Surprise from ultra-conservative homophobic wife when I came out to her

[Grant_Norman]

So things always get weird, they also always surprise me. I came out to my ultra-conservative homophobic wife and of course received a hugely, nasty reaction. I went ahead and filed for divorce because I did not feel my bisexuality would be fair to her. So for months she completely shut off to me, she has rallied her family against me, it's been a pretty ugly situation with a lot of name calling from her, bashing, and so on.

I have tried to be just 100% hone4st with her about it all the time, but it is difficult. I have a bad hip that I need surgery for and of course she says its from getting fucked in the ass, and things like that. (Of course I have participated in some receiving but my main joy of bisex is giving blow jobs and swallowing cum, which I have told her multiple times).

So the other day I was at a long term bi friend's house who had stroke, and she was on phone, and made some comment about me giving Jim a blow job. Speaker phone. Which really didn't bother either of us. I was really just visiting him and really didn't know if he'd be up for a blow job so I told her no blow job on the phone. Of course he did lift himself then and did pull out his cock and I sucked it nice and swallowed his load. I had already told her I'd been friends with Jim for over 5 years and have probably swallowed hundreds of his loads.

Then the next few days I met another Grindr guy and gave him a blow job. She said I was in another town, (which I wasn't) but I told her the truth that I was at this spot doing a blow job. Being out to her has made it much better for the no more deceit factor. I think she's finally coming around to the fact that I just being who I am and it will not change.

Then the surprise yesterday. I went out early before she was up to do a hookup out of town. If I just left before she was awake, I wouldn't have to explain where I was going. I got there and the guys were stone cold sleeping so I waited about an hour and nothing happened. I knew they were there because the Grindr app said they were only a few feet from me, but I just finally left with no hookup. I went to McDonald's and got some breakfast. Finally headed home. She asked where I'd been and I told her McDonald's and waiting on a no-show hook-up.

Here was the surprise, she became incensed that they didn't show. She thought it was very rude and went on about it. I tried to explain to her that new meets can frequently be a no-show, it's just guy sex. It really doesn't bother me, guys get real horny, want the blow job, but then just jack off and lose interest. I tried to explain to my wife this is a common guy thing and there are several no-shows because of it. If I was going for a blow job, but made myself cum first, I'd probably loose interest.

Anyhow, it was quite surprise to see how my outed self to her has become an honest concern for her. I have another new guy at 5:30 today, which I told her about,. so it better happen.

I've told her she could watch me do a blow job any time, so might try to have this guy do some video of me. Even though she really is against my bisexual behavior, I would li9ke her to see me enjoying sucking and swallowing. Maybe help her in another level of understanding our lifestyle.

[Long Duck Dong]

Partners can be interesting, specially when they disagree with things we do, but still concerned and protective of us as partners, when it comes to other people.......

kudos to you for being open and honest with her, as I have a feeling that goes a long way in her eyes, even if she does not agree, support or approve of what you are doing...and even after you filed for divorce.......and the way you tell her about what you are doing, does not come across as an attempt to wind her up or upset her, but simply telling her the truth.......

There have been times that I have seen couples hit the wall in their relationship or marriage, over things like bisexuality, and then a partner says screw it, time to be honest and open with the other person, and yeah its changed the perception of the other person about what their partner is actually like as a bisexual.......the remark about being fucked in the ass, tends to show to me, that she had the wrong idea about you....

Some of their relationships and marriages were beyond saving, simply because one partner had the idea that the other person was cheating on them ( true ) and realised that there could have been honesty and openness on both sides, if they had just shut up and listened to their partner, instead of deciding how their partner acted and thought........tho its a two way street......

[Jozyxt]

Despite the reaction, I am sure it is better for you to be out. Congratulations on that. Who knows, maybe she will mellow and accept you since you are still the person she married.

Now that she outed you to her family, I wonder if any of the men on that side will be looking for some head. Or some cum. LOL You never know.

[csreef]

Maybe your wife is secretly living vicariously thru you?

[KDaddy23]

I've heard of other wives losing their shit being told the truth, things getting seriously ugly but have a "change of heart" once they realize that, okay, he's been doing stuff with men but he's never failed to do what he's supposed to do or she realizes that she can get as mad as she wants to and it changes nothing or, sometimes, they know if they pitch a bitch about it, they could be on the receiving end of divorce papers and it wouldn't be in their best interest to get divorced... and, yeah, even getting salty if a connection gets reneged on or didn't turn out as wonderful as hubby expected. Women can be very weird but we already knew that.

