secret desires among hetero men?

[flybyradar]

I suspect that many men who consider themselves hetero have a secret desire to suck cock. It seems various studies put it in the 10 to 20 per cent range. But I think it's almost universal, or at least among those whose phobias or prejudices allow them to acknowledge the possibility at all.

This hunch is based on experiences with male friends in my early teens. Among a very limited pool of possible candidates, circle jerks, even mutal JO, were not unusual. No one thought of it in terms of defining our sexuality. Rather it was just feel-good adventure during the raging hormone days.

Then there's the old joke, "Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can." Never met a guy who doesn't find it funny. The implication being that we'd all lick our balls if we could, and it's not a big leap from there to getting intimate with someone else's.

What do others think? Am I deluded?

[TaylorMade]

You're not crazy or wrong.

The closeted guy I refrence in my profile loved anal...and I mean receiving - -to the point where he actually bought me a strap on for me to use on him. He even admitted to sucking one guy off, but immedately tried to close any further prodding with, " I was seriously drunk and high, and that was 15 years ago, and I haven't done anything like that since."

:rolleyes:

But he was more open than others, tellyouwhut.

*Taylor*

[Chr15|]

a very good point, one to ponder on i believe, but yea i think that all guys want to jack off another guy or suck cock atleast once to try it, especially those that are dead set against it, they want it the most

[bimaleNE81]

I wouldn't go as far as saying its anywhere near universal but it is probably a significant minority maybe 30-40%. I mean its pretty hard to watch porn without at least thinking about it.

[DiamondDog]

I wouldn't say that this is universal or that ALL heterosexual men secretly desire men, or even that ALL men secretly do.

Just because a guy is handsome or declares himself heterosexual it doesn't mean he has a secret wish for having sex with men.

This type of thinking is something that lots of gay/bi men wish was true but it's not.

[BlueMoon203]

I suspect that many men who consider themselves hetero have a secret desire to suck cock. It seems various studies put it in the 10 to 20 per cent range. But I think it's almost universal, or at least among those whose phobias or prejudices allow them to acknowledge the possibility at all.

This hunch is based on experiences with male friends in my early teens. Among a very limited pool of possible candidates, circle jerks, even mutal JO, were not unusual. No one thought of it in terms of defining our sexuality. Rather it was just feel-good adventure during the raging hormone days.

Then there's the old joke, "Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can." Never met a guy who doesn't find it funny. The implication being that we'd all lick our balls if we could, and it's not a big leap from there to getting intimate with someone else's.

What do others think? Am I deluded?

I think you may be a bit deluded here. You said yourself that these types of things happened when you were a teen in the raging hormone period. I would suggest that a lot of things happen during this time that may or may not have any bearing on sexual desires, orientation, or fantasies.

Secondly, if you are to make this claim, then by nature you must also make the claim that all men who identify has gay have a universal desire to eat pussy. And all women who identify as gay have the same desire to suck cock.

I don't think you are completely wrong, I would agree with the 10-20% the studies show, I just don't see any foundation for your claim.

[biwords]

I'd be surprised if it's anywhere near 20% or even 15%, but we're all just guessing here...

Puts me in mind of something. I had a very close friend in highschool whom I believe was basically straight, but he once surprised me by asking if I'd ever thought of making it with him. I had, in a vague way, but in a moment of panic said "No, not at all. Uh, what about you?" and he answered, "No, I've never thought about it. But I've thought about thinking about it".

What do you make of that?

[TaylorMade]

This is one of those things that can go anecdotal, as far as what we think. . . I should partially blame myself... :tong:
But as to gay men eating pussy, I do know one gayguy who is into tits...does that count?

<shrug>

*Taylor*

[chrisgp]

well untill a few months ago i think i always had a slight "hidden" fancy for men. i put it down to some people are just good looking and they were nice.
well i was a bit innocent only ever having had sex with 2 women before i met my wife. a closed sexual life you could say.

however, i did get other feelings creep up on me - a slow realisation that i actually fancied men and if i was brave enough (to step outside a very close sex life) could experience more.

well i am glad to say i had the strenght of conviction and now i enjoy sex with men just as much as sex with women.

coming ack to your point - i suspect a number of men do fancy otehr men at the very least and perhaps do want to do other things with them other than drink and play footie. sometimes its called male bonding, but i think the bounds of " what is normal" stops them from crossing the line to anything other than friends - or reffering to that guy as a bit strange.

sorry just my thoughts
chris

[Blvlguy]

I don't know that ALL hetero men desire to suck a cock or have anal but I am sure there are some. Mostly likely there are men with bi tendancies who would love to try it but can't get past the social taboo or what others would think of him. He might be getting his courage up to try. Just a thought.

[12voltman59]

It is really hard to make sweeping generalizations about much of anything--on this subject-- but that said, I tend to believe that if all of the societal restraints that hold people back from following both their hearts and their genitals---the vast majority of people would naturally enter a state of bisexuality.

And it would be true--some would always have such relationships only with the opposite or same sex as the case may be---but most I do believe would have at least one significant sexual/emotional relationship with same sex partners during the course of their lives.

As far as gays are concerned---in the current system--they have undertaken the life they have--it was a tough decision to do so I am sure--and they have paid many prices to do live life as they have done. They have also fought to not be discriminated against and they cannot back off from being gay--even though--we do have some gays who have come to this site and put in their profiles that after living a gay life for many years--they now want to be with women--just like many of us who have been with women most of our lives now want to see what things are like on the other side of the street, as it were.

For straights who firmly hold to that way of being---they are wise to do so--for being hetero is "the way things are supposed to be." They have chosen to stay in that favored group and not threaten the life they have made.

Both steadfastly hold to their side of the either/or system we impose now--- they have territory they have staked out and laid claim to. It would shatter their world views to do otherwise.

I bet--if the human race "lives long and prospers" (something I am beginning to have my doubts about)---society and culture will transform to accept our natural state of being--that the majority of human beings sometimes want to love someone of their own sex and sometimes want to love someone of the opposite sex--but at the fringes--you will have those who are exclusive one way or the other and whatever way one chooses--it matters not!!!!

Idealistic? Naive? perhaps--but I think it highly probable come some day in the future.

Just my :2cents:

[DiamondDog]

There's a saying among queer men:
"Every straight guy you meet is like a bitch that won't put out."

[FalconAngel]

Back when I was stationed overeas, there was one guy that was in my unit, who found out about my being Bi. Well, one evening we were talking about it and he spent a bit of time sucking my cock. Turns out it wasn't for him. I don't know if that qualifies him as that 10% or not, but he was certainly curious.

There are some out there, but I am thinking that the 10% estimate may be closer to correct than any of our wildest erotic dreams.

[findingpeace]

Well I suppose it's going to be hard to know for sure until I've sucked every straight man - then I'll get back to you all with the definative answer ;)

But to add to the antecdotal evidence, a buddy of mine said that, even in rural conservative USA, he would go to straight bars and pick up men. He said that he was never refused. Now this guy is an insanely hot male model and if there is a curiosity in any man, it would surely come out with him - lol.

But I subscribe to the idea that most men are at least incedentally bisexual and societal restrictions keep most from acting on it.

[Tommy2020]

Hetero... Schmetero....
I don't think I ever met a "HETERO" who didn't have a deep down want to be sucked, suck or be fucked or fuck another man. If for nothing else, just the curiosity of want. I have known hetero men that went google eyed over some very well dressed crossdressers and then when they found out that they were seeing a CD, didn't express some kind of want to have blatant sex with the CD. Just my :2cents:
Tommy2020

[54901]

I suspect that many men who consider themselves hetero have a secret desire to suck cock. It seems various studies put it in the 10 to 20 per cent range. But I think it's almost universal, or at least among those whose phobias or prejudices allow them to acknowledge the possibility at all.

This hunch is based on experiences with male friends in my early teens. Among a very limited pool of possible candidates, circle jerks, even mutal JO, were not unusual. No one thought of it in terms of defining our sexuality. Rather it was just feel-good adventure during the raging hormone days.

Then there's the old joke, "Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can." Never met a guy who doesn't find it funny. The implication being that we'd all lick our balls if we could, and it's not a big leap from there to getting intimate with someone else's.

What do others think? Am I deluded?
I think all people are born inherently bisexual and are programed from birth to suppress this tendency because it is nonproductive as in procreation and survival of the species. Wich is common sense. But I think once one has procreated two humans wich equals zero population growth (all that should be required in this day and age with our species being threatened with over population) one should feel free to explore the latent bisexual tendency they were born with if they are not hurting anyone while doing it.

[Daisy999]

Not another "we're ALL like this" argument for bisexuality. :rolleyes:

IF we really ALL are bisexual, then why is bisexuality itself so closeted, controversial, and invisible?

