bi bi my friends

[someone3]

I have resently come to terms and desided to tell some people close to me that I am BI, but I don't know how, what should I tell them. should I tell them at all.

I am afriad my mom will be apposed to it and I dan't know about my sisters, one says she is a liesbien but she might be lying. I don't want to lose any of my friends they have be with me through high school. most of them don't even know I do weed. and they would hate me for that.

I seem lost about this when I try to I just can't but to perfect strangers I can say it loud and proud.
in fact

(((((((((((((((((i am bisexual, and I love it!)))))))))))))))))

but to them I just as well be a mute.

can anyone give me some advice.

I need some sort of resolution. :(

[arana]

Is there any real reason that they need to know? Have they asked you if you are? My personal opinion (which doesn't mean it's right) is that this is a personal and private issue that is no one elses business unless they are in a committed relationship with you. You don't tell them who and what you do sexually on a normal basis do you?

Have fun being who you are.

[someone3]

you are right

thank you

/tears up/

you're right it doesn't matter what they think.

thank you.

btw LOVE THE AVATAR.

hello kitty! :love:

[chook]

In my opinion as long as you are comfortable within yourself it doesnt really matter who knows that you are bi but if you are going to get an adverse reaction from family and friends then its best not to tell them, otherwise they'll just sit in judgement. Out of all my friends only one knows about me and I tend to keep it that way and she only found out because she is bi herself and no one in her group of friends know about her. And anyway friends are friends and they dont need to know every step you take including smoking weed.

Just be proud of who you are :) and live life to the fullest.

Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[codybear3]

Hello Someone3...If you feel there is a need to disclose this information to anyone, then those who are your true friends will stand by you. Your mother will need more time to deal with if you think she will be appalled. As far as losing friends, so be it. But keep in mind that "coming out" will also get you new friends and you may be surprised at who some of these friends may be. In the end of your thread, you yell out "i am bisexual and I love it", so with that line, now follow your heart and do what you truly think is right. I pray that all works out for you.... :flag2:

[Bi-ten]

Hi there,

I think someone mentioned on this site that there are few people you really need to come out to besides your spouse (or gf/bf). I think these words are wise if you value your sanity.

However, selective outing can be beneficial in the right circles, it can get you more exposure to like-minded people who will understand and support you (this site is one example).

So choose wisely and continue to be proud!

Hugs,

Bi-ten :flag2:

[Bi-ten]

PS,

Take a look at the website I mentioned in my post 'A fun site'. I think you will like it.

Bi-ten

[jaytoppin]

This poses some interesting questions though. Is it a matter of 'need to know' with regard to your sexuality? I know I'm not telling anybody. Of course my wife knows and is happy to help me in anyway possible so I'd say your sex partner(s) need to know. But what about being true to yourself? How important is that to you? Do you NEED to hide this? What if they did find out or even asked you if what they heard was true or not, would you feel badly? Would you perk up and say, "sure it's true, I love being bi."

[CherryBlossom74]

Ok...you may be surprised at how few people will really care. They'll lump you into a "gay" category and treat you only slightly different I have found. But if they would frown on your weed use, well there I will side with them. Bisexuality cannot be lumped in with your drug use because bisexuality is not selfdestructive. SO it seems to me you are looking at your sexuality either as dangerous or as just something your friends would frown at. If it is the latter, you need to re-evalute your attitudes to both drugs(utter stupidity) and sexuality(the core of who you are).

But that's our :2cents:

[jo69guy]

When telling someone does more harm than good, what is the point? :2cents:

[Shiraz]

Until 1967, homosexuality was illegal in the UK. Nearly forty years on, attitudes have changed hugely. However, although much of those changes are the result of organised campaigning and Pride events by GLBT people, there is also the personal *grass roots* coming out of individuals to their family, friends and colleagues. Standing up and saying " I'm <insert sexuality> but I'm NOT less of a person than anyone else. Confronting the prejudices, in other words.

Coming Out is not an easy decision to make and no-one in the GLBT community should ever put pressure on someone to do it. My advice would be, to take your time and look around you at the people you know..not be worried about whether they will accept you, but whether they are worthy of YOU. The best people, the ones who love and care for you WILL accept you for you regardless. Those people may not necessarily be the people you believe to be the best, however !

