My 1st encounter with a sub. Is this normal?

[MorThan7]

So I connected with someone out of town on Silverdaddies. They indicated they were a bottom and my profile is fairly comprehensive and detailed where I say I'm about 90% bottom. We make arrangements to meet and I normally meet in a busy parking lot the first time. He says that he isn't comfortable doing that since he would be dressed in leggings, heels, a body suit and tight shorts. Red flag #1. I told him to lose the leggings and heels but the tight shorts and body suit are probably fine. I'm not into leggings and heels even on women.

He shows up at my house and looks ok. He sits on the couch next to me like a girl in a movie. Legs together with his hands on his lap. I finally make my move and start rubbing his dick. I also started giving him sensual rubs like I do with all my partners, male and female.

All this time he just sits there, with his hands to himself. I stand him up and kiss his neck while I rub his cock, which is getting nice and hard. To me this is just normal stuff. The only difference is he isn't engaging. I finally put his hand on my dick. He pulls it out and sucks me to get me hard.

We get to the bedroom where I suck him, but he continues to just lay there.

After everything, I started to wonder is this what a sub is like? I always thought that a sub was someone that was a total bottom and liked things passive, but this seemed extreme. This guy wouldn't do anything without being told, and I mean nothing. Now that is fine, but my SD profile didn't say anything about the need to command and give orders. In fact I describe by perfect encounter as mutual two way activity and satisfaction.

My question is, is this normal for a sub, or is this an extreme case? My second question is, have you ever had an encounter that was more or less incompatible with your stated objectives and what did you do about it?

[KDaddy23]

I'm thinking that "true submissives" really embody the term and they want to be commanded. I've heard that they're not likely to initiate sex unless told to do so or, for some, "made" to comply while other subs, well, you probably don't have to do or say much to get them going since they're eager to please. One of the things I have wondered about over the years is what happens when two tops - or two bottoms - get together? Usually... nothing or not a whole lot given the way the roles are being defined these days, i.e., tops are dominants, bottoms are submissives... and everyone has their own idea of what this means and how it applies to them so I'm not that surprised that the guy you were with was "just there" and waiting to be commanded, maybe even dominated. See, there are your stated objectives... and then there's what the roles of top/bottom means and sometimes it just doesn't work as expected and, just in my opinion, that's a problem... except, it's very bad form to question one's stated role in these things since it's their preference and all that.

Just my fifteen cents worth... and I could be wrong.

[MorThan7]

...you probably don't have to do or say much to get them going since they're eager to please.

That is how I view subs as well. They may even ask permission to do something. I'm beginning to think my encounter was an anomaly, and not normal.

I'm not with you on the top - dom, bottom - sub generalization. I think the top/bottom role has more to do with sex drive and one's ability to perform. I have been with other bottoms and we have had plenty of compatibility with sex. Also, I consider myself more of a power bottom. I can make things tighter and control the speed by my own movements.

The vibe I was getting from the sub was that he was "acting" like a woman, and not "being" like a women. Most of my females are fairly active in bed. I'm thinking that the sub dude is just a little confused.

[borntosuckcock]

I consider myself to be a sub. I like to be told what to do and how they know how much I like it. I don’t really care for any reciprocation. Just want to be used and to have them squirt their cum in my mouth. Like a good dom that makes me beg to suck his cock and balls. Like to have them hold my head down on their cock as they fuck my mouth.

[altecla]

My preferred m2m sex partner is a married, middle-aged sub. I turn alpha when I have sex with a guy, because when meeting with a guy I'm all out for the most physically pleasuring oral I can get, with a hard, powerful orgasm at the end. I mellowed into this over the years, finding it fit my needs best. And I find there is no shortage of guys in that category. And ... like said above, they get their kicks by being totally controlled and being made to do something that's against all the norms they had growing up. I don't try and give them "pleasure", because their pleasure comes from the excitement of doing this for another very alpha, very in-control man. I will if I want, reach over and hold, fondle, and stroke their cock. Sometimes I even make them get into a 69 and I'll suck their cock for a bit if it is something *I* want to do at the time. But it's for my pleasure, not there's.

My favorite way to finish and cum is to put them into a position on the bed where I can control their head and fuck their mouth like it was a cheap pussy. Then I cum hard, and I have them swirl it around my cock as it sits in their mouth and I'm catching my breath. The position I fuck their mouth is usually them on their side facing me (of course), slid half way down in the bed so they face my cock as I turn on my side to face them. I put a pillow under their head to raise it up, I take FIRM hold of their head, I order them to take hold of their own cock and balls (to get their hands out of the way), I toss my top leg over them and "hook" them, pulling them to me. They now have the full sensation of being trapped and "having" to accept the mouth fuck, which is the submissiveness these guys ultimately want. I then fuck their mouth as soft, as hard, and short, or as long as I want till I nut. Again, this is all after they have suck-worshipped my cock for 20-30 minutes, so I'm pretty much filled with animal lust at this point. What I do NOT do is push into their gag reflex or be overly brutal. I want them challenged, but want them begging in a couple days to come back. I tell them to curl their tongue like a canoe for my cock to ride, and to get their lips over their teeth so I never feel them. If I slow fucking their mouth to a crawl, they are to now take their tongue and tongue-bathe my cock as I ease is sloooowly in and out. When I speed back up my thrusts, they go back to the canoe shape. And as I said, ultimately they swallow and suckle me dry. They must ALWAYS swallow. My favorite is a sub who hasn't yet swallowed, but desperately wants an alpha to take them in, take charge, and use them for sex. So I make sure they know they WILL swallow!

Lastly, after I've nutted and they've swallowed my seed, I roll them onto their back. I now turn their head to face me and push my spent cock back into their mouth, and I tell them to suckle it while I watch them jerk off. This is the only real orgasm-pleasure they get, and they must do it at the end as a submissive show for me. And if the mood hits me (especially with subs I'm having trouble getting to swallow my cum), I'll finger scoop their cum off their stomach and stick it in their mouth to suck my finger clean. It all sounds abusive if you aren't a sub or don't find them your liking. But I find it no problem getting middle aged married guys advertising as a total sub to not just agree to all this, but get to crave it so they nag me in emails to meet again and again. BTW, you can also get these subs to do other things for you, such as I like having them bring me a picture of their wife (doesn't have to be a nude) and a pair of her used panties from the hamper to sniff and fondle as they are on their knees deep-sucking on my cock. You will find them open to such things, all you have to do is give them the alpha-controlled aggressive m2m sex they fantasize about, and otherwise treat them with absolute discretion and respect. I've even had a couple of them over my life who turned out to be good friends, the type I'd do motorcycle rides with, fish with, etc. ... and of course when we got alone, they snap into the totally-submissive cock pleasure and drain my cock however I want ... they they snap back to being a buddy again and we go on with riding bikes or whatever, like nothing ever happened.

What I do NOT like, is guys who want to wear garters & stockings, or guys who have their nipples and cocks pierced. NOT into it, it turns me off. It's simply not what I want. So I simply don't meet with guys like that. Again, there's no shortage of guys who want to safely experience the total sub role. So talk it up good in email before hand and be sure what they want, then only meet with the ones that fit what you want. Me ... like I said, I find the married guys lusting to sub to be the absolute best.

[cfr50s]

Like everything else in this world there is no normal or set standard for what a sub is. My wife is a perfect example. With me she tends to be more submissive preferring me to take control at least to begin with. With another woman she tends to be aggressive and take charge and with another man she tends to be somewhere in between. Everyone has a different point of view on what "normal" is. There is no right or wrong it just depends on the person and their preferences.

[KDaddy23]

That is how I view subs as well. They may even ask permission to do something. I'm beginning to think my encounter was an anomaly, and not normal.

I'm not with you on the top - dom, bottom - sub generalization. I think the top/bottom role has more to do with sex drive and one's ability to perform. I have been with other bottoms and we have had plenty of compatibility with sex. Also, I consider myself more of a power bottom. I can make things tighter and control the speed by my own movements.

The vibe I was getting from the sub was that he was "acting" like a woman, and not "being" like a women. Most of my females are fairly active in bed. I'm thinking that the sub dude is just a little confused.

Not surprised that you don't agree - I expected that. It's not so much about sex drive and performance but state of mind, what being a "sub bottom" means to the individual as well as what being a top means - it always comes down to preferences and personal points of view, what works for them in this and what doesn't. I've been aware, for the longest time, how top and bottom have become more clearly defined and getting into who does what, how it's supposed to be, stuff like that. You have sub bottoms and power bottoms which are two different mindsets and approaches to being a bottom. Tops, like Altecia, don't surprise me in that they're quite dominant and expects or even demand submissiveness. Not so much sex drive or performance... very much about state of mind in these things and all about preferences. Was your sub dude confused... or was it really a thing that you didn't expect to have to command him and, perhaps, because you're a power bottom and one who has no problem getting the ball rolling and, yeah, being in control? Why are you like this? Because that's what works for you... and that sub dude waiting for you to command him seems to be what works for him and probably what he expected from you.

Just read what Borntosuckcock said. I've been with a lot of such guys in my life and I'll admit that it took me "a while" to figure out what was up with them and why weren't they just engaging instead of waiting on me for... something. They're not confused - they're just being the way they feel they have to be and, yeah, I wish I had known that before I learned it - would have saved me a lot of head scratching and the sex would have been a lot more fun. Ya live and learn...

[bigbi&black]

Wow, wish you were in the UK, you basically described a perfect encounter. Except for the part about gagging, I like to gag and want to feel you fucking my throat hard.

[Leo Rabbit]

My preferred m2m sex partner is a married, middle-aged sub. I turn alpha when I have sex with a guy, because when meeting with a guy I'm all out for the most physically pleasuring oral I can get, with a hard, powerful orgasm at the end. I mellowed into this over the years, finding it fit my needs best. And I find there is no shortage of guys in that category. And ... like said above, they get their kicks by being totally controlled and being made to do something that's against all the norms they had growing up. I don't try and give them "pleasure", because their pleasure comes from the excitement of doing this for another very alpha, very in-control man. I will if I want, reach over and hold, fondle, and stroke their cock. Sometimes I even make them get into a 69 and I'll suck their cock for a bit if it is something *I* want to do at the time. But it's for my pleasure, not there's.

My favorite way to finish and cum is to put them into a position on the bed where I can control their head and fuck their mouth like it was a cheap pussy. Then I cum hard, and I have them swirl it around my cock as it sits in their mouth and I'm catching my breath. The position I fuck their mouth is usually them on their side facing me (of course), slid half way down in the bed so they face my cock as I turn on my side to face them. I put a pillow under their head to raise it up, I take FIRM hold of their head, I order them to take hold of their own cock and balls (to get their hands out of the way), I toss my top leg over them and "hook" them, pulling them to me. They now have the full sensation of being trapped and "having" to accept the mouth fuck, which is the submissiveness these guys ultimately want. I then fuck their mouth as soft, as hard, and short, or as long as I want till I nut. Again, this is all after they have suck-worshipped my cock for 20-30 minutes, so I'm pretty much filled with animal lust at this point. What I do NOT do is push into their gag reflex or be overly brutal. I want them challenged, but want them begging in a couple days to come back. I tell them to curl their tongue like a canoe for my cock to ride, and to get their lips over their teeth so I never feel them. If I slow fucking their mouth to a crawl, they are to now take their tongue and tongue-bathe my cock as I ease is sloooowly in and out. When I speed back up my thrusts, they go back to the canoe shape. And as I said, ultimately they swallow and suckle me dry. They must ALWAYS swallow. My favorite is a sub who hasn't yet swallowed, but desperately wants an alpha to take them in, take charge, and use them for sex. So I make sure they know they WILL swallow!

Lastly, after I've nutted and they've swallowed my seed, I roll them onto their back. I now turn their head to face me and push my spent cock back into their mouth, and I tell them to suckle it while I watch them jerk off. This is the only real orgasm-pleasure they get, and they must do it at the end as a submissive show for me. And if the mood hits me (especially with subs I'm having trouble getting to swallow my cum), I'll finger scoop their cum off their stomach and stick it in their mouth to suck my finger clean. It all sounds abusive if you aren't a sub or don't find them your liking. But I find it no problem getting middle aged married guys advertising as a total sub to not just agree to all this, but get to crave it so they nag me in emails to meet again and again. BTW, you can also get these subs to do other things for you, such as I like having them bring me a picture of their wife (doesn't have to be a nude) and a pair of her used panties from the hamper to sniff and fondle as they are on their knees deep-sucking on my cock. You will find them open to such things, all you have to do is give them the alpha-controlled aggressive m2m sex they fantasize about, and otherwise treat them with absolute discretion and respect. I've even had a couple of them over my life who turned out to be good friends, the type I'd do motorcycle rides with, fish with, etc. ... and of course when we got alone, they snap into the totally-submissive cock pleasure and drain my cock however I want ... they they snap back to being a buddy again and we go on with riding bikes or whatever, like nothing ever happened.

What I do NOT like, is guys who want to wear garters & stockings, or guys who have their nipples and cocks pierced. NOT into it, it turns me off. It's simply not what I want. So I simply don't meet with guys like that. Again, there's no shortage of guys who want to safely experience the total sub role. So talk it up good in email before hand and be sure what they want, then only meet with the ones that fit what you want. Me ... like I said, I find the married guys lusting to sub to be the absolute best.

FUUUCK, this is what turns me on...to be on the submissive one on the receiving end of this sort of experience. It took me awhile to figure it out. Finally, one guy started dirty-talking as I knelt in front of him, calling me a good boy, commanding me to do it, held me still while he forced himself deeper...and that's when My pleasure rose!

I have also been in that bottom/submissive state of mind and while the guy was getting really excited I could sense how I could pull his head back, fingers in his hair, bite his neck a bit and then force him to His knees, while I take over as the alpha. I know I have it in me it's just the submissive experience holds the bigger erotic charge.

[Opportunist]

It depends on the submissive. You could have just said ”make me feel good or make me cum you slutty bitch” and it might have been off to the races.

[cornholejoe]

sounds like a true sub will do as you want just take him and make him yours

[Tight1-4u]

morethan7: I am sub bottom guy bottom only.. I have never topped nor wanted to.. in my minds eye the sub you found would be the extreme end of sub.. I live a very alpha mocho life outside of sex with men.. I do however love sex with men.. I love giving over basically control to them.. meaning that my persona during sex is that of the female roll.. you lead the way.. you initiate things like kissing making out.. that don’t mean that I just sit lay there like a dead fish, quite the contrary.. if we are making out I am fully engaged.. I will tell you where to kiss suck to get me sexually crazy.. tell you that my breast are very sensitive and drive me wild.. tell you that licking sucking my inner thighs is going to make me lust after you and need your cock in my pussy.. if you finger me and eat out my pussy that you most definitely are going to get the fucking of a life time.. I do love being with men that are semi aggressive.. take charge take control take what you want ( my pussy )!! I love being manhandled moved around, kinda pushed into all the positions you want to fuck me in.. again that dose not mean I am going to lay there like a dead fish., oh hell no I am engaged helping you fuck me deep and for a long time.. I love to be in a position where you can pin me down and show a wee bit of control and use me like the nympho slut that I am..
the end result is that you took charge and initiated the things you wanted to happen.. you were the masculine male and bread me and planted your seed deep inside of me.. I was the recipient of your masculinity.. you completed your primal desire and need to spread your seed., and I get to take your most precious gift and keep it for ever your dna!! It will become part of me forever..
Yes I am sub!! Yes I like sex with men!!
I love having cock in my pussy.. feeling you pump your load deep inside of me.,
I am bottom!!

[csreef]

You need to be Alpha, and tell him , NO, ORDER HIM to do what YOU WANT​. Do you understand now?!? Submissive were put on this planet to please and service their Masters!

[Waylon]

When I play the role of submissive cocksucker I can initiate the action and play the "let me please you daddy with my mouth". is this how you like it master?" Am I your dirty cock whore sir? Can I please suck your dick? Please give me your cum......... But I also enjoy it if he is an oral dominant calling me names, commannding me to perform in a certain way, being specific with what he wants me to do with my mouth and tongue. I enjoy the game either way.

[Flypaper]

My only contribution is to take issue with “submissive” and “feminine” being linked. I’ve been with plenty of women who wanted me to take the lead (and explained that it made them feel desired) but then sometimes the same woman would surprise me by basically jumping my bones until she was orgasm sitting on my face before we had even addressed the cock in the room .

Oh and also: given how he planned to dress up before the meeting, he definitely wanted you to take charge. In spite of my above issue taking, he wanted to play the cinematic effeminate sub role and take your instruction.

