Sexually Frustrated Married Men

[Tight1-4u]

I have stated here before that my niche is servicing sexually Frustrated married men.. also have explained some of the advantages and disadvantages.. it kinda surprises me that more have not fallowed in my footsteps.. sexually Frustrated married men are great guys.. they are in sexless marriages or their wives do not and will not do the things that they want or need., sure they are married and that presents a bunch of scheduling issues.. but if you happen to have a open schedule and work with them it will usually work out well., they usually don?t have a lot of time so are willing and ready to get down to it pretty quickly.. they pretty much know what they want and how they want it.. they are clean and want the same.. they need to keep it that way.. now as I have stated before I am very sub bottom.. I derive pleasure from giving pleasure.. married men are use to trying to please the wife.. so you will find that they just naturally do the same when with you..
they will do their best to do you.. most are looking for oral and or anal!! I give them a mix of both.. and they do appreciate a willing partner.. they enjoy someone looking forward to seeing them.. someone that is excited to see and be naked with them.. someone that enjoys sucking thief cock and wants them to fuck them.. they will come to you stressed and frustrated and full of cum., you treat them right they will leave you with a grin on their face a bounce in their step and drained dry of any and all cum they can muster.. and they will already be thinking of you and the next time they cum to you,,
I relate all this because I wish more would take up the cause and help these guys out.. almost all of them love their wives and don?t want to change that.. they just need someone that enjoys sex and wants to do it with them.. now I am not saying this to brag but I hear all the time on here and other places that people can?t find anyone to play with.. like I said I am not bragging here when I say that I see at least one of my guys almost every day and most days more than one., on average I get used around 9 times a week.. I do very little to no advertising as my guys are all the time recommending me to others that they know and meet..
now you can look at this the same way I do as being a marriage counseling.. I would say that 95% of all the guys I see will patch things up with their wives after a couple months of seeing me.. they become calmer and less stressful,, happier.. their wives notice the change in them and things just seem to work out for them.. and yes it makes me happy to see them happy..
so bottom line here is you guys that are bottoms and really enjoy sex getting used.. think about giving the sexually frustrated married guys around you a chance.. they are everywhere.. don?t be surprised if you do this that they come out of the woodwork..you will find or they will find you everywhere.,

[Tag200]

I agree with this assessment .. I am one of those married frustrated guys but have very very little man experience but have had girlfriends over the years.. want to switch over to a guy like yourself as it easier with no drama

[KDaddy23]

Years ago, I used to be part of a circle of married men and we "took care of each other" a lot. Some were made celibate, some just wanted to experience a different way to have sex; some finally decided to end their decades-long curiosity and take the plunge. I would say and think that more sex takes place between and with married men than single guys. No real numbers on this but married men have always been seen as dependable, stable, consistent and, yeah, horny. We'd have some members of the circle join, get a good taste of what it's like to get some dick and... back to their wives to resolve whatever issues brought them to us; sometimes, we'd come into contact with them again, sometimes not.

There are so many sexually frustrated men out there; maybe they're looking for sex with guys - because no one understands a man's frustrations in this than another man - but if there's a problem, it's them feeling safe and comfortable enough to put themselves out there so that some guy can make them less frustrated. That circle I was in was comprised of the married guys in the neighborhood and while it wasn't planned, one guy took care of another guy, then someone else found out about this and joined, and they told a guy... who told a guy. It took, oh, maybe a year before we realized that not only did we know each other, we'd all had sex with each other and it just worked. Some new guy moves into the neighborhood, proves to be sexually frustrated and, I dunno, hears about these other guys who've been going around sucking and fucking each other and... he wants to know who to talk with to get a piece of this action.

And, um, sometimes, that guy was me. One married guy referring another married guy to me for advice, sex, or both. Still, if no one knows about this kind of availability, there won't be a rush to jump on a bandwagon that has, over all this time, proven to be very helpful to men who are sexually frustrated and no matter why they are. Now, when I was a teen, I... helped a lot of married men. I would think that they were all long-time bisexuals since they knew exactly what we could do and, yeah, some were very much into the old guy/young guy thing that's been around since forever. It wasn't that they didn't love their wives... but. I never made it a point to seek these men out but they'd manage to find me and usually by pure chance. The usual way, however, was me being out there, cutting grass and doing handyman stuff for a guy and payment wasn't just in money; they'd tell a friend about my... services and, at one point, there were six married men in one neighborhood that I worked for and would have sex with. And that was around 1969, to give you a hint of how no-so-unusual it is to find sexually frustrated married men.

[evadkin]

That just about sums it up and I agree with everything you said. Well said Sir.

[Jozyxt]

I am married and have a hard time finding the right cocksucker. I really need a reliable cocksucker for the times my FWB is unavailable. Between schedules, proximity, needing them to host, being reliable and not being creepy, it is difficult for to find a man to suck me.

[Tag200]

Always like to hear kdaddys take I things

[Rest85]

KDaddy23.. I really like what you wrote and I wish I had the experience of providing pleasures to more than a couple of married men when I was younger, however I didn't really come to terms with my curiosity about pleasuring another man's cock till later in life.
One thing stood out about what you wrote and it was this.... "I never made it a point to seek these men out but they'd manage to find me and usually by pure chance."
I had a few opportunities when I was younger that seemed to evolve just like that, 'by pure chance', but I was afraid to involve myself then. Now I want those opportunities to present themselves and the 'pure chance' situations don't seem to present themselves. Maybe I'll get lucky though. I had a guy engage me in conversation in the park today as I was sitting, reading. He didn't give me any overt hint that he was seeking anything sexual, but I just got a vibe. Wish me luck. Maybe my pure chance luck is turning.

I'm curious if anyone would give me tips on how to let a guy know there might be something more available to him than conversation. This guy who approached me for conversation didn't give me any overt sign that would have made me feel comfortable to ask if he was interested in some fun. I wasn't sure about his actual interests, but I think I wanted him to make the first move. Once a guy makes the first clear move I can relax and will know how to proceed, feeling like I have someone who can be discreet. I guess I'll have to make a stop where he works....he suggested I stop by....and that may be enough of a sign for him to get comfortable enough to make the next move.

[Grant_Norman]

My wife 10 years ago committed me to a 10 year sentence of celibacy. Fortunately, I got off after just 3 years of porn and jacking and became a full-fledged bisexual. Now., 7 years later I am fully open bisexual to everyone and love it. Divorce is pending, but still at home.

Grant

[atxbi]

In my experience, it has a lot to do with logistics, and having a place to host. There was a time when I was able to host, and I found a lot of men were happy stop by my house and have me relieve them of their built up loads and be on their way. This worked great for me, as I love to suck cock and swallow loads. Now a days, I don’t host anymore and find it much more difficult to find willing dicks to suck. Either they host or on a few occasions I have found a good use for my truck with tinted windows. So if you offer all the accommodations and the hungry mouth, you will surely get a good supply horny dicks to help keep you fed.

[Neonaught]

My wife and I are a bisexual married couple and while we have a decent sex life she's never been able to match my sex drive so I am allowed to enjoy men as well. All of my regular, recurring partners are sexually frustrated married men, the majority of which have wives that have ended their sex lives. Most of them over the years have had some man to man sex experiences and enjoyed them but for many those experiences were many years ago. The fact that I host frequently and have an understanding wife makes meeting easier and I have rarely met anyone that didn't want to come back as often as they can. I'm a top who deeply enjoys pleasuring a partner and knowing how hungry for sex, affection and the release of a good orgasm they are, I'm able to give them that and that makes us both happy. The facts that I am very careful about making sure that I stay disease-free and can provide them with a good experience seems to relax them eventually and allow them to enjoy their time with me and get what many of them have longed for, often for years or decades. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

What I have never been able to get my head around is how many women out there quit on sex, often at surprisingly early ages. What the hell is wrong with these girls? Sex is one of the great joys of life and I have always thought that it's cruel to expect someone to live with you and care for you and yet deny them such a basic need.

[KDaddy23]

@Rest85: In my experiences, guys who want to get with you aren't always obvious about it. The thing you never want to do is to guess incorrectly about a guy so the best thing to do is to engage him in some way - usually a conversation - and feel him out. That's a process that takes time; it depends on how you - or the other guy - reacts to a stranger getting in each other's personal space and striking up a conversation; I have had guys just come up to me and tell me that they want to take me to bed... but that's the exception rather than the rule.

Like, those sexually frustrated men whose lawns I cut? The first guy just... talked to me. Nothing specific other than how he wanted his grass cut. Then asking me about school and hobbies; innocent stuff that's disarming... for most. But I'd had older men hit on me and I recognized that this guy was going somewhere; I was sure about where he was going and, well, what to say if he asks? It took him over an hour of "casual conversation" before he asked me what I thought about gay people and men who have sex with each other. I could have acted like a little bitch and offended but I got the sense I could trust him but listened as he told me about his sex life with his wife - not all that satisfying - but he found pleasure with men. Was that something I might be interested in?

I sucked him off - and revealed that I knew more about this than he may have thought - and he sucked me off. The next week, he fucked me and I did him. It was great but I did have sympathy for him because I'd met his wife and she wasn't one of the nicest people I'd ever met. Even when he recommended my... services to his friends, they didn't come right out and ask for sex but pretty much tip-toed around the subject - and I was happy to let them because, for me, it was a win/win: I was getting paid for the work I was doing (and handsomely) and, at the least, giving and getting blowjobs from guys who were just like the original guy: Horny, frustrated, and getting some dick was the answer.

Approaching a guy who gets your attention is... iffy. So many unknowns and, usually, you might have to have multiple conversations with a guy before you can really start to feel him out and however you decide to do that. I would say that if a guy approaches you and starts talking about anything, be cautious... but give him a listen, you know, if you have the time to. There are a gazillion sexually frustrated married men out there who might be interested in ending that frustration with another man... but the discovery process - and being receptive - has always been iffy.

[DLazguy]

I'm married to a beautiful woman and we have sex 3-5 times a week. I'm frustrated only because I want to enjoy having sex with a guy too. No, my wife will not go for it. I just want to be able to enjoy playing with a guy as much as I love fucking my wife. There are things that I can get from another man that I can't from my wife (receiving a good bj, getting fucked and sucking a dick). Not to mention the rush from sneaking around.

[SilkyHoseLover]

I have stated here before that my niche is servicing sexually Frustrated married men..


Although I won't make a similar claim of intent, that's pretty much the way it works out for me as well. It seems that there's so much of this -- the wife loses interest in sex because of menopause or some other reason, and the husband still wants/needs it. That makes guys like us fairly popular.

Age is often a significant factor for these men, and for men like me, who enjoy offering a faux feminine component to the mix. As I've gotten older, I'm not as virile as I used to be, and am not capable of successfully topping partners of either sex. So I've arrived at the position of liking to assume the role of a woman during sexual activities and work hard at providing the things that are missing from my partners' lives. Perhaps it was a natural progression for me, because I've always enjoyed wearing lingerie. Now I can take it several steps further, and love doing so!

[phalluster]

I'm married to a beautiful woman and we have sex 3-5 times a week. I'm frustrated only because I want to enjoy having sex with a guy too. No, my wife will not go for it. I just want to be able to enjoy playing with a guy as much as I love fucking my wife. There are things that I can get from another man that I can't from my wife (receiving a good bj, getting fucked and sucking a dick). Not to mention the rush from sneaking around.
My situation is somewhat similar. I love my wife and we have a great relationship but here sex drive is pretty low post-menopause. I have an absolute need to have more sexual release than she provides so I get it by masturbating - almost exclusively to gay porn. And I want to go beyond that and have a FWB but I'm not willing to ruin my marriage to have that. I'm OK with that because REALLY enjoy masturbating - the point of frustration is that my wife expects me not to masturbate at all. I'd love advice on how to have that conversation with her!

[Tight1-4u]

My situation is somewhat similar. I love my wife and we have a great relationship but here sex drive is pretty low post-menopause. I have an absolute need to have more sexual release than she provides so I get it by masturbating - almost exclusively to gay porn. And I want to go beyond that and have a FWB but I'm not willing to ruin my marriage to have that. I'm OK with that because REALLY enjoy masturbating - the point of frustration is that my wife expects me not to masturbate at all. I'd love advice on how to have that conversation with her!
straight up honesty.. that is the only way to have any conversation.. you just have to set her down and explain to her that just because she has lost interest dose not mean you have too.. maybe find something that she really likes doing and explain that you don’t care for it so she shouldn’t do it.. you just need to talk with her and help her understand..

[SilkyHoseLover]

straight up honesty.. that is the only way to have any conversation..<snip> you just need to talk with her and help her understand..

I agree with the premise here -- that's the way I conduct my life. I've talked with several, and read of many, men who have been in the position of having great marriages to wonderful women, but are now frustrated by an all-but-frigid wife, often in the wake of menopause. In fact, these pages are filled with such stories! It's kinda like the universal truth for aging men and women: She loses her sex drive and he decides he wants to be with another guy, suck cock, or dress as a woman and enjoy a new sexual direction by having sex with a man.

Even though I'm fully onboard with the recommendation to level with your partner, I have to make a sexist comment: This is a woman you're dealing with. They're not necessarily logical and are very likely to reject this explanation and fail to 'understand', despite how sensible and fair it seems to most of us males. Chances are pretty strong that this won't go over well with the 'typical' wife.

There are, of course, exceptions. I thank God every day of my life to have married the girl that I did...

[KDaddy23]

"I'm OK with that because REALLY enjoy masturbating - the point of frustration is that my wife expects me not to masturbate at all."

If my wife said that to me, I'd 100% ignore it. When you're dealing with a post-menopausal woman, you get to sometimes see that because she's no longer interested in sex, you shouldn't be either and, well, that doesn't work. If she said that and we would most definitely have one hell of a conversation about it, I would remind her that it's my dick and I can play with it any damned time I want to and how irrational it is for her to declare her pussy permanently off-limits and applying it to my dick as well. Not gonna happen, sweetheart, and if you don't like me jerking off, that's your problem and you can rant and rave all you want to. My jerking off has nothing to do with you but I will also say that if you hadn't cut me off from all sex with you, I probably wouldn't be jerking off so much.

