Single guys and couples

[nick3635]

I am pretty sure I know the answer to this and I hope I don't get my ass kicked for asking this ... but I enjoy threesomes with a couple and love oral sex (giving and recieving) with both male and female ... I have not done a guy in the ass and have not had it done to me but with the right people would not be opposed to it ... I have not been with a guy one on and and I'm not really into it ... I would love to find a couple who would like to have a single and yes ... as odd as it may sound .. faithful single guy in the life ... why is it so hard to find a couple ? Are most couples just looking for other couples where both are bi or single females ? Do single guys have that bad of a reputation as I think we have ? Since I only think about oral sex with a guy in a mfm situation is that screwed up ? I consider myself bi but have only have a few experiences both of them in a mfm and loved it and would like to continue it but cannot find another couple who is looking for the same thing.
Nick

[DiamondDog]

there's nothing wrong with enjoying 3 ways. ;)

I haven't tried to get with other bi couples where it's a man and a woman. I've heard that a lot of people are a couple where it's a het man and a bi wife and he's looking for a "hot bi babe" for his wife and his entertainment. I've been on the other end of this when a gay male couple wants to find a "hot bi stud" for one night, and I've politely said no thanks.

There's nothing wrong with having sex with a man only when a woman is present. I'm personally not this way at all but lots of men are as I've learned on this site.

I was going to suggest that you date/have another single bi male as a boyfriend, or make friends with a gay male couple but I guess you're not into it. But you don't know unless you've tried. ;)

You mentioned something about "the life" or something. Are you a swinger? I'm not flaming you or anything but from what I've seen swingers just want sex and sex only with people, not relationships. Have you tried looking into any polyamoury groups?

[Lisa (va)]

I think that you hit the nail on the head, there are many more single guys than couples looking for them. And I'm fairly sure more couples are looking for a girl to join them. As a 'faithful' single guy I hope you find a couple you can have a realtionship with.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[twodelta]

I don't believe that a Poly relationship is really what Nick is looking for. The sexual dynamics in a Poly relationship are just part of the whole. A Poly relationship usually infers a high level of emotional and social commitment as well. A Poly relationship also dosen't necessarily mean anything Bi-sexual is going on. Consider a triad with 2 men and 1 woman. The 2 men may be both sexually and emotionally commited to the lady, but only emotionally connected to each other. Anyway, to answer one of Nicks questions - do single guys have a bad reputation in the "lifestyle". Unfortunately they do. Cat(my wife) and I have been in the lifestyle for several years and look almost exclusively for MMF meetings. You wouldn't believe how many no-shows we've experienced. Yes, we did have a couple no-show once, but just once, as compared to at least half of the meetings we've set up with single guys. Even more unbelievable are the guys who think they can get away with lying about wanting/accepting m/m play just so they can be with Your wife. We've actually had a couple of guys, in the middle of intimate play, say - I've changed my mind, I really don't want anything to do with You Dave, I just wanted to screw Your wife. With that said, we have had many great times with single guys and continue to see several of them on a continuing basis. The best advise I can offer is to be completely honest when do communicate with a couple. Let them know exactly what You are looking for, and at any time that You change Your mind about meeting, let them know. You might want to try the website www.swinglifestyle.com - It's very Bi friendly and the only swingging website that we belong to. I wish You the best of luck in Your search, I wish we weren't so far apart - Dave :three:

[GypsyButterfly]

I do believe that couples tend to look more for other couples or women. Why? I don't know. My dh & I talked about it & neither of us is looking for a threesome/foursome or any kind of threeway/fourway relationship. I think those things can work if, everyone is friends, but, no one is in love with anyone else. That's when it gets complicated. At least, that's my take on it. We're not completely closing the door to a threesome. It probably wouldn't be an ongoing situation, though. Honestly, I'd like to see my dh with another guy. That would be hot! Mainly, I'm looking for a gf(something separate from what I have with my dh). If I could only convince my dh to find a bf for himself. Ahhh, a girl can dream ;)

[FlaPlaya561]

Keep trying....Be a gentleman and polite it really pays off ...Works for me!

[vip2469]

You are a fine catch for some cple. We seek someone like you. But you have a hard road ahead of you. We have been approached by many bi males but have been with very few. Your profile has all the right info and sounds sincere. Many times it is the first contact from the male that turns us away. Things like, Hi, You wanna get it on tonight? Never work well. Good luck

[shaver6]

I'm also a single guy looking for couples, and it does seem that most of the couples want another female in the mix, or another M/F couple...but single men are on the bottom of the list. However, if the husband is curious about men, and wants to do something....he feels safer and more comfortable doing it with his wife there. This kind of guy, wouldn't approach another man on his own, but if its a 3-way it seems alright to him.

Myself, I have had a lot more experience with guys, then with girls, and in order to get more experience with girls, it seems more logical to approach couples. Because a women doesn't feel quite as threatened, when she has her partner there with her....assuming she is curious about experiencing another man.

I have only had one MFM 3-some, and I found it VERY enjoyable..I gave equal attention to both of them, and they did the same to me. It was great, just to reach out and feel a stiff cock with one hand, and finger a pussy with the other... :tongue:

So...couples out there...give us single guys a chance, to show you we can make it a pleasurable expereince for you...I'm sure it will be enjoyable for everyone.... :tongue:

[pandoracat]

Hmm I was always the "Third Wheel" in all my freindships with couples. It started early. I would be friends with 2 people at the same time (we all meet summer place) then the two of them would pair up and I would hang out with them.(no sex stuff) well I got to colledge and it sorta just continued. I started makeing a Joke that I was the best dating service.

Then somthing happend I started making out with the two of them and get them together. Sorta like a a 3 some Cupid. I have gotten 8 couples together that have gotten married (best man in 3, Man of Hounor in one) The only time do I laugh is when the families say oh so you got them together and I think hmmm yes more then you ever know.

So now I find myself in a permenent 3 way. I have a Husband and a Wife and two fantastic children. Sometimes you just have to live your dreams and stop fighting to be what you think you wnat and be what you are.

-Pandi :bigrin:

[smoothshaft]

My woman and I are swingers and we enjoy MFM threesomes. I have curiosities about cocks and we hope sometime to find a couple or a man who has that same curiosity. I have no interest in kissing or hugging or anal, but do have a great fascination with cocks. She and I believe that with the right man or couple we could have a lot of fun.

[anne27]

As someone said already, there are many more single guys out there than couples looking for one. It's not an impossible search, however. Hubby and I have had single guys in our bed a few times and enjoyed it throughly. I think if the right guy came along, we'd enjoy a three way relationship like you are wanting.

Don't give up hunting. You'll find it.

[bettybob]

We have had quite a few mmf sessions and have experienced differing levels of male to male. I think this totally to be expected. As a bisexual who truly enjoys the complete range of behaviour I would be equally turned on by a hetro guy who was into plowing my gal or a gay guy who wanted me. We both are into getting single guys off.
The only turn off we have experienced is one time wilters and shy cowards. If you talk the talk walk the walk....

[nick3635]

Sorry it has taken me so song to come back here ... but I am very thankful for everyones responses:

Diamond Dog ... thought about one one one with another guy and not sure on that ... love oral and getting another guy off but not really into anything else ... at least I don't think so at this point. Am I a swinger ? I would like to be but like I said a single male has a tough time living the lifestyle ... haven't been with a guy one on one and not saying I'm opposed to it but right now enjoy (well used to :-) ) messing around with a guy in a couple type situation

Lisa - your right ... finding a couple who is looking for a single faithful guy is tough and doubt I will find that again ! :-)

Twodelta - I completely understand the dynamics and know the games that can be played and am sure you have been through alot of b/s over it .. but I understand it .. am not looking to screw up a relationship and am honestly looking for a couple who will accept a single male in their life .. m/m/f or m/f/f .. to open yourself up with someone that you are with takes an enormous about of faith in your partner ... I would never do anything to put that at risk ... sharing your life like that is the ultimate testimant to me about how much you trust the person you are with.

FlaPlaya - Thanks very much for the vote of confidence and I hope to find someone sometime ... like people have said .. it's hard to believe a single guy is sincere / faithful and not just out to have sex with the woman

Thanks to everyone who posted here .. personally like most other comments .. I'm not into anal or kissing another guy ... but feeling another guy and being involved orally with a woman at the same time was the best time I ever had.

I knew this couple for a long time and ended up at their house like I did many times before. They started fooling around on the couch and I got involved. In the middle of being on top of her while he was in her mouth, she begged me to suck on his cock. Was taken back at first but did it and loved it and we spent 3 months togehter. Job wise they had to leave the state, but I know in my heart I want that again and would never do anything to mess up that type of relationship where you can be so open with the person that you are with.

[jazzer]

We swing with mature M/F couples but still enjoy a session with another male in a MMF threesome. The main problem we have found with single males is they are usually very horny and shoot their load really quickly just as we are getting warmed up and really starting to enjoy another cock. A Married guy we were with was fun but then we were not happy with the cheating, even though he said his wife had lost interest in sex.
We backed out of MMF threesomes for a year and thought they would never work, but just recently we were contacted by a separated guy who was keen to meet us. We are 62 and he is 48 but with his grey hair looks older. He is a really nice guy and loves older couples and was very happy with us. We started with strip poker and our first session together was very erotic. He loves sucking cock as I do and really enjoyed us taking turns with my wife. We both love his cut cock and he is a lot of fun. Being younger than me he managed to cum twice (to my once) and nothing was hurried.
So far we have had two meetings with him and he wants to make things permanent meeting us at least once a week.
He knows we swing with couples and loves to hear what we do with them. Perhaps we can find a couple who would enjoy him joining them. He is really turned on by the idea of a fivesome. Sadly most couples only want to swap their partners but perhaps we can find a couple who would like him to join them too. In the meantime we are looking forward to his next session with us mmmmmmm. :) :tongue:

[nick3635]

MY biggest problem is I"m faithful ... like to find someithing and stick with it .. but most people don't think that a single male can be faithful .. I don't like to sleep around simply becuase you don't know who or what you are with .. I like mfm ... I have 2 divorces for various reasons .. NONE of them realted to mee mistreating her or being unfaithful ... so I discovered what I like and would like to explore .. but most couples . and probably rightly so .. believe that single guys are pigs ... so .. I continue on ... glad to hear about your success and hope it continues to work out for you both !

[curcpl88]

Hey Nick!

I understand your interest and frustration. I think most guys in couples are afraid to aknowledge their interest in other guys and may be threatened by another guy in their sexual relationship with their spouse. I too would love to involve my wife in a 3-some (or more) and also love to have oral sex with other guys. Why can't I have both?

k

[bigbadmax]

my wife and i are both bi....
however i mainly only advertise as male only as most men want a female interest.
I have never played without my wife but am happy for her to play with fems only on her own..she would only allow me to paly with a male on my own.

We started by playing as mmf but have had ffm and mmff.

Most people know their own boundries and therefore only tend to accept certain combinations....
however that said i was talking to a female on another site for ages in the past and she was not allowed to see single males on her own or as a cpl...eventually she came to the understanding that He was allowed his fantasies but she was not and also he could legitimately play around but she couldnt...a one sided affair if you ask me.
I dont think it has anything to do with the namby pamby approach of males are not in touch with their true feelings...people can make up their own minds.

Personally I think that there members on this site who think they know what it is to be bisexual and only accept their own interpretation of that ideal...we dont all shudder in the closet and of course we dont all shout it from the top of the church steeple! and (my fave expression) we dont all need bean bags and flip flops to discuss our sexuality.
I do sincerely hope you find someone/a cpl...we have a nice little 21 yr old who calls and visits now and again and he loves it!

[welickit]

Pretty much everything posted above is factual when it comes to single guys. We are a both bi couple and have had on ongoing relationship with a single guy for over five years. It was us who contacted him first. We had been looking for a bi guy to join us for over a year and a half.
In our opinion single guys don't have a bad name, it is the married cheats who claim to be single that gives the word "single" a bad name. Another thing that tends to turn us off is guys who are on an EGO trip and have names like All Night Stud etc. those who send IM's or emails that have one sentence are just as bad. :2cents:

[PolyLoveTriad]

This is kind of funny to me cuz we find it to be just the opposite! We cant seem to find a single male who wants to have a committed relationship. Everyone we come across only wants a hook up now and then. Maybe the couples who are looking for single men like us, and the single men looking for couples for something more than a fling just arent doing something right?

Luck in finding someone!

[diamond_tether]

We're a couple and single males are actually at the top of our list. Our big issue is that out of all the single guys we've actually tried to meet with - thus far, every single one has flaked out without fail and we've been at this for a couple of years now. We know of several other couples and groups of couples who've had the very same problem. They stopped messing with single guys specifically because of that kind of behavior. Add that to the fact that a number of single guys are cheating, some are a bit too proud of themselves and/or seem to be exercising no discretion whatsoever when it comes to partners - single males as a whole get the short end of the stick. That doesn't even include the majority of the 'Swinging' community that are a Str8 Male/Bi Female couple just looking for other bi females or couples like themselves.

Just be honest, up front and genuine - you'll eventually find what you're looking for because there are definitely folks out there looking for you. ;)

[guycurious]

My wife and I have been searching for another bi-couple for a LONG time. We recently met one, had a romp in the hay, talked with them a few times afterwards and now they do not call us anymore. We're not sure what is going on.

Anyway, you sound just as frustrated trying to find a couple to be monogamous with as we are trying to find another bi-couple. We would also love to find a monogamous, bi male.

We have posted on CraigsList several times and have been flooded with offers from mostly single males and some married males (who are looking to explore their curiousities behind their wives back) As of yet we have not found someone. We will not entertain anyone who is willing to cheat on their spouse.

So if you are willing to move to Illinois maybe we can get together.

[swans]

I think alot of men get turned on by the thought of giving another guy oral sex in a mfm session. I know I do! Although I have had only one mfm experience I am lucky to have regular mmm "orgies" with a couple of close mates (also married). At first (when we were still at high school) it was just the two of us. We would go camping and get drunk knowing that we would end up sucking each others cocks. Thats all it was. But now, many years later, we still meet up and get drunk but now have another friend to share the fun and make a mess with! And have become increasingly more adventurous, latex, vacuum beds, cock rings, oil etc- but whatever we get up to the thing I still love the best is to have, at the end of the night, a good looking cock (or two) between my lips and a face full of hot cum. Nice!

[twocan]

I am pretty sure I know the answer to this and I hope I don't get my ass kicked for asking this ... but I enjoy threesomes with a couple and love oral sex (giving and recieving) with both male and female ... I have not done a guy in the ass and have not had it done to me but with the right people would not be opposed to it ... I have not been with a guy one on and and I'm not really into it ... I would love to find a couple who would like to have a single and yes ... as odd as it may sound .. faithful single guy in the life ... why is it so hard to find a couple ? Are most couples just looking for other couples where both are bi or single females ? Do single guys have that bad of a reputation as I think we have ? Since I only think about oral sex with a guy in a mfm situation is that screwed up ? I consider myself bi but have only have a few experiences both of them in a mfm and loved it and would like to continue it but cannot find another couple who is looking for the same thing.
Nick Nick you do what makes you happy . i also like the same things you do and i am married and like the other side of the street at times. 70 -30 thats the way i like it.

[diamond_tether]

...why is it so hard to find a couple ? Are most couples just looking for other couples where both are bi or single females ? Do single guys have that bad of a reputation as I think we have ?...I consider myself bi but have only have a few experiences both of them in a mfm and loved it and would like to continue it but cannot find another couple who is looking for the same thing.

Nick

A slightly longer and more complete explanation of our interactions with single males:

We're a couple that seeks everything, but actively persue single males directly. The biggest problem we've had with single males is them flaking out. We get to chatting, set up a meeting and then all of a sudden they pull out and toss us a barrage of fairly lame excuses after the fact (typically after having stood us up). We know a lot of couples in the same boat with the same experiences. It, logically, turns some of them off to single males overall. We've also come across folks who threw parties where single males were invited, but stopped inviting them because the guys would make promises and then never show up. It was kind of odd in our opinion because these parties were full of women looking specifically to be with new guys.

Now, we're not saying every single male is this person who flakes out. Our issue arises because out of all the single males we've talked to since getting together and choosing for our relationship to be open, only two have actually showed up. Since single males are a big focus for us, we've talked to a very large number of them. The first turned out to be a bit less than what he represented himself as, the second was just running game on us: He said he was in a couple, but when the time came to meet, at the last minute his partner was mysteriously no longer interested in us (we were too fat and not pretty enough for her tastes) - though he was still interested so it would just be him playing. It's a shitty trick that's been run on us and several other folks we know by single men trying to find an easy in with a couple.

This kind of behavior is what causes the severely negative stereotypes that single males in Open Lifestyles seem to carry. And, as always, the acts of a few screw it for the majority. We've also come across single males who either reeked of desperation and/or were far too promiscuous (in a real risk sense) for us to be comfortable. We didn't judge them for that, they were doing what made them happy - but they seemed to be showing little/no sign of discretion with their partners and would take whatever came along. With the type of people that we are, that didn't work out well in attracting us.

But, despite these issues, the reputation they create and the sheer number of guys who've flaked out on us, we keep trying and looking for more. So, couples looking for single guys are out there, you just have to be willing to go the extra mile to prove you're legit. It typically means bigger/more complete profiles, being a lot more calm/laid-back about the interactions, longer time chatting with people before meeting and finally - showing the hell up when crunch time hits. :)

[biecnal]

I am pretty sure I know the answer to this and I hope I don't get my ass kicked for asking this ... but I enjoy threesomes with a couple and love oral sex (giving and recieving) with both male and female ... I have not done a guy in the ass and have not had it done to me but with the right people would not be opposed to it ... I have not been with a guy one on and and I'm not really into it ... I would love to find a couple who would like to have a single and yes ... as odd as it may sound .. faithful single guy in the life ... why is it so hard to find a couple ? Are most couples just looking for other couples where both are bi or single females ? Do single guys have that bad of a reputation as I think we have ? Since I only think about oral sex with a guy in a mfm situation is that screwed up ? I consider myself bi but have only have a few experiences both of them in a mfm and loved it and would like to continue it but cannot find another couple who is looking for the same thing.
Nick


Jess and I love single men (bi or not). Single men often get shunned in the swinging/alt lifestyle community. We say, the more the merrier!

:-)

[rissababynta]

well, you already know our opinion babes :-P

[xxxcjs]

This seems to be a popular subject. I am very into mmf 3somes but having no luck finding a couple that is open for a male 3rd . I find the thougt of being shared by a couple very erotic and looking for very much forward to the experiance. I also find it kind of odd that men along dont turn me on , but throw a woman into the mix and i am all for it.

[JohnnyV]

Nick,

I don't want to come across as bitchy, but I'm just curious: what do you look like? Are you pursuing really "hot" couples who might just be so hot that they're only looking for guys who are 10s?

The sense I've gotten from other bi couples is that when they swing with single guys, they tend to have pretty shallow criteria. It's all about sex, after all, so why settle for anything less than a male supermodel with pinup looks?

I'm bi and my wife is str8, and we have talked about the turn-ons of bringing a guy to join us. But most bi men I know, in mf couples, who do fantasize about men, tend to fantasize about men with incredible bodies. A lot of such bisexual men get an interest in other men's bodies from the gym or watching professional wrestling or watching porn and noticing how how the men in porn are. I confess -- I am shallow like that when it comes to single guys. I already have a wife, so when it comes to guys, I am pretty much interested only in guys who are totally hot. And guys who are that hot are usually in relationships or else don't have an interest in being the third wheel in a pre-existing relationship.

My wife is petite and kind of matches the standard of the "pretty" woman: long hair, big breasts, slim waist; she weighs like 100 lbs. I'm the stereotypical muscular gym rat, with a big chest and shoulders, military haircut, trunkish arms and legs. We haven't hooked up with a single guy yet, largely because we haven't found any available guys who fit our shallow standards. I know, it's awful, but it's something that plays into the way everyone gets matched up.

J

[bigbadmax]

sex comes into 2 distinct groups

1) pure sex...who cares what they look like as long as you have a damn good romp!

2) Fantasy....the pin up looks etc...mostly the fantasy does not meet up with the real life world...therefore why settle for less than pure un-adulterated fantastic sex with what some might consider as infgerior looks or on the other hand fantastic looks who cant deliver the goods!

just my opinion but hey....I'm just a brit and we dont matter in sexual politics hehehe

bbm

[FalconAngel]

A lot of us couples are looking for something other than just a one-night stand or just a fuck and so the guys that we tend to seek out are within the parameters of what we want in a friend who we would want to sleep with from time to time.

For instance, we want a guy that we are attracted to in the physical sense as well as intellectually and emotionally. We seek guys that we want to hang out with even if we were not sleeping with them.

That is the biggest problem with getting hooked up with couples.
Of course, too many single guys have ruined it for all of the sincere single guys because of the many who just see a couple's profile and try to hook up with just the woman in the couple or will "let" the guy blow him but won't reciprocate because he is straight and trying to "fake" being Bi just to hook up with the woman.

So you single guys are fighting a very steep uphill battle.

The best thing to do is to read through the entire profile and see what the couple is looking for. If you are unclear on something that they put in their profile, then shoot em an e-mail and ask.

We would rather answer e-mails from guys who are not our type who ask about things that they are not clear on than having to keep rejecting insulting e-mails from guys who clearly did not read our profile and, disrespectfully, just wants to hook up with the wife (who's straight) and assumes that I am some kind of cuckold instead of realizing that I am Bi.

[tell_no_one99]

Single Bisexual Males are like feeder fish for couples and females

there is just too many of them

[spartca]

On the other hand, never say never!

I've dated a few couples for years at a time, and it was a wonderful experience.

Keep the faith, and keep a place open in your heart for what you want, and when the time is right, it will happen.