows up. Good luck finding what you are looking for. Let me know if you find it!

[pole_smoker]

LMAO "polyamory" is nothing but a new buzzword for an open relationship, or someone being given permission to cheat or fuck around.

Polyamory now that's a total recipe for disaster, breaking people up, dividing them, not bringing them together, and some Jim Jones Peoples Temple shit with everyone cheating on each other and being driven apart, and it's done by people who simply don't take an actual relationship with anyone seriously and who should just be single.

[Browne]

LMAO "polyamory" is nothing but a new buzzword for an open relationship, or someone being given permission to cheat or fuck around.

Polyamory now that's a total recipe for disaster, breaking people up, dividing them, not bringing them together, and some Jim Jones Peoples Temple shit with everyone cheating on each other and being driven apart, and it's done by people who simply don't take an actual relationship with anyone seriously and who should just be single.

From what I understand, poly amorous relationships are when 3 or more people decide to commit to each other to enter a serious relationship whereas an open relationship is when 2 committed people decide to allow for each other to see other people in an independent manner.

Most of what you read about concerning poly amorous relationships either talks about what a fiasco it turned out to be, or, for the ones who claim a successful relationship, you commonly hear about how exhausting the experience is because of how much work is involved in keeping everyone happy. So I don't necessarily get what the draw is to be in this type of relationship. It's tough enough with just two people in my experiences, living in this day and age.

But I would think that such a relationship is succeptable to the same type of factors which can either strengthen or erode a typical two party relationship, plus the pressure of poly relationships not really being embraced by our society. So aspects like having sound intentions, clear expectations with one another, and keeping understandings of one another would be good. You also need to have the right type of character to deal with the complexities such a situation would bear. But if the motivations of the parties are not based upon sound intentions, those type of relationships tend to turn to shit sooner rather than later. So that's what I wonder about when I read about a the unsucceful attempts at such an arrangement. Is it because of societal pressures that these types of relationship tend to flounder or is it because people who typically enter into these type of relationships are not going in with sound intentions.


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[pole_smoker]

From what I understand, poly amorous relationships are when 3 or more people decide to commit to each other to enter a serious relationship whereas an open relationship is when 2 committed people decide to allow for each other to see other people in an independent manner.

Most of what you read about concerning poly amorous relationships either talks about what a fiasco it turned out to be, or, for the ones who claim a successful relationship, you commonly hear about how exhausting the experience is because of how much work is involved in keeping everyone happy. So I don't necessarily get what the draw is to be in this type of relationship. It's tough enough with just two people in my experiences, living in this day and age.

But I would think that such a relationship is succeptable to the same type of factors which can either strengthen or erode a typical two party relationship, plus the pressure of poly relationships not really being embraced by our society. So aspects like having sound intentions, clear expectations with one another, and keeping understandings of one another would be good. You also need to have the right type of character to deal with the complexities such a situation would bear. But if the motivations of the parties are not based upon sound intentions, those type of relationships tend to turn to shit sooner rather than later. So that's what I wonder about when I read about a the unsucceful attempts at such an arrangement. Is it because of societal pressures that these types of relationship tend to flounder or is it because people who typically enter into these type of relationships are not going in with sound intentions.


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LOL the trouble is that people who try to enter into "relationships" like this don't practice what they preach, don't communicate, or do other things they claim they're going to do, and instead do everything they can to break apart the "relationship", cause jealousy, cause anger, and hurt people.

Plus they wind up getting what they want which is an open relationship or permission to fuck around with another person there or not there; and then they or the other two or more people wind up cheating or breaking the "rules" anyway. Or one of the "primary" people winds up leaving the other "primary" person for their fuckbuddy/side piece, or booty call that they invited into their open relationship, or who they met while cheating.

[Melody Dean]

From what I understand, poly amorous relationships are when 3 or more people decide to commit to each other to enter a serious relationship whereas an open relationship is when 2 committed people decide to allow for each other to see other people in an independent manner.

Most of what you read about concerning poly amorous relationships either talks about what a fiasco it turned out to be, or, for the ones who claim a successful relationship, you commonly hear about how exhausting the experience is because of how much work is involved in keeping everyone happy. So I don't necessarily get what the draw is to be in this type of relationship. It's tough enough with just two people in my experiences, living in this day and age.

But I would think that such a relationship is succeptable to the same type of factors which can either strengthen or erode a typical two party relationship, plus the pressure of poly relationships not really being embraced by our society. So aspects like having sound intentions, clear expectations with one another, and keeping understandings of one another would be good. You also need to have the right type of character to deal with the complexities such a situation would bear. But if the motivations of the parties are not based upon sound intentions, those type of relationships tend to turn to shit sooner rather than later. So that's what I wonder about when I read about a the unsucceful attempts at such an arrangement. Is it because of societal pressures that these types of relationship tend to flounder or is it because people who typically enter into these type of relationships are not going in with sound intentions.


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Awesome points.

I have friends in a long term happy poly relationship (a woman and two men) that's worked out wonderfully.

I am in an open marriage. It's not exactly what I expected, but it works for us. My husband is not involved with my lovers, nor does he have one of his own at this time (he's not interested in the moment).

The biggest problem with non monogamy is that so many people go into it for the wrong reasons. I've heard so many use it as an excuse, and even more try to use it to fix a problem in their relationship. In these cases, yes, of course it's going to fail.

[CurEUs_Male]

Poly and swinging are both potential options for finding like minded folks. Swinglifestyle.com has some good conversations in the forums and chat rooms that can allow for some open discussion. Not so much LTR focused, but open about it....