I know she would then make the conversation all about her and, well, that's about the time I'd stop listening and start thinking about jerking off later...

[tongueteaser]

I was faithful to one married guy sucking his cock only. I met him at the local bar awhile back. We were talking about this and that and somehow the subject was woman and sex. He was still very sexual active and hirny and wife didint want sex. She didnt give BJ either. I ended up sucking him out in his SUV. He would lay back and I worshipped his head mostly and swallow all of his 5 inch cock too. He would suddenly cum and done. I would simply do him for months as he emailed me. No strings and I liked dick and sucking and he liked my mouth. I was so turned on when he squirt so much cum all in my mouth. Very simply fun with each other and no one knew

[phalluster]

I really appreciate the responses and they validate my thinking.
I should clarify a couple of details that are pertinent given the responses. She has not cut me off completely - we have sex once every week or 2 and when we do we both enjoy it. She has never explicitly told me that she expects me not to masturbate, but anyone who has been married to the same person for more than 30 years has a pretty good idea what their partner is thinking. Of course I could be wrong but I think if I told that I masturbate every day it would not go over well, and especially not if I told her it is almost always to gay porn.

[Jozyxt]

I really appreciate the responses and they validate my thinking.
I should clarify a couple of details that are pertinent given the responses. She has not cut me off completely - we have sex once every week or 2 and when we do we both enjoy it. She has never explicitly told me that she expects me not to masturbate, but anyone who has been married to the same person for more than 30 years has a pretty good idea what their partner is thinking. Of course I could be wrong but I think if I told that I masturbate every day it would not go over well, and especially not if I told her it is almost always to gay porn.

I know what you mean by having an idea for what your partner is thinking. But perhaps what you observe is not everything your wife is thinking.

Why don't you try masturbating in front of her during sex. I know nothing of your sex life, but have found that shaking things up is a good way to keep the sex lively,

[Neonaught]

Any woman who cuts a man off from sex with her AND expects him not to masturbate is just being dumb and needlessly cruel. We've both been married 36 years and we both still masturbate and have even walked in on each other doing so. Neither of us are the least bit embarassed or put out when that happens.

[KDaddy23]

I really appreciate the responses and they validate my thinking.
I should clarify a couple of details that are pertinent given the responses. She has not cut me off completely - we have sex once every week or 2 and when we do we both enjoy it. She has never explicitly told me that she expects me not to masturbate, but anyone who has been married to the same person for more than 30 years has a pretty good idea what their partner is thinking. Of course I could be wrong but I think if I told that I masturbate every day it would not go over well, and especially not if I told her it is almost always to gay porn.

I have heard of - and have heard - some women tell their man that because they're having sex, there is no need for him to masturbate. I heard one woman declare that if her man was jerking off, he was being unfaithful to her. I know/knew a lot of people who didn't believe in masturbation and says it's a sin... but it isn't - that's just them misinterpreting a passage in the bible about poor Onan spilling his seed upon the ground and getting killed for it but that's not why he got killed. Now, methinks if you really wanna know why she's against you jerking off, ask her. I would but I wouldn't stop doing it, either. Rock and hard place: You respect your wife's feelings, beliefs, etc., but when they border on the unreasonable, an explanation is in order on her part and, yeah, it might sound crazy but also an explanation on your part as well, even if it's to "remind" her that guys have been jerking off since they first discovered that if they play with their dick, it gets hard and feels really good.

Methinks it's time to have a long, serious talk with her about this.

[KDaddy23]

Additionally, if some women are baffled at why we'd go have sex with another guy, this is just one of many examples and reasons. You can explain to a woman how we're hard-wired to have sex and they'll acknowledge that... and tell you that we shouldn't be. A lot of men are sexually frustrated because a lot of women don't want to understand that we, again, are hard-wired to empty our balls and it doesn't do us any favors when they feel they have reason to control and even suppress our natural tendencies in this and even more so when, in a relationship setting, we have no recourse; there is no argument that will change her mind about it and, as I've witnessed and have experienced, something that's about being a guy now becomes something that's all about her and what she thinks and feels about it but, again, despite the fact that our need to have sex isn't all that hard to understand.

And not having sex of any kind - including jerking off - is not an option. It's both mentally and physically unhealthy for us and, as I've seen time and time again, when you leave a guy to his own devices, there's no telling what he's going to do in order to resolve this issue, from "sneaking" to jerk off... to having sex with a guy who will do that for him and many other things a lot of women won't do and some they can't do since they don't have a cock. I wouldn't tell her that I jerk off to gay porn; that would just make shit worse for you. However - and I'd feel like an "idiot" doing it - I would tell her that this is what I do because it's something I can do for myself and without having to bug her for sex outside of whatever sex we're already having. it's... normal. We do it just because we can and that we do it doesn't reflect badly on women - it's a guy thing and always has been. The "problem" is that you can hit her with this truth and logical discourse... and it'll go in one ear and out the other. She can tell you that she does understand and still forbid you to do it and, once more, you need to know why she's against you jerking off.

Women...

[papasmurph]

I love to take care of a married or partnered man who is not getting what he needs from his woman. They are appreciative and thankful for what we can do for them. No drama. No shame.

[Willlburrr]

Count me in as one of the guys whom the pussy is drying up post menopause. Awhile back my wife found my vibrator and KY and wanted to know what was going on. I told her I had my own toy and used it on myself from way back, she thought I was lying to her and was messing around on her, I wasn't. Once she figured out I wasn't fucking around on her I decided to introduce my vibrator to her letting her use it on me. I'm not sure she likes it, I'm not sure what to think but we are in the process of her figuring out how I like it. This was a BIG plus for me but their is no way, at this point, I'll tell her about me wanting to try this with a guy.

It has not been easy finding a guy, I've started a conversation with a guy on here so I'll see where it goes but I'm being very particular how I'm going to go about this. I'm not looking for a guy who is bed hopping, I figure finding a married FWB guy works best for my situation as we are in the same boat. I'm not going to meet NOW...TODAY as some guys want. I'm going to be careful and sorry to say not going to mess around with a single or gay guy. Sorry if your feelings are hurt or you are offended but for me it's all about being careful and a married guy will have the same or similar issues as me. Will this work out for me, time will tell but I'm not getting any younger and I'd really like to scratch this itch, so to speak so I'll see where this goes.

[licyou69]

Yeah there are sexually frustrated married men everywhere and somehow we've got to get the word out to them that we're here for them. Leaving with a smile on his face and his cum inside me, in an easy in and out manner so his wife doesn't get upset with him for being off schedule, is exactly what I want.

[Jozyxt]

CoI figure finding a married FWB guy works best for my situation as we are in the same boat.

I got lucky and found a divorced guy with his own apartment. Although he is less reliable than I would prefer for reasons that probably contributed to two divorces. So now I am still a sexually frustrated married guy in a sexulay frustrated bi relationship.

I am still looking for that unicorn.

[swvsucker]

I consider myself a dedicated cocksucker and always have. I have never needed or desired reciprocation. As a result of this I am always up-front with guys and tell them that I really just want to be a "service provider" for them. Over the years I have found that married men are by far the ones who most want to take advantage of what I offer and frustrated married men are always my most regular feeders.

[sissyjackie]

I am a lover of cock. I am a cocksucker and they don’t have touch me they don’t want to. I try to suck just married men. Married here in a sexless marriage. She has no clue she’s married to a cock sucker. Have not had sex with her for close to 15 years and could care less. My mouth is always open for married cock.

[Warmnsalty]

married guys needing service are the BEST, back in the days of CL they were easier to find. Guys in town on biz, or local who just needed head. Sadly DL is a bust in my area, and most str8 guys won't risk Grindr, A4A or the like. Damn shame, there are so many of us cock hungry bottoms willing to just service a guy. Use my mouth or ass then be gone. My perfect kind of hook up. SO keep looking men, hopefully some one finds a CL like solution that works. Till then I'll keep perving grindr and A4A

[KDaddy23]

I was telling my protege last night - and because of an article on Quora he shared on me about how to catch a married man cheating to have sex with men - that in my teen years - 13-19 - I had quite a bit of sex with sexually frustrated married men and men between the ages of 40 and 50 and from middle class to upper middle class. I found them to be... better partners than the single guys I'd have sex with and easier to get along with because few of them had an agenda other than being able to slake their lust for dick. More bottoms than tops and the majority of them were amazing cocksuckers and I'll even say "desperate" enough to go this route in order to be able to have sex when their wives weren't having any of it. As far as the cheating part went, I'd said to my protege that if a guy is left hung out to dry sexually and getting some M2M action is what's called for, they're going to do whatever they have to do and some of those guys I'd slept with said that being able to sleep with a man - and not have to go through all that crap women put men through - is worth the price of a divorce and gaining his freedom to have sex as he wants to.

And I mentioned that I'd often have very strong impressions that the wives of these men knew that they were getting some dick action and said nothing because they guy was still taking care of things.

[Lucky 61]

Has anyone had any luck with Sniffies to find willing playmates?

[Jozyxt]

married guys needing service are the BEST,

I am still looking for a cocksucker that is convenient. A great BJ is a great thing , but a convenient cocksucker who can provide frequent OK BJs is great too. Convenience means hosting nearby and able to work with my schedule. I could really use one right now.

[wifekinky4husband]

My situation is somewhat similar. I love my wife and we have a great relationship but here sex drive is pretty low post-menopause. I have an absolute need to have more sexual release than she provides so I get it by masturbating - almost exclusively to gay porn. And I want to go beyond that and have a FWB but I'm not willing to ruin my marriage to have that. I'm OK with that because REALLY enjoy masturbating - the point of frustration is that my wife expects me not to masturbate at all. I'd love advice on how to have that conversation with her!

You do what my husband did when I went through my slump. We were 100% monogamous and had gone through a great beginning of the marriage. If either of us asked the other for something, we had to be willing to go the extra mile and be able to do it ourselves. We are always very upfront. Then I hit a very long slump. It was horrible. I had almost no desire for sex. We never figured out why. During that time my husband learned to take eat cum, take cum straight from his penis, play anally on himself, purchased toys, used them on himself, eventually learning to totally gang bang himself with loads of playthings and eat more cum in a day than I could in a week. Yeah, he learned he could come A LOT doing all of this. It got so that I had to triple check before I opened the front door or walked in with someone, he might be getting it on as we walked in (and yes that happened more than once). That?s actually how we eventually started opening up to having sex with others but that took a lot more time and many years down the road with a lot of patience and hard work. He knew my history and even in my slump it was very entertaining to watch. I could probably sale his videos for a decent amount. So like you ? phalluster, my husband learned over time to be one heck of a masturbator enjoying it a great deal. He was okay with my slump after a while. We continued working on me and one day over time I came out of it, no rhyme or reason.

I have had so many friend male and female ask me for input on similar situations. My advice varies at times but overall it?s: be upfront, open, honest, you just have spit it out. My husband did everything out in the open. Yes I was stunned by a few things walking in on it but I got the message loud and clear ? get my act together because the train is not slowing down because of me. He married me for sex. I married him for sex. We could have been roommates and best friends without the sex and had a great life, but we felt the need to more of a commitment and we wanted all the sex it offered. Then stuff happened, who knows why. I can no more ask him not to have sex if I am not interested than I can ask him to stop breathing. That?s ludicrous.

Dozens of friends, years later, all still together, all worked it out. How do you have that conversation with her? You flat out tell her. You do not offer enough sex for in our marriage so I am willing to tend to it myself. If you are not interested in me masturbating then what better solution are you offering me? Is she okay with porn? That can be the main issue for most wives. Either way that discussion is one you will have to have as well. I?d rather my husband watch a group of gay men live having sex than porn. There are many psychological reasons but mainly the rewiring of the brain. All one has to do is run tests to prove it. Okay back on telling your wife. I remember when I told my husband I wanted to go to our neighbor?s sex part and watch them have sex. He was stunned. When I told him that is was mainly to watch the men have bisex, he was floored. He knew my past and it is my life, of course he told me that.
Ask your wife to offer you solutions. Sex dolls? Sex toys? Machines? Surrogate sex? Massage sex? Another woman? Okay no women, what about men? Eventually couples have gone there. Some spouses handle it well, other freak, just remind them ? They Have a Choice. Sounds like your wife will choose the masturbation.

Okay so now I am going to vent. How dare a spouse expect their mate to not have sexual release! What the HECK do they think the sex was in the beginning of the marriage? I?m sorry but they are just plain idiots with their heads stuck up their keisters. Dumb arses. Step up or step out of the way and let your mate have the freedom to do WHAT you Refuse to Do. Again?. dumb arses.

[wifekinky4husband]

My wife and I are a bisexual married couple and while we have a decent sex life she's never been able to match my sex drive so I am allowed to enjoy men as well. All of my regular, recurring partners are sexually frustrated married men, the majority of which have wives that have ended their sex lives. Most of them over the years have had some man to man sex experiences and enjoyed them but for many those experiences were many years ago. The fact that I host frequently and have an understanding wife makes meeting easier and I have rarely met anyone that didn't want to come back as often as they can. I'm a top who deeply enjoys pleasuring a partner and knowing how hungry for sex, affection and the release of a good orgasm they are, I'm able to give them that and that makes us both happy. The facts that I am very careful about making sure that I stay disease-free and can provide them with a good experience seems to relax them eventually and allow them to enjoy their time with me and get what many of them have longed for, often for years or decades. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

What I have never been able to get my head around is how many women out there quit on sex, often at surprisingly early ages. What the hell is wrong with these girls? Sex is one of the great joys of life and I have always thought that it's cruel to expect someone to live with you and care for you and yet deny them such a basic need.

100% agree. I fought my way through it to get back to desiring sex. It is doable and there are so many alternate ways to keep your relationship strong when the imbalances occur. I think so many humans have gotten to apathetic. We need a new love revolution!

Btw I am messaging you so we do not hijack the thread.

Kudos to you good sir! I wonder how many wives' might wake up if they say their man enjoying sex again...???

[wifekinky4husband]

@Rest85: In my experiences, guys who want to get with you aren't always obvious about it. The thing you never want to do is to guess incorrectly about a guy so the best thing to do is to engage him in some way - usually a conversation - and feel him out. That's a process that takes time; it depends on how you - or the other guy - reacts to a stranger getting in each other's personal space and striking up a conversation; I have had guys just come up to me and tell me that they want to take me to bed... but that's the exception rather than the rule.

Like, those sexually frustrated men whose lawns I cut? The first guy just... talked to me. Nothing specific other than how he wanted his grass cut. Then asking me about school and hobbies; innocent stuff that's disarming... for most. But I'd had older men hit on me and I recognized that this guy was going somewhere; I was sure about where he was going and, well, what to say if he asks? It took him over an hour of "casual conversation" before he asked me what I thought about gay people and men who have sex with each other. I could have acted like a little bitch and offended but I got the sense I could trust him but listened as he told me about his sex life with his wife - not all that satisfying - but he found pleasure with men. Was that something I might be interested in?

I sucked him off - and revealed that I knew more about this than he may have thought - and he sucked me off. The next week, he fucked me and I did him. It was great but I did have sympathy for him because I'd met his wife and she wasn't one of the nicest people I'd ever met. Even when he recommended my... services to his friends, they didn't come right out and ask for sex but pretty much tip-toed around the subject - and I was happy to let them because, for me, it was a win/win: I was getting paid for the work I was doing (and handsomely) and, at the least, giving and getting blowjobs from guys who were just like the original guy: Horny, frustrated, and getting some dick was the answer.

Approaching a guy who gets your attention is... iffy. So many unknowns and, usually, you might have to have multiple conversations with a guy before you can really start to feel him out and however you decide to do that. I would say that if a guy approaches you and starts talking about anything, be cautious... but give him a listen, you know, if you have the time to. There are a gazillion sexually frustrated married men out there who might be interested in ending that frustration with another man... but the discovery process - and being receptive - has always been iffy.

You are so correct, there are so many sad situations out there. We could have dozens if not hundreds of men in our sex group if it were not married coupled only. It is pretty easy to recognize them once you develop that skill.

[wifekinky4husband]

I'm married to a beautiful woman and we have sex 3-5 times a week. I'm frustrated only because I want to enjoy having sex with a guy too. No, my wife will not go for it. I just want to be able to enjoy playing with a guy as much as I love fucking my wife. There are things that I can get from another man that I can't from my wife (receiving a good bj, getting fucked and sucking a dick). Not to mention the rush from sneaking around.

LOL - Oh my Goodness, you sound like me selling this to my husband. In the beginning he kept asking, "Why do you want ME to do it? You have everything I need and want. Why on earth would I do any of that?" My response, "I do not have a penis, you have no idea what it is like for me to suck a guy off. You can't share in the experience until you do it. And shooting off into your own mouth is not the same as having several back to back Fing your mouth and filling you with load after load of fresh cum. You have no idea what I have done, what it is like. Yes you have me to put your penis inside, any of my holes but as much as we can pretend and as good as it feels for us to F you in you a** there is nothing like the real deal bareback cumming inside you unloading filling you up especially one after another. The orgasms you have now will be multiplied 100 fold. I guarantee!" Over time watching, being around other bicouples, slowly beginning to play here and there, then pinning him down and pressing the issue, he gave in. The man is as good as me now in both areas. But no sneaking around - be careful with that. Trust lost is a nightmare to regain.

[wifekinky4husband]

I really appreciate the responses and they validate my thinking.
I should clarify a couple of details that are pertinent given the responses. She has not cut me off completely - we have sex once every week or 2 and when we do we both enjoy it. She has never explicitly told me that she expects me not to masturbate, but anyone who has been married to the same person for more than 30 years has a pretty good idea what their partner is thinking. Of course I could be wrong but I think if I told that I masturbate every day it would not go over well, and especially not if I told her it is almost always to gay porn.

You need to let her know how much more sex you desire. I would be careful with regards to the porn though.

[wifekinky4husband]

I know what you mean by having an idea for what your partner is thinking. But perhaps what you observe is not everything your wife is thinking.

Why don't you try masturbating in front of her during sex. I know nothing of your sex life, but have found that shaking things up is a good way to keep the sex lively,

I agree!

Don't hide it. Don't feel that you should. You're married for goodness sakes. Let her know, invite her to watch but she is going to want to know you are thinking about her so you better practice on that.

[bibliss]

Married men are indeed beautiful human beings. I believe strongly that married men can remain committed -- in the most positive sense of that term -- to their loving relationship with their wives -- and still embrace their bisexual erotic nature.

[DD788Snipe]

Married men are indeed beautiful human beings. I believe strongly that married men can remain committed -- in the most positive sense of that term -- to their loving relationship with their wives -- and still embrace their bisexual erotic nature.
I completely agree but women have a hard time with that. Not all but most.

Kinkywife I wish all wives had the same understanding as you do. Your husband is a very lucky man. I'm envious.:bowdown:

[Tight1-4u]

Ok I must admit that I probably have not expressed well how this all makes me happy to see and hear others talking about these great men.. I am going to try and explain how I feel about all this.. and why I feel it is so important that others view it kinda the same way..
I feel very strongly that I provide not only sex to these men.. but marriage counseling and sex counseling.. let me explain: by the time these guys come to me for sex.. things at home usually have gotten very strained and stressful.. they are at wits end trying to figure out what is going on.. they can’t understand why they have been cut off.. they probably have done a lot of sole searching to figure out how they can make it better.. they have a lot of stress and strain and built up frustration as well as cum.. the situation at home is stressful.. they are moody and sexually angry!!! So things in their eyes is falling apart.. they are imploding from the inside.. they don’t know what to do.. it seems like what ever they do is wrong.. and being in that mood thing just seem to be getting worse..
enter me.. when they first come to me you can most times see, feel the tension.. so after having sex with me and unloading all the backed up cum in me they leave feeling just a bit odd.. they just unloaded a lot of stress and strain and realized they are relaxed.. something they haven’t felt in a long time.. so they feel kinda weird about it.. then in a few days they feel stressful again.. so they call and want to unload again.. that is when they learn that I am excited to hear from them, excited to see them again, excited to have sex with them again., they like that.. when they show up the next time I am naked and ready., I drop to my knees and go to work getting them ready for sex.. I always tell them that I am sub so you be in charge.. do to me how and what you like!!! Again they unload all their stress and strain in me.. they even kinda start smiling.. as time goes on and they come to me to unload you can see a change come over them.. they smile more, their moods are better, they get a spring in their step.. you can tell their is more good in their days than not.. somewhere along the line their wives notice the change too.. things are better at home.. now this change takes time.. but I provide a place where he is wanted,, I am excited to see him,, I am excited to have sex with him.. now he feels good about himself.. at some point his wife notices and feels good about the change.. soon they don’t need me anymore.. which I must admit at first was kinda hard for me because I wasn’t seeing him as much if at all.. but then I realized that in some small way I gave him what he needed at the time.. I would say that 98% of the guys I have had sex with have patched things up at home.. I would say that is good!!!

[KDaddy23]

I think that the plight of sexually frustrated married men isn't really understood until a guy becomes one. I've always found it interesting that when you leave a man to his own devices - he's at his wit's end dealing with a wife who won't have sex with him - having sex with a guy just seems to be the thing that has to be done and provide they don't turn to another woman for it and running the risk of eventually getting cut off again. When I got married, I was... floored by the many men and women who wanted to have sex with me and many of them just happened to not want to have sex with me before I was married! Now, I've always been bisexual so it's not like I had to change anything about myself but I've been with a lot of SFMMs that I understand why we're having sex and what has led him to this moment. Sometimes it can be like therapy or counseling because I've - again - learned why we're doing whatever and if they're feeling some regret about it - and, sometimes, they do - then it just makes sense to ask them what would make things better at home for them or if they think the marriage can be salvaged in this respect and sometimes they're able to get things at home back on track... and sometimes not and now divorce is the only solution.

Still, married men are quite prized...

[wifekinky4husband]

I completely agree but women have a hard time with that. Not all but most.

Kinkywife I wish all wives had the same understanding as you do. Your husband is a very lucky man. I'm envious.:bowdown:

Yes I do not get the majority of women. They all need a swift kick in the derriere. Why the heck do they marry you guys in the first place? They can have friends, companions even, they can share a home, even have kids (no sex), but for the sex I know I wouldn’t have married. Yes I went through a slump but we still found a way to make it work. It’s so simple to me, if I am not going to give it up to my man then he needs to get it somehow: masturbate, dildos, sex toys, machines, devices, dolls, I’d rather him get sucked off by a group of men than a single woman. I know he will never do it but I’d rather him F men in the a** than a single woman. I’d rather him have group sex period over one on one sex with anyone. Honestly I would prefer he get F ed in the a** and suck cock than anything. It is less threatening to me. Spit roasted is amazing top watch and I’d be 1000% fine with that all day long everyday on him if I wasn’t providing sex.

I am not the only wife who fills this way. In our group all the wives feel this way except maybe the newest, they haven't matured yet.

[KDaddy23]

Yeah, it's not unusual for women to feel the way wifekinky feels about it. Better hubby get his jollies with other guys than to seek them with another woman because she's right and more so when you ask your woman that is she's not going to have sex with you, who's supposed to... and her answer is, "No one is." And if you don't like it, all you can do is not like it... and this mentality is exactly why men cheat on their woman and if it's with a guy, well, maybe he wouldn't have gone there if girlfriend was giving it up to begin with.

And, yeah, a lot of women need a few swift kicks in the derriere because there's a good chance they're going to find out what a sexually frustrated man is going to do about that and, yeah, they really have no idea - or doesn't care - how this frustration is very damned unhealthy for him and in a great many ways.

[wifekinky4husband]

Yeah, it's not unusual for women to feel the way wifekinky feels about it. Better hubby get his jollies with other guys than to seek them with another woman.


Exactly! He can F all the women we wants in our group but I am not about any of this one on one mess. Oh and I am right there supervising - lol! :0

Sorry for the misspells earlier and typos. I was tired and didn't catch them before it would no longer let me edit.

[wifekinky4husband]

when you ask your woman that is she's not going to have sex with you, who's supposed to... and her answer is, "No one is." And if you don't like it, all you can do is not like it... and this mentality is exactly why men cheat on their woman and if it's with a guy, well, maybe he wouldn't have gone there if girlfriend was giving it up to begin with.

Totally! We apparently live in a very liberal area sexually - somehow, I am not certain how everyone sort of migrated here. I've never had neighbors so openly talk about sex, marital problems (sexual most of the time), and kinks - oh my goodness at the kinks. Crazy! With all that said, I can tell you so many stories of people in our area one after another of the lazy to the crazy. It's sad but also fires me up when a young wife says, "I don't get why he is cheating on me." I ask point blank - do you F him? A lot? All the time? All over the place? In ways and manners unbecoming of an unmarried woman? lol. Yes I laugh. Do you do oral, anal, toys, bend over, bend him over, oral/anal, finger, masturbate, yes I can get very graphic with them. The dumber they act or the more innocent the more I pour it own. It down right irks me. 7 out of 10 are lazy ladies who don't want their men to have fun sex with them or anyone else. Grrrrrrrr - and this is not the I'm turn on Grrrrrrr, this is the I wanna smack the beeeegheebeees our of them. There needs to be major marital sex training centers all over the place to train couples on how to have good sex - oh my goodness. I get bad marriages can stem from other issues but I still have yet to find one that has not overcome everything as long as the sex was stupendous! My man has proven he will do ANYTHING for me because our sex is that good. Seriously, the man sucks cock for me, drinks as much cum as I do if not more, and takes it up his backside like a cowtown whore being rode like a bronco. He would never in a million years do any of this had it not already been amazing. He'd be out whoring with the women. The man loves women, loves me but does some pretty incredible things because I have always seen to it that our sex was good, even when I went through rough patches myself.

[wifekinky4husband]

And, yeah, a lot of women need a few swift kicks in the derriere because there's a good chance they're going to find out what a sexually frustrated man is going to do about that and, yeah, they really have no idea - or doesn't care - how this frustration is very damned unhealthy for him and in a great many ways.

Preach it! The last little neighbor girl who came crying about how her man was having sex with someone else got preached at by me. After asking her a lot of questions, she wouldn't suck him, jerk him off, only gave it up vaginally in three positions, and wanted nothing to do with his anal toys or any toys. She said, he doesn't need any of that or really want it.

Come to find to find out, a gay couple suck and F him almost daily. They like him so much they want to bring him into their home. That girls hasn't a clue what her man wants. I know the couple and they are extremely sexual, we had even considered inviting them to our group. They give off an amazing vibe. I told them they should let her walk in on a nice spit roast of her husband. Oh but now I'm being mean.

[KDaddy23]

Here's the question I've asked both men and women: "If you're not having sex with your partner, who's supposed to and more so when you know that having sex is part of being in the relationship?" The usual answer is, "Nobody is!" and then I got to point out to them that if they're being cheated on, well, now you know why it happened. Too many women find out the hard way what can happen when they leave their man to his own devices and how withholding sex will put him between a rock and a hard place and the next thing they know, he's having sex with someone like Tight1-4U because he's willing to do what his woman refuses to do. In your example, the girl didn't have a clue about what her man wanted... because it wasn't about him: It was all about her and what she wasn't going to do and her... limited view on the many ways a couple can have sex and keep it all in the relationship.

Spit-roasting her hubby and she getting an eyeful of that is... mean but it would drive a lesson home to her if she's smart enough to learn it... and I don't get the feeling that she is. The message is, however, that if a woman puts her man into a position where he becomes sexually frustrated, whatever happens next is going to be something that she's seriously not going to like and will, very likely, destroy the relationship - and that it didn't have to be like that and the preventative solution was relatively simple: Have sex with the man and have a sense of adventure while you're at it. If the worst happens, you can bet anything you want to that she'll put all the blame on him and will not accept any of the blame and, sadly, that's pretty typical.

[KDaddy23]

I have sucked and fucked a lot of sexually frustrated men and, usually, all because their woman refuses to have sex with them and doesn't much care about the consequences of her inactions...

[wifekinky4husband]

If the worst happens, you can bet anything you want to that she'll put all the blame on him and will not accept any of the blame and, sadly, that's pretty typical.

This is also the consistent conclusion I have witnessed. I will reach out to the poor thing and talk again. I hate whining, even more so when the person has the ability to do something about it so I get very snippy. I think a good day out in the sun at the pool with our ladies (always nude & always talking sex) might wake her up. She might not know how fun sex is and hopefully seeing other ladies who love it might help. If it does I'm going to send her a bill for therapy - lol.

[wifekinky4husband]

I have sucked and fucked a lot of sexually frustrated men and, usually, all because their woman refuses to have sex with them and doesn't much care about the consequences of her inactions...

I think all you guys who do this and know this should post all this on those wife whining sites where the women post about how their husband always want sex sex sex sex sex.

Somebody needs to wake these women up!

[Tight1-4u]

I have sucked and fucked a lot of sexually frustrated men and, usually, all because their woman refuses to have sex with them and doesn't much care about the consequences of her inactions...
Too many women find out the hard way what can happen when they leave their man to his own devices and how withholding sex will put him between a rock and a hard place and the next thing they know, he's having sex with someone like Tight1-4U because he's willing to do what his woman refuses to do.
KDaddy: thank you I could have not said it better myself.. I love my guys.. they deserve better.. I love giving them what they want and need.. I love being sub,, it amazes me that most of my guys have never really been in a situation where they are in control.. when I have sucked them hard and gotten them ready to fuck me.. given them the lube to get us ready and are at the point of no return ( lol ) and tell them they are in charge,, most times I get kinda a blank stare look like they are confused.. they are not sure what to do.. so I explain to them that they are in charge.. do me how you want.. do to me what you want.. they will but be asking is it ok if I do this.. I just say yes please do what you want.. like I said before when they have unloaded in me I kiss them deeply and thank them for fucking me and giving me their stress and strain and built up cum.. tell them that they did good that I really enjoyed them being in me.. that I am excited to see them again and have them in me.. most of the time they have a confusing look on their face.. but smile and say they feel better.. it usually takes 2-3 sessions before they really get the idea that they are in charge.. that I want to please them.. and that they are pleasing me.. I love these guys!!! I love seeing the changes they go through.. both mentally and sexually... I love watching them go from almost timid sexual men to strong powerful sexual men.. large and in-charge!!! I think that most of their wives have never seen or experienced their men being strong powerful sexual men.. again thank you KDaddy!!!

[KDaddy23]

@Tight1-4u, you're the one to be thanked for what you've said about this and bringing some important awareness to this most troubling problem a lot of men wind up having to deal with. I know that when "a lot" of married men were hitting on me for sex, at first, I couldn't figure it out because they're married and it's a wife's duty to fuck her husband but then I would learn that wives, for many reasons, shirk and avoid this and while those men weren't of a mind to have sex with another woman, they were quite eager to have sex with me and other guys. Sometimes it wasn't about me blowing them or them fucking me - they wanted to suck me off and wanted me to fuck them because, as one man said, it was the kind of sex that he couldn't get from any woman and that made sense. And it is to note that some of those frustrated men I encountered were experiencing sex with a guy for the first time, which got me to wondering what makes a guy who's sexually frustrated decide that having sex with another man is the solution to his problem. Some, as it would be discovered, were getting back to letting this side of themselves out to play after a long time being "stuck in the house" but, yeah, you get a man sexually frustrated and left to his own devices and, well, wives who aren't giving it up to their man will be the ones with a very serious problem.

[papasmurph]

I am fascinated how the word gets around... as @KDaddy23 and a couple other guys described. KDaddy has always been quite confident in his sexuality and able and willing to share his knowledge and his stories with us. I just can't imagine this word getting around so that one guy mentions it to another guy and then, that guy contacts you...and your group grows. I've never engaged with a neighbor or a friend, or had a conversation that went that far... I've tried. I once danced around the topic when a young man came to install a front door on my house. I really can't believe how bold I was but without coming right out and saying - do you want a blow job? he knew what I was suggesting, and he said no thanks... it was OK, though - very calm response.
I've put the word out on various places and have had some hits. I can host during the day three days per week - and I"ve had a couple guys stop by - one repeated a visit a few times. All married. All just regular guys. I enjoy this a lot. I get a rush from it even if I get nothing in return. Usually, with these guys I do not get anything in return, either.

[Tight1-4u]

Papasmurph: I don’t know about anyone else but for me this all started very innocently.. back like 25 years ago back in the early days of Craigslist.. I was responding to and placing adds to hookup.. back then there were way more tops than bottoms.. so it was kinda easy to find someone to have sex with.. but I noticed there were a lot of married men looking.. at that time I just figured that they were cheating on their wives so I pretty much avoided them.. not wanting to be in any way shape or form in the middle of that.. there were how ever a few guys that kept their marriage to themselves.. and yes we hooked up.. only to later to reveal that they were married.. and explained their situation.. still it took me a while to wrap my head around it all.. and find my way to being open to it all.. so when it kinda all made sense to me I started to place adds about sexually frustrated married men.. it seemed like they came out of the woodwork.. to be honest I was over whelmed.. I certainly was not prepared to handle all the guys that were contacting me.. so I started screening them to try and weed out what I called the players.. guys just looking for an easy hookup.. I realized that there were real guys out there with real frustration.. a lot that were really depressed and confused about their situation.. I was confused about the whole thing.. so I started seeing one or two along the way and would talk to them and ask questions trying to figure out wtf.. so one thing became very clear.. that women weather or not you want to admit it or not control sex!!! They divvy it out like it is gold.. men go from being single and chasing pussy to married and begging for it.. men get caught and the wife is in total control of sex.. then when she cuts it off they think it is their fault.. most go to great lengths to try and figure it out.. as long as they the females see and think that the guy is stressed and suffering in their minds things are fine..
Enter me.. I was already a sub bottom guy.. already knew that I have a female half in me.. loves to have sex with men and be the female in the act.. so the married guys I started seeing came to me very kinda timid repressed.. all I did was enjoy seeing them and being with them.. having sex with them.. enjoying sex with them.. I started noticing that they started being happier more vibrant.. being more in control and less stressed.. and their wives started noticing as well..
so over the years I have kept placing adds but nearly as often as before.. and the guys that have been here over the years also refer guys to me.. so it has all kinda snowballed into what it is today..

[DD788Snipe]

But no sneaking around - be careful with that. Trust lost is a nightmare to regain.

No better truth spoken.

[rascal2014]

I finally understand about being a married frustrated man. My wife lost most desire to let loose during sex several years ago.

I finally met a guy last Monday that was willing to help me be a top. I have some ED at times but he knew how to get me worked up enough to enter him. It was an incredible experience and hopefully I will get to meet up with him again soon. He didn't ask for anything in return. It seemed I was satisfied for the rest of the week. I want to say thanks to all who takes the time to help us old sexually frustrated guys. It was my first time being a too. I had tried once before but the guy didn't understand how to relax.

[KDaddy23]

@papasmurph, the word getting around depends on some stuff and I happened to live in a city where the word on who was sucking dick and other stuff tended to get around pretty quickly because while the rule has been, "I won't tell if you won't," guys do tell other guys about the guy who'll blow or fuck them and I either had the good or bad fortune to be known as that guy who was very cool about it. And the "funny" part is that you never really know who knows you and who might put the word out on you. I had a neighbor who knew a guy I'd gotten with so we could suck each other off and I was talking to him one day while we were both cutting our lawns and he comes right out and says that he heard that I'm good at sucking dick... and would I be interested in helping him out? Being my neighbor, I knew his wife - she was a real piece of work so I wasn't all that surprised that he needed "help" but when I asked him who told him this - and gave the guy's name - I just shrugged and agreed to help him out and more so when it was better than cutting grass.

He then told the guy who lived across the street from us and a guy who I never interacted with other than speaking to him and he's in the same frustrated boat but this time, it didn't take much to figure out who told him. In this way, I learned that I wasn't the only cocksucker in the development and many of those guys were of the sexually frustrated variety. I get that some guys adopt the rule of not shitting where they eat and out of concern over being outed but, nah, I never let that bother me all that much because good sex is where you find it... and sometimes, you don't have to go far to find it.

Still, this situation leaves a frustrated man to his own devices and to the point where he will pretty much do anything to not keep on being frustrated and if that guy knows another frustrated guy, well, he now knows a guy who might be interested in helping him out, too. Where I live now, I'd hooked up with a guy in the development for a quickie blowjob and, yep, he told someone else about me and I did that guy, who turned around and told another guy... and that's just how it can work. In this situation, it becomes a matter of "If you don't mind, it doesn't matter..." and for the sexually frustrated guy, he's probably not going to mind a whole lot; it's not to say that he's gonna run around and blab about what he did with you but, yup, sometimes, it happens and the best advertising ever is... word of mouth.

[Tight1-4u]

KDaddy:sometimes, it happens and the best advertising ever is... word of moutH
Very well said.. most of the guys that I see are or have been referred to me by guys I have had sex with.. the conversation usually starts out... I heard you are the guy!!! So ya word of mouth...

[KDaddy23]

It's... the company you keep. It stands to reason that if you don't associate with other men a whole lot, it's not likely that other guys will find out that you love having sex with men and the word never gets out that you do. Still, it comes down to one simple thing and in my opinion: If you're one of the sexually frustrated, what are you willing to do about it?

[stevelover]

Here's the question I've asked both men and women: "If you're not having sex with your partner, who's supposed to and more so when you know that having sex is part of being in the relationship?" The usual answer is, "Nobody is!" and then I got to point out to them that if they're being cheated on, well, now you know why it happened.



Grounds for IMMEDIATE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, DIVORCE!!! Some serious bullshit there...I can't even express how angry that would make me.

[wifekinky4husband]

Grounds for IMMEDIATE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, DIVORCE!!! Some serious bullshit there...I can't even express how angry that would make me.

Which part? I'm not clear and I'm curious.

[stevelover]

Which part? I'm not clear and I'm curious.

If my wife said she was done having sex and therefore so was I, without any discussion or consideration. That's some passive aggressive manipulative BS that I would not put up with.
Luckily my wife is thoughtful and considerate.

[papasmurph]

I decided to post something on Double List. I titled it "are you a sexually frustrated married man" and I spelled out what I was offering.
Man, oh man - you guys are right.
I have been getting a regular stream of replies - all serious...all interested in getting together with me. one even offered me to come over to his place later some night so we could enjoy a slow go at it.
I am stunned. This was amazing to me.
I think I am well on my way to providing a gift to some well-deserving men.

[KDaddy23]

@papasmurph, "If you build it, they will come..." or, in this case, you will make them cum.

[Tight1-4u]

papasmurf: congrats.. you are taking g on a great bunch of men.. if you show them you are excited to give them what they want and need they will give you what you want over and over as much as you can handle..

[Fiddlestyx]

I've been following along with this thread and thinking I've something to say from the perspective of being one of the "Sexually Frustrated Married Men" of the title. As I've gone along it has occurred to me that I might have altogether too much to say, but here goes anyway. Apologies if this gets long because, well - it probably will.

Me - 67-year old, married ten years to a now-60-year-old woman I love very much, am still deeply attracted to (sexually and in every other sense). We were together three years before marriage. Sex the first few years was intense, adventurous and everywhere. Then around the time we married and my wife's menopause started to deepen vaginal intercourse started to become increasingly painful. We consulted doctors and they couldn't find anything in particular wrong. It certainly wasn't a lack of wetness as she was still always drenched and flowing. The only thing anyone could come up with was the the vaginal walls had thinned and made the nerves hyper sensitive. My wife was always massively orgasmic strictly from penetrative intercourse so perhaps a predisposition to more sensitivity than the norm? The only solution the was suggested was to try hormone replacement and my wife was terrified of the idea and it went nowhere.

So we shifted to oral and anal sex for a few more years with interest in anal waning after a while in spite of my wife also being orgasmic that way as well. She's always enjoyed being on the receiving end of oral, but never terribly enthusiastic about her side of it. Finally four years ago she just stopped being willing. The last remaining biological urge seemed to have fled and that was that. we'd say "we should have sex", but I never could get her interested no matter what path I followed. That her 28-year-old son moved back in with us probably has not helped as it pretty much dampens opportunity for anything spontaneous. How I am supposed to be dealing with this is something I can't seem to get a discussion going about. I know it isn't that she's seeing someone else or even self-pleasuring - just shut it right down. Lord knows I've tried... on the other hand, I can't imagine myself feeling at all turned on by trying to push her to have sex. Not my way at all. At least I have memories of some astoundingly grerat sex to carry with me...

So to the other side of my story - my first experience with a man came when on a whim I answered an ad in the Pennysaver. Every since I first got into sex with women I've had a curiosity what it was like from their standpoint, I was between relationships at the time and thought it was perhaps the moment to find out if I was ever going to. The guy (married, bi) came across as interesting and sympathetic, I gave it a try and we've been playing together on and off for three decades now. Bisexuality covers a pretty wide range of thinking, feeling and behaviours and I've always felt like I was more on the "sexually adventurous hetero" side than anything. I've never been attracted to men romantically nor physically and I don't see that ever changing, but when I let go the sex can be great. I'm glad I took the chance as I've learned a lot and had a lot of fun and pleasure in the process. Life would have been a lot less rewarding without it.

My wife has in past been bisexual, especially in her 20s and again after her first marriage when she had a full-on lesbian relationship (with a very masculine woman) for a while. Since that ended she seems to have lost interest in that direction. She has no issues at all with sex between men, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't take well to it involving me at this point. Women seem sometimes to be a bit odd about that - my ex had along-running sexual relationship with her lesbian best friend before we married, but she was very clear that she thought sex between men was disgusting and that if she ever thought I was having it divorce would be immediate. I digress - my point being that if I'd met my current wife a few years earlier I suspect we might have managed a mutual bisexual situation somehow. Too bad, but the water already flowed under that bridge before I got there.

So to the present - how to deal with having some sort of sexual relationship within the situation I'm presented with. I've not interest in divorce. As I've said - I love my wife dearly, am still madly attracted to her and apart from the lack of sex we have a close and really happy, enjoyable relationship. Having said that, even my wife admits freely that we'd be a lot closer if the sex were still happening, not that it is apparently enough to get things restarted. I've a number of sexually-frustrated married women sniffing around and hinting (a couple considerably more than hinting), but I know from my personal history that is not a feasible path. Over the decades I've had a few female FWB situations and even when we're both really clear about things going in it rapidly turns to them wanting to leave their husbands and have the whole package. Lord knows why, but every woman I've had in my life since I was in uni has in short order wanted to marry me. Then when I steer things off that path they get angry and resentful and it all goes to hell in a handbasket. Not going there again even though I suspect my wife would be potentially be amenable. That way lie dragons...

Enough blather, to my present thinking. Much as the well-spring of my sexual energy has always come from the female half of the species I'm trying to rewire a bit. We'll see how that goes, but it looks like the best path open to me. I've talked about this with my buddy and he's onboard to support. He's a bit different from me in that he finds men physically and potentially romantically attractive. I'm just hoping I don't end up with the same sort of issue with him that I've had with female FWB, but I think he's clear on that.

Getting together tomorrow morning. We're both seriously in need of a cock in our ass at this point - talking about it has had us both half-hard on and off all week...

[Rest85]

In my experience, it has a lot to do with logistics, and having a place to host. There was a time when I was able to host, and I found a lot of men were happy stop by my house and have me relieve them of their built up loads and be on their way. This worked great for me, as I love to suck cock and swallow loads. Now a days, I don?t host anymore and find it much more difficult to find willing dicks to suck. Either they host or on a few occasions I have found a good use for my truck with tinted windows. So if you offer all the accommodations and the hungry mouth, you will surely get a good supply horny dicks to help keep you fed.

This is so true. The hosting issue has caused me to miss out on sucking more than a few married men.

I do wish I still had use of my ex's van with tinted windows. I 'entertained' a few men in it without her knowledge.

[KDaddy23]

@Fiddlestyx, thanks for sharing this; yours is a classic case of how a woman can just shut down from sex and now you're left hanging in the wind and the point where a lot of men are at a loss over what to do because they still love her and want to have sex with her... but. Medicine has yet to come up with a way to "refire" a woman' sexual drive without a lot of risk to her, like hormone replacement (the usual cause of the loss of a woman's libido being a reduction in those hormones) but that has a side effect of causing strokes and heart attacks. All kinds of lubricants available for the lack of moisture but they don't do a whole lot for whatever pain she might be feeling and to the point where just being eaten is something she's not gonna want to be bothered with, let alone anything else.

The thing that I've been trying to figure out for a lot of years is what makes a man in this situation decide that having sex with a man is the solution for this and especially - and specifically - if the man in question has never entertained such thoughts before. Guys with... prior experience? That makes sense. Some of these other guys have told me that they chose sex with men because they didn't feel right having sex with other women but while I find this a valid explanation, what puts that thought in their head in the first place? Of course, the other problem is that a guy can take to this out of sheer necessity and a lot of women aren't going to like it one bit; it's like they've given up on sex and he's supposed to give it up as well.

[Fiddlestyx]

@Fiddlestyx, thanks for sharing this; yours is a classic case of how a woman can just shut down from sex and now you're left hanging in the wind and the point where a lot of men are at a loss over what to do because they still love her and want to have sex with her... but. Medicine has yet to come up with a way to "refire" a woman' sexual drive without a lot of risk to her, like hormone replacement (the usual cause of the loss of a woman's libido being a reduction in those hormones) but that has a side effect of causing strokes and heart attacks. All kinds of lubricants available for the lack of moisture but they don't do a whole lot for whatever pain she might be feeling and to the point where just being eaten is something she's not gonna want to be bothered with, let alone anything else.

The thing that I've been trying to figure out for a lot of years is what makes a man in this situation decide that having sex with a man is the solution for this and especially - and specifically - if the man in question has never entertained such thoughts before. Guys with... prior experience? That makes sense. Some of these other guys have told me that they chose sex with men because they didn't feel right having sex with other women but while I find this a valid explanation, what puts that thought in their head in the first place? Of course, the other problem is that a guy can take to this out of sheer necessity and a lot of women aren't going to like it one bit; it's like they've given up on sex and he's supposed to give it up as well.
Funny thing being the age I am now - 67. Some women look at me and want into my pants and others seem to think "he's a senior citizen and still wants sex? - dirty old man!" I look more like 50 than my actual age (payback for looking like I was 12 until I was already in uni) so women even considerably younger than me come on to me fairly often. i appreciate it and them, but (as I said) historically I recognize it would be guaranteed disaster even if I wanted them, which I really don't. I like what I have and she still turns me on in spite of her efforts to avoid doing so. On the odd occasion when I steal a little naked hug when we're dressing I always have instant raging hard-on... which she usually responds to by giggling. I'm sure she likes that she can still "get a rise out of me". The idea of adding the complexity of another woman... oy.

What amazes me is how a woman like my wife can go from having wildfires in her loins to complete zero over such a short period. In my wife's case I understand a bit as she's always been a bit of a *VERY* responsive "pillow princess". She loved intercourse and was pretty active during it, but giving oral or anything else directly involving a cock was never really her thing. So when she lost the part of sex she enjoyed most (by far) I can understand how she'd lose enthusiasm. Having said that, I'm guessing she just figures I'll "take matters in hand" and deal with my sexual frustrations that way. She's never inquired... we talk about sex once in a long while and she agrees we should do something, but then when suggestions are made is never interested even though it has had a hugely beneficial effect on our relationship in general when we did have even just some oral fun. How she really justifies the situation to herself I am never quite sure.

I've pondered the possibility of finding a M/F bi couple, but none I've encountered have any interest in a solo married male. I suppose one can dream... I deeply miss a woman's body and the pheromones. If I could have both and no worries of the woman latching onto me?

As to what puts the notion of having sex with another man into the head of someone who has no prior interest? Well, it isn't the 50s any more. Guys read Penthouse Letters and probably got a little titillated.. seeds were planted (so to speak). Desperation breeds desperate solutions. I completely understand not wanting to drag another woman into the frame and for many reasons.

So - as I've said, I had some on and off play with a male friend for decades now. Sometimes a few times in a year, sometimes not at all for a few years. I've discussed things with him and while he thinks I'm nuts to still be interested in women (he wishes his wife would lose interest!) he's more than willing to help out. As I mentioned in another thread, my VERY recent discovery that I am anally orgasmic (where has that been hiding for five decades?) perhaps kinda throws a new light on things. We got together this morning and he while couldn't get hard enough to penetrate me (he's in his mid-70s) he used my toy on me and OMG, OMG, OMG... the orgasm started almost immediately, went on and on and was so intense I scarcely noticed when I actually physically came (in his mouth). He has a few younger buddies he plays with and today was kinda showing me pics of them suggestively. Not sure I want to go there, either!

So it is a "rock and hard place" situation, one where it seems I won't end up with what I really want most no matter what I do.

In a little PS - there is a married Hindu Indian lady whose husband gave up sex very early with whom I had a very brief FWB fling before I met my wife. We've remained friends over the years and lately she's been sorta begging if please, please we could start having sex again. I'm not wildly attracted to her, but... *sigh*

[KDaddy23]

I get it: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...

[papasmurph]

@Fiddlestyx I appreciate reading these posts you shared about your wife and your relationship of late. I'll tell you, so much I relate to - yet, my life and marriage took a different path because my wife expected me to remain monogamous AKA: celibate. While I tried to jusify my playing around with guys would not interfere with our marriage, she strongly disagreed. I have come to accept her point of view which has driven us to live separate lives while we continue to share the same address. It is going OK but far from ideal. Her loss of interest in sex drove me to seek out my desire for sex with men. I was able to hold that off for years, thinking it was the right thing to do. Now, I am not so sure I should have done that back then. As @KDaddy23 said "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do..."

[Neonaught]

@Fiddlestyx I appreciate reading these posts you shared about your wife and your relationship of late. I'll tell you, so much I relate to - yet, my life and marriage took a different path because my wife expected me to remain monogamous AKA: celibate. While I tried to jusify my playing around with guys would not interfere with our marriage, she strongly disagreed. I have come to accept her point of view which has driven us to live separate lives while we continue to share the same address. It is going OK but far from ideal. Her loss of interest in sex drove me to seek out my desire for sex with men. I was able to hold that off for years, thinking it was the right thing to do. Now, I am not so sure I should have done that back then. As @KDaddy23 said "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do..."

Have said this before and will say it again: for a wife to cut off all sex forever and expect her mate to remain celibate is simply cruel and unrealistic. Humans are sexual beings and good sex contributes to good physical and mental health. Just because she no longer cares for sex in her life should not mean that the man should never be allowed to discretely seek fulfillment elsewhere.

[Fiddlestyx]

@Fiddlestyx I appreciate reading these posts you shared about your wife and your relationship of late. I'll tell you, so much I relate to - yet, my life and marriage took a different path because my wife expected me to remain monogamous AKA: celibate. While I tried to jusify my playing around with guys would not interfere with our marriage, she strongly disagreed. I have come to accept her point of view which has driven us to live separate lives while we continue to share the same address. It is going OK but far from ideal. Her loss of interest in sex drove me to seek out my desire for sex with men. I was able to hold that off for years, thinking it was the right thing to do. Now, I am not so sure I should have done that back then. As @KDaddy23 said "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do..."
My situation is a bit odd in some ways. I have yet to manage to get my wife into a really clear and substantive discussion on the topic. The best I've been able to accomplish is some skirting about. Having said that - she has a sorta long-and-deep hippie-ish past and views emotional fidelity as being far more important than sexual. In her last relationship prior to our meeting she had a live-in lover who wasn't interested in monogamy. She was apparently ok with that and allowed him to bring women to the house to have sex in the basement, but with the proviso that she meet and vet them first. Even then the idjit couldn't behave respectfully and stayed over at some women's place one too many times and found his belongings on the lawn. Some guys... anyway, not really interested in following in his footsteps in that regard. I feel like if I'm discrete about things and not in her face with anything as long as I remain emotionally monogamous (no problem) we can sorta make things work. I just realize from the outset that involving another women is guaranteed to introduce an emotional aspect (on their part, like it or not) that I don't want to have to deal with. Not ideal, but if I get my yayas out from time to time and live in peace and love the rest it is a passable situation. Not ideal, but...

[Jozyxt]

Have said this before and will say it again: for a wife to cut off all sex forever and expect her mate to remain celibate is simply cruel and unrealistic. Humans are sexual beings and good sex contributes to good physical and mental health. Just because she no longer cares for sex in her life should not mean that the man should never be allowed to discretely seek fulfillment elsewhere.

A woman that forgoes sex should be grateful if her husband is bi. He is a lot less likely to leave her for a male lover.

[darkeyes]

A woman that forgoes sex should be grateful if her husband is bi. He is a lot less likely to leave her for a male lover.

Hysterical bollocks! ��

[Fiddlestyx]

Hysterical bollocks! ��
I was just thinking about your little subscript - "Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you." In situations like these people seem to have a challenge "putting themselves into the other person's shoes". If we were all a bit better at that these situations might not be so fraught as they seem to become.

[papasmurph]

I hate to suck and tell... but, I had my first visitor from the Double List ad I posted earlier this week...
In the response, this guy told me he liked it long and slow, but today he prefaced it with "I don't have much time". I said, "OK, well...no need to waste time then..."
He dropped his pants around his ankles and sat down.
First thing I noticed was double scars on either side indicating hip replacement surgeries.
His cock was nice and already responding before I even got down on my knees.
I worked my magic and he was nicely hard in no time. He asked me real soon to back off because he was going to cum. Asked if I was kiss and lick his balls.
Gladly.
He was definitely nervous, but he seemed to enjoy my willingness to lick and bathe his nutsack with my tongue.
It was not long at all, and he was moving his cock back to my lips.
I took the whole thing down my throat which seemed to take his breath away - he muttered "ohhh, man"
I tried to go slow but this guy nutted down my throat quickly.
The whole thing took less than 10 minutes.
That gold band on his finger caught my eye. I told him I understood how it feels to be married and frustrated.
He shook his head in agreement.
He thanked me and left.
It was my pleasure.

Now what? Will he contact me again? Should I just leave it there and let him contact me?

[papasmurph]

My situation is a bit odd in some ways. I have yet to manage to get my wife into a really clear and substantive discussion on the topic. The best I've been able to accomplish is some skirting about. Having said that - she has a sorta long-and-deep hippie-ish past and views emotional fidelity as being far more important than sexual. In her last relationship prior to our meeting she had a live-in lover who wasn't interested in monogamy. She was apparently ok with that and allowed him to bring women to the house to have sex in the basement, but with the proviso that she meet and vet them first. Even then the idjit couldn't behave respectfully and stayed over at some women's place one too many times and found his belongings on the lawn. Some guys... anyway, not really interested in following in his footsteps in that regard. I feel like if I'm discrete about things and not in her face with anything as long as I remain emotionally monogamous (no problem) we can sorta make things work. I just realize from the outset that involving another women is guaranteed to introduce an emotional aspect (on their part, like it or not) that I don't want to have to deal with. Not ideal, but if I get my yayas out from time to time and live in peace and love the rest it is a passable situation. Not ideal, but...
I tend to be able to guard my heart emotionally when it comes to men. I lost control last year when I met a guy. He and I hit it off and I fell hard for him. This went on for 11 months until one day it blew up in my face. My wife, on the other hand, had no tolerance for me to be anywhere near anyone sexually and never considered I might become vulnerable to an emotional attachment with a man. I am at that other end of the scale. I could very well fall into an emotional relationship with a man and enjoy him sexually, too. My wife and I have come to make peace with this - but there is no affection or love or sex (certainly no sex for many years before this happened). It is easier to remain emotionally aloof but I do miss the connection that goes beyond a romp with someone on a Friday afternoon... I can't picture falling for a woman again. I don't want to move in with or share a marriage with anyone now - but I sure would love a companion. As much as I know there are plenty of sexually frustrated men out there who just want a quick release- and I am happy to supply the release valve - for me, ultimately, it is not enough. I think if you can hang on to your marriage and you know you are loved and fulfilled emotionally with your partner, as you grow older -that is not a bad option. Sure, a sexually fulfilling relationship would be a great thing, too. But, loneliness is a killer.

