TWO POSITIONS - NEED SOME ANSWERS.

[dowmass]

So here is my situation: I am male, married - and had sex with my wife until I had ED issues. Now that I am getting better, there is still a strong urge for me to have sex with her.

That said, I am bisexual, and with a man, I have been (twice) a total bottom only. I do not have the slightest inclination to top a guy. On the contrary, with a guy, I want to bottom only - to get fucked. With a man, I feel the deep urge to be unselfish, please him, be "womanly".

Does anyone else have these feelings/urges? Is there a contradiction where I want to F*ck the wife, but want to get F*cked by a guy?

[peiguy]

Not a contradiction at all. I have ED, which is nicely fixed for 24 + hours by Cialis. If I need to be hard, I take it, if I want to be soft, I don't.

When with a guy, I prefer to bottom and thus I prefer to be soft. If I met a nice bottom though, I'd be happy to top him and thus take my cialis.

[dowmass]

Not a contradiction at all. I have ED, which is nicely fixed for 24 + hours by Cialis. If I need to be hard, I take it, if I want to be soft, I don't.

When with a guy, I prefer to bottom and thus I prefer to be soft. If I met a nice bottom though, I'd be happy to top him and thus take my cialis.

Thanks for your reply. You wrote "I prefer to bottom and thus I prefer to be soft"..... I absolutely understand. The last time I bottomed for a virile, hung guy, I was soft, but I enjoyed my mind blowing prostrate orgasms.
If I was a top, I'd focus on my bottom's weight, height, chemistry between us - and of course if he has a tight, juicy man-pussy.


It's a different scenario in Dallas TX where I live. Most tops prefer a bottom with a hard dick. A soft dick is a put off, and I don't know why.
The moment I say that I may be soft between the legs, people just disappear!!

[peiguy]

With me, I have no interest in topping a guy who is hard. But, if I'm with a guy who is soft it appeals to my inner top.

[CuriousSub]

So here is my situation: I am male, married - and had sex with my wife until I had ED issues. Now that I am getting better, there is still a strong urge for me to have sex with her.

That said, I am bisexual, and with a man, I have been (twice) a total bottom only. I do not have the slightest inclination to top a guy. On the contrary, with a guy, I want to bottom only - to get fucked. With a man, I feel the deep urge to be unselfish, please him, be "womanly".

Does anyone else have these feelings/urges? Is there a contradiction where I want to F*ck the wife, but want to get F*cked by a guy?

not alone! I want the exact same thing. Except I?d top a hot Cd/trans in a heartbeat. Masc guys though? I?d be a total bottom

[Jazminedress]

So here is my situation: I am male, married - and had sex with my wife until I had ED issues. Now that I am getting better, there is still a strong urge for me to have sex with her.

That said, I am bisexual, and with a man, I have been (twice) a total bottom only. I do not have the slightest inclination to top a guy. On the contrary, with a guy, I want to bottom only - to get fucked. With a man, I feel the deep urge to be unselfish, please him, be "womanly".

Does anyone else have these feelings/urges? Is there a contradiction where I want to F*ck the wife, but want to get F*cked by a guy?

not that I can see, with a man, I bottom, a woman I top basically..............not sure how it is gonna work out in a threesome though

[dowmass]

not that I can see, with a man, I bottom, a woman I top basically..............not sure how it is gonna work out in a threesome though

In a threesome, roles can be reversed from a bottom to a top and vice versa. My fantasy scenes in a threesome are like this:

a) In a MMM 3 sum i would have a cock in my man-pussy while i suck another.
b) in a MWM 3 sum, I would eat pussy while the top is busy pounding me.

Sadly these are only fantasies. There was one time it could have been a reality - I met this really nice couple who wanted to meet me. They backed out when I told them that I was married. They insisted that they only sleep with guys that have told their wives.

I saw no issue because my better half was out of town, and this was to happen at their place. i did not care to explain - just "took it easy" and forgot that it even happened.

[KDaddy23]

"Is there a contradiction where I want to F*ck the wife, but want to get F*cked by a guy?"

