part 2 of wanting to be with my female friend

[confused2]

well lately my female friend has start rubbing up against me at work, and it was done on purpose. it's done to the point you can't tell otherwise. I'm not trying to make more things out of it then it is, she is just confusing me about where she is coming from. She does not answer the phone most of the time when I call, she's uncomfortable with me coming over to her house to visit her which to a certain point I can understand it. Are we really friends? or acquantiances. Becasue she has been hurt so much in her past, when someone new that could be a friend to her, she saids or does something to push them away. So in your opinion or anyones opinion is she really a friend or just someone looking to see what she can get from me concerning ant issue or situation? she did tell me she acts a certain way so that people can dislike her and not want to be around her but I told her because I went thru the same issues in my past, I knew what she was doing and she admitted it to me. She made me so mad one day that I said I'm so sick of her and she later that day on the phone asked me to please not get sick of her. We were in a conversation and she said she does not or will not tell her friends she does care about them, that they would just have to know. Her husband would be the only one to hear it but with her not knowing I heard her , she said I care about you but you will never know it. Why are things so complicated with this female friend? PLease help me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rocsteady]

It can be stressful. It seems that your friend has feelings for you or at least she may be developing (questioning) her feelings for you. It sounds as though she may be wrestling with getting close to you and possibly her home life and the decisions she is afraid to confront. She seems to find strength in her decision to get closer to you when you are both alone (ie: rubbing against you at work). She seems to be afraid or showing her feelings or perhaps hurting yours when her husband/family is around (ie: not accepting your calls at home or spending time with you at home). It would seem also that she is trying to protect you by pushing you away or pissing you off so you want to leave, but this is bittersweet because she really wants you close and wants to keep you close.
Yes, she is a friend but she is conflicted and she is fighting herself. Wanting to be with you but not being able to for (perhaps) many reasons (husband). You can be patient and be a friend and allow her time to sort things out in her own time (and mind). You are clearly frustrated with her and want to be with her more than a friend, but you have to be patient. Be a friend, and allow her time to answer the many questions she seems to have in her head which is causing her to be so conflicted. You seem to have bonded on your similar shared past so continue to be there for her that way and allow her to sort things out.
I hope this helps, I could not find "part 1" so I may be missing some details.

[DiamondDog]

Don't pursue sex/a relationship with someone you work with.

This woman sounds like a user and I personally wouldn't even try being friends with her. I mean someone who gets all "nice" to you at work where you're around others; but then she won't even talk to you on the phone when she's at home.:rolleyes:

[AngelOfTheMystic]

I think that your friend is proably struggleing with how to show feelings for people that she cares about and I would just give her time. I do think that she considers you a friend but is just struggleing with her own emotions right now just hang in there!

[confused2]

It can be stressful. It seems that your friend has feelings for you or at least she may be developing (questioning) her feelings for you. It sounds as though she may be wrestling with getting close to you and possibly her home life and the decisions she is afraid to confront. She seems to find strength in her decision to get closer to you when you are both alone (ie: rubbing against you at work). She seems to be afraid or showing her feelings or perhaps hurting yours when her husband/family is around (ie: not accepting your calls at home or spending time with you at home). It would seem also that she is trying to protect you by pushing you away or pissing you off so you want to leave, but this is bittersweet because she really wants you close and wants to keep you close.
Yes, she is a friend but she is conflicted and she is fighting herself. Wanting to be with you but not being able to for (perhaps) many reasons (husband). You can be patient and be a friend and allow her time to sort things out in her own time (and mind). You are clearly frustrated with her and want to be with her more than a friend, but you have to be patient. Be a friend, and allow her time to answer the many questions she seems to have in her head which is causing her to be so conflicted. You seem to have bonded on your similar shared past so continue to be there for her that way and allow her to sort things out.
I hope this helps, I could not find "part 1" so I may be missing some details.
Thank you for your advice and opinion I will try hard to take it all to heart, since there is a true friendship waiting to be there for the two.

[Herbwoman39]

I have to agree with Diamond Dog. This sounds like a recipe for disaster. You're better off finding someone else who is ready to be in a relationship because either she's playing games with you or she has major intimacy issues. Neither option is to your benefit.

[confused2]

:(

I still don't know what to do about this situation Eventhough I want her sexually, her friendship is important but You have to accept so much from her if you want to be her friend. One moment she is very caring, next she is pushing you away, next she is pulling you back in because she does not like it when you are not talking to her or paying attention to her. She does not really like no one calling her at home or really visiting her. She has this thing that she does and saids what she wants but if you do it back to her, she does not like it and will tell you off or give you an evil look. How can I care about someone like this as a friend or more than a friend, I know I have my bad things but to do that to someone who is your friend or wants to be, how can I remain to be her friend. Maybe she does not really want to be my friend. She tells me she trusts me a little and considers me her friend, it does not feel like we are friends. sometimes she does and says things to make me believe she is interested in me sexually then cools off. Please give me your opinion and some advie on this situation.

[flexuality]

:(

I still don't know what to do about this situation Eventhough I want her sexually, her friendship is important but You have to accept so much from her if you want to be her friend. One moment she is very caring, next she is pushing you away, next she is pulling you back in because she does not like it when you are not talking to her or paying attention to her. She does not really like no one calling her at home or really visiting her. She has this thing that she does and saids what she wants but if you do it back to her, she does not like it and will tell you off or give you an evil look. How can I care about someone like this as a friend or more than a friend, I know I have my bad things but to do that to someone who is your friend or wants to be, how can I remain to be her friend. Maybe she does not really want to be my friend. She tells me she trusts me a little and considers me her friend, it does not feel like we are friends. sometimes she does and says things to make me believe she is interested in me sexually then cools off. Please give me your opinion and some advie on this situation.

It sounds to me like this is taking an emotional toll on you. Is it worth it? There are a lot of other people in this world. Just my :2cents: 2 cents.