[KDaddy23]

Sometimes, the thing that worries wives isn't the sexual thing - it's the emotional thing. Don't know how many times I've heard women talking about this and their biggest concern is that their guy is going to leave them for another man or get seriously emotionally involved with a guy and, having had this conversation too many times in my life, I have learned that you can present them with the most logical, concise, and eloquent discussion for why you want to have sex with a man - and since she's not going to anymore - and... many do not really understand and, I think, that's because they're thinking about themselves more than they are about your need for sex, even in this form. It just isn't easy to explain to them that, look, honey, I love you and I always will and I'm not even thinking about leaving you... but I need to do this and I'm not even thinking about finding another woman to "replace you;" I just want to be with a guy, have sex, then that's about all there is to it.

I have seen women turn this conversation about you into it being all about her - you hate her, never loved her, all kinds of crazy shit and I think that any guy who's had this very disturbing conversation with their wife tends to decide to just go ahead and do what they gotta do without her permission because, usually, no matter how well you make your argument, getting permission is going to be denied. But now that the cat is out of the bag, any time you're not where she can see you, she's going to be thinking about you running around behind her back and having sex with "everyone."

Some guys do defer to her feelings and... they do nothing other than continuing to suffer from not being able to have sex and maybe spending a lot of time masturbating but we all know that there's only so much of this one can do before it doesn't do anything to take the edge off of things.

[Fiddlestyx]

Sometimes, the thing that worries wives isn't the sexual thing - it's the emotional thing. Don't know how many times I've heard women talking about this and their biggest concern is that their guy is going to leave them for another man or get seriously emotionally involved with a guy and, having had this conversation too many times in my life, I have learned that you can present them with the most logical, concise, and eloquent discussion for why you want to have sex with a man - and since she's not going to anymore - and... many do not really understand and, I think, that's because they're thinking about themselves more than they are about your need for sex, even in this form. It just isn't easy to explain to them that, look, honey, I love you and I always will and I'm not even thinking about leaving you... but I need to do this and I'm not even thinking about finding another woman to "replace you;" I just want to be with a guy, have sex, then that's about all there is to it.

I have seen women turn this conversation about you into it being all about her - you hate her, never loved her, all kinds of crazy shit and I think that any guy who's had this very disturbing conversation with their wife tends to decide to just go ahead and do what they gotta do without her permission because, usually, no matter how well you make your argument, getting permission is going to be denied. But now that the cat is out of the bag, any time you're not where she can see you, she's going to be thinking about you running around behind her back and having sex with "everyone."

Some guys do defer to her feelings and... they do nothing other than continuing to suffer from not being able to have sex and maybe spending a lot of time masturbating but we all know that there's only so much of this one can do before it doesn't do anything to take the edge off of things.
Why so many men simply skip the discussion, especially when they know their partner well enough to know exactly how it will most likely go. Which baby is going to end up "thrown out with the bathwater"?

[KDaddy23]

Fiddlestyx, you asked some really good questions. Most guys will skip the discussion because they know how it's going to go and it's better to just go ahead and do it and to not listen to her vehemently being against it. Does one risk throwing the baby out with the bath water? Yes, but many men deem that in order to get the dick they want, it's worth the risk and it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask for a permission that they are very sure that they will never get. And I'll say that 99% of the time, they're right about this.

For us as men, being able to keep on having sex is a... survival thing. We risk both physical and emotional damage by being made celibate by someone who no longer wants to have sex with you and those of you who are suffering with this frustration knows what I'm talking about because, simply, they're not willing to risk the baby going down the drain. Some men just deal with this... and some ain't having any of it because, again, not having sex is a serious detriment. If she's not going to, who's supposed to? The answer is, "No one is..." and, well, that's a problem, isn't it? You can almost be assured that when she stops having sex with you, she's already thinking about what you're going to do - and hoping that you don't. And, yes, even if she is physically unable to any longer. She knows this and you know it, too, and what you're supposed to do is...never have sex again unless you throw the baby out by parting ways with her and, sometimes, that's not an ideal thing to do.

And for many, it's about begging forgiveness should her biggest fears are proven true - you went out and had sex with someone else and you weren't supposed to.

[Fiddlestyx]

Fiddlestyx, you asked some really good questions. Most guys will skip the discussion because they know how it's going to go and it's better to just go ahead and do it and to not listen to her vehemently being against it. Does one risk throwing the baby out with the bath water? Yes, but many men deem that in order to get the dick they want, it's worth the risk and it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask for a permission that they are very sure that they will never get. And I'll say that 99% of the time, they're right about this.

For us as men, being able to keep on having sex is a... survival thing. We risk both physical and emotional damage by being made celibate by someone who no longer wants to have sex with you and those of you who are suffering with this frustration knows what I'm talking about because, simply, they're not willing to risk the baby going down the drain. Some men just deal with this... and some ain't having any of it because, again, not having sex is a serious detriment. If she's not going to, who's supposed to? The answer is, "No one is..." and, well, that's a problem, isn't it? You can almost be assured that when she stops having sex with you, she's already thinking about what you're going to do - and hoping that you don't. And, yes, even if she is physically unable to any longer. She knows this and you know it, too, and what you're supposed to do is...never have sex again unless you throw the baby out by parting ways with her and, sometimes, that's not an ideal thing to do.

And for many, it's about begging forgiveness should her biggest fears are proven true - you went out and had sex with someone else and you weren't supposed to.
Trying really hard to put yourself into the other person's mindset can help to a degree, but it can also make things more difficult to accept as well. For example - if I were suddenly in a position of being unable to have sex any more but my wife was still interested I'd move heaven and earth to give her pleasure. Why? Because pleasuring a woman has always been a huge part of my enjoyment in sex. Taking her on that trip and pushing her over that abyss has always been what got my fires really burning. It isn't strictly a biological urge, though clearly that is part of the equation. From discussions over the years it seems many women don't share that viewpoint when the situation is reversed. Therein lies the rub in many cases - certainly in mine I am sure. When that biological urge flees too far away the fact that a woman might still be capable of receiving pleasure just doesn't seem to matter somehow. That they stop being concerned with how it all affects their partner is where the problem lies.

Back in times gone by the idea of a man having a mistress was more commonly accepted. Many wives seem to have accepted or even welcomed a situation that took the sexual pressure off them, especially remembering the dangers involved in frequent pregnancy and shortage of effective birth control.

[phalluster]

Fiddlestyx - thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts. Many of us are in a similar place. In my case some have advised to have a frank discussion with my wife about my need for more sex than she enjoys giving, and asking her permission/acquiescence to me masturbating in between our sexual encounters. So the advice I seek is - do I just continue masturbating behind her back, or risk having this discussion? If we have that discussion, should I be honest about the fact that I masturbate to gay porn, or leave that between me and my dick?

[KDaddy23]

Putting yourself in her place. How would you feel if she was constantly begging or demanding sex from you but you weren't able to? One of the questions my wife and I asked each other - and answered was, "If we couldn't have sex with each other anymore, do we allow someone to take a lover or just leave sex alone?" The answer was, "You can have a lover because it's not fair that just because something happens that we can't have sex and leaves the other hanging out to dry." I've heard some answer this question by saying that the marriage/relationship is over or if taking on a lover is suggested, well, you'd better not.

What to do, what to do. You could keep on spanking the monkey and not risk drawing her ire by having this discussion with her. You could admit that you masturbate to porn, might be "risky" to say it's gay porn but that might set her off. There's just no easy way to have this discussion but, at the same time, not having it isn't easy. I mean, how does she feel about you jerking off? Some wives are indifferent, some believe that you should never have to - but that assumes that she's going to have sex with you and as far as this one goes, a lot of women don't know a lot about men in that we can be getting pussy for days... and we'll still jerk off. I've heard women lose their minds over their man jerking off - but she's not gonna have sex with him and if he watching porn, well, now they're even more offended.

The bottom line is you know this woman. The whole problem about telling her what's going on with you isn't talking about it - it's you trying to figure out how she's going to react to it and then what she's going to do about what you've honestly told her. I wouldn't tell you what to do. You can tell her that you jerk off to porn and keep on doing it even if she gets upset about it or you can avoid all of this by being on the DL with... your own dick. My very personal question to you is.. why do you need permission to masturbate?

[purely4fun]

I recently discovered sucking cock and found I love it. Though I'm happily married and actually have a good sex life at home, there's something about a married guy unloading in my mouth that just drives me crazy. I love feeling them cum and then swallowing their sperm. So much so, that I actually prefer blow and go's. I suck them, they cum, I swallow, and everyone leaves happy. The challenge is, the more I do it, the more I want to do it.

[CockHummer]

I'm just coming down from a weed high, which is unusual for me. I typed this up while I was stoned, for the most part, and I think that is obvious. The thing is, I think parts of it are really funny and fun, so I didn't want to see the effort wasted, but just in case you read through a couple of paragraphs and disagree, next to nothing tickles your funny bone or at points stirs your cock a little, or you can't even get there and you find yourself saying, "What the fuck?" or you just want to skip it, before you do that, kindly consider just the following, which was the aim of all the words tossed together in the letter soup below: Let me know how you go about finding men in troubled marriages like this and making known to them that you want to help them and how you are going to do it. If I can help troubled couples by sucking the husband's cock, lead me to it. I mean, what you have suggested has wakened me to an idea that I never thought of before, that seems perfect for my erotic needs as well as their troubles. If I can make somebody else's life better by sucking cock! It's free. It's enjoyable. It's elating for those of us who crave cock. Who'd a thunk it? I feel enlightened! Thank you.

I don't know why I never saw this thread before as we're approaching half a year since you put it up. I imagine you may wish I never saw it, once you see my response (or if). Sorry for the delayed response and if the answer to my question is hidden in there somewhere, but I've missed it. You wrote a lot!

Yeah. Look who's talking. OMG. I look at this after I have completed it, and I must groan. Let me say up front, as I will several times again, I am in a state of mind at the moment where I could not possibly keep on track (I say, as if that were not self-evident), but I do have a very serious interest in what you described and in how to help these pour men deal with life stress, as well, most importantly to me in my current self-centered state of mind, how I could arrange to help, induce, urge, threaten, or pay them to come and let me ease their stress specifically by utilizing the vacuum capacity of my mouth, via way of their cock, a wonderful organ clearly meant to be sucked with erotic gusto, in order to evacuate semen from their testicles and guzzle it hungrily down into my stomach? and I have a question (well, I just asked the question here as I thought I neared the end of this paragraph before I said I was going to do it and then couldn't stop adding more shit to it. (well, I did one before the other in time and the other before the other in space, because I am fucked in the head right now, when what I most want is to get fucked in the mouth), which I will word in several ways and put at the end of several of the paragraphs (No, not my remark about wanting to get fucked in the mouth, but the issue of most importance to me and to you, as you have presented, and in regard to which I am here asking your assistance (before I get off track again, let me abbreviate it in all caps.) I trust you will get the meaning; kindly try to hold onto this idea before it falls overboard). HOW DO I FIND THESE TROUBLED MARRIED MEN WHOSE WOES I CAN ALLEVIATE BEST BY APPEASING MY OWN HOMOSEXUAL EROTIC DESIRES? (I think that wording is correct; homoerotic would mean I want to have sex with myself, I imagine, but as much as I would like to, I haven't been able to get my mouth around my cock since I was a teen and very supple. WHAT THE FUCK COULD BE MORE PERFECT THAN THAT (OH, I'M BACK TO SUCKING OFF MEN IN TROUBLED MARRIAGES, NOT MYSELF)????? (and yes, alright, I do want to get fucked in the mouth). I am quite serious in this (and that). I feel like a light has been shown on a part of human sexuality that I never saw before. There are troubled marriages all over the place, and I can potentially help make them better by sucking cock!!!! I am going to bed tonight a happy man. I will ask that very question several times here, redundantly and unnecessarily, mostly using different words, but just because I'm too fucked up to trust you will get the most important part of the message (help me find cocks to suck and swallow and deep throat and stroke and lick, etc., attached to men in troubled marriages). Oh, how I love cum! Unless you are a grammarian and love logic puzzles that are in no way logical, no, you're not going to figure out how to put that all together just right. Just, again, advise me how to find married men who's poor excuses for wives result in their desperate need to have men who enjoy sucking cock, like me, sucking them off whenever they want. That's the important part. They come and put their cock in my mouth whenever they want, and I just do what comes natural to me. My god, that sounds so fucking hot, and my pants are soaking wet. Are we still on planet Earth? My address will be etched on their brains. There will be signs: RIGHT THIS WAY-->, and my mouth will be open waiting for them (time for a Sousa march).