No contradiction that I'm aware of. I've never found it unusual for guys to fuck the wife/girlfriend silly but with men, they want to be the one getting fucked silly. One such guy said, "Why should she be the only one getting fucked? Besides, I kinda get tired of always being in charge of the sex so when I'm with a man, the other guy gets to be in charge!" I found his explanation sensible and had run into other bottoms who'd said the same thing which, of course, also included that they just loved being fucked. Throughout my experiences, I've met a lot of men who, when with a guy, want to be the girl from being a cock sucker to being the only one to get screwed and creamed; one of my friends who was like this said that being fucked makes him feel more like the man he wanted to be.

No arguing that.

[Fiddlestyx]

When I'm with a woman I like to shape the flow of things - part of the pleasure of it for me. When I'm with a guy I prefer to take turns. I get satisfaction from bottoming, but only in the context of also being top.

[rukiddingme]

If bottom, still want to be hard. Anal orgasm is my favorite

[Neonaught]

Most of the men I have enjoyed started out hard before I got inside them then went soft. I had the same experience the few times I bottomed. It's common and probably has something to do with the pelvic nerves. Look on the bright side: you don't need to be hard to get fucked!

[dowmass]

You don't need to be hard to get fucked!

I wish this was true in the Dallas TX area.

Tops here seem to have a fixation with bottoms having a hard dick. I have had tops disappear when I said that I may not have a hard dick.☹️

[KDaddy23]

I wish this was true in the Dallas TX area.

Tops here seem to have a fixation with bottoms having a hard dick. I have had tops disappear when I said that I may not have a hard dick.☹️

Well, suggest that they give you a reach-around! I think some guys take it as a given that if they're fucking you, you're gonna be rock hard... and just like you can see in porn. The reality says that not all guys can have a dick in their ass and be hard... and I'm not even sure why that would matter all that much.

[Neonaught]

I am curious why you feel the need to tell them this up front? When I am fucking a guy I could care less if he stays hard as his cock is not being employed at that point and as I have mentioned, few men stay hard once penetrated. Try not bringing that up and I doubt anyone will raise an eyebrow if you are soft once they are inside you. Just don't be a dead fuck: stay fully engaged touching him and being responsive to what he's doing and I think you'll both walk away happy.


I wish this was true in the Dallas TX area.

Tops here seem to have a fixation with bottoms having a hard dick. I have had tops disappear when I said that I may not have a hard dick.☹️

[stevelover]

It seems like most of the gay porn I've looked at, the bottom stays rock hard, and I only look at amateur porn.

Curious...

[dowmass]

I am curious why you feel the need to tell them this up front? When I am fucking a guy I could care less if he stays hard as his cock is not being employed at that point and as I have mentioned, few men stay hard once penetrated. Try not bringing that up and I doubt anyone will raise an eyebrow if you are soft once they are inside you. Just don't be a dead fuck: stay fully engaged touching him and being responsive to what he's doing and I think you'll both walk away happy.

Thank you so much for that reply. I thought I was being honest, and transparent, when I'd mention that I could have a soft dick. I now realize that it shouldn't matter to my top, once we are in the flow. I might have missed several good opportunities to get fucked by saying so upfront.
I will stay engaged, touching, maybe sucking a dick and if my top is open to be kissed, do that as well.
Great advice - thanks.

[Neonaught]

Thank you so much for that reply. I thought I was being honest, and transparent, when I'd mention that I could have a soft dick. I now realize that it shouldn't matter to my top, once we are in the flow. I might have missed several good opportunities to get fucked by saying so upfront.
I will stay engaged, touching, maybe sucking a dick and if my top is open to be kissed, do that as well.
Great advice - thanks.

I think you are on the right track. Perhaps warning about this in advance is making men think you may not get hard at all. It's so common I'm surprised anyone balked to begin with.

[CuriousSub]

So here is my situation: I am male, married - and had sex with my wife until I had ED issues. Now that I am getting better, there is still a strong urge for me to have sex with her.

That said, I am bisexual, and with a man, I have been (twice) a total bottom only. I do not have the slightest inclination to top a guy. On the contrary, with a guy, I want to bottom only - to get fucked. With a man, I feel the deep urge to be unselfish, please him, be "womanly".

Does anyone else have these feelings/urges? Is there a contradiction where I want to F*ck the wife, but want to get F*cked by a guy?

Absolutely! I feel exactly like you. I?m curious about guys, but not in a top way unless the guy is very slight and girly. Beefy, older guys get me hot but I?d have to be a complete sub bottom