Ages on Bisexual.com

[pangalactic1969]

I was browsing around the site today, reading personal ads and I noticed that the average age here seems to be higher than I expected for some reason. I do read craigslist ("I swear I read it for the articles!") and the average age there seems to be in the lower 30's.

I'm geeky enough to actually transcribe all the entries in the massachusetts area into a spreadsheet to find out that the average age of guys here is 40.1 years. We're improving with age, right guys?

Pan

[meteast chick]

You guys aren't the only ones improving with age!!!

Lots of luvin,
meteast :three:

[ScifiBiJen]

I think there are quite a few people on here without personal ads though... and you can't see the age if they don't.

[EludedSunshine]

At two weeks to 21, I'm one of the youngins. I consider myself lucky, not because of my age, but because I didn't have to go through the pain of decades of confusion that many of my friends here did. I was also surprised to see an 'older' average here, but certainly not surprised in a bad way. Age is relatively meaningless to me, both in sex and in friendship. I love these folks. :bigrin:

[wanderingrichard]

yeah, i think that with more maturity comes the freedom to actually do what the hell ya want [ within reason of course] and actually feel good about it.. another surprise to many that don't pay attention to us older folks is that we don't stop enjoying pleasures of the flesh , we're just more open and less guarded than we were when the kids were at home. [ exception being those with children who know about mom and dad etc.]

[TaylorMade]

I'm 23. . .

*TM*

[Tynary]

yeah I noticed the ages were alot higher than I expected as well. I feel really young. I think I'm the minimum age you can be here. Probably why I'm so nervous. But I don't mind talking to people of different ages. Do you think the higher age is something to do with the fact that it is alot more complex discovering your bisexual than gay since you know you might assume yourself to be straight for ages? Who knows I guess.

[becksbolero]

I think i might be responsible...i'm 54...you're all 20 something
Now if i could find a woman in the vicinity....

[Herbwoman39]

Not everybody is a 20-something here :-) I turn 40 in January.

I think the reason that the 20-somethings are here in such proliferation is because it is much easier for the younger generation to come out at an earlier age. Activism beginning in the 60's brought LGBT issues to the public eye when our brothers and sisters demanded to be seen and treated equally. Remember "We're here, we're queer, get used to it"?

Because of much higher visibility and understanding it is easier for the younger generation to come out. My kids were raised not to give a rats behind about what people do in their own bedroom. While my parents had gay friends while I was growing up (God bless Timmy and John R, wherever you guys are now), they gave off a very subtle NIMBY (not in my back yard) attitude. It was all well and good for those two, but their own child? Uhm...NO.

So I do think it's easier for this generation to be free to be themselves. And with the next generation it will be even less of an issue. One day I hopethat the words lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender will be obsolete because the only reaction they'll illcit is a shrugand a "so what?'.

[jbandersnatch]

Well, guess I'm pushing the envelop a bit. At 68 I'm thinking seriously that if I'm going to do anything about my bi feelings & fantasies I better get with it! If it's as big a turn-on in real life as it is vicariously I've been wasting a lot of time.

[neveen]

i feel like i waisted awhole decade of prime dating-sexing times, and i'm just really sorry today's more accepting mindset, and sites like these, weren't around when i was 16, and first debating if i was gay, and then when realizing i still desired men, felt like i didn't really belong...there's a line from "bi any other name"(which i was so scared to finally buy from the bookstore at age 20), where we r not family, but we r kin...and i've never really known what that meant for me...i'm glad i finally woke from that slumber, dun get me wrong...but what i'd give to have felt this confidence and self-understanding when it woulda been more appropriate to mass date, unlike now were i'm looking for a life partner...ah well

[suegeorge]

Do you think the higher age is something to do with the fact that it is alot more complex discovering your bisexual than gay since you know you might assume yourself to be straight for ages? Who knows I guess.


I do think that's something to do with it. After all, if the whole of society says you have to be straight or gay, then it does take a while for bi people to realise that actually you don't!
On the other hand, as there is more publicity about it now, and ways you can meet others - like this site - younger bi people might be able to come out a bit earlier.

Me - I'm 49.

Sue


Bisexuality and beyond (http://suegeorgewrites.blogspot.com)

[canuckotter]

I've known I was bi since just before I turned 19, but if a HS friend of mine had ended up in a different floor in residence, or even if he'd moved in a few hours later and made different friends his first day in res, or if I'd been on a floor where I got along better with the people I lived with and so hadn't spent as much time with my friend... I might never have met the guy who finally forced me to admit to myself that I'm bi. (Not that he was pushy at all -- he was just so hot that eventually I couldn't ignore my reactions to him. :tong: ) In that case, who knows how old I would have been before I figured it out?

Hmm... I'd love to have a magic mirror and see into that alternate universe... lol :)

[DiamondDog]

I'm 23 and I've known since I was 12 at the youngest and 16 for sure but I didn't have a label for it and that was OK since I was just myself then and still am.

Bisexual is the only word with any cultural currency to describe my sexual
orientation in a way that most people can understand - for better or worse.

I try not to get wrapped up in labels/identities/politics but it's a lot easier to say I'm bi to someone if I meet them at a bar/club than to say, Well I'm sexual but you can call me queer, sexually fluid, bi, or pansexual if you want to give me labels.

[12voltman59]

I do think that a big reason that the average age here tends toward being older is the fact that the Internet is so much a part of our world now--I first started going online around 1995 and the Internet as we now know it was a rather new at that time---

I started looking for a place like this back then--the places that I found back then are all gone now--

One of my favorite places that was sort of like this site back in the mid-1990s was a site called Webchat Broadcasting System.com---it was a great chatting place--at that time I was still pretty much into pagan/wiccan and there was a room there on that which was a great place. WBS had chat rooms for many interests--in addition to the pagan/wiccan chat room, another one that caught my eye was a "male bisexual curious" chat room.

In each of those rooms--I found some great communities---

WBS got bought out by ABC/Cap Cities when they were trying to establish a major web presense--they bought up many sites and then the moster mouse (AKA: Disney Entertainment) bought ABC/Cap Cities and turned over all of the web properties they had been obtaining to "GO.Com" which was totally fucked up.

While ABC/Cap Cities had left WBS alone and kept things the way they had been under the founding company's rule--Disney could not keep their hands off and they started eliminating features that everyone had come to love---they especially did not like all of the freewheeling things that went on inside the site and sure did not there being rooms for things like paganism/wiccanism or bisexuality--

The site died a quick death at the hands of Mickey Mouse and Michael Eisner...as did the entire "GO.COM" project

I know that is bit off topic but I have been seeking a great place on the Internet ever since the death of WBS--I just found this room late last year...

I am so glad I did find it.

I did find that the age there did skew a bit older as well too---so maybe it is that it does take people many years to identify and come to terms with their bisexual side...at least it did for my generation--

I hope for the younger generations--it will be easier to identify as being bi or whatever that is not purely "str8".

[Tynary]

yeah its true that this generation find it easier to discover and except bisexuality than the previous generation and of course the internet is more advanced.
I'm 18 and I knew I was bi at 15 for sure and earliest thought about it at 11. (what can I say I had liberal parents.)

[neveen]

(what can I say I had liberal parents.)


bless ur parents <applauds>

[Diane54]

I had these feelings when I was a teen but being raised in a very Fundamental Christian home the subject was taboo. With all the big hooha about homosexuality that goes on in those churches I thought that the feelings were normal but something to be feared and controled. I had to justify my same-sex encounters and make excuses. Not until I left that environment did I realise I had Viable feelings. I have always been the Black Sheep of the family and I can NEVER tell any of them what I have discovered about myself.
I just wish I had realised it whem I was in MY 20's.
You younger generation are so lucky in that respect.
However, I refuse to grow up or grow old - that's all there is to it.

[Lisa (va)]

A persons age here is not so as relevant as to when/how they decided they were bisexual. I was bisexual for many years before coming to this (terrific)
site back when it was BCN. I was 26 back then and I found this site as a s result of my ex g/f (43 at the time) by accidently clicking the history icon instead of favorites and seeing the site listed and checked it out. Thus I found this site due to someone older than 30. It all depends on how old you are when you find a particular site, not when you discovered you are bi.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[Tynary]

thanks neveen and my mum will appreciate being called liberal. she likes that. yeah I agree that the age thing is probs more to do with when you found the site. I found a few days ago while surfing the net because I was bored of gay sites that didn't understand me. I like it here and I've decided to stay (ie add it too my favourites and my make this the site I visit most) yay! I am a little surprised there are not more people my age but it doesn't really matter.

[Brian]

I too have noticed that the average age of our members seems to be higher than you see on most sex-oriented community sites. It sort of blows away the stereotype, that some have, of bisexuality being a phase primarily in young adults.

Which sort of reinforces one of the underlying findings of Kinsey's original study, namely that when it comes to sexuality, false stereotypes are all too common. When adults are given an opportunity to talk frankly and openly about sexuality the results are often surprising.