[Grant_Norman]

Partners can be interesting, specially when they disagree with things we do, but still concerned and protective of us as partners, when it comes to other people.......

kudos to you for being open and honest with her, as I have a feeling that goes a long way in her eyes, even if she does not agree, support or approve of what you are doing...and even after you filed for divorce.......and the way you tell her about what you are doing, does not come across as an attempt to wind her up or upset her, but simply telling her the truth.......

There have been times that I have seen couples hit the wall in their relationship or marriage, over things like bisexuality, and then a partner says screw it, time to be honest and open with the other person, and yeah its changed the perception of the other person about what their partner is actually like as a bisexual.......the remark about being fucked in the ass, tends to show to me, that she had the wrong idea about you....

Some of their relationships and marriages were beyond saving, simply because one partner had the idea that the other person was cheating on them ( true ) and realised that there could have been honesty and openness on both sides, if they had just shut up and listened to their partner, instead of deciding how their partner acted and thought........tho its a two way street......

Thanks for your observations. Yes, it has been hard to be honest with her, but I just have continued. I had a hook yesterdyua morning and I told her a bit about it when she asked. It was kind of a a so-so blow job to an older guy, that could never get in aq could rhythm with my sucking. Have never given a bad blow job, they've all been decent, but this one never really hit the sweet spot and although he did cum in my mouth, again it was somewhat not so great. Okay, cum is cum, I swallowed it down and was grateful.

Trying to explain these nuances to a non-bi person was very difficult. And she really couldn't understand how I still loved the cock in the mouth and the eventual load I enjoyed. But she still got have truth and have a little better understanding of what it is like to have a not so great bisexual hookup.

[KDaddy23]

Grant, the thing that has always amazed me is how a woman who has given blow jobs in her life never seem to understand why a guy would want to give them other than that society-imposed mental block that insists that men shouldn't do this and that "spreads out" to "can't" do this, then circles back to what she doesn't believe in. I've had women lose their shit over knowing that I suck dick and they've asked why and I've explained that I was doing this before I knew they even existed and when I was young but I've also asked, "Why do you do it?" and with the hopes that they'd make the connection... and, yeah, sometimes it's gone right over their head or, if it didn't, now it's, "Yeah, but..." time and them trying to make me believe that them doing it - and me doing the same thing - is different.

Now, it is hard to describe the nuances to someone who has never sucked cock. I've given blow jobs like the one you mentioned and, okay, it didn't "hit the spot" but I got to suck the dick and get the cum so it's not a total loss but trying to explain this to someone who, again, has never given head at all is... interesting, to be nice about it. They just don't have a point of reference to work from and they realize that just knowing someone who does... doesn't help them understand it. Now, some I've tried to explain this to and with them having no point of reference has gotten it... because it's not rocket science. I used to ask those people to do a simple thing: Put your thumb in your mouth and suck on it for a couple of minutes even if it sounds silly but bear with me. After a couple of minutes, I've asked them, "How did that feel to you?" and many have grudgingly admitted that it felt good and many more remember growing up sucking their thumb... because it made them feel good and comforted.

"That's what it's like to be a guy who sucks dick - just with a helping of cum on the side," I said - and they get it. Alas, some people don't get it because they don't want to get it...

[csreef]

I bet that secretly she wishes she could see you get a BJ from another guy. :2cents: Ask her about this sometime, I'd love to know what her reaction would be, and what she would say.

[Grant_Norman]

Grant, the thing that has always amazed me is how a woman who has given blow jobs in her life never seem to understand why a guy would want to give them other than that society-imposed mental block that insists that men shouldn't do this and that "spreads out" to "can't" do this, then circles back to what she doesn't believe in. I've had women lose their shit over knowing that I suck dick and they've asked why and I've explained that I was doing this before I knew they even existed and when I was young but I've also asked, "Why do you do it?" and with the hopes that they'd make the connection... and, yeah, sometimes it's gone right over their head or, if it didn't, now it's, "Yeah, but..." time and them trying to make me believe that them doing it - and me doing the same thing - is different.

Now, it is hard to describe the nuances to someone who has never sucked cock. I've given blow jobs like the one you mentioned and, okay, it didn't "hit the spot" but I got to suck the dick and get the cum so it's not a total loss but trying to explain this to someone who, again, has never given head at all is... interesting, to be nice about it. They just don't have a point of reference to work from and they realize that just knowing someone who does... doesn't help them understand it. Now, some I've tried to explain this to and with them having no point of reference has gotten it... because it's not rocket science. I used to ask those people to do a simple thing: Put your thumb in your mouth and suck on it for a couple of minutes even if it sounds silly but bear with me. After a couple of minutes, I've asked them, "How did that feel to you?" and many have grudgingly admitted that it felt good and many more remember growing up sucking their thumb... because it made them feel good and comforted.

"That's what it's like to be a guy who sucks dick - just with a helping of cum on the side," I said - and they get it. Alas, some people don't get it because they don't want to get it...

Thanks, Kdaddy. Never thought of thumb sucking reference but it makes sense. I know what you mean...sometimes just the cock in the mouth and all the sucking is what feels so good. While love the taste and feel of cum the cock itself is enough in many cases. I sucked a distracted guy yesterday and his cock felt so good, but a lot of it was because I had him video me while I was sucking. Love the video, looks so good the cock sliding in and out of nmy mouth.

I shared it with my girlfriend, who has no issue with my love of cock. She is my Ecuadorian sex worker, an d although she's done a lot of guys, she is a mother first and it is really only one of the ways she can support her family. I respect her for her work, and consistently tell her I support and love her.

Talk sex a lot of the time..me intimating...and she has agreed with me that sex can just be so-so, sometimes pretty good, sometimes very good, and sometimes really hot. There's not much difference between her sex work and my bisexuality. I told her I always want it to be good for her, and hope she finds regulars to fuck she likes. It really should never always be about just the money. We all should enjoy the work. And although I don't ever charge, I am a real cock whore and when it is very good it IS very good.

[Grant_Norman]

"Maybe your wife is secretly living vicariously thru you?

Yeah, she may be....thinking of showing her my cock sucking video I just made so she can see first hand how I am enjoying it. Although she will macted disgusted, the image of the nice cock sliding in and out of my mouth will at least be real to her. I really don't care who see's it, since completely openly bi now, anyone who likes to watch blow jobs is welcome. It is so very nice to watch./

[DD788Snipe]

Sounds like life is going well for you Grant. Good to hear. You deserve it.

[Cum1st]

So things always get weird, they also always surprise me. I came out to my ultra-conservative homophobic wife and of course received a hugely, nasty reaction. I went ahead and filed for divorce because I did not feel my bisexuality would be fair to her. So for months she completely shut off to me, she has rallied her family against me, it's been a pretty ugly situation with a lot of name calling from her, bashing, and so on.

I have tried to be just 100% hone4st with her about it all the time, but it is difficult. I have a bad hip that I need surgery for and of course she says its from getting fucked in the ass, and things like that. (Of course I have participated in some receiving but my main joy of bisex is giving blow jobs and swallowing cum, which I have told her multiple times).

So the other day I was at a long term bi friend's house who had stroke, and she was on phone, and made some comment about me giving Jim a blow job. Speaker phone. Which really didn't bother either of us. I was really just visiting him and really didn't know if he'd be up for a blow job so I told her no blow job on the phone. Of course he did lift himself then and did pull out his cock and I sucked it nice and swallowed his load. I had already told her I'd been friends with Jim for over 5 years and have probably swallowed hundreds of his loads.

Then the next few days I met another Grindr guy and gave him a blow job. She said I was in another town, (which I wasn't) but I told her the truth that I was at this spot doing a blow job. Being out to her has made it much better for the no more deceit factor. I think she's finally coming around to the fact that I just being who I am and it will not change.

Then the surprise yesterday. I went out early before she was up to do a hookup out of town. If I just left before she was awake, I wouldn't have to explain where I was going. I got there and the guys were stone cold sleeping so I waited about an hour and nothing happened. I knew they were there because the Grindr app said they were only a few feet from me, but I just finally left with no hookup. I went to McDonald's and got some breakfast. Finally headed home. She asked where I'd been and I told her McDonald's and waiting on a no-show hook-up.

Here was the surprise, she became incensed that they didn't show. She thought it was very rude and went on about it. I tried to explain to her that new meets can frequently be a no-show, it's just guy sex. It really doesn't bother me, guys get real horny, want the blow job, but then just jack off and lose interest. I tried to explain to my wife this is a common guy thing and there are several no-shows because of it. If I was going for a blow job, but made myself cum first, I'd probably loose interest.

Anyhow, it was quite surprise to see how my outed self to her has become an honest concern for her. I have another new guy at 5:30 today, which I told her about,. so it better happen.

I've told her she could watch me do a blow job any time, so might try to have this guy do some video of me. Even though she really is against my bisexual behavior, I would li9ke her to see me enjoying sucking and swallowing. Maybe help her in another level of understanding our lifestyle.


Hi Grant

From you're post it's clear she has a problem with Mano A Mano 'queer' sex. How does she feel about giving a BJ or for that matter cunnilingus?