Moving on!!

[kezza99]

I had been with a women for 3 and a half years, we had the best time together, I love her with all my heart and thought she was the one I was going to grow old with. We broke up earlier on this year cause she just stopped loving me, and although she's moved on and has found a new women, I just can't seem to get over her no matter how hard I try.

So my question to you is - what do you do to get over the one that you love so deeply??

:bibounce:

[justafriend]

I've heard it said that the best way to get over an old love is to get under a new one (or whichever position you like). :bigrin:

[Herbwoman39]

After I divorced my first husband, that's how I got over it. I slept with anything that moved. It really helped knowing that even though the schmuck I left didn't want to sleep with me anymore, OTHER people sure did! :bigrin:

[anne27]

I kinda did like Herbwoman, only with women. When my g/f and I broke up, I bedded several women, one right after another. I dunno if it actually helped me get over her, but it sure was fun. :tong:

[thebigtowns]

I'm afraid the answer is just time and growth.

The more you were in love, the harder it is to find something to help you "get over" that person. Instead, focusing on your own personal growth will be the best thing to help you move on.

Sure, most of us have gone on the serial bedding thing after a breakup, and have found while that can give us renewed sexual confidence, it doesn't really do anything to get over the love we felt for someone.

You know the old adage that people grow together in good relationships, and grow apart in bad ones? It can be applied to a lost love, too. Except your goal here is to grow apart, to explore things that are meaningful to you that have nothing to do with your old relationship.

Someday, suddenly, you realize that you have changed from the person you were before, or have come back into yourself more, and then this relationship will ebb for you.

Even better, that's when someone new who is a better match for the person you have now become will miraculously show up in your life. It happened to me after a years-long relationship that I thought I would never get over. Once I finally decided to spend my time working on my relationship with me, I met the most wonderful person I could ever hope to meet, and someone who was much better suited for the person that I am.

:2cents:

Hang in there!

Scott (of Amber and Scott)

[ambi53mm]

I'm afraid the answer is just time and growth.

The more you were in love, the harder it is to find something to help you "get over" that person. Instead, focusing on your own personal growth will be the best thing to help you move on.

Sure, most of us have gone on the serial bedding thing after a breakup, and have found while that can give us renewed sexual confidence, it doesn't really do anything to get over the love we felt for someone.

You know the old adage that people grow together in good relationships, and grow apart in bad ones? It can be applied to a lost love, too. Except your goal here is to grow apart, to explore things that are meaningful to you that have nothing to do with your old relationship.

Someday, suddenly, you realize that you have changed from the person you were before, or have come back into yourself more, and then this relationship will ebb for you.

Even better, that's when someone new who is a better match for the person you have now become will miraculously show up in your life. It happened to me after a years-long relationship that I thought I would never get over. Once I finally decided to spend my time working on my relationship with me, I met the most wonderful person I could ever hope to meet, and someone who was much better suited for the person that I am.

:2cents:

Hang in there!

Scott (of Amber and Scott)


Really some very good advice contained within Scott's post. Having gone through a very similar situation some time back I would agree that only time heals the wounds of the heart. Moving on is the only option, and usually when one door closes another one opens. I never lost faith that somewhere out there was the perfect someone for me. What was once a dream is now a reality....but I had to let go, move on, and take that leap of faith...to trust one more person....one more time. Safe Journey :)

Ambi :)

[kezza99]

Thanks for your advice guys, i'll take it all board.

[citrus]

One major problem that is everpresent for me is the tragedy of burnt bridges. I am from long while to another long while haunted with the knowing that even though my breakups were usually without trauma drama and/or suffering, I'm wondering what I'd do if she/he showed up in front of me with _ _ _ in his/her heart for me? Or, suppose my heart suddenly told me it is right to pursue her or him again. What would he/she do when I showed up with _ _ _ in my heart for him/her?
It's true, moving on is the only direction available to us. Our memories will feed us or destroy us.