Add my five cents to KDs fifteen…

[centillini]

I have only done one sissy sub but many female sub. I have them the first time prove they are worthy by kissing and then performing as I say.

[catcc67]

My preferred m2m sex partner is a married, middle-aged sub. I turn alpha when I have sex with a guy, because when meeting with a guy I'm all out for the most physically pleasuring oral I can get, with a hard, powerful orgasm at the end. I mellowed into this over the years, finding it fit my needs best. And I find there is no shortage of guys in that category. And ... like said above, they get their kicks by being totally controlled and being made to do something that's against all the norms they had growing up. I don't try and give them "pleasure", because their pleasure comes from the excitement of doing this for another very alpha, very in-control man. I will if I want, reach over and hold, fondle, and stroke their cock. Sometimes I even make them get into a 69 and I'll suck their cock for a bit if it is something *I* want to do at the time. But it's for my pleasure, not there's.

My favorite way to finish and cum is to put them into a position on the bed where I can control their head and fuck their mouth like it was a cheap pussy. Then I cum hard, and I have them swirl it around my cock as it sits in their mouth and I'm catching my breath. The position I fuck their mouth is usually them on their side facing me (of course), slid half way down in the bed so they face my cock as I turn on my side to face them. I put a pillow under their head to raise it up, I take FIRM hold of their head, I order them to take hold of their own cock and balls (to get their hands out of the way), I toss my top leg over them and "hook" them, pulling them to me. They now have the full sensation of being trapped and "having" to accept the mouth fuck, which is the submissiveness these guys ultimately want. I then fuck their mouth as soft, as hard, and short, or as long as I want till I nut. Again, this is all after they have suck-worshipped my cock for 20-30 minutes, so I'm pretty much filled with animal lust at this point. What I do NOT do is push into their gag reflex or be overly brutal. I want them challenged, but want them begging in a couple days to come back. I tell them to curl their tongue like a canoe for my cock to ride, and to get their lips over their teeth so I never feel them. If I slow fucking their mouth to a crawl, they are to now take their tongue and tongue-bathe my cock as I ease is sloooowly in and out. When I speed back up my thrusts, they go back to the canoe shape. And as I said, ultimately they swallow and suckle me dry. They must ALWAYS swallow. My favorite is a sub who hasn't yet swallowed, but desperately wants an alpha to take them in, take charge, and use them for sex. So I make sure they know they WILL swallow!

Lastly, after I've nutted and they've swallowed my seed, I roll them onto their back. I now turn their head to face me and push my spent cock back into their mouth, and I tell them to suckle it while I watch them jerk off. This is the only real orgasm-pleasure they get, and they must do it at the end as a submissive show for me. And if the mood hits me (especially with subs I'm having trouble getting to swallow my cum), I'll finger scoop their cum off their stomach and stick it in their mouth to suck my finger clean. It all sounds abusive if you aren't a sub or don't find them your liking. But I find it no problem getting middle aged married guys advertising as a total sub to not just agree to all this, but get to crave it so they nag me in emails to meet again and again. BTW, you can also get these subs to do other things for you, such as I like having them bring me a picture of their wife (doesn't have to be a nude) and a pair of her used panties from the hamper to sniff and fondle as they are on their knees deep-sucking on my cock. You will find them open to such things, all you have to do is give them the alpha-controlled aggressive m2m sex they fantasize about, and otherwise treat them with absolute discretion and respect. I've even had a couple of them over my life who turned out to be good friends, the type I'd do motorcycle rides with, fish with, etc. ... and of course when we got alone, they snap into the totally-submissive cock pleasure and drain my cock however I want ... they they snap back to being a buddy again and we go on with riding bikes or whatever, like nothing ever happened.

What I do NOT like, is guys who want to wear garters & stockings, or guys who have their nipples and cocks pierced. NOT into it, it turns me off. It's simply not what I want. So I simply don't meet with guys like that. Again, there's no shortage of guys who want to safely experience the total sub role. So talk it up good in email before hand and be sure what they want, then only meet with the ones that fit what you want. Me ... like I said, I find the married guys lusting to sub to be the absolute best.

OMG, i so want to be your sub. This sounds absolutely amazing. Great write up