Hi

[childofwinter]

I\'m a 20 year old man from Lancashire, England. I\'ve considered myself to be at the very least bi-curious since the age of 17/18. I have a few questions that I hope members of the forum won\'t mind me asking -

Is it normal to occasionally wear women\'s clothing when masturbating? By this i mean a bra filled with cloth or a skirt. I do this very rarely and only ever when I\'m alone in the house.

Do you have to have sex of any kind before truly knowing your orientation?

Do most bisexuals prefer one sex rather than the other? For example, preferring women rather than men, but still attracted to women.

Someone once said to me that if you are curious about being bi, then you usually are. Is that true?

Do you feel that bisexuals need to come out like homosexuals do?

[Sparkles]

Do you have to have sex of any kind before truly knowing your orientation?

Do most bisexuals prefer one sex rather than the other? For example, preferring women rather than men, but still attracted to women.

Do you feel that bisexuals need to come out like homosexuals do?

Hi, childofwinter!

Well, first off, I think that it's just fine if you wear women's clothing to stimulate yourself. "Whatever trips your trigger," is what I always say. (So, long as you're not harming yourself :) )

I didn't have to have sex with anyone to know that I was oriented bisexually.

Yes, in some cases, the fantasy is a lot different than the reality, but that's true of anything. So, just be open about expectations and communicate with anyone you're involved with.

I prefer men to women, but that's on the total scale - I don't want a woman as a life-partner, I want a man. Sexually, I have desires for both men and women. I find that when I am in a relationship that my partner (who is my bf, Steve :love: ) is the most important person to me... so, sexually and in all other ways, he comes first.

I don't think you have to 'come out' to anyone except your significant other or anyone you're involved with sexually. I think honesty is a must for any sexual union... it's a respect and safety thing for me. Other than that, it's a comfort thing. Hope that helps, it's just my :2cents:

Sparkles :female:

[mistymockingbird]

Child-
I'm with sparkles, do what you gotta do to get off. So long as you're not forcing anyone into anything against their will, who cares?

I personally believe that you do not have to have sex of any kind before knowing your orientation. My personal take on things is that you know before your very first kiss what you are attracted to, the fact that you haven't done anything yet doesn't make you asexual. There are many who will say that you can't say for sure you are bi untill you've had a same sex experience and enjoyed it. I personally believe that you can identify as bi without ever having a same sex experience. The attraction and the fantasy can be enough. Perhaps you came to terms with your bisexuality after you had entered a monogamous relationship with someone and you want to maintain monogamy. You can still explore your bisexuality through fantasy and yet never have that face to face, same gender experience.

Bisexuality, like many other things, is a label. There are as many definitions for it as there are people that use it. Do what works for you. Identify with what feels comfortable for you.

As to preference, again, everyone is an individual. Some folks are attracted to both genders equally, some prefer one to the other. A common theme I've noticed is a preference for an emotional connection with one gender, but a purely physical connection with the other gender. The degree to which you are attracted to each gender doesn't make you more or less bi than someone else. It just makes you who you are.

Coming out. That's a whole topic on its own. Some people feel a need, some don't. There is a lot of confusion in both the het and the homo communities about bisexuality. Whether or not to come out ultimately comes down to how you want to live your life. Do you want to feel free to express all the parts of yourself, or keep some things private. There's no wrong choice.

This is all rather ambiguous I know, but life has a way of doing that. There are no black and white answers. :2cents: