regrets about trying bi?

[sysper]

lately i see alot of talk about how hardly anyone has regretted trying bi & u regret the things u haven't done more than the things u have done & yolo etc. i assume most of u have had experiance with both sexes & wherever u stand now u don't regret u had those experiances. as u probably know i have never been with a guy but i have been very curious. has anyone here ever regretted experementing with the same sex, or i guess if ur more into the same sex, if u tried with the opposite sex? maybe a 1st experiance gone bad? was it because of the gender of the other person or something else? what made u decide to try it again? kinda wanna see what range of things i can expect once i have the chance to try it for the 1st time but, i also wanna understand all of this better, my sexuality & sexuality in general, what to make of the experiance. not that i'm looking for reasons not to try lol. thanks for anything u can share with me! :)

[thirstyfellow]

I think "regret" for trying something new is a misplaced emotion. I do have regrets, but they seem to be limited to those times when I failed to try something new when given the opportunity, and those times where for some reason I caused hurt or pain to someone else. Not really about exploring bi issues to me.

[atxbi]

The only regret I have is not trying it sooner. I didn't suck my first cock until my late 30s, with my first wives encouragement.

[gale_mn]

never had any regrets Just enjoyment

[bw299]

No regrets experimenting with either sex. Experimentation leads to knowing one's self; likes, dislikes, limits, boundaries.

[csreef]

I have No regrets about becoming Bisexual..... If anything, I feel sorry for the people who, for what ever reason have had Bisexual urges,and never explored them...

The last 20 years have been better than the first 30, just because I have explored for my true self. :flag3::flag1::bibounce:

[a2smith09]

No I have no regrets at all. Like many I wish I had done more, faster.

[thatcher29]

No regrets for me. And what's the worst that can happen--you decide you don't like it? It's only a rumor that a scarlet "B" appears on your forehead the first time a straight guy sucks a dick. I've probably tried hundreds of things that I found out I didn't like. Not much of a problem.

[darkeyes]

Being a lesbian I am often asked whether I regret my years as a bisexual most of which I spent actively so. A few years married and spent monogamously interrupted those activities. Put simply no.. I have no regret.. not in the least. I had a ball, especially in the years leading up to that marriage. Sure there were both guys and gels that were less than they could have been as human beings and sexually but whatever our sexuality we are likely to have people like that in our life and our bed. That I ceased to enjoy sexually both genders is in some ways regretted for I remember the fun I did have, but if I don't fancy I don't shag... some come to bisexuality as they go through their lives.. some leave it behind. Mine is long gone and my sexuality moved on, but I serpently have no regrets whatsoever for the years spent as a bisexual person.

[rajones]

My only regret is not being more open about my sexuality. Only one straight person knows I am BI, and we are married. There are a lot of BIs or gays that know I am BI. I am not out telling everyone I am BI, but if it comes up I am not going to deny it anymore. If I were more open I am sure I would have had a lot more lovers.

[monaohio]

my regret is I did not let guys do me when I was younger

[a2smith09]

my regret is I did not let guys do me when I was younger

LOL why is that? I'm on of those that did start out younger. I don't regret it but would appreciate the other perspective

[csreef]

Being more open about your Sexuality can be a Double Edged Sword . . . Not too many people that I have come across have been receptive to Male Bisexuality...

On the other hand, I heard of a story where a woman confided in a co-worker that she was Bisexual, and litterly the next day , female and Male co-workers came up to her asking if they could have sex with her...

Personally, I am open about my Sexuality to only a very few people that I trust...


My only regret is not being more open about my sexuality. Only one straight person knows I am BI, and we are married. There are a lot of BIs or gays that know I am BI. I am not out telling everyone I am BI, but if it comes up I am not going to deny it anymore. If I were more open I am sure I would have had a lot more lovers.

[bw299]

Being more open about your Sexuality can be a Double Edged Sword . . . Not too many people that I have come across have been receptive to Male Bisexuality...

On the other hand, I heard of a story where a woman confided in a co-worker that she was Bisexual, and litterly the next day , female and Male co-workers came up to her asking if they could have sex with her...

Personally, I am open about my Sexuality to only a very few people that I trust...

The only people that know I am bi are the people with whom I am involved. If I were to come out it would be devastating to my career. I think my family would handle it, but definitely not my career. An no, I am not clergy.

[thickneasy]

nope no regrets about taking the dick.

[Fzmr9t]

some. now it's almost a craving for male/male contact. If i'd never started, I'd still be curious, but would I be so distracted by it, like I am now?

[whistle1]

I have wondered the same thing; as I always seem to read stories of first-time encounters that were great. Once in a blue moon, I will hear how an encounter did not go well, for whatever reason. That apparently did not stop the person from continuing with their bi activities however.

I think you have to know the type of person you are. Can you do something, not like it and say "Oh well, at least I tried." or are you the type who would try something, not like it and say "Oh God, I feel miserable for doing that"?

[Yman67]

No, I don't regret trying bi. In fact, the only regret I have is turning 65 as a widower. Not much happening since then.

[sysper]

thanks so much everyone for ur responses & encouragement!!! i'm so glad i found a website where we can be frank & ask about what kinda things get us off but also, step back & have intelligent conversations. so i get a big "no regrets!!!" from pretty much everyone, that's what i was expecting lol. a way to explore urself & ur sexuality which is good. if any regrets regretting not trying sooner. also something i was expecting. definately fell that myself.

[sysper]

some. now it's almost a craving for male/male contact. If i'd never started, I'd still be curious, but would I be so distracted by it, like I am now?
there are times i get pretty distracted by it & i havent' done anything, so my guess is u might still be distracted anyways lol

[sysper]

Being a lesbian I am often asked whether I regret my years as a bisexual most of which I spent actively so. A few years married and spent monogamously interrupted those activities. Put simply no.. I have no regret.. not in the least. I had a ball, especially in the years leading up to that marriage. Sure there were both guys and gels that were less than they could have been as human beings and sexually but whatever our sexuality we are likely to have people like that in our life and our bed. That I ceased to enjoy sexually both genders is in some ways regretted for I remember the fun I did have, but if I don't fancy I don't shag... some come to bisexuality as they go through their lives.. some leave it behind. Mine is long gone and my sexuality moved on, but I serpently have no regrets whatsoever for the years spent as a bisexual person.
u allways got such thoughtfull responses :) it's helpfull u showed how u treated bisexuality through ur life to where u are now. also glad to hear a female perspective on it too, i think it's important to hear from both sexes & understand it better.

[sysper]

I have wondered the same thing; as I always seem to read stories of first-time encounters that were great. Once in a blue moon, I will hear how an encounter did not go well, for whatever reason. That apparently did not stop the person from continuing with their bi activities however.

I think you have to know the type of person you are. Can you do something, not like it and say "Oh well, at least I tried." or are you the type who would try something, not like it and say "Oh God, I feel miserable for doing that"?
u bring up some real important points. i'm sure there are stories when an encounter didn't go well but it made the person realize it isn't for them. it's hard to find though, probably not gonna find them here lol. so it would be interesting to hear stories where a 1st encounter was bad & some stories where they decided to try it again & some where they didnt. i usually say "at least i tried" when i try something new & i don't like it. with gay sex if i tried it & i didn't like it i would feel the same way on some level. but i can't help but feel i might also be grossed out to some extent if i did something that was so against my sexual orientation. but i won't let that stop me from trying :)

[hung4you]

Now that my wife knows and enjoys my bi side my only regret is not involving her sooner. Our sex life after 30 years of marriage is once again super hot. She loves to participate as well. Seeing her 110 pound body getting pounded by our big cocks is a huge turn on. We enjoy teaming up and she and I love sucking his cock together sharing the reward. It is truly awesome.

[bw299]

u bring up some real important points. i'm sure there are stories when an encounter didn't go well but it made the person realize it isn't for them. it's hard to find though, probably not gonna find them here lol. so it would be interesting to hear stories where a 1st encounter was bad & some stories where they decided to try it again & some where they didnt. i usually say "at least i tried" when i try something new & i don't like it. with gay sex if i tried it & i didn't like it i would feel the same way on some level. but i can't help but feel i might also be grossed out to some extent if i did something that was so against my sexual orientation. but i won't let that stop me from trying :)

Anal. Tried it, both ways with male and giving to female, didn't care for it. Don't regret trying it, but it just didn't do anything for me.

Now my 1st wife use to do me with a small vibrator while she sucked me and I loved that and so did she. She did not care for receiving anal, either.

No regrets.

[Shelby57]

I only have two regrets:
First one is not returning the favor when a guy sucked my cock when I was 15.
Second is the last guy I was with smoked and had the nastiest tasting cum I can imagine. I could taste his cigarettes it it. yuck.. Non-smokers only from now on. :)

[pole_smoker]

Being bisexual is not something that you "try". A person either is bisexual, or they are not and are gay/lesbian, or heterosexual. A person can be a complete virgin to both sexes/genders and yet they are still bisexual. Now if you are wondering if either myself or my husband had regrets having gay/bisexual sex with the same gender/sex or heterosexual sex with the opposite sex/gender the answer is no.

[csreef]

Now that my wife knows and enjoys my bi side my only regret is not involving her sooner. Our sex life after 30 years of marriage is once again super hot. She loves to participate as well. Seeing her 110 pound body getting pounded by our big cocks is a huge turn on. We enjoy teaming up and she and I love sucking his cock together sharing the reward. It is truly awesome.

Sounds like the makings for a good Porn Movie. . . Hint, Hint

[whistle1]

u bring up some real important points. i'm sure there are stories when an encounter didn't go well but it made the person realize it isn't for them. it's hard to find though, probably not gonna find them here lol. so it would be interesting to hear stories where a 1st encounter was bad & some stories where they decided to try it again & some where they didnt. i usually say "at least i tried" when i try something new & i don't like it. with gay sex if i tried it & i didn't like it i would feel the same way on some level. but i can't help but feel i might also be grossed out to some extent if i did something that was so against my sexual orientation. but i won't let that stop me from trying :)

You obviously know what kind of person you are and know that you would likely have no regrets. That is a great thing.

I think I might be more the second type of person...

[sysper]

Being bisexual is not something that you "try". A person either is bisexual, or they are not and are gay/lesbian, or heterosexual. A person can be a complete virgin to both sexes/genders and yet they are still bisexual. Now if you are wondering if either myself or my husband had regrets having gay/bisexual sex with the same gender/sex or heterosexual sex with the opposite sex/gender the answer is no.
i understand u can know ur a certain orientation without any experiance. and i think some people here suggest i genuinely like guys, like them more than i let on. more than a passing curiosity. maybe u see more than me. that's fine i can accept that. but i still have some confusion about my feelings & somethings i just won't be sure of untill i have the experiance.

[sysper]

thanks for the vote of confidence :) i think a very important thing for u, me too, is to find a guy u can trust. someone who understands where ur coming from & will be helpfull & supportive. so if u dont like it he will accept it & do his best to focus on the fact u dared to try something different & now u r clearer on things, rather than reminding u u played with his weiner lol.
You obviously know what kind of person you are and know that you would likely have no regrets. That is a great thing.

I think I might be more the second type of person...

[cuttin2dachase]

I have no regrets about trying bi, The only regret I have is that I was 32 yrs old before I did try it. After the first time I played naked with a man, I knew I'd be bi for life. I have enjoyed and gloried in having mm fun in addition to mf fun and group fun ever since. I don't read any psychological elements or aspects into it. To me it's all about sex, pleasure and friendship/bonding with other men who really enjoy having fun and sex with men as I do.

[Bifun2009]

My first encounter was when I was 33. I spent a few years prior, renting gay male porn movies and buying a few gay magazines and a dildo to use on myself. I wasn't much for using the dildo on my ass, but I would stroke myself for hours when watching the videos or flipping pages in the magazine. I fantasized on what it would be like to fuck a guy and having him suck my cock. As time went by, I grew more curious in what it would be like to be in the 69 position with another guy and sucking each others cocks. It took about 3 years for me to finally, play around with the first guy. We met on the old AOL Instant Messenger in a chatroom. He was 6 years younger than me and we chatted online every day for about 2 weeks. Our first meeting was at his place and I remember my adrenaline was on overdrive, but nervousness played a part too. I was there for maybe and hour at most and we sucked each other to which, he asked for my load and I gave it to him. I did not take his load, but instead, got dressed and went home. Once I got home, I took a shower and jumped in bed, telling myself that this would be the one and only time that I would ever do this and that I would remain faithful to my girlfriend. One side of my brain regretted taking the plunge, but the other side was much more powerful and reminding that I've been turned on by watching gay male porn. Fortunately, the desire remained strong and I continued to communicate with the same guy and get together with him. A few more times, I went home with the same mixed feelings, but kept enjoying our encounters too much to give them up. With each visit, I became more comfortable to the point that after several months. We promised each other that it would only be the 2 of us and neither of us would seek out additional male partners.

