Has anyone questioned your sexuality?

[zbi73]

Has anyone ever questioned your sexuality before?

Three times. Think one was a joke though.

[Long Duck Dong]

yes... and it did cause me to think about my sexuality and how I see myself.....

for the record, it was not done in a offensive or malicious way but a person struggling to understand their own sexuality.... so I shared about that experience here in the site and unfortunately a member with a chip on their shoulder, decided to use it to argue that because I was not having sex, I was not bisexual, and then later that because I was attracted to more than just males and females, that I was no bisexual therefore should find another site to go to......

I called myself true bisexual, and pissed people off cos that implies that people with a emotional / physical / romantic attraction to one gender and a physical attraction to the genitalia of another, are not bisexual, even tho I never said that, I said true bisexual in that my attraction to people was equal and there was no gender preference.....

recently I changed my sexuality to neuro diverse, it simply means a person with a fluid sense of attraction and desire that can be influenced by a mental / personality disorder... and yes that has pissed people off that want to argue that sexuality is fixed, not fluid, therefore it can not change, only our awareness of our true attraction, can......

to be honest, people can define themselves with the term that works for them, I am not going to argue its the wrong term for them or that as bisexuals, they have to be sexually active with both genders or that they can not be monogamous.......and that simply has to do with the fact that I ask for the same respect.... and I do have the attitude that for all the yelling and screaming of the LGBT community over acceptance and tolerance, some of them can be the most intolerant people I have ever met... and I have often noticed that its not the sexuality of people that others have the issues with, its the attitude

[Tristate275]

I finally got my wife to finger my ass while sucking my
dick. I exploded in her mouth and she loved it. We are now looking for a strap on.

[Footstep40]

Oh yeah. Many times and in many different ways.. usually it’s:
“Aren’t you gay?”-no
”Aren’t you straight?”-no

[KDaddy23]

In my more younger days, my sexuality got questioned a lot since, apparently, I don't look like the type - and the type means gay. Taught me some stuff like not responding to such questioning and especially not listening to questioners telling me the way I'm supposed to be. Most of the time, when I got questioned, it was by someone who seemed to intuitively notice that I wasn't straight so I'd sometimes get asked if I was gay and I could honestly tell them that I wasn't - and sometimes I'd ever laugh at such a preposterous thing. I found I could not get all riled up or otherwise upset about being questioned because those who would dare to usually had that "you're either straight or gay" mentality; to them, that someone could be bisexual just never crossed their mind and I saw no point in getting bent - or wind up questioning myself - over something I knew about... and they didn't.

Once I turned 30 or thereabouts, people didn't question me although I could sometime see that they wanted to ask. Rarely someone would ask if I was bi and, depending on who they were, I'd either tell them or I didn't. My sexuality is on a need to know basis and there are a lot of people who do not need to know.

[Tight1-4u]

Yes I have been questioned about my sexuality a few times.. mostly by wemen when she was playing with my ass.. it mostly went “ you like this you must like guys??” I simply reply yes yes I do... always fallowed by a bunch of questions about what I have done.. a couple of times by guys that were asking if I liked them and would I consider sex with them.. I have never had a bad reaction to being honest.. but I don’t go out of my way to flont it either!!!

[bnicks122016]

Not really. But years ago my wife told me I was going to love this. She was jerking me off then started to finger fuck my ass. I exploded pretty quick! We never really talked about it, but I’m sure she suspected. She always knew how much I liked ass play

[SilkyHoseLover]

Nope. In everyday life, I appear to be an aging husband, father and grandfather. Just another guy down the street, and almost certainly presumed to be straight, if sexuality is ever considered.

Of course, I have a very strong feminine side that only my wife knows about, aside from the members of online communities like this and those whom I've met and played with as a result of that contact. But nobody has ever asked or ventured an opinion of my preference.

Wife and I used to experiment with swinging and did have a few MFM experiences, which led to 'incidental' MM contact, and eventual MM oral experimentation. After my first prolonged adventure sucking cock and subsequent enthusiasm about how much I'd enjoyed doing it, she said, calmly, "Well, I guess you can officially consider yourself bisexual."

That's the only time anyone has brought up the subject with me.

