You Host, they host, or in between? Where works best?

[Tuffnuggies]

You love to play when the mood hits. But nobody seems to be able to ever host.
I can understand why. As much as I would love having someone come to my home, it is just that... My home, my safe place. There are plenty of times when I guess I could have someone over, but the risk of them showing up on my doorstep and speaking to the wife or kids is petrifying. I don't mind going to someone elses home, but I often wonder if it could be a setup to be mugged, arrested, or video taped without knowing. Car sex was fun when younger, but the risk of getting caught and having your picture in the news doesn't work. An ABS... Kinda gross at times, and I don't wanna be with a career booth person. And a hotel? If its an out of towner, sometimes. But you wonder what the story is with them as well...

Curious to hear how you all deal with this issue. And a story wouldn't hurt either.

[cuttin2dachase]

Not having a place where you can safely play is the curse of the bi married man. It is very frustrating knowing there are hundreds of men out there seeking men, but at the same time knowing it can't happen unless one of you has a place to play. Splitting the cost of a hotel room is an option. Finding a private, hidden site for car sex or outdoor sex are options. I would never do that unless I was positive that the spot was where we couldn't be caught. Also, I would never meet a random stranger in an ABS or bath house or park etc. I do regularly meet men with whom I've chatted sufficiently enough to feel comfortable with and trust. You say that there are times when you could host. If you play exclusively with other closeted married or divorced men, none of them will ever show up unannounced, much less blurt out to your wife that they are your lover. They have as much to lose as you do. My worry would be that a neighbor might see another man coming and going and innocently or nosily/gossipfully mention it to your wife. If you aren't worried about neighbors, I see no reason why you shouldn't cultivate a few married prospects online and invite one or more of them to meet for a drink when you are in the mood and have your home to yourself.

I live alone and prefer to host. I do meet new men face to face first for a drink at a place near my home so we can both both decide whether we'll go to my place to play or not. Of the men I've met multiple times at my place, none have ever just showed up without an invitation. I once ran into a married lover who was with his wife in the grocery store and neither of us so much as nodded or batted an eye as we passed. We had just been in bed together the day before LOL. I have also met a few rare married men who were not afraid to host. I still met them first at a place near their home and we went from there. Whether you host or travel to meet guys or get a room or go to a secret outdoor spot to park & play, go about it the same way. Chat until you feel comfortable with them and then take the calculated risk of meeting them near your place or theirs. Almost 100% of the time, safe fun will ensue.

[SilkyHoseLover]

I just answered a similar question in the thread titled: Location, location, location

[sysper]

u bring up alot of good concerns........i think cuttin got it right if ur concerned about the creepiness of a guy......like u probably should.......get to know them 1st online then meet them in person in a neutral spot & decide if u2 like each other enough to go farther. i can't say i know this from practice i haven't been with a guy yet, but this is what i've heard & it makes sense.

[sisboy]

Details can always be worked out!It is the people you have to find that are sane.