I'm what I sometimes call a "late bloomer" bisexual - someone who took a good long time to come to grips with their homo/bisexuality. I was 27 before I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't completely straight. It took me another 5 years to understand that I wasn't just some deeply-closetted gay guy in denial, with lingering opposite-sex attractions as a result - that I was in fact bisexual. This year I turned 40 and came out of the closet.

Life is good. Middle age and bisexuality go together like peanut butter and jelly. :)

- Drew :paw:

[Nara_lovely]

Is it the age of people who are Bi, or the site content that keeps us here?

There are plenty of 'pick-up' sites.
How many have forums and such a wealth of experience, caring and understanding? Let alone a place to leave the thoughts without being attacked (too much). This site has a quality about it, that attracts those in the 30'ish age range moreso...because it feeds the thirst for knowledge more than the thirst for a thrill.
The chatroom has a variety of levels for general conversations to very intimate and complete privacy. It caters for most of the individuals as well.

There is depth here for the taking, and the opportunity to give too. Maybe this site appeals as it brings out the best in each of us?

Oh...38 by the way.

[12voltman59]

Is it the age of people who are Bi, or the site content that keeps us here?

There are plenty of 'pick-up' sites.
How many have forums and such a wealth of experience, caring and understanding? Let alone a place to leave the thoughts without being attacked (too much). This site has a quality about it, that attracts those in the 30'ish age range moreso...because it feeds the thirst for knowledge more than the thirst for a thrill.
The chatroom has a variety of levels for general conversations to very intimate and complete privacy. It caters for most of the individuals as well.

There is depth here for the taking, and the opportunity to give too. Maybe this site appeals as it brings out the best in each of us?

Oh...38 by the way.


Much of what you say is true in regards to the bisexual side of things but not long ago I saw this segment on some news show about people who spend time playing some sort of game--these were people well into their 30s and beyond---I think what is happening generally on the Internet is that it has been around long enough now that more and more people feel comfortable visiting sites on the net--this one 30ish professional woman they interviewed said that at the role playing site she visits--she has more friends there than in real life (no she was not an unattractive lady) She was very attractive and stylish and such with a big time job--generally having "her shit together" and not being some kind of web geek/freak--another stereotype promulgated by MMSM (mass mainstream media).

She found her "community" online at that roleplaying game site--we have ours here---

[ophelia_in_red]

I feel so young! I'm 19 and have been (reasonably) secure in my bisexuality since I was about 15. Now I can't imagine living without it :)

[Biboz49]

...... It took me another 5 years to understand that I wasn't just some deeply-closetted gay guy in denial, with lingering opposite-sex attractions as a result - that I was in fact bisexual. This year I turned 40 and came out of the closet.

Life is good. Middle age and bisexuality go together like peanut butter and jelly. :)

- Drew :paw:

I'm with yah there Drew. It took me a quite a few years to focus and then to understand my feelings and finally to allow myself to accept that I'm bi. I'm 50. It really is a great age to be bisexual. I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it as much at a younger age.

[loz465]

I'm only 18...

[sdimk]

I feel so young! I'm 19 and have been (reasonably) secure in my bisexuality since I was about 15. Now I can't imagine living without it :)

hey i'm 19 too but i wish i had u're confidence. seriously i didn't even consider the idea about liking BOTH until recently. i just always assumed i was weird or something.... now i can just see myself connecting the dots... :tong:

[nwmscurious]

I'm afraid that my being 50 tends to shift the average age northward.

[SweetBlackAngel]

I too have noticed that the average age of our members seems to be higher than you see on most sex-oriented community sites. It sort of blows away the stereotype, that some have, of bisexuality being a phase primarily in young adults.

Which sort of reinforces one of the underlying findings of Kinsey's original study, namely that when it comes to sexuality, false stereotypes are all too common. When adults are given an opportunity to talk frankly and openly about sexuality the results are often surprising.

I'm what I sometimes call a "late bloomer" bisexual - someone who took a good long time to come to grips with their homo/bisexuality. I was 27 before I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't completely straight. It took me another 5 years to understand that I wasn't just some deeply-closetted gay guy in denial, with lingering opposite-sex attractions as a result - that I was in fact bisexual. This year I turned 40 and came out of the closet.

Life is good. Middle age and bisexuality go together like peanut butter and jelly. :)

- Drew :paw:

Heh. That last line would make a great bumper sticker. :tong: :bipride: