Scared of not being able to fully satisfy my partner. What tips would you give?

[Bisexual765]

Yeah, so I am female

I am afraid that I won't be able to satisfy my bi partner like another man would. For many reasons.

First there is the blowjob/handjob thing where men say that the best ones come from other men. But that's less of a worry for me personally

The biggest worry is the one with receiving anal sex. A deciding majority of bi men says that the most intense orgasm they ever got was from bottoming for a guy. At the same time it was their best sex ever. I am fully aware of the fact that a strapon feels nothing like the real thing and since I don't have a penis, I just won't be able to give the "best part of sex" to my partner.

I don't blame bi men for preferring sex with men but it is just hard as a woman, knowing that your partner has had better and you won't be able to reach this level of "better". One thing worth mentioning is that I overall don't support polygamy so an open relationship is not an option. Not a threesome either.
How can I make it sexually satisfying for us both? Even without the "real thing"?

[chtampa]

It seems as if you may think a "Bi" guy is sexually high maintenance. To me a guy or a girl is just an option. Sex is mental after all. For me it is the same as large versus small breasts, blonde or brunette and tall or short. A partner that leaves me satisfied is all that matters.

[Long Duck Dong]

its not about what other people say, its about what your partner desires and enjoys....... its easier to read the more vocal opinions in the site and think OK this is what my bi partner wants, than to ask your partner what they want....... but your partner speaks for himself, we do not.....

yes, you have some valid statements about how some people say that the best anal they have had, is bottoming for a guy..... for some that is true, but there are guys that are not into bottoming or anal, they perfer oral....some perfer to top....so yeah talking to your partner will help you both understand what he desires and that gives both of you, room to compromise.....

A strapon does feel different to a guys penis but some guys enjoy being pegged by a female and they are both different experiences. some guys like me, love both but I am in a closed group of my intersex female partner, one guy and two females.... so I am on the recieving end of things a lot,... and yes my female partner was born with both sex organ, a very rare type of person because they are both functioning, so I can speak from the experience of being fucked by a female with a cock........ because I love being pegged by the two ladies in our group, fucked by the guy and also fucked by my female partner, I am not going to have the attitude that anything a female attempts sexually, a guy can do better cos thats simply not true, but I only speak for myself and I do not have a gender bias.....

my own group that I am in, came about because they were looking for somebody to actually have a serious open minded conversation with, about being bisexual, bad dates, pushy partners ( specially for the ladies cos they were expected to have 3somes to please male partners ), and how difficult it was to find like minded, long term people that were respectful and looking for more than just sex...... it started with a elderly guy ( since deceased ) who suggested / invited two ladies he knew, and who knew me, and later my current partner..... when we talked about a replacement for the elderly male, we spoke to around 40 males, we stated closed group, sex is secondary to good conversation, dining and friendship, and the females were not there just for the males sexual pleasure, the majority of males had the attitude that they were there for sex only and that the females were there to be fucked by the guys...... so yeah mindset is everything and your partners mindset is the most important, not what other people post on the forum.......including me......

[Neonaught]

Try not to over think things. My wife and I have never had any issues. As for men being better at oral than a woman, well, I think that's doesn't always hold true. As a couple, if you have good communication, you can use a combination of experience with him and observation when he is with a guy to figure out what really trips his trigger. I highly recommend learning how to give a prostate massage. I taught my wife and she's gotten damned good at it.

[Bisexual765]

But even a finger cannot be as pleasurable as a penis. Maybe I don't have anything to say because I don't have a prostate. But I try to rely on what others tell

[Ebbtide]

You can try putting a butt plug in him and make him cum the way he prefers. I think he will enjoy it.

[KDaddy23]

Don't overthink it, talk to him about what he likes and all that, and whatever y'all do, give it you very best effort - while having fun, too. Sure - guys who enjoy being topped like the real thing but I'm thinking that there's something very special about your lady strapping one on and doing her best to pleasure you that way. Do men really suck cock better than women? That's the general consensus... but there are men who can't suck cock like a pro just like there are women who can't and in this.hmm, I'd ask him what he thinks about this and if it matters. You can only do the best you're capable of doing and when it comes to sex, probably the biggest mistake we make is trying to live up to someone else's expectations then worrying about not being able to reach or meet them.

[GeorgiaGuy49]

Hi we are are going to add our two cents worth here to. FYI we are in a similar situation I'm bi my wife pretty much straight but not narrow...….. minded, obviously. We are still together and figuring it out together. She says comunication, comunication and then some more comunication. Ask questions, be curious about whats on his mind. Then be supportive and understanding. It's not easy but try to keep your options open. Saying a hard no to everything is cointerproductive. She says we just push back harder.
Try not to get stuck in your own head because nine times out of ten your imagination is tons worse than the truth. And the best way to get it out and put your fears to bed is to talk to him. Ask him lots of questions if he's OK with that. If you show a genuine interest he'll open up to you in surprising ways. I can tell you this because we are living it for the last two and a half months. After 26 years together we are finally on the same page at the same time and staring over. I don't know the particulars of your situation but if you want to.Feel free to ask us questions here or you can use the servers e-mail.
Married mixed orientation but happy and sexually satisfied.
P.S. It's not so much or always the sex that makes it great but the person you do it with and their intent behind it that matters. And guys do not automatically give better head or anal sex than women. It's the intent and the partner that make it good or amazing.

[Bisexual765]

Now I found out that vagina is easier to replace than penis :(( because a mouth feels closer to a vagina than a dildo to a penis. Insecurity level raised

[SilkyHoseLover]

Nothing wrong being a female, dear lady! They're wonderful, beautiful creatures with many admirable qualities! I'm male, bisexual, married for close to 49 years and LOVE nearly everything about women! Including sexual intimacy.

It sounds like you have the best available tools to satisfy your man - enthusiasm and the desire to please him. Since he's bi, you already know that he is into sex with a woman, so celebrate your good fortune and enjoy yourself! Give me an enthusiastic partner every time over one who's just going through the motions.

Have some confidence -- I'm sure you're a treasure!

[Bisexual765]

Nothing wrong being a female, dear lady! They're wonderful, beautiful creatures with many admirable qualities! I'm male, bisexual, married for close to 49 years and LOVE nearly everything about women! Including sexual intimacy.

It sounds like you have the best available tools to satisfy your man - enthusiasm and the desire to please him. Since he's bi, you already know that he is into sex with a woman, so celebrate your good fortune and enjoy yourself! Give me an enthusiastic partner every time over one who's just going through the motions.

Have some confidence -- I'm sure you're a treasure!

That's wholesome, thank you

[KDaddy23]

If I've learned nothing else about this, it's that having sex with anyone is always a learning experience and a work in progress. Satisfaction is wanted, not always guaranteed and it's usually not always "performance driven" because there are too many factors that can play into not being satisfied... and I'd say one would have to not worry about that but, yeah, we do. You can give all you have to give and a partner can be like, "Is that all you got?" and we're quick to point the finger at each other than to accept that you're just not gonna be able to satisfy each other every single time you have sex and no matter what was being done. And a lot of this depends on what's going on in your head about what satisfying sex is, means, and how it's supposed to go. I've found that having expectations can be a killer and when those expectations aren't met, fuck - how disappointing is that? When you're trying to meet or exceed someone's expectations, you're almost setting yourself up to fail at times because it's not always what you do or don't do - it's their state of mind and emotions that can throw a wrench into things and have you thinking that you can't satisfy them or won't be able to.

So, again, you find out what satisfies them and keeping in mind that this isn't as consistent within them as they think it is or should be. Then you do the best you can because you can't do any more than the best you can do. Pussy versus mouth? If you think about it in terms as being replaceable, you're making a mistake; pussies can be just as good as a mouth can - just a matter of how either is being put to use. Intent. Desire. Skill and all that. Real dick versus dildo? Pros and cons about both. All about preferences. Some women actually find that they have to learn how to fuck! Working toward satisfying someone depends on how you're gonna apply yourself to that end and based upon what you know about your partner and, I think, never assuming that whatever you know isn't ever going to change. Whether I'm with a man or a woman, I never assume that I'm going to satisfy them... but I'm always gonna do my best to satisfy them because to do less than that doesn't make much sense to me. So I don't worry about it; it takes all the fun out of having sex. And by all means, never sell yourself short! Satisfaction isn't guaranteed but it's always a goal to work toward and the work in this never stops.

[GeorgiaGuy49]

Hey it's us again. but this is all me, the guy talking.

Let me start with a little joke (the wife says it's not a joke, you decide) Men have half the money in a relationship, Women have the other half of the money...….but they have all the pussy!
SO they can have the other half of the money anytime they want it!

Second remember he is just life support for a dick and he can be replaced with another life support unit. Also I am bi and I can tell you that yes a mouth feels nice BUT in no way does it REPLACE a pussy or the wonderful woman it comes with. So in my opinion the dick is being a D with an Ick.
Can't tell you to be confident or what's best for your relationship but I am pretty sure you where looking for a man when you met this one...… may I ask how long together?

[Bisexual765]

Hey it's us again. but this is all me, the guy talking.

Let me start with a little joke (the wife says it's not a joke, you decide) Men have half the money in a relationship, Women have the other half of the money...….but they have all the pussy!
SO they can have the other half of the money anytime they want it!

Second remember he is just life support for a dick and he can be replaced with another life support unit. Also I am bi and I can tell you that yes a mouth feels nice BUT in no way does it REPLACE a pussy or the wonderful woman it comes with. So in my opinion the dick is being a D with an Ick.
Can't tell you to be confident or what's best for your relationship but I am pretty sure you where looking for a man when you met this one...… may I ask how long together?

I must admit it hasn't started yet. Hehe

Have you ever tried bottoming for a man btw?

[new day]

My feeling is that a truly bisexual man enjoys the experiences possible with a partner of either sex. There are things you can give your bf that a man can't. You are aware of the limits you have in providing anal sex. I think you've demonstrated that you are a thoughtful lover and your man sounds lucky to have you in his life. What makes sex good is the overall experience and the connection to your partner. I wouldn't worry about not being able to provide one specific act for him. If he's smart, I think he'll value your desire to make him feel good and I hope he has an equal desire to please you.

[Long Duck Dong]

Hey it's us again. but this is all me, the guy talking.

Let me start with a little joke (the wife says it's not a joke, you decide) Men have half the money in a relationship, Women have the other half of the money...….but they have all the pussy!
SO they can have the other half of the money anytime they want it!

Second remember he is just life support for a dick and he can be replaced with another life support unit. Also I am bi and I can tell you that yes a mouth feels nice BUT in no way does it REPLACE a pussy or the wonderful woman it comes with. So in my opinion the dick is being a D with an Ick.
Can't tell you to be confident or what's best for your relationship but I am pretty sure you where looking for a man when you met this one...… may I ask how long together?

at the risk of pissing your wife off... I burst out laughing..... but its actually true for some people, I had a ex whose sex drive increased when the bank balance did.....

[Long Duck Dong]

If I've learned nothing else about this, it's that having sex with anyone is always a learning experience and a work in progress. Satisfaction is wanted, not always guaranteed and it's usually not always "performance driven" because there are too many factors that can play into not being satisfied... and I'd say one would have to not worry about that but, yeah, we do. You can give all you have to give and a partner can be like, "Is that all you got?" and we're quick to point the finger at each other than to accept that you're just not gonna be able to satisfy each other every single time you have sex and no matter what was being done. And a lot of this depends on what's going on in your head about what satisfying sex is, means, and how it's supposed to go. I've found that having expectations can be a killer and when those expectations aren't met, fuck - how disappointing is that? When you're trying to meet or exceed someone's expectations, you're almost setting yourself up to fail at times because it's not always what you do or don't do - it's their state of mind and emotions that can throw a wrench into things and have you thinking that you can't satisfy them or won't be able to.

So, again, you find out what satisfies them and keeping in mind that this isn't as consistent within them as they think it is or should be. Then you do the best you can because you can't do any more than the best you can do. Pussy versus mouth? If you think about it in terms as being replaceable, you're making a mistake; pussies can be just as good as a mouth can - just a matter of how either is being put to use. Intent. Desire. Skill and all that. Real dick versus dildo? Pros and cons about both. All about preferences. Some women actually find that they have to learn how to fuck! Working toward satisfying someone depends on how you're gonna apply yourself to that end and based upon what you know about your partner and, I think, never assuming that whatever you know isn't ever going to change. Whether I'm with a man or a woman, I never assume that I'm going to satisfy them... but I'm always gonna do my best to satisfy them because to do less than that doesn't make much sense to me. So I don't worry about it; it takes all the fun out of having sex. And by all means, never sell yourself short! Satisfaction isn't guaranteed but it's always a goal to work toward and the work in this never stops.

oh hell yes.....

having a intersex female as a partner, made me realise how many of my skills were actually gender based and how as a male, I could take a submissive role but there is no way that my cock is going to be as good as a pussy for her....so yeah often she has sex with the two ladies in our group and us guys stay out of it completely....

what makes it easier is I do not feel like I am missing out at all or that I need to be part of the action.... and I get to be the person she cuddles into afterwards and holds, and tells me that nobody can ever replace me... and that feeling for me, is better than sex and equal with lovemaking with my partner.....

[GeorgiaGuy49]

I must admit it hasn't started yet. Hehe

Have you ever tried bottoming for a man btw?

If your relationship hasn't started yet, aren't putting the cart before the horse. And how can he replace someone he's not even attached to?

Honestly, I have bottomed for a man, just now came out of the shadows. Still getting used to the light.

[GeorgiaGuy49]

at the risk of pissing your wife off... I burst out laughing..... but its actually true for some people, I had a ex whose sex drive increased when the bank balance did.....

No worries there, she says we're 50/50. I said shes got all the pussy, she answers your life support for the dick. Lol. And as long as the bills are paid and we can eat, we're golden. Anything above that is gravy.