We played with each other, off and on for 10 years until, I met a new woman that eventually became my wife. For 3 years, the desire remained strong and one day I reached out to him via email, expecting the email to be no longer any good. 2 days later, he replied and a few months later, we picked up where we left off. I am 54 now and he is 48. He moved a long distance almost 4 years ago and we hadn't spoken until this past Christmas. My only regret is that we had 2 extended periods of no contact (3 and 4 year stretches). He is moving to within a 3 hour drive from me and we just met up again, 2 weeks ago, when he came into town to visit family. I am divorced (have a GF) with kids now and so is my buddy, but the visit 2 weeks ago was well worth the wait. The great thing about being Bi is that I love spending time with my girlfriend and doing what couples do. But, I love that I have rekindled a past friendship with a buddy that I can say is my lover too. Seeing that I've always been the top with him and he loves being a bottom. We are moving forward with experimenting with him fucking me for the first time in a couple of weeks. Something that I've always wondered as to how it would feel to have a mans cock in my hole......yep, looking forward to expanding our play time and my ass, lol.

[eager4cum]

like so many of you, my only regrets are about what I did not do, like being more open about my bisexuality. I am very happy about what I did do, like experimenting with my friends back when I was 12.

[al_atlanta]

I regret not letting guys suck my cock until joining my first couple with a husband into it at 17. I passed on quite a few offers.

[charman]

No regrets here unless just the fact I don't have a fuck buddy to get together with now.

[DMercator]

I think "regret" for trying something new is a misplaced emotion. I do have regrets, but they seem to be limited to those times when I failed to try something new when given the opportunity, and those times where for some reason I caused hurt or pain to someone else. Not really about exploring bi issues to me.

Well said.

[csreef]

my only regrets are about what I did not do, like being more open about my bisexuality.

Not being more open about your Sexuality is something that you shouldn't have any regrets about, OK.

Personally, I am only open about my sexuality to a handful of people that trust absolutely. That has been my choice.

[The Black Knights]

The only regret that I have about being bi is that I didn't realize, nor explore this side of my sexuality more when I was a young adult (20s), before marriage and children and life came in where there would have been fewer consequences or worries from my actions (when you play safe). But, at that time, I was also not in a area where I could have easily and discreetly done such, though I did a few things. Worse yet, I didn't have the knowledge nor support to understand such then, either. Now, realize that I love and prefer women and that wouldn't have changed either way. But if I had the knowledge then that I have now, I could (potentially) have had fewer lonely nights and had more NSA fun during the periods I was single. When you get older (40's and beyond), single or not, it is not as easy to find "adult fun", much less be able to "perform" reasonably if and when you do. I can still go...thank the Lord...but it is more work to do so. Some of us, men and women are not so lucky, even some who are younger than me. Just saying.

[Bear816]

I have NEVER regretted a single minute of trying Bi. It is wonderful and has opened up a whole new world for me. And I have to thank my wife for asking me to try it. I love sex with both men and women and my wife loves watching me have sex with guys. She gets so turned on and masturbates while watching me suck or being fucked that she cums spool loud I'm afraid the neighbors are going to hear her. Lol

[Joboo]

Regrets, yes as a young teen. After every encounter with the same boy who was my age as well I would swear to myself never again. But hormones kept putting me back into the situation which was only jerking each other off. It made for an uncomfortable friendship since later I found that he was full on gay and I wasn't, when I started getting GF's that would fool around I abandoned my sexual relations with him. This made our friendship become uncomfortable since we saw each other almost everyday and hung out with the same group of friends. After a few years of no sexual contact he and I ended up alone one night. At 18 we were having beers and he wanted to go park in an area that I wasn't familiar with, not one we all use to use to drink and smoke pot without being found. I knew he was going to make a move but went along. I figured at worst I would get a handjob and have to give one as well.

Once there he did move and I was enjoying the handjob and felt bad so I started to reciprocate. His penis had grown a great deal since 14 and I was oddly excited by this. I had never been attracted or excited by him or his penis just his touching of mine. As I stroked him and admired his thicker longer penis I suddenly had the urge to suck on him, just a little I thought and figured he would return the favor. Once I went down I was again surprised about how much I enjoyed it, it was very hard and soft at the same time. He did go down on me as well but for some reason I was enjoying sucking him more than being sucked. I had been sucked by several different girls and I found that he had never been sucked. His enjoyment sort of overwhelmed me and I quickly decided since I had already started it I was going to finish him. His orgasm was extremely dramatic for lack of a better term and I continued on him until he was beginning to get soft. As soon as he went down on me I came, I had never been so excited and at the time it was the best orgasm I had ever had. He remarked after that he had no idea it could feel so good. After I was extremely remorseful, he was not and we must have repeated the act a dozen times over the coming days.
This continued for about five years, me having many gf's and he having none. At 20 or so he told me what I already knew, he had no interest in girls. At that age and many years after it ended at 23 I deeply regretted the arrangement, it's always made me confused since I never desired doing this with anyone else.it was many years before I even had a hint of desire or attraction to another guy.
The first person I was attracted to was so much like him but it never happened. I was in my early 40's by then. Now years later I would like to explore it again.

[borntosuckcock]

Never had any regrets. I started sucking older men's cocks when I was 8 and loved it and have ever since. I'd been looking at older men's cocks in the public showers for a long time and used to jackoff thinking about sucking them.

[sysper]

sounds like u & ur wife share a certain appreciation for sexual openess. u2 are matched pretty good! glad u2 enjoy being togather :)

[sysper]

thanks for this. finally a regret where the regret isn't that someone didn't try it sooner lol. ur journey to feel comfortable sleeping with ur friend kinda sounds like my journey to accept the thought of being with a guy turns me on. everytime i got so excited by the thought after i j/o i felt guilty & ashamed i ever even thought about it i thought it would be the last time. but after several months it came back. the desire was still there. overtime that period became shorter & shorter. i have come a longway just as u have & now im pretty much constantly open to the idea. altthough i have got a feeling i will have similar feeings to my 1st time with an actual guy as u did. but u overcame them & allowed urself to enjoy the experiances. i know i can do the same thing too. the idea sounds pretty exciting as well as hot. i know it will be a challenge & i will have to overcome alot but it's something i feel i need to do but also something i'm looking forward to do. goodluck with ur friend/lover & have a fun filled time lol.
My first encounter was when I was 33. I spent a few years prior, renting gay male porn movies and buying a few gay magazines and a dildo to use on myself. I wasn't much for using the dildo on my ass, but I would stroke myself for hours when watching the videos or flipping pages in the magazine. I fantasized on what it would be like to fuck a guy and having him suck my cock. As time went by, I grew more curious in what it would be like to be in the 69 position with another guy and sucking each others cocks. It took about 3 years for me to finally, play around with the first guy. We met on the old AOL Instant Messenger in a chatroom. He was 6 years younger than me and we chatted online every day for about 2 weeks. Our first meeting was at his place and I remember my adrenaline was on overdrive, but nervousness played a part too. I was there for maybe and hour at most and we sucked each other to which, he asked for my load and I gave it to him. I did not take his load, but instead, got dressed and went home. Once I got home, I took a shower and jumped in bed, telling myself that this would be the one and only time that I would ever do this and that I would remain faithful to my girlfriend. One side of my brain regretted taking the plunge, but the other side was much more powerful and reminding that I've been turned on by watching gay male porn. Fortunately, the desire remained strong and I continued to communicate with the same guy and get together with him. A few more times, I went home with the same mixed feelings, but kept enjoying our encounters too much to give them up. With each visit, I became more comfortable to the point that after several months. We promised each other that it would only be the 2 of us and neither of us would seek out additional male partners.

We played with each other, off and on for 10 years until, I met a new woman that eventually became my wife. For 3 years, the desire remained strong and one day I reached out to him via email, expecting the email to be no longer any good. 2 days later, he replied and a few months later, we picked up where we left off. I am 54 now and he is 48. He moved a long distance almost 4 years ago and we hadn't spoken until this past Christmas. My only regret is that we had 2 extended periods of no contact (3 and 4 year stretches). He is moving to within a 3 hour drive from me and we just met up again, 2 weeks ago, when he came into town to visit family. I am divorced (have a GF) with kids now and so is my buddy, but the visit 2 weeks ago was well worth the wait. The great thing about being Bi is that I love spending time with my girlfriend and doing what couples do. But, I love that I have rekindled a past friendship with a buddy that I can say is my lover too. Seeing that I've always been the top with him and he loves being a bottom. We are moving forward with experimenting with him fucking me for the first time in a couple of weeks. Something that I've always wondered as to how it would feel to have a mans cock in my hole......yep, looking forward to expanding our play time and my ass, lol.

[1funguy]

I don't know about regret unless it could be called "not educated in the ways of sexuality" as most of us older men and women only knew what was taught or not by family, trusted friends or what was seen in magazines of the day...
My own experience came from an older neighbor (me 18, him 60 freshly showered). Didn't know much then but fell into a 69 position with no prompting from him. It felt natural as he held my young cock and sucked so I followed with the same action (side by side in bed) not really knowing the final outcome. As it happened the harder he sucked, I did in return. We actually came at the same time. Yes, I did swallow. I fell asleep with my head on his leg and his on mine. Once I woke up I took the dick looking at me, softly sucking life back into his cock and repeating the experience. Unfortunately, It never happened again. However, this has served as benchmark for other experiences. My sexual education regret at the time has been solved in many ways.
So having said that, you don't know what you don't know until you have experience and correct information to answer the questions that run through your head.

[sysper]

so basically, go for it? :bigrin:
I don't know about regret unless it could be called "not educated in the ways of sexuality" as most of us older men and women only knew what was taught or not by family, trusted friends or what was seen in magazines of the day...
My own experience came from an older neighbor (me 18, him 60 freshly showered). Didn't know much then but fell into a 69 position with no prompting from him. It felt natural as he held my young cock and sucked so I followed with the same action (side by side in bed) not really knowing the final outcome. As it happened the harder he sucked, I did in return. We actually came at the same time. Yes, I did swallow. I fell asleep with my head on his leg and his on mine. Once I woke up I took the dick looking at me, softly sucking life back into his cock and repeating the experience. Unfortunately, It never happened again. However, this has served as benchmark for other experiences. My sexual education regret at the time has been solved in many ways.
So having said that, you don't know what you don't know until you have experience and correct information to answer the questions that run through your head.

[sysper]

The only regret that I have about being bi is that I didn't realize, nor explore this side of my sexuality more when I was a young adult (20s), before marriage and children and life came in where there would have been fewer consequences or worries from my actions (when you play safe). But, at that time, I was also not in a area where I could have easily and discreetly done such, though I did a few things. Worse yet, I didn't have the knowledge nor support to understand such then, either. Now, realize that I love and prefer women and that wouldn't have changed either way. But if I had the knowledge then that I have now, I could (potentially) have had fewer lonely nights and had more NSA fun during the periods I was single. When you get older (40's and beyond), single or not, it is not as easy to find "adult fun", much less be able to "perform" reasonably if and when you do. I can still go...thank the Lord...but it is more work to do so. Some of us, men and women are not so lucky, even some who are younger than me. Just saying.
plus u would of learned more about urself sexually earlier if u felt more free to get togather with guys too. u also described alot about my regret i never tried it at an earier age. i don't think it's too late for me overall but would of been more interesting to explore the same sex earlier in my life. it would be a different kind of experiance. some of the wonder would be gone as an older person. plus like u said, it's harder to find adult fun as u get older.

[sysper]

interesting story. sounds like u both learned something about urselves & each other. i'm sure awkward & maybe painfull but u learned. hope u find another opportunity.
Regrets, yes as a young teen. After every encounter with the same boy who was my age as well I would swear to myself never again. But hormones kept putting me back into the situation which was only jerking each other off. It made for an uncomfortable friendship since later I found that he was full on gay and I wasn't, when I started getting GF's that would fool around I abandoned my sexual relations with him. This made our friendship become uncomfortable since we saw each other almost everyday and hung out with the same group of friends. After a few years of no sexual contact he and I ended up alone one night. At 18 we were having beers and he wanted to go park in an area that I wasn't familiar with, not one we all use to use to drink and smoke pot without being found. I knew he was going to make a move but went along. I figured at worst I would get a handjob and have to give one as well.

Once there he did move and I was enjoying the handjob and felt bad so I started to reciprocate. His penis had grown a great deal since 14 and I was oddly excited by this. I had never been attracted or excited by him or his penis just his touching of mine. As I stroked him and admired his thicker longer penis I suddenly had the urge to suck on him, just a little I thought and figured he would return the favor. Once I went down I was again surprised about how much I enjoyed it, it was very hard and soft at the same time. He did go down on me as well but for some reason I was enjoying sucking him more than being sucked. I had been sucked by several different girls and I found that he had never been sucked. His enjoyment sort of overwhelmed me and I quickly decided since I had already started it I was going to finish him. His orgasm was extremely dramatic for lack of a better term and I continued on him until he was beginning to get soft. As soon as he went down on me I came, I had never been so excited and at the time it was the best orgasm I had ever had. He remarked after that he had no idea it could feel so good. After I was extremely remorseful, he was not and we must have repeated the act a dozen times over the coming days.
This continued for about five years, me having many gf's and he having none. At 20 or so he told me what I already knew, he had no interest in girls. At that age and many years after it ended at 23 I deeply regretted the arrangement, it's always made me confused since I never desired doing this with anyone else.it was many years before I even had a hint of desire or attraction to another guy.
The first person I was attracted to was so much like him but it never happened. I was in my early 40's by then. Now years later I would like to explore it again.

[Intimate_Light]

47377


Being bisexual is not something that you "try". A person either is bisexual, or they are not and are gay/lesbian, or heterosexual. A person can be a complete virgin to both sexes/genders and yet they are still bisexual. Now if you are wondering if either myself or my husband had regrets having gay/bisexual sex with the same gender/sex or heterosexual sex with the opposite sex/gender the answer is no.

This brings us to the famous "Kinsey Scale" of orientation.
Which may be both helpful and a relief to those new to such desires.

But before I get to that and also related to it:

First, have to state where I'm at with being bi:

Have had a few what I call "bi-light" experiences. A couple started in my teens (I'm 62, never married and due certain life challenges, i.e. a form of disability, while my youth was precocious, most of my adult life has been rather monk-ish - but definitely NOT a-sexual - lol).

But here is the funny thing...

I did NOT even consider myself potentially bi until around age 49 or so. At all. Looking back part of this awakening attraction was a kind of projection - my fascination and love for my own cock and groin lit the fire to want to touch and have sex with another man.

And it started happening right in the middle of the first hetero relationship I had had in 11 years. Which really confused me. A lesbian friend set me straight (un-intended pun), and this where the Kinsey scale comes in.

THE KINSEY SCALE OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR ATTRACTION

Simple graph of it is this:

100% Hetero <-----------------------------------------------------------------> 100%Gay/Lesbian

She told me about it and put my confusion to rest as I looked into it.

And since I'm a male, I'll use that gender in this 'splanation, but it obviously applies to women also.

1. There are an infinite number of variations and gradiations between those two (in part artificial 100%) absolutes poles.

For example: She said that there are plenty of hetero men who have bi fantasies but who never get to or want to act them out. Or there are men -- like me -- who are not romantically attracted to men, who just want sensual play and companionship, but the experience of what same-gender sex offers.

2. Human sexuality is a fluid thing unique to each individual in terms of when urges or interest appear - subconsciously or consciously.

That is, even though I was attracted to slim kids my age - there was feminine projection or attraction of sorts, I never thought of myself and didn't pursue kids or young men. It just happened a couple of times as jacking off, letting myself being touched by an older guy (and feeling both good and repelled by it) that sort of thing. that's it. So it was all subconscious.

And that fluidity applies in terms when one starts to be conscious about it too - since subconscious tends to precede conscious awareness. As I said, it was only in the latter part of my life that the desire to see photos of cocks and male on male penetration, etc. started to awaken.

Point being:

There are no rules or shoulds about when or how our sexuality flows one way or the other, and that it can continue shifting over a life time or even a weekend. Each person's life story and life experiences are unique, no-one is a carbon copy of another.

So if you are someone who is new to such attractions, whatever your gender, don't lock yourself down to some arbitrary "I am..." this or that.

Whatever it is in the moment, that is what it is. It can shift in intensity or direction the next, and/or be a progressive growing leaning and thirst for same-gender experience. The step back from it for a while, only to come back stronger or different later.

Put simply understanding the Kinsey Scale is one other version of what someone once called
The 11th Commandment:

"Thy should not should upon thyself."

____________

For full disclosure:

In terms of my own self-imposed or chosen limitations (one could call it a "should", but it's not) -- which have greatly reduced my opportunities, I don't deal with what I call cheating-on situations. Even though I have empathy for those in difficult marriages and relationships wherein they can't or don't feel safe to "come out".

Why that line in the sand?

Because many years ago, I made love to a married woman and I also have been cheated on. It really sucks and hurts.

And I also saw the sense of threat to that girlfriend I mentioned above when I brought up to her my budding attraction to male cocks and wanting to experiment (I may have already had one experience not long before meeting here - I don't remember). We had a very no-games, no lying, no bullshit relationship.

But with that kind of honesty comes the risk of someone getting hurt or feeling sidelined. This even though I didn't see it as an either/or thing - just another part of me.

Not long after that we split amicably, though not not for that specific reason.

This doesn't make me morally superior to others who do or behave otherwise. I go by live and let live. It's just that I can't deal with the guilt and sense of karma. My disability is a form anxiety disorder. So I need and want to feel happy, free, playful, and innocent when having sex.

[pole_smoker]

47377



This brings us to the famous "Kinsey Scale" of orientation.
Which may be both helpful and a relief to those new to such desires.

But before I get to that and also related to it:

First, have to state where I'm at with being bi:

Have had a few what I call "bi-light" experiences. A couple started in my teens (I'm 62, never married and due certain life challenges, i.e. a form of disability, while my youth was precocious, most of my adult life has been rather monk-ish - but definitely NOT a-sexual - lol).

But here is the funny thing...

I did NOT even consider myself potentially bi until around age 49 or so. At all. Looking back part of this awakening attraction was a kind of projection - my fascination and love for my own cock and groin lit the fire to want to touch and have sex with another man.

And it started happening right in the middle of the first hetero relationship I had had in 11 years. Which really confused me. A lesbian friend set me straight (un-intended pun), and this where the Kinsey scale comes in.

THE KINSEY SCALE OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR ATTRACTION

Simple graph of it is this:

100% Hetero <-----------------------------------------------------------------> 100%Gay/Lesbian

She told me about it and put my confusion to rest as I looked into it.

And since I'm a male, I'll use that gender in this 'splanation, but it obviously applies to women also.

1. There are an infinite number of variations and gradiations between those two (in part artificial 100%) absolutes poles.

For example: She said that there are plenty of hetero men who have bi fantasies but who never get to or want to act them out. Or there are men -- like me -- who are not romantically attracted to men, who just want sensual play and companionship, but the experience of what same-gender sex offers.

2. Human sexuality is a fluid thing unique to each individual in terms of when urges or interest appear - subconsciously or consciously.

That is, even though I was attracted to slim kids my age - there was feminine projection or attraction of sorts, I never thought of myself and didn't pursue kids or young men. It just happened a couple of times as jacking off, letting myself being touched by an older guy (and feeling both good and repelled by it) that sort of thing. that's it. So it was all subconscious.

And that fluidity applies in terms when one starts to be conscious about it too - since subconscious tends to precede conscious awareness. As I said, it was only in the latter part of my life that the desire to see photos of cocks and male on male penetration, etc. started to awaken.

Point being:

There are no rules or shoulds about when or how our sexuality flows one way or the other, and that it can continue shifting over a life time or even a weekend. Each person's life story and life experiences are unique, no-one is a carbon copy of another.

So if you are someone who is new to such attractions, whatever your gender, don't lock yourself down to some arbitrary "I am..." this or that.

Whatever it is in the moment, that is what it is. It can shift in intensity or direction the next, and/or be a progressive growing leaning and thirst for same-gender experience. The step back from it for a while, only to come back stronger or different later.

Put simply understanding the Kinsey Scale is one other version of what someone once called
The 11th Commandment:

"Thy should not should upon thyself."

____________

For full disclosure:

In terms of my own self-imposed or chosen limitations (one could call it a "should", but it's not) -- which have greatly reduced my opportunities, I don't deal with what I call cheating-on situations. Even though I have empathy for those in difficult marriages and relationships wherein they can't or don't feel safe to "come out".

Why that line in the sand?

Because many years ago, I made love to a married woman and I also have been cheated on. It really sucks and hurts.

And I also saw the sense of threat to that girlfriend I mentioned above when I brought up to her my budding attraction to male cocks and wanting to experiment (I may have already had one experience not long before meeting here - I don't remember). We had a very no-games, no lying, no bullshit relationship.

But with that kind of honesty comes the risk of someone getting hurt or feeling sidelined. This even though I didn't see it as an either/or thing - just another part of me.

Not long after that we split amicably, though not not for that specific reason.

This doesn't make me morally superior to others who do or behave otherwise. I go by live and let live. It's just that I can't deal with the guilt and sense of karma. My disability is a form anxiety disorder. So I need and want to feel happy, free, playful, and innocent when having sex.

That's very good you are not into lying and cheating on a partner or spouse. A lot of the fools here believe that if you are bisexual that it's fine to cheat and lie to a partner or spouse.

[Intimate_Light]

That's very good you are not into lying and cheating on a partner or spouse. A lot of the fools here believe that if you are bisexual that it's fine to cheat and lie to a partner or spouse.

Thanks. Not a very popular stance or attitude these days and one that reduces my options a lot.

But as ''splained more below, being self-righteous about it would be hypocritical.

I confess cruising local Craigslist and I'm amazed at how common the words "discreet" and "can't host", etc. show up.

That said, again...

This is simply a needed personal choice due to life experience and basically having my ass kicked by karma swift and fast - back in 84' where I rather arrogantly (though well-meaning) made love with a married woman who had an abusive husband.

That is, I played lover-healer. The naked "hero".

It stemmed from my first rude awakening 8 years earlier while in design college when I was 23: by then 19 y.o. girlfriend figure model at the school who had been abduction-raped by her then "boyfriend" at age 16, and someone with one of those horror stories home life growing up.

I was naive and had the hubris of youth that I could "save" her - be her knight in shining armor.

I did convince her mother to finally take her to their gynecologist for I noticed a tear in her labia from a desperate coat-hanger self-abortion attempt. But in the end, she was just too wounded as a person and it was all a bit too much out of my league, and I had to let her go.

Women and others have entrusted their stories of abuse and rape over my life time here and there.

Point being: Good intentions -- like wanting to provide someone who was or is in a damaging or neglected relationship may be a natural instinct. So maybe in one way, that's why all this cheating-on happens, both as the givers and receivers of such comfort and pleasures.

That's why I can't be self-righteous about it. I understand it. I empathize.

And trust me, I did some stupid, stupid as well as dishonest things in my younger years (unrelated to sex also).

BUT...

Life just gave me some tough lessons in all of that, and that's why I have those standards. It now appears and is a form of moral compass, but actually just the result of freakin' "live and learn." Born of necessity, not virtue.

It just feels clearer, simpler, and free of the fog of deception. Which makes it far easier to get a nice hard on and just enjoy.

Now, all that said, aging monk-y man here better graduate from "bi-light" before he croaks - lol.
There is something just so OMG inviting of seeing a nice ass with clean, nice cock and balls hanging down from it...

(And I'm working on it - it's just not easy due to that one non-negotiable - and also that I'm not into airhead sex, over 60, skinny and not wealthy. But the main point for me is that I've got to at least really like and be really liked by the person or persons for it to work for me, and to work for my cock...)

[Bigredfish]

No regrets becoming bi, but regrets who I told..I got beat up 2 times by men I thought were trust worthy learned hard core lesson. Nope don't talk to either of these people one happen 40 years ago the other 28 years ago. I guess why other then here on this site I am closeted bi yet. I guess my part of the USA is not always accepting. So I build friendships before sex happens due to what has happen to me. I have met many wonderful people not gonna be negative about a thing just use more caution. I have small group who know my being bi all are miles from me now. Its part of joining here making new friendships and hoping for more.

[Intimate_Light]

No regrets becoming bi, but regrets who I told..I got beat up 2 times by men I thought were trust worthy learned hard core lesson. Nope don't talk to either of these people one happen 40 years ago the other 28 years ago. I guess why other then here on this site I am closeted bi yet. I guess my part of the USA is not always accepting. So I build friendships before sex happens due to what has happen to me. I have met many wonderful people not gonna be negative about a thing just use more caution. I have small group who know my being bi all are miles from me now. Its part of joining here making new friendships and hoping for more.

Fortunately never had your "bashing" experiences. But like you, I'm also VERY cautious about who knows about my bi-leaning side. I have only 2 friends in real life, and several FB Friends. Half sister knows but due to her nun-ish life, sex is not something I talk to her about. No siblings and parents passed in the early 80s.

Simply put, this is my personal business, no-one else's and so I set the boundaries on who knows or doesn't.

And as you alluded to, the anonymity of online or at a distance connections for discussion, etc. makes it easier to open up. And feel safe doing so.

[sysper]

No regrets becoming bi, but regrets who I told..I got beat up 2 times by men I thought were trust worthy learned hard core lesson. Nope don't talk to either of these people one happen 40 years ago the other 28 years ago. I guess why other then here on this site I am closeted bi yet. I guess my part of the USA is not always accepting. So I build friendships before sex happens due to what has happen to me. I have met many wonderful people not gonna be negative about a thing just use more caution. I have small group who know my being bi all are miles from me now. Its part of joining here making new friendships and hoping for more.
so sorry to hear this noone should ever ever experiance this. hope those people open there eyes & realize how wrong they were.

[nashs.bath]

Zero regrets, I love being Bi.

[elian]

For years growing up I knew I was "different" and I struggled with not fitting in to what society considered "normal" and wanting acceptance from others but the fact of the matter is that being bisexual is a part of who I am, just like my eye color, skin color, hair color and many other attributes. I am very glad that I got to see marriage equality in my state in my lifetime. Whether your religion still says it's wrong or not, it just makes it easier to deal with when the law says that all people should have that right. By the way, there are some open/welcoming LGBT friendly denominations so if faith is important to you shop around.

I stopped trying to be what I -thought- everyone else wanted to be and started being happy just being genuine to who I am. What you -think- people believe about you and what they actually believe are two different things that may surprise you.

When I first learned I was different I would have given anything to be like everyone else, now? No way. Being bi has taught me empathy, it has taught me how to live with a little bit of uncomfortable adversity in my life and make the most of it. I have ALWAYS wanted to love people regardless of gender ever since I was small, it's a very natural thing - the only thing that makes it supposedly wrong is that society believes it's taboo.

Real men and women aren't in magazines and on TV, real life was photoshopped out of the media, so don't judge yourself based on stereotypes, just be who you are. People routinely fail, people routinely hurt and people routinely experience joy - that's part of being human. Don't ever lose sight of the fact that you are loved and worthy. There's more value in learning from the experience than whether you actually succeed or fail.

The happiest day of my life is when I stopped with all the labels and just decided to be me. Being who I am is good enough. There are a few places where I still don't feel comfortable being "out" but for the most part I haven't looked back.

I also agree that friendships first are very important, for a lot of different reasons. Not everyone likes that and it's cool, but that's what works best for me.

[Intimate_Light]

For years growing up I knew I was "different" and I struggled with not fitting in to what society considered "normal" and wanting acceptance from others but the fact of the matter is that being bisexual is a part of who I am, just like my eye color, skin color, hair color and many other attributes. I am very glad that I got to see marriage equality in my state in my lifetime. Whether your religion still says it's wrong or not, it just makes it easier to deal with when the law says that all people should have that right. By the way, there are some open/welcoming LGBT friendly denominations so if faith is important to you shop around.

I stopped trying to be what I -thought- everyone else wanted to be and started being happy just being genuine to who I am. What you -think- people believe about you and what they actually believe are two different things that may surprise you.

When I first learned I was different I would have given anything to be like everyone else, now? No way. Being bi has taught me empathy, it has taught me how to live with a little bit of uncomfortable adversity in my life and make the most of it. I have ALWAYS wanted to love people regardless of gender ever since I was small, it's a very natural thing - the only thing that makes it supposedly wrong is that society believes it's taboo.

Real men and women aren't in magazines and on TV, real life was photoshopped out of the media, so don't judge yourself based on stereotypes, just be who you are. People routinely fail, people routinely hurt and people routinely experience joy - that's part of being human. Don't ever lose sight of the fact that you are loved and worthy. There's more value in learning from the experience than whether you actually succeed or fail.

The happiest day of my life is when I stopped with all the labels and just decided to be me. Being who I am is good enough. There are a few places where I still don't feel comfortable being "out" but for the most part I haven't looked back.

I also agree that friendships first are very important, for a lot of different reasons. Not everyone likes that and it's cool, but that's what works best for me.

Well put and honest. As well as honoring the humanity -- and its imperfections -- that we all have. And that true sex has to have some foundation of actually liking and caring (even in an FWB way) about the other person, not just oneself. Craigslist is so full of crass, me-me-me airhead stuff that makes it too much of a sewer for me.

And yet... I still check int out in hopes of finding that one decent actually-a-human-being in the midst of the manure. I live on a fixed Social Security and disability income, so unlike many I can't afford to travel or "buy sex" (even if I wanted to, which I don't).

Have had few connections made there, but I also know the warning signs that the person isn't who they say they are, etc.

Besides, as Johnny Depp once said in a Charlie Rose interview in terms of his long friendship with Marlon Brando, one of the things he learned from his friend and mentor that he felt he could apply in his own younger life.... "The older people get, the less they give a shit about what others think about them." Probably didn't say shit on CR, but that's what he mean.

Being 62, that's unfolding for me even though I still have the age-related insecurities of "Yeah, I'm getting uglier by the day..." kind of stuff - particularly from the neck up - lol. Which is weird for up to age 50, I never really thought about my looks one way or another. But once I tripped over the 5-0, something happened.

Well, I have to get over it or integrate it.
Gotta get and be real.

[mm1084]

I deeply regret never experimenting before getting married.

[Fred_Brice]

I deeply regret never experimenting before getting married.

You are not alone, I have meet many who had shared the same words!

[csreef]

Zero regrets, I love being Bi.

Sounds good to me ! :flag1:

[BiMelbDude]

No regrets. Just wish I had been open about it earlier. Love being a bottom boy.

[jackbirdjay]

No regrets at all. I started at 14 with guys at first. Then at 16 had anal with a older married guy and fell in love with it. Then at 18 had my first girl and it one that knew what she wanted. With guys it came easy because I knew what I liked but girls were hard for me because didn't know what they liked. My only regret I was in denial about lovibg sex with guys but still did it with them. 60 now and bisexual love both sexes

[sysper]

glad u eventually learned to accept what u like. maybe going through denial & getting over it made u appreicate it more. glad u feel free to be with both sexes.
No regrets at all. I started at 14 with guys at first. Then at 16 had anal with a older married guy and fell in love with it. Then at 18 had my first girl and it one that knew what she wanted. With guys it came easy because I knew what I liked but girls were hard for me because didn't know what they liked. My only regret I was in denial about lovibg sex with guys but still did it with them. 60 now and bisexual love both sexes

[delpark]

I regret turning down offers from guys when I was in my twenties. One in particular asked me if I wanted to get my rocks off. I declined then, but it awakened a desire in me later. I wish I had responded with something such as "Yes, I would love to. Why don't we both?" I regret I did not have a homosexual lover to guide me into the pleasures of gay sex. I regret the years of denying my desire for cock.

One night when I was in my latter twenties I was drinking in a bar and approached by two guys. One asked if I would be interested in going home with him, his wife liked threesomes. He pulled a picture of a nude woman out of his wallet and said it was his wife. The second guy was affirming the first one's story. I declined. I wish I had said yes, to see where it may have led.

I regret not coming to terms with being a cocksucker earlier in life.

[Biintraining]

I like hearing this but father it not hearing from those who tried and left it at that.

[sysper]

I regret turning down offers from guys when I was in my twenties. One in particular asked me if I wanted to get my rocks off. I declined then, but it awakened a desire in me later. I wish I had responded with something such as "Yes, I would love to. Why don't we both?" I regret I did not have a homosexual lover to guide me into the pleasures of gay sex. I regret the years of denying my desire for cock.

One night when I was in my latter twenties I was drinking in a bar and approached by two guys. One asked if I would be interested in going home with him, his wife liked threesomes. He pulled a picture of a nude woman out of his wallet and said it was his wife. The second guy was affirming the first one's story. I declined. I wish I had said yes, to see where it may have led.

I regret not coming to terms with being a cocksucker earlier in life.
sounds like u had some good offers. but it's good u figured things out in the end & u learned u like guys. but i don't think it would of been a good idea to take up the offer of the 2 guys. i'm generally against anonymous hookups cause so much can go wrong so keep that in mind. but u don't know if he was telling the truth. how could u know that picture was really of his wife? what if u got to his place & it turns out his wife was not into 3sums but he assumed he could convince her just by bringing a 3rd person over? of if she "unexpectedly" wasn't home? i'm not saying u couldn't of had fun with him alone. but if he lied about having a wife what else could he lie to u about? most i would of done is offered to meet him & his wife out somewhere & don't go there until u know they would both be into it.

[foundpuppy]

I only regret my younger years trying to be "hetero" while all the time knowing I was happier being bi. Many wasted years.

[jimmy111]

you are right. I'm 52 and have had bisexual urges most of my life but haven't explored them only through porn and fantasy. Not trying and being my authentic self has not been healthy for me. Unfortunately my current situation is not conducive for exploration and I'm not ready to make changes at this time.

[csreef]

I only regret my younger years trying to be "hetero" while all the time knowing I was happier being bi. Many wasted years.

Indeed, indeed ! :flag4:

[Joboo]

First experience was at 13 or 14. Regretted it right after the first time we jerked each other off but couldn't resist going back to him. After a short break in HS we got back together one night and moved on to oral. Same regret after at 18 but kept going back. At 18 I realized I was attracted to his penis. It was larger than mine. At 20 or so I became okay with that part of me, he had been the only one and I wasn't attracted to guys romantically at all or sexually. Just his dick.
I was a good looking guy and very popular, at that age and later guys came on to me all the time along with women. I always opted for the women, I regret that now. There were several guys, at least 3 I felt an attraction to, one was because I saw his dick hard in the sauna at the gym. He kept pulling his towel away and showing it to me, I just sat there staring at it. He was exactly the type, tall real slim and his dick was even bigger than my old friends, I chickened out. I regret not moving on the 3 that I could have, it would have been so easy.

[sysper]

yeah i see how u could regret not going for it when u had clear chances. i kinda regret not accepting bisexuality when i began feeling it in my early 20's. so much guilt :( when i could of been getting over the guilt & at least checking it out. plus it would of been so much easier at that age. i was in college so there were so many kinds of young people there. including guys no matter there orientation they are so horny at that age & can go on & on! i could of had so many hot nites. but here i am still haven't done anything with guys but still wanna. so i guess it's not too late. i look forward to it. i hope u got to do more with guys but if not don't be too hard on urself. the right guy will come along & be understanding. but also important, u definately went for the women. they are hot :) btw did u ever discuss ur sexual feelings with women u were with? i'm wondering what there reactions would be.

[plainguy]

My only regret is that I have not gone past my bicurious stage to fully bi, I am really wanting to try many things.

[Luvthewater]

My only regret is that I have not gone past my bicurious stage to fully bi, I am really wanting to try many things.

That was my regret until a couple days ago. Now my regret is not trying sooner!!!

[xp243]

No regrets like cock and pussy both. Still waiting to have both at the same time. Trying to talk wife into a 3some.

[MAcpl69]

Xp243 has she discussed it with you? I have told my wife about my feelings and she has even got into some anal play with me. Still trying to get my dick in her ass. Hoping if I can get her to do that she might be more interested in bringing in another guy for a 3some

[xp243]

She is not into it but she does anal play with me