[McBice]

Let's say twice and a maybe. The first time was my singer/songwriting partner, who is the maybe. I know she suspected and probably wanted to ask, based on some information that may or may not have implicated me in some shenanigans, which came from the ex girlfriend our extra guitar player at the time. He was telling us about a guy that the ex gf lived with being trans and having a lot pics and videos of himself on his computer. The funny looks I got from the guitar player said enough for me to say that, yeah I knew who they were talking about, he was an old friend of my ex girlfriend. Being polite, and trying to be more focused on writing a song got the subject changed quick. What I didn't volunteer to them was, yeah I did suck her gorgeous cock and I did fuck the daylights out of her, and yeah there is at least photographic proof of it, if not video proof. I think, one of these days, I'll have to ask my singer what the guitar player actually told her..hell I may even come out to her...I'll have to think about that.

The other two times my sexuality has been questioned were by my wife. Early on in our relationship, she asked if I was bi, based on the way my email address is spelled. It unintentionally has 'bi' in the middle of it. At the time she asked, we were standing in the kitchen drinking and talking with 3 other people I barely knew, so I said no and explained why my email address was spelled like it is (It's actually my first initial, middle name and my last initial). I guess they all bought that because the subject changed quick. Three years later, she asked if I was gay. Now during those three years of marriage, without me asking her to, without her asking permission, without any discussion at all, she had taken to finger fucking me whenever she was sucking my cock. I had figured that both of our intense enjoyment of that probably said enough about my sexuality, especially after we graduated to a strap on. So, for almost 2 years, whenever she got the chance, she would fuck me extremely well. One night we were (again) drinking and talking (just the 2 of us this time) and she she shyly asked if I had ever touched another guy's cock. I, assuming that she had figured me somewhat out by then, quickly said "Well, yeah". Her eyes got real big in shock and she asked, "Have you uh...uh..every like, sucked another guy?" Again I said, "Well yeah." Almost in sheer horror and panic, she asked, "Are you gay?" I said, "Say what? Am I gay? No. How many gay guys do you think would fuck you like I have for the last 3 years? And by the same token, how many straight guys would let you fuck them like you have me for the last couple of years? So?" "So you're bisexual?" "Well yeah...emphasis on the sexual part of the term." Since then (11 years and counting altogether), there have been many conversations on the subject, and we've both accepted my bisexuality as just another aspect of who I am.

[Cum1st]

Not to my face that I remember except for an FWB. We had been sucking each other off for a while, and he asked if I considered myself Bi.

I'm sure that gossip of my Bi exploits has gotten around.

[Realist]

After 2 years of military school, for the 9th and 10th grades, I went back to public school, for my junior and senior years.

I began dating a girl, (I'll call her D) who caught my eye and we began having sex on our second date.

One night, we were discussing different forms of sexual practices and the subject of bisexuals came up. Being naïve and wanting to be honest about myself, I revealed that I'd had both a heterosexual experience and some same-gender sexual involvements.(in military school)

At the time, she appeared to be interested and asked me about what I'd experienced? During that conversation, she became exceptionally aroused and we ended up having a great time.

However, it wasn't long after that, when I realized we weren't good for each other and I broke up with her. Actually, I had fallen for another girl!

Vindictive and out for revenge, the next day at school, D told everyone she knew I was a queer!

Unknown to me, D had a reputation for character assignations. And, she set me up for a fall!

When, I got to school that morning, a buddy came up to me and said, "I'm surprised to learn you're a queer!"

In an exaggerated manner, and having no idea where he got that information, I flippantly replied. "Why sure, Honey, didn't you know that?"

Everyone, who knew me, was aware that I was in with all of the Hot Rod crowd, went fishing and hunted, too. But, other that that one comment to D, I may have been the most covert bisexual person in my town. I knew any sign of deviant behavior, on my part, that I would be toast in that little town! My ultra-morally-conservative family and 99% of my friends, there, would croak, if the knew D was actually telling the truth! Truth does NOT always set one free!

Happily, no one actually believed D! Her known propensity for character assignations, like the fable about the boy who cried "WOLF!" helped save my ass!

That one indiscretion, of my telling D I was bi, could have ruined my teenaged world, back then! So, as others here have said, my policy since then, and now, has always been: if there's anyone who doesn't need to know, they should not know!

[BikerJimLV]

I think my best friend caught me getting a bj from a housemate fresh out of high school. He never said anything direct about it but hinted around it. More recently, I've been busted looking at bulges. Unfortunately, they're coworkers. So I'm sure there's whispers out there.

[Biappeal]

My wife asked me if I thought I was gay a number of times. My initial responses were "of course not", which gave way to "I think I sm bisexual" then to "yes, I am gay".