You don't need to come out, to anyone but sexual partners. No one else has any right to know. But you may find in time, that you have the confidence to come out and that you want to walk tall without secrets, that you want to join in the GLBT community more fully.

But remember, there is no right or wrong, it's entirely and ONLY your decision.

[Sparks]

Before you love anyone else, be it family or a man or a woman; Love and respect yourself first. In my opinion there is no real need to "tell" anyone. Have faith and comfort in who you are, my friend. Good grief, you could be celebate, but that doesn't define you. Please, don't worry yourself over this issue.

Fred

[twosides]

I finally got my thoughts together on this one and when I come to post, Shiraz and Sparks beat me to the punch on what I wanted to say! :rolleyes:

So, for me the bottom line is loving yourself before anything else. One caveat though, for me, I personally add above that my love for God and all that that word denotes. For those who don't identify with that, find the love that you need within yourself, and accept what others around you give you, as little or as much as they will. When the need to discuss such intimate things comes up, say it with love and respect, don't go further than they are willing, and love them with the same love you have for yourself. I always tell my family and friends to ask whatever they want to know about me, but be prepared for me to tell the truth. I usually keep pretty mum about private issues like sexuality, religion, politics, etc., but if someone wants to know, I'm more than willing to talk about it.

[jazzer]

Hi Someone three. You are still very young. According to my arithmatic 18 years of age. I think you may still be experimenting with your sexuality. Finding oneself sexually can be a difficult journey for some people and I don't think you need to share your bisexual feelings with others at this stage.
There are a lot of bisexual men who marry have kids and don't revisit their sexual preference until later in life. That was true in my case. Being bisexual just means that you have an affinity for both sexes and you may find that you are more strongly attracted to women than men at this stage. I like both men and women but given a choice I would always prefer a woman to a man. Give yourself a chance to find out how you truly feel and then take it from there. Just remember that if you are in any kind of sexual relationship there are also other peoples feelings to consider, so think before you leap.

[Lisa (va)]

For society on a whole it is probably easier for women to admit their sexuality than our male counterparts. When (or if) you decide to go public expect to get differing reactions, both good and bad. Although I am 'out' i don't feel the need to advertise my sexuality to the general public, only to those that are affected by it in some way (ie. family, makes it easier to bring girls around). Although I don't out my self to everyone, I don't deny it, if they ask i will freely admit it. It's not my problem if they accept it or not, I accept me.

Lisa
hugs n kisses

[m.in.heels&hose]

i too agree with most on this subject (like i said in an earlier post, if they ask, i will be truthful) but if not (i feel) its best to leave things alone


as for my famiy, my mom would be the one to accept it best, and (in this order) my sister, and then my dad would be the ones not to accept it at all
my sister is a lesbianm, and she has stated several times in the past, that "there are only straight and gay people, there is not and can not be anything in between"
so i know where i would stand in with my family, so i feel there is no need to tell them :2cents:

[csrakate]

Why is there a need for you to divulge your sexuality to anyone? I have been in a marriage for 25 years to a bisexual man but I have never felt the need to tell my family anything about it for several reasons....the most important being that it is none of their business. And if I were in a traditional marriage, I don't think I would find the need to tell my mother that I had some hot, hetero sex going on at my house either.

I think that if we were less concerned about telling others about our most personal and innermost feelings, the more we would find acceptance within society. It is the "in your face" attitude that seems to be offensive to most people so why do it. If you're bi and proud, then be bi and proud. It doesn't have to be on a billboard. Why does our sexual preference have to put any of us in a category. As long as we are in a consensual relationship and no one is getting hurt, it doesn't matter what you call it.

I'm not advocating living a secret life, but living your life for YOU. It just doesn't have to involve a major announcement to give you the right to live it. And I agree with Jazzer....don't be so quick to label yourself either. You are young and time and experience will help you make the right decisions.

Just my humble opinion and not necessarily the same as others....but my opinion none the less.

Kate

[csrakate]

One more thing that the mother in me can't let go of. About the weed thing, you might want to reconsider the value of that in your life. I know all about it and what it is like....but it is illegal and that alone can ruin your life. Once again, just my opinion, but a valid one if I may say so myself. I've just lived a bit longer than you and know for a fact that certain things aren't worth it and certainly not worth taking a chance of what might lead to a major life altering experience like an arrest record or jail.

Good luck to you and I only wish the best for you. With that said, I will retire my MOM mode for the time being. LOL!

Kate