I would love to suck off frustrated married men, and I'd be happy if they came my way in droves--hitch 'em up, cowboy (I was just yesterday reminded of the occasions when typically a horny young woman will send up smoke signals making known that on a particular day between such and such hours, any guy who wants to get sucked off, can come to her house with patience, and she gets off sucking off dozens of, in this case, young guys, before the day is done. That has been an "I want to be her" fantasy for me--Oh, I recall what reminded me just yesterday. I might have been on Quora, but this young guy came on and described how he'd been in a circle jerk with a bunch of other guys--the way he described it, like a bunch of husky, manly fellows I wouldn't have pictured readily taking part, at least not all of them! but...a bunch of them are out in the woods jerking each other off; all of a sudden, this guy decided to just get up on his feet, walk over to one of the others, drop to his knees in front of him, and suck him off, which the fellow took advantage of readily. Then, like a half dozen of them lined up for him in a row, and he sucked them off hungrily, one by one, in turn. Sounded like he'd never sucked a cock before. Maybe it was a porn watching thing that did him in and got him thinking about seeing his buddies eye-to-cock rather than eye-to-eye. He said it was like magic, though, and I can believe it from the sound of it and how it made me feel just to read it. Line up boys, right here. Zippers down. Pull it out and start stroking!

I'm at an age, though, where the young kid thing wouldn't work out, but I'm suddenly in this absurdly cock hungry place, where I just want to know how to get cocks in my mouth. There must be plenty of frustrated, married men all around me (I mean doesn't frustration fall in the definition of marriage somewhere, anyway?), and just the idea of doing what needs to be done to lessen their frustration has me hot. My big problem was and is that I've always had this thing about faithfulness, and I let it keep me from sucking cocks for way too long while I was married. (and methinks I suddenly want to make up for all the lost opportunities). Now, I've come to think, and I hope I am not just rationalizing here, that if two people are married and they can keep it working out even when the husband is getting sucked off by another guy, Hey, who can complain about that? No. No. No. JK. JK.* I think if the frustrated guys are responsible caring adults, they do it carefully and responsibly to minimize the risk of hurting their wife (unless they're pissed at her and want to make her watch me suck them--I'm okay with that (JK*)), and especially if she doesn't want to fuck, anyway, (now I'm feeling sorry for him, and I already feel sorry for me--"Come get your cock in my mouth, alfuckingready!, and in helping him relax, me sucking him off eases tensions in the marriage, and in total they're happier together, two people of the three are getting our rocks off (husband and I), and the one who craves cock (!!!!!!ME!!!!!!) is getting cock, now where can that go wrong? The ME should have been I, but we fuck that up in American English all the time, anyway, and the I would have gotten lost among all those exclamation points. What the fuck would that have meant? *JK = just kidding

Sorry for the jocular tone. I am quite serious but just a little bit stoned. I realize you wrote very seriously, and I don't mean to diminish what you are saying at all. It strikes me you're right. If there are married guys who cannot get attention and will accept it from other guys who are already aching for a mouthful of cock, getting them together would be wonderful (As I say while I sit here with a hardon, imagining myself sucking off a guy I picture in my head at the moment who I just realize looks exactly like one of my long gone great uncles, whom I never recognized I had an eye on, or maybe it was just accidental. I don't know, but now that I see it, he looks pretty hot. I'm probably now the age he was when I last saw him alive, and look where I've gotten myself to! Adultery, prostitution, would-be incest, and necrophilia. It's a good thing there ain't a damned thing wrong with homosexuality/bisexuality with all of that on the pile already!

Okay, Okay, Okay. Again. I'm doing better this time. I'm not going to bury it and have my query become lost in too many words, and I quite seriously want to know, despite the Bozo I may have now made myself appear to be: (I'm not yelling, just excited: I am truly excited and my pants are soaked with precum!) HOW ON EARTH DO I FIND FRUSTRATED MARRIED MEN THAT I CAN HELP TO ALLEVIATE THEIR STRESS AND IMPROVE THEIR LIFE STATE OTHERWISE, BY REMOVING SEMEN FROM WITHIN THEIR BODY, THROUGH THEIR COCK, INTO MY MOUTH, WITH ALL THE ESSENTIAL AND ENJOYABLE WORK THAT THAT ENTAILS?

Or, as one final attempt: the main thing I hope you can tell me is how you find frustrated married men and lead them to line up at your door with an impatient hand on their zipper (or their cock already out)?

Now I am exhausted and must go look at some Futanari Fakes by Azriel on ImageFAP for an hour. Check them out if you have not. He or she (Azriel) creates some surprisingly convincing ones. And then I must work on a practically gay (like I said above, I am really craving cock right now and hoping sorrily to make up for lost time), bisexual porn short story I'm working on that is already 40 pages long, and I've hardly gotten started. It's sort of written from a cock sucking guy's point of view (mine), so unlike women and the romance porn they often go for, I'm not exactly sure guys, just being guys, are going to want to read a 300 page novel on a fellow who never bothered to tell his wife, who he sort of likes to fuck and gets along with okay, until she learns that he's practically gay, that his nickname in college was BJ and he sucked off his roommate a couple hundred times at least while they were at school together, and he always came extraordinarily harder after sex with him or just after masturbating fantasizing about him than he does with her--and she's a doll! Oh, but he's a doll, too. I know. I can waste a lot of time. But it's full of jokes! And the descriptions of sex (all between him and his former roommate, as memories of actual experience during their shared school days, as jerk off fantasies he creates while that former roommate as a young adult has moved across the country, and after that said same male object of his desires moves back East, and the wife invites him to come over for a celebration of her husbands birthday, and she comes out from having gone to the bathroom to take a piss only to find the two of them stark naked and fucking right next to the birthday cake, oh, but to get back where I started and make clear where this was going, the descriptions of sex between the two boys in all those contexts is very complete, probably titillating the first time its read, and then almost exactly the same every time. Well, isn't that the nature of sex. You've just gotta figure out what you like, and then do that. I'm hungry for cock right now. You take it in your mouth and kiss it and lick it and squeeze it and rub it and suck it and swallow it and stroke it, and do it all over and over again, giving it a break occasionally to kiss, lick, gently rub, and suck his balls up into your mouth and depending on how you both feel about it, occasionally sticking a finger, or a cigar tube, or a small sex toy or a dildo or your fucking rock-hard cock up his ass. And you look him in the eye and make sure he understands how much you love his perfect cock, and you beg him to come in your mouth, and you tell him over and over that you can't wait until he comes in your mouth, and you do every last damn thing you can think of to get him to come in your mouth, and then you feel his cock swell, and you see it start to throb, and you hear him start to make funny noises (or not), and you know what's about to happen, so you quickly slide your mouth down over the full length of it, and it's half way down your esophagus, because he's surely 9+ inches long. And the next thing you know, your sucking down torrential gulps of wonderful, slightly sweet, slightly salty cum, and they just keep coming, and you think your in erotic heaven, and then it's all over until the next time, which is at least one refractory period of (most likely) the older one of the two away. Despite all of that, I am desperately cock hungry. I love cock. I need cock. I want to suck cock. I want cum. I want cum in my mouth. I worship cock. Oh, wait. It seems I've gotten stuck in a homosexual cock sucking hypnosis video. Ya gotta luv 'em.

Oh, again, shit!!!!!!!! Why is our president trying to make this marijuana shit legal? It was supposed to help me sleep, and now I don't know if I'll ever get to sleep again. I just can't stop thinking about sucking cock. I'm on Quora reading everything I can find on guys sucking dicks. I'm on porn channels looking at dicks. I'm on here reading gobs of threads from guys who like sex with MEN and women, but there's sure a lot more stuff about sucking cock and bottoming for guys than there is about sex with women, and I can understand that. JK again. It's like a sickness. But how on earth can I suck cock if I'm so sleep deprived I can't keep my mouth open? and...(just one last time, and I'm going to bed. Fuck Azriel.):

HOW ON EARTH DO I FIND FRUSTRATED MARRIED MEN THAT I CAN HELP TO ALLEVIATE THEIR STRESS AND IMPROVE THEIR LIFE STATUS OTHERWISE, BY JOYOUSLY EVACUATING SEMEN FROM WITHIN THEIR BODY, THROUGH THEIR COCK, INTO MY MOUTH, WITH ALL THE ESSENTIAL AND ENJOYABLE WORK, PRIMARILY FOCUSED ON ONE DAMN GORGEOUS EROTIC ORGAN THAT MEN HAVE AND WOMEN DO NOT, THAT THAT ENTAILS (and in so doing, very likely put their wives out of their misery, so that everyone benefits, BUT ME THE MOST )? I am in this regard perfectly serious. Believe it or not as you will.

Now I desperately want to suck off men who have troubled marriages. It sounds like just what I need. I can't believe it. I'm pretty lonely and very cock hungry, if that is not obvious, and I could befriend numerous men who would likely end up anxious to come and see me fairly frequently to allow me to perform my favorite erotic activity on them. I am spellbound. And as I snuck in there, sort of, we might become friends on top of it. And as I snuck in there, sort of, we might become friends on top of it. Thank you so much for presenting this for consideration and please help, if it is at all something that can be generalizable, with a good answer or answers to my question(s).

Thanks, CH

[CockHummer]

Yes. Cock sucking can and often does become an obsession. I mean, how could it not be? It's that good, as far as I'm concerned. If it could be arranged, I would just sit in a chair for two or three hours once a week and have lines of men brought in front of me, for me to suck them off one by one and eat their cum. Just thinking of that and imagining how different but erotically beautiful they might all be. I know it's probably a stupid thing to say, but I don't understand how any men can be truly straight if they are open minded and have not been raised browbeaten to see that homosexual behavior as somehow evil. A cock just invites you to suck it, and it is so hot and enjoyable to do, the shape, the colors, and the texture, and then you get that rush of cum on top of that pleasure. I know it's perfectly okay, but if I let myself pretend it's somehow nasty or naughty, it charges it up a little, not to say it needs any charging up, at all. Enjoy those cocks and just be careful not to hurt your wife.

[phalluster]

My very personal question to you is.. why do you need permission to masturbate?
Excellent question KDaddy. I don't think I do since I masturbate all the time and have not asked for permission. But there is the tacit belief (which I think is very common in marriages) that I should only be getting sexual pleasure from her. She was raised in a very traditional home in the Leave it to Beaver era and a lot of that way of thinking is in her brain. We do have sex and when we do it is good, but what is enough for her is not enough for me. I think she knows that I masturbate (she has caught me a couple of times) and it is one of those things we just don't talk about. What I really want is not just her permission or acceptance but her embrace of the fact that I love her, and I love my dick. After that would be loving other dicks but that, I think, would be asking too much.

[KDaddy23]

@phalluster, yeah, I know what you mean; I was born in that era and I know the mindset all too well and have had the "you don't need to do that" conversation along with the "what am I supposed to do when I want more sex and you don't" one and, nope, talking about it just wasn't done. As far as the "real permission," that could be a minefield (and tends to be); one the one hand, you want to talk to her about this but on the other, yeah, nah, that's okay. But...

[Rest85]

I consider myself a dedicated cocksucker and always have. I have never needed or desired reciprocation. As a result of this I am always up-front with guys and tell them that I really just want to be a "service provider" for them. Over the years I have found that married men are by far the ones who most want to take advantage of what I offer and frustrated married men are always my most regular feeders.

When I place ads, I state that I am looking for a married guy who isn't getting everything he needs at home. When someone contacts me, I clarify that I am a no recip guy....that's what turns me on. I want to be sure going in that I am to be used with no expectations or desire for the favor to be returned. I'm sub and I like being sub.

[Warren63]

Was sexually frustrated at home, but after hormone replacement sex at home is good. But the frustration built up over the seven years prior to the hormones, make me wish I had gone further in experimenting with a buddy in my youth. Wondering what I missed out on. I wanted to suck him off so much ,but was afraid. I think if I had the nerve to do it ,it would have led to him fucking me. And I think I would have been his pussy till we got lucky with girls. I would've been happy to swing both ways . My wife knows I want sex with a man, and she says she would love to see a man fuck and cum in me. Keep hoping.

[jimkimball]

I am , I enjoy sex with my wife but I enjoy sucking a nice cock now and again too and it's been awhile and I need some but it's hard to find out where I live .
I like 8" or bigger ,I was finding that while working in the city but I haven't work in over a year due to health and my wife is always around as well .

[MissRina]

You are the sweetest giver, thinking of another's needs like that.

I will say not all men seek that cause they ain't getting it at home, for some it's just an add on.

On the other side of that is wives like me who get turned on seeing hubby get sucked and him sucking and fucking others .
Loads and loads of fun, currently wish to have a service sub as wonderful as you to service him with me, maybe someday I will find one that matches our hypersexuality and depth of freakiness.

Keep helping out those married men to relieve thier frustrations, you are doing wonderful giving. 🙂

[papasmurph]

It's going on a month now since I first placed my ad on Double List. This target group has worked for me. I have received some good connections from it - some of these guys seemed to respond and followed through quite well. My time is limited so there are drawbacks - overall, though, I've enjoyed this. The interesting thing these men have had in common - not one of them has bad-mouthed his wife - he simply doesn't understand why she lost interest in him which ultimately is a blow to him, his ego, which we all know is important and hurts a man. Not one of these men has been arrogant or pushy or full of themselves - if anything, they've been a bit shy at first, a bit humble and seem appreciative of what I offer.
I've enjoyed an increase in variety from the men who stand or sit before me and drop their pants - and trust me to take care of them. It's really pretty terrific.

[KDaddy23]

When you find your niche and that one thing that works, it's pretty sweet. There are so many SFMs out there who are looking for something as "simple" as a blowjob to wanting to plow a guy's south forty and it seems that if you target your message "right at" these guys, yeah, you at least get their attention and, hopefully, more than just their attention!

[averagejoe33]

I can relate as I have been married to a beautiful woman for 32 years, but due to a lot of recent drama in her life we stopped haveing sex a little over 6 years ago. I have decided to get back to my bi side so if anyone in the Phoenix area would like to play, male or female, I would enjoy either. I've been told that I'm a good cocksucker and a Great pussy eater. Looking for someone interested in NSA fun. Thanks.

[Tight1-4u]

I love my guy’s and love giving them what they want and need.. they all are good guy’s.. in all the years I have been servicing these guy’s I have met only a very few that weren’t very sweet guy’s.. there have been a couple that it was not hard to figure out why they weren’t getting it at home but only a couple.. keep at it.. these guys need al the help ( pussy ) we can give them.. lol!!