[Christopher South]

When I came out to my wife as bi when I was around 53, she told me that her best friend, who was my neighbor, had told her when she found out that we were dating that she always thought I was gay. I think it was more that I wasn't confident with women (at that time).

[RisingBi]

Fortunately, no one has ever questioned my sexuality, so far. I find it fortunate because your question made me actually stop and think, and then I got scared: what if somebody actually did ask me, "Are you gay?" Of course it would depend upon who was asking. If it was a stranger, I would probably answer, "I'm bi, why do you ask?" But if it was someone that I knew, ...well, that scares me.

You see, I've taken a vow not to lie. Saying, "I'd rather not answer that," basically is a yes or a sort of yes, so that scares me. I suppose I could answer, "No, why do you ask?", and that technically would not be a lie, but it's not really the truth, not from their perspective, because the answer in their mind is probably saying I'm straight, which is not true. I suppose I could just answer with, "Why do you ask?" But depending upon what they say next, or perhaps just in any case, it's a difficult situation and I would feel exposed and outed.

From my side, I have told my two therapists that I am bisexual, and I came out to a woman that I was dating once when it looked like we were heading towards sex very soon, and I felt that she had a right to know (she ended up accepting me, for the most part, and we were together for three years (we just broke up last December)).

Of course, this whole post of mine reveals the shame & fear that I feel, and just plain lack of courage. So your question does not make me happy, but I'm glad you asked it. I have to contemplate this further. Thank you.

[SilkyHoseLover]

You see, I've taken a vow not to lie. Saying, "I'd rather not answer that," basically is a yes or a sort of yes... <snip> I suppose I could just answer with, "Why do you ask?" But depending upon what they say next,... <snip>

I'm with you. I haven't actually taken an oath, but I prefer honesty and candor in dealing with people. Maybe you could respond in a way that discourages further comment, by making a polite, yet firm declaration, like: 'You know, that's the type of personal question I would NEVER ask of someone...'

Edit: Just read this from Tenni, who wrote in another thread a quote from a female site member he recalled:
If someone asked if she was bisexual(of a lesbian) she would reply with "Are you asking me to have sex with you?" (that would shut most of the busy bodies up. :yikes2:;0

[NJwood]

Twice. One A manipulative accusation, the other implied. My first wife made the accusations as a means to manipulate me by asking me if I was gay. Funny she, unasked started rimming me. The other was a college friend who after watching me eat said I really ate a banana erotically. At both times I wasn’t interested in men but was comfortable being with gay guys.

[borntosuckcock]

I’ve had a lot of men ask over the years. Usually I was hanging around and trolling for cock. It was more of them wanting to make sure before they made a move. I’d always say yes, if I had an interest in playing with them.

[eager4cum]

interesting question. No, no one has ever asked me this. Now that this question has been posed, it makes me wonder why I have not been asked in over 50 years of my sexual activity. .

[jem_is_bi]

No.
But, I do not go out of my way to hide it from others.
SO, some people know but don't ask.

[stonebow]

I've been asked, usually after hearing there's been speculation. But as many of you have already noted, disclosure is very much on a "need to know" basis. I've even been asked on job applications if I'm LGBTQ, along with other questions about my ethnicity and whether or not I have a disability.....perhaps I should say yes next time...might just get me the position...lol.

[bblover]

Yes, my wife did...lol

In all seriousness, she actually realized it and admitted it before i did. It took me longer to admit that im BI and I'm okay with it. No one outside of her. Im the guy NO ONE expects.

[NakedFun38]

My wife did about four years ago when she found this picture on my phone. I made up a story about being cat fished on a dating site prior to meeting her. I though a female was asking for the but but later realized it was likely a guy. While syncing vacation photos it must have downloaded to my phone. She asked if I was gay or bi and I told her no. We were only married a year and it almost ended in that moment.

[NakedFun38]

My wife did about four years ago when she found this picture on my phone. I made up a story about being cat fished on a dating site prior to meeting her. I though a female was asking for the but but later realized it was likely a guy. While syncing vacation photos it must have downloaded to my phone. She asked if I was gay or bi and I told her no. We were only married a year and it almost ended in that moment.

photo added

[marine20]

does your wife now know that you like cock ?

[NakedFun38]

does your wife now know that you like cock ?

No she does not.

[jomartin119]

in the pass yes and i lied. now i don't care what people think. i'm happy with who i am