View Full Version : Bisexual vs gay
mikeiam4
Feb 13, 2007, 1:50 AM
Was wondering if many bi members have been with gay people. I was part of a group in college that was comprised of mostly gay people, and wound up playing around with a couple of them. All in all, it was a great introductary experience, due to the fact that these guys were not at all (well, for the most part!) interested in playing around with my wife. It became difficult after a time for my wife and I to play together with a gay guy, simply because we both started to want the guy to be a bit more interactive with my wife. Gave me a little wake up though, when one of the guys started to attempt an emotional tie with me, started expressing an interested in me that went far beyond physical.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you been with gays, do you prefer bi over gay? Myself, I prefer bi, gives a bit more variety.
DiamondDog
Feb 13, 2007, 4:18 AM
I relate very well to gay men! I have a lot in common with them and they've got a lot in common with me.
It doesn't matter to me if a man is gay or bisexual, or if he is bisexual and identifies as gay for political reasons, or is bisexual and identifies as gay in the public eye. Most of my best friends are male and gay, and it's not a big deal at all.
I'm not married to a woman or involved with a woman but if I ever were and we had an open relationship I wouldn't even think of having my gay friends get involved with her sexually simply because they wouldn't enjoy it because they're not into women sexually.
I find one on one sex, or making love with a man to be a lot more intimate in many ways than being with a woman, and having a woman there would ruin that intimacy, especially for the gay man I'm with. It would be pointless anyway since my male homosexual friends aren't into women sexually at all.
Now, having bisexual sex with a woman present with myself and another bisexual man would be fine, if we all happen to be sexually attracted to each other.
I don't mind if a gay man wants an emotional relationship with me as I fall into infatuation and love a lot easier with men than women, I bond more with men, and most of my sexual experiences and relationships have been with men.
A lot of people will say that we bisexuals should be against gay men since SOME of them can be biphobic. Or some bisexuals believe that bisexuals are somehow inheriently "better than" gay men since we're attracted to both genders in a variety of combinations, or because gay men aren't into women sexually that there's something wrong with them.
I disagree with this as it's pointless to be exclusive since we're all queer, you can educate people and they can change, and being homophobic like this gets you nowhere.
Long Duck Dong
Feb 13, 2007, 5:23 AM
I guess that I find gay males to be more settled and stable than bi males
its got nothing to be with sexuality, but more to do with sexual attitude.....
its interesting to notice the subtle differences with males....in my experiences, bi males tend to be more * fuck and run * than gay males...
oh course that doesn't apply to all gay / bi males, but the majority that i have met ...lol
as one gay gentleman mentioned to me, its a bit like the bi males are worried that they may miss out on the next sex partner if they actually stop and give their name
I also find that sex with a gay male is more in depth and enjoyable as they are not concerned about at what stage they are gonna get a leg over the female....
thats a aspect that annoys me about bi males, a lot of them tend to be unhappy that there is not always a female present for them to screw as well
i enjoy being with a couple as they are both open about their desires and needs, and I am more concerned about their satisfaction and pleasure, more than i am about my own......and I am not worried if i don't get to have sex with the lady....its a none issue.... its the whole experience that i enjoy
so yeah my vote is for gay males and bi couples over bi males
Rocsteady
Feb 13, 2007, 10:48 AM
I have been with gay men and I have been with bi men and since I identify as bi I feel more open with a bi man. Some gay men become rigid and not accepting of bi men and it usually comes out in discussion (not during sex) what atitudes exist. It depends on the person of course. :male:
izzfan
Feb 13, 2007, 7:07 PM
Yeah, all the ppl I have been with have been gay blokes. But then again in the town I am currently at university at there are about 3 bisexual ppl and LOADS of gay ppl [seriously, its seen as a 'gay capital' in the UK]... so I guess whenever I do anythign with a guy its usually with a gay bloke.
Izzfan :flag3:
LoveLion
Feb 15, 2007, 1:00 AM
Never been with one to date, but I would be as likly to be with one as I would a straight person or another bi
CuteGeorgiaBoy
Feb 15, 2007, 3:49 AM
:2cents:
I have always felt that if there is a mutual attraction, then it doesn't matter what label has been attached to the people involved.
To me, what counts is being happy.
sennex
Feb 15, 2007, 9:09 AM
Have to go with cutegeorgiaboy above.
afterdark75
May 22, 2007, 10:27 AM
No bother to me at all bi or gay. I like both, my wife and I go to a gay drag club all the time and I dance with the guys there most who are gay. So it does not mKE A MATTER TO ME.
the mage
May 22, 2007, 10:52 AM
I totally enjoy the company of gay men and in fact find I have little to say to the average suburban "strait" male. I dont give a rats ass about how the local team (name sport here) is doing, and I dont play video games, so I'm out of luck there.
Bi men are usually in the closet, usually looking for a quickie the wife wont find out about and want to be anonymous, usually a lousy lay too. too rushed too nervous too horny. The ones that are not in the closet are rare, but some fall into the category below.
A gay man wants to make love and the best lovers I've had were all gay men.
Well, perhaps except for the time there were the 3 domme women...
but thats another thread.
billy_campbell
May 22, 2007, 7:01 PM
Well I have only been with two other guys. First was a gay massage therapist that was just pure sexual. He really got off on giving oral. The second was a bisexual guy who I was doing while he was giving a lady friend of mine oral. Strangely enough the totally gay guy just wanted the sex but the bisexual guy liked the sex part but then wanted to be in love and have a relationship only after the one and only time we did anything. :2cents:
That said it again to me, it always comes down to the individual person I am with whether they are male or female or bi or gay. Everyone is different.
joxbear69
May 23, 2007, 1:09 AM
I prefer bi. I too have had a recent experience with a gay guy who started to get too emotionally attached--wanting more than a physical relationship.
We had to break it off.
We set the boundaries at the beginning and even talked about our exit plan---when we decided it needed to be done. It was something very cordial--we both knew it was time and that our fun had run it's course.
matterinhand
May 23, 2007, 2:26 AM
[QUOTE=mikeiam4]
It became difficult after a time for my wife and I to play together with a gay guy, simply because we both started to want the guy to be a bit more interactive with my wife.
Our first mmf threesome: The man had definatly seemed interested in both of us during initial chats and a meeting, but in practice was definatly more into me.
Not a problem, my wife loved seeing it, and I loved being able to enjoy the things I'd previously done in secret (when I was with other partners) in front of her.
But we so agree that to enjoy a threesome properly the incoming person has to be fully open to both of the existing partners to give maximum pleasure.