Need help getting parents to listen

[angel_ash22]

Hi, I have been out to my friends on being bi for 6 yrs now, but I have yet to get my parents to listen to me about it, and tried again this yr to tell them. How do I get them to listen and hear me out, let alone support my decision. I mean they have a hard enough time accepting that my best friend which is a guy is gay and to even let me hang out with him. Whats even worse is I am 22 and yet have to live by their rules since I am living in their house. They are helping me and giving me a place to live sine I have two kids and have no babysitter to find a job plus I am in school. Anyways, back to the point, how can I get them to listen to me if they haven't even tried to hear me out or even listen to me the past 6 yrs? Could use all the ideas I can. Thanks

[Herbwoman39]

Angel ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Sometimes people aren't ready to deal with the idea that their children are sexual beings, let along BIsexual. Maybe the only way they know how to deal with this is to ignore it and hope it goes away. Basically it sounds like they have (metaphoricly speaking) stuck their fingers in their ears and run around yelling "LALALALALALALALALA!! I can't hear you! LALALALALALALA!"

You can't make someone listen who isn't ready to hear you.

Maybe someone will have some better advice. In the mean time, just be yourself. They're your parents. They'll keep loving you.

[shameless agitator]

I say if they're not ready to hear it yet, don't force the issue, especially while you're still living with them. Why is it so important to you that they understand? Obviously I don't really need an answer to that question, but I think you probably do. :2cents:

[arana]

I must concur...if they don't want to hear it then you can't make them. Just live your life and be happy. They may eventually come around but if you try to force it you could create something worse.

[sammie19]

Ash. I'm not sure I can help but I do sympathise so much with your dilemma. I just couldnt tell my parents I was bi, not because they wouldnt support me but because of my personal involvement with someone I loved and still love so much. In the end it was my being spotted by someone from my home town while clubbing 60 miles away that exposed my sexuality to my parents. Mum and dad were fabulous, and the town gossips got no change out of them. What estranged us wasnt my sexuality but the eventual discovery of the name of the person I was involved with. The first secret my mum and dad could understand because I was raised in a very small community with Victorian attitudes, and they are lovely modern thinking people who brought me up to be myself and not who society thought I should be. The second was too much for them and this they could not understand or accept. There were very good reasons why we kept our relationship secret, not the least of which was the friendship my mum had with her. I find myself wondering often, that had we been honest and brave enough to just tell mum and dad whether my parents and I would be so far apart now. Would we have in time got them to come round? I just cant say. But the fact that we didn't? Did this mean that it was inevitable that they would dig in and just refuse to accept our relationship whatever? God only knows.

I am still paying the price and still cry myself to sleep for the loss of the love and respect of my parents. What makes it worse is that the stresses and bitterness that came out of all this made the relationship absolutely impossible. Things were said between all of us that should never have been, and I have lost the three people I love most in the world.

Dad always went on and on about every action having consequences. I have learned this all too well the hard way. Even now I am so much in a twirl in my head I dont know if I would have done anything any differently. But deep down I know really, whatever the consequences, We should have been open and honest with my parents. You have to decide what you do and act accordingly. Life isnt easy Ash is it? I hope you can work it out and your mum and dad do eventually understand and accept who you are.

[Mrs. Taz]

I wont dare tell my family, they would disown me. so please think twice b4 deciding they definatly should know. wanted to tell you also that you can lead a horse to water but you cant make em drink, meaning if they wont listen or wont believe you then you cant make them.

[Reprob8]

First of all, I try to never agree with shameless but in this case I do.

I think that you should be as honest with your parents with everything EXCEPT this, they are not ready and it serves no purpose to upset them at this point. I have adult kids living at home and it is a tenuous situation at best. Once you get your own place, a job and stability then revisit this. At this point they have too much control over yours and your childrens lives and in a misguided attempt to "help" you they may cause harm.

[shameless agitator]

First of all, I try to never agree with shameless but in this case I do. Have I told you lately that you're an asshole?

[Reprob8]

Have I told you lately that you're an asshole?

Yes but as previously stated I rarely agree with you. What is up with the buhner look?

[shameless agitator]

Yes but as previously stated I rarely agree with you. What is up with the buhner look?
Oh you missed that phase. It was a combination of being fed up with my hair & drinking a bottle of absinthe.

[Reprob8]

Oh you missed that phase. It was a combination of being fed up with my hair & drinking a bottle of absinthe.

Shameless and I are brothers. He is slightly activistic and I can forsee the day that I have to bail him out of jail for tying himself to the side of a fishing ship with Greenpeace.

[shameless agitator]

A recruiting station with NION would be more likely.