Retirement as a bi

[CurEUs_Male]

Bi-tirement?
So my wife and I have been beginning to discuss long term future plans. She’s a New England’s at heart, and after just 23 years in the mid Atlantic area, she would prefer to retire to NH, in its cooler, less humid summers and snowy winters. She knows I don’t like the bitter cold, and expects we’ll stay somewhere further south - but not the retirement mecca’s we see on all the ‘best places’ articles.

I struggle, more than anything, with finding bi community. I realize I’m tired of constantly trying to find or build a community, and would prefer to move into a more developed bi/bi-friendly community when I stop working and look for more social interactions with others “like me”

I’ve read a lot of so called LGBT retirement articles, but they honestly focus on l and g. I’m surprised one of the measures is bars and nightlife (really? For retirees? - these articles must be written by 29 year olds thinking 30 is retirement age!)

So what’s your opinion on retirement targets?
What do you look for in you next, last home?
Is an open, accepting bi community a possibility?

[Long Duck Dong]

There is one LGBT rest home in australia and from what I have heard, its bitch central, meaning the attitude of some of the residents towards the staff and other residents... and sexual harassment of staff has happened...... but I quess you are looking for retirement communities and villages.....

bars and nightclubs, yes, think more low key social gatherings, out for drinks and dancing etc.... used to own a bar with friends that catered for LGBT and we did have L, G, B and T nights but the bi nights failed cos of lack of support and interest from the bi community, for which we ( the owners ) got the blame for not catering for the bi community more.... the reality was a lot of bis were going to the L, G and T nights where they were not openly visible as bi people and because they were socially known as straight, they were not seen as L or G..... it often came across as they wanted the fun without the drama....

IF I was in the US, honestly I would not consider going into a business partnership catering fir bis and thats simply because of all the headaches and issues, a business has to generate an income and based on past experiences, bis are not a safe gamble when it comes to businesses like bars and nightclubs....but a community LGBT village that welcomes bis, yes definitely, its worth investing in.... even in this site, there are bis ( male and female ) that are older people and looking for friendship, social gatherings and communities, just like you.... but the US is a big country and not all of them can move to one state lol.....

The biggest issue that you appear to be finding is that L and G tend to be more open and visible, and dare I say it, less focused on the sex and run and that may be why there is not much in the way of community.. and something I have noticed, is a lot of older bisexual guys tend to lean more on the gay side because they are less likely to find female sex partners, where as male sex partners appear to be easier to find......

Where I live, we have a social group that numbers over 100 people but come social gatherings, you would be lucky to get 10 people come..... yet the majority of them complained about nothing for LGBT in our area.....its a no win situation

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that other members have information and places that would make your pi community paradise a reality

[Jazminedress]

Heck, there used to be a bisexual conference for a few years, problem was, everyone bitched to have one, and hardy anyone showed up. Oraganizers tried for a while. I think long duck is correct, the BI community trys very hard to slide in and out (no pun intended) of both worlds without getting caught, especially the men

And there have been many discussons on issues between the gay community NOT being accepting of Bi's, at this point in evolution, I have no clue what the answer is

[thatcher29]

I have not explored these places personally, but I've talked to a number of guys who tell me that nudist camps in places like Florida are hotbeds of bi activity. I think that anyplace where there's a lot of older people that you'll find a lot more open gays and bisexuals. I guess it makes sense at our age that we're not working and no longer care what people think. So maybe you can talk the wife into becoming snowbirds and spending at least part of the year in warmer climes.

[CurEUs_Male]

Thanks for your thoughts guys.

@sdbrit - BiCon still happens in Europe, BECAUSE is seemingly going strong as a fall conference. This year I saw a SFBiCon attempt too, but the picked the same weekend as BECAUSE, and seem to have gone quiet online for publishing and getting people interested.

@LDD - I doubt my wife would be happy in one of the LGBT villages, as a straight female... she would probably complain every day. I guess my question is more around cities/towns, and states, where retirement needs and benefits are supported along with an open mind to LGBT citizens.

[playful808]

> I struggle, more than anything, with finding bi community.

This is a great topic, big thanks to CusEUs_Male for introducing it!

Look at college towns with active LGBT communities.

My lovely wife and I are also “of an age” and looking to retire somewhere cheaper than Oahu.
We have our criteria, which includes staying in the topics.

We are looking at Panama, Ecuador, Mexico, Uruguay, even Thailand.
The US dollar goes insanely far in some places.
First rate health care can be had for less that most US co-pays.

All of these nations have liberal college towns, and some have become destinations for LGBT tourism.
Puerto Vallarta, for example. Some cities also have large US expat communities.

[Christopher South]

You do realize that southern New Hampshire is basically northern Massachusetts, right? Massachusetts has a pretty good cross section of the LGBT community so you won't be that far away.

[CurEUs_Male]

Chris,
I’m well aware. Lived my first 33 years in MA. I just can’t deal with the bitter snowy winters. And black fly season. I offered up being snowbirds, she did not like that idea! As it is now, I’m an hour and a half from DC, which is a good lgbt space. It’s just I want things closer. Short of building a bi commune, not sure the woods of NH are quite right for me. They are nice though.

[Realist]

If you can stand the heat and humidity of Florida, Miami, Ft Lauderdale, St Petersburg, Key west, and some other Florida locations, are becoming more LGBT friendly. St Pete just had a big rally and I didn't hear of any friction, there.

However, this is not a good place, if you enjoy the changing of the seasons!

[playful808]

My lovely partner and I both dislike the cold. Good thing.
Can’t imagine being happily partnered with someone who felt fundamentally different.
Likewise, I could not partner with a tobacco smoker.

For me, the problem with Florida is that it is in the Bible Belt. Ameri-stan. I simply won’t live there.

[bithunder]

New Hampshire is a great place for retirees. NH is flush with seniors, and horny ones too. Check "doublelist"
Taxes: No state or city income taxes. No sales taxes.
Politics: Middle of the road about 50/50 liberal/ conservative.
Cities with liberal attitudes in sexual practices: Portsmouth, Keene - maybe Durham too. But no Bi Pride parades though.
Proximity to very liberal Boston: ~ 30 miles from border. Parking in Boston is difficult. Red Sox are world series champs.
Winters are not that bad. Roads are uniformly kept open.
Summers can be warm. Right now, 3 PM in SNH 80 F.
I can find older sex partners anytime.... restricted only by wife.

[NjbiGuy01]

This is somewhat bizarre. This is like saying you want to live with white people or blacks or whatever. There is no magic "gay zone" you can retire in. I would look online at the various websites like this one, Adam, SLS, and see what's out there. Honestly, you can't really be guided by some magic area. Outside of maybe the village in NYC or San Francisco being known "gay areas", I don't know how viable this quest will be for you.

[KDaddy23]

If there's such a thing as a bi residential community, I'd move there in a hurry - and I hate moving with a passion! You just never know how many folks of retirement age are bisexual and looking to keep on being bisexual in their retirement unless you settle in your retirement area of choice and start looking around for any established groups or, if there aren't any and you need something to do, figure out how to get one started. I know some folks come to my home state to retire - and I'll be damned if I know why but I'm biased since I was born and raised here - and have settled in a couple of areas around Dewey Beach and Rehoboth... but are they bi or even interested? Who knows?

Now, I just did a Google search and - surprise! - I found this: https://www.meetup.com/cities/us/de/wilmington/lgbtq - and, apparently, you can use this site, pick a city, and see what's going on there and even start your own group.

Sorry for the color change - I just copied the link as I saw it - but maybe this would be a good starting place when you're looking at a particular area to retire in?