[papasmurph]

I have an observation on these new visitors/friends I've made in this past month: Each one of them comes in, and we settle in. Inevitably, the first timers would motion to my couch and ask if this was where we were gonna... and then they would drop their pants and sit down. I just sort of accepted this as the way it is, but I got thinking and wondered - what? Not one of them gave me the chance to make them feel comfortable - maybe a hand on their chest and the other hand on their crotch... and then tug at his belt and zipper...
Nope - just came in. sat down and got what they came for.

What do you think of that?

[KDaddy23]

I think there's nothing usual or even wrong with that since a lot of guys just want to get off and go on about the rest of their day. I get that you're a lot more... amorous than that and that's fine but, yeah, some guys just ain't feeling that part of things and I wouldn't worry about it. I personally think that even if they behave like this, it's still a win for you because you got to suck them off and I know that you understand that there will be guys who wouldn't mind being more amorous - and if they have the time an/or inclination to be.

Take the win and learn from these situations about men and yourself, too. It's like I sometimes have to remind my protege: You can't expect a guy to want to do what you want to do; he has his own idea of how things are supposed to go but the other guy has his own idea, too. So if he just comes in and wants to get right to it without preamble, okay and more so since he's gonna let you do what you want to do to him in the first place. Win/win even if it's not "winning" the way you really want to and if he's okay with his level of comfort, it is what it is.

[papasmurph]

I think there's nothing usual or even wrong with that since a lot of guys just want to get off and go on about the rest of their day. I get that you're a lot more... amorous than that and that's fine but, yeah, some guys just ain't feeling that part of things and I wouldn't worry about it. I personally think that even if they behave like this, it's still a win for you because you got to suck them off and I know that you understand that there will be guys who wouldn't mind being more amorous - and if they have the time an/or inclination to be.

Take the win and learn from these situations about men and yourself, too. It's like I sometimes have to remind my protege: You can't expect a guy to want to do what you want to do; he has his own idea of how things are supposed to go but the other guy has his own idea, too. So if he just comes in and wants to get right to it without preamble, okay and more so since he's gonna let you do what you want to do to him in the first place. Win/win even if it's not "winning" the way you really want to and if he's okay with his level of comfort, it is what it is.
@KDaddy23 thanks for that... definitely a good and true assessment. I actually hadn't thought much of it until today = kinda ran them through my head - seemed like a common theme. these guys are nervous - they are coming into an unfamiliar setting - both the house and the guy and the circumstances - so for them to know I will follow their lead - which I made clear before they arrived - You are rigtht also to know that if he made more moves, I would be receptive to it.

[wifekinky4husband]

On the other side of that is wives like me who get turned on seeing hubby get sucked and him sucking and fucking others .
Loads and loads of fun, currently wish to have a service sub as wonderful as you to service him with me, maybe someday I will find one that matches our hypersexuality and depth of freakiness.

100% agree!!! You go gal!

[wifekinky4husband]

If my wife said she was done having sex and therefore so was I, without any discussion or consideration. That's some passive aggressive manipulative BS that I would not put up with.
Luckily my wife is thoughtful and considerate.

Excellent! Keep that wifey pleased!

[wifekinky4husband]

others seem to think "he's a senior citizen and still wants sex? - dirty old man!"
There are idiots on all levels of existence!


I like what I have and she still turns me on in spite of her efforts to avoid doing so.
Makes no sense to me, as a wife who went through a time of lost interest I still always made certain my husband knew I loved him and understood that he needed sex but only after counseling. We talked extensively about it all my issues and his after seeking help. Even though I wasn't available physically I got that it is part of marriage and him being a sexual person. We purchased more sex toys and devices during this period than any other. I encouraged him to play. At this time we were monogamous and there are plenty of things that can be done. We are married for crying out loud we are still partners in all of it.


What amazes me is how a woman like my wife can go from having wildfires in her loins to complete zero over such a short period. In my wife's case I understand a bit as she's always been a bit of a *VERY* responsive "pillow princess". She loved intercourse and was pretty active during it, but giving oral or anything else directly involving a cock was never really her thing. So when she lost the part of sex she enjoyed most (by far) I can understand how she'd lose enthusiasm.
For me it during this time, it's like someone reached in my head and flipped the switch off.


Having said that, I'm guessing she just figures I'll "take matters in hand" and deal with my sexual frustrations that way. She's never inquired... we talk about sex once in a long while and she agrees we should do something, but then when suggestions are made is never interested even though it has had a hugely beneficial effect on our relationship in general when we did have even just some oral fun. How she really justifies the situation to herself I am never quite sure.
I call it brain/heart blind. I didn't process it at first. I was in my own stupor/funk my husband sat me down to tell me how bad it truly was. He didn't want to be inconsiderate but he also needed to be upfront with me. He told me he was having difficulties saying no to women wanting sex because of his desire for sex. He convinced me to go to counseling, we did. It help us both better understand what I was going through so I could learn to process it all. Then we went to a sex therapist who understood the grief process and the effects it has on marriage, especially sexually. That is what I was talking about earlier, we added sex devices to help. We set up sex system, room, etc. to help my husband while I walked through my sorrow.


I've pondered the possibility of finding a M/F bi couple, but none I've encountered have any interest in a solo married male. I suppose one can dream... I deeply miss a woman's body and the pheromones. If I could have both and no worries of the woman latching onto me?
I agree this would be a good setting but my husband and I would never consider it unless your wife knew all about it and was on board with it. You truly need to discuss how desperate you feel. It worked for me. My husband was in such a state, had he not flat out told me ? I need sex. I'm married, I need married sex. I am not a monk and I do not want to be alone in this, I need sex that is not lonely.


As to what puts the notion of having sex with another man into the head of someone who has no prior interest? Well, it isn't the 50s any more. Guys read Penthouse Letters and probably got a little titillated.. seeds were planted (so to speak). Desperation breeds desperate solutions. I completely understand not wanting to drag another woman into the frame and for many reasons.
I agree. I would much rather my husband say, ?If you will no longer F me can I with a man?? Than say that about another woman.


I've discussed things with him and while he thinks I'm nuts to still be interested in women (he wishes his wife would lose interest!)
That is sad, very, very sad.


As I mentioned in another thread, my VERY recent discovery that I am anally orgasmic (where has that been hiding for five decades?) perhaps kinda throws a new light on things. We got together this morning and he while couldn't get hard enough to penetrate me (he's in his mid-70s) he used my toy on me and OMG, OMG, OMG... the orgasm started almost immediately, went on and on and was so intense I scarcely noticed when I actually physically came (in his mouth).
So many married men have no idea. It took a long time to convince my husband of this and even longer that the real deal taking you and cumming in you anally would blow your mind even more. No joke, we wives all know that in our group, my husband is the best lay of us all. He totally gets it now.


He has a few younger buddies he plays with and today was kinda showing me pics of them suggestively. Not sure I want to go there, either!
Not certain I am following you on this. We probably should discuss this on a side note. I am missing something here and also seeing something I want to point out but do not wish to distract from my main responses here.


So it is a "rock and hard place" situation, one where it seems I won't end up with what I really want most no matter what I do.

In a little PS - there is a married Hindu Indian lady whose husband gave up sex very early with whom I had a very brief FWB fling before I met my wife. We've remained friends over the years and lately she's been sorta begging if please, please we could start having sex again. I'm not wildly attracted to her, but... *sigh*
I cannot say it loud enough, you need to talk with your wife and work all of this out, somehow. I am my husband's best friend and vice versa, we are going to talk it out, work it out, there is always a way. Sometimes we need help. So many example in our life I could give but I could never handle losing my best friend because I wasn't doing my very best to help him/us.

[wifekinky4husband]

Excellent question KDaddy. I don't think I do since I masturbate all the time and have not asked for permission. But there is the tacit belief (which I think is very common in marriages) that I should only be getting sexual pleasure from her. She was raised in a very traditional home in the Leave it to Beaver era and a lot of that way of thinking is in her brain. We do have sex and when we do it is good, but what is enough for her is not enough for me. I think she knows that I masturbate (she has caught me a couple of times) and it is one of those things we just don't talk about. What I really want is not just her permission or acceptance but her embrace of the fact that I love her, and I love my dick. After that would be loving other dicks but that, I think, would be asking too much.

I am laughing my butt off. This is so true. I only know guys how love their dicks. I know there are some out there who might not but everyone guy I have even met loves their dick! I love it them too! Couples need to learn to talk, to communicate about EVERYTHING! My husband told me before we married, he loves his dick, seeing it, touching it, playing with it, jerking off lots and lots, when he told me how much he masturbated I asked him how he had anything left for me? He said for me to spend a 3-day weekend with him and find out. That was the weekend I ate more cum from one man than ever in my life. It?d take half dozen guys prior to that. Plus he pounded the dickens out of me all weekend. I was sold. No worries.

Sit her down and tell her. You want to open up to her in all areas of your life. You want to grow even closer to her with her, share all of your life with her. You need more sex than she does, you want more, you want her to be a part of more. Then ask her if she has any suggestions on how to go about it, anything goes. If she is like most, she will not have anything; you will need to list out conservative ideas working into more creative. My husband did this with me. We still play this way as well as how we have progressed. I wouldn?t mention the other dicks, maybe one day but not now. It took my husband years to except that and long road of preparation and I was okay with it never happening.

[wifekinky4husband]

I recently discovered sucking cock and found I love it. Though I'm happily married and actually have a good sex life at home, there's something about a married guy unloading in my mouth that just drives me crazy. I love feeling them cum and then swallowing their sperm. So much so, that I actually prefer blow and go's. I suck them, they cum, I swallow, and everyone leaves happy. The challenge is, the more I do it, the more I want to do it.

Yes it is VERY addicting. What I still do not get is why so many wives never get that addiction? I did and never lost it over all. I know I had a brief stint with another issue that caused me to check out but once I checked back in my desire came back with a vengeance. So much so I love to compete with my husband for it. :)

Any thoughts on that anyone? Why so many wives don't get addicted and so many men do? We now have 10 couples and all of our women enjoy it but 6 of us are addicted to it. All of the men are now except the 2 new ones who have yet to give in to it.

[wifekinky4husband]

Yes. Cock sucking can and often does become an obsession. I mean, how could it not be? It's that good, as far as I'm concerned. If it could be arranged, I would just sit in a chair for two or three hours once a week and have lines of men brought in front of me, for me to suck them off one by one and eat their cum. Just thinking of that and imagining how different but erotically beautiful they might all be. I know it's probably a stupid thing to say, but I don't understand how any men can be truly straight if they are open minded and have not been raised browbeaten to see that homosexual behavior as somehow evil. A cock just invites you to suck it, and it is so hot and enjoyable to do, the shape, the colors, and the texture, and then you get that rush of cum on top of that pleasure. I know it's perfectly okay, but if I let myself pretend it's somehow nasty or naughty, it charges it up a little, not to say it needs any charging up, at all. Enjoy those cocks and just be careful not to hurt your wife.

I am now on a mission. I will shock many but darn. I am so curious. "I mean, how could it not be? It's that good, as far as I'm concerned." Why more women do not feel this way over all? I'll begin with my group and branch out from there.

[wifekinky4husband]

Trying really hard to put yourself into the other person's mindset can help to a degree, but it can also make things more difficult to accept as well. For example - if I were suddenly in a position of being unable to have sex any more but my wife was still interested I'd move heaven and earth to give her pleasure. Why? Because pleasuring a woman has always been a huge part of my enjoyment in sex. Taking her on that trip and pushing her over that abyss has always been what got my fires really burning. It isn't strictly a biological urge, though clearly that is part of the equation. From discussions over the years it seems many women don't share that viewpoint when the situation is reversed. Therein lies the rub in many cases - certainly in mine I am sure. When that biological urge flees too far away the fact that a woman might still be capable of receiving pleasure just doesn't seem to matter somehow. That they stop being concerned with how it all affects their partner is where the problem lies.

Back in times gone by the idea of a man having a mistress was more commonly accepted. Many wives seem to have accepted or even welcomed a situation that took the sexual pressure off them, especially remembering the dangers involved in frequent pregnancy and shortage of effective birth control.

Have you come to any solutions yet?

[KDaddy23]

I've had sex with a lot of women and a lot of them have sucked me but very few of them have sucked me to completion. Complaints have been from it taking too long to not acquiring the taste and many, I found, were traumatized by some guy saying, "I promise I won't cum in your mouth!" and then that happened. Quite a few women admitted to being selfish; one told me that if she sucked me off, she'd have to wait for me to get it back up again and... she wasn't waiting any longer than she had to. Another woman had told me that she'd spent almost all of her teenaged life with guys asking to be sucked off and she got tired of them begging to be sucked off so she stopped sucking guys - period. In casual encounters, some women told me that if we were in a committed relationship, they might suck me off. One woman who did suck me off confessed to doing it to... keep me from fucking her and getting her pregnant (but we had condoms for that part).

And a lot of the women I talked to about this says it's a chore and sometimes an unpleasant one since we tend to be... fragrant down there. Some have said that we're "too rough." In some of my experiences and at a time when women were seriously demanding to have their pussies eaten, if you didn't or couldn't eat her to her satisfaction, you wouldn't get sucked, let alone off. I found that if a woman is sucking you off in the beginning of a relationship, that's usually the first thing to go by the wayside as the relationship progresses, the sucking goes bye-bye, too. There are, of course, women who love doing it, who will always do it whether on their own or when asked but on the whole, women are weird about it but if they were to learn that someone else was sucking you off - and you're doing this because she refuses to - you're in deep doo-doo; you can't seem to explain to these women that if they were doing it, you wouldn't be looking for someone else to do it. I've sometimes thought that, particularly where a relationship is concerned, some women get to a "I've done all I'm gonna do" point in things and... that's all folks.

You can present an eloquent and logical argument for why you want and need her to do this - and especially if she'd been doing it - and she'll understand what you're saying but that doesn't mean that she's going to go back to doing something she clearly no longer wants to do and her reasons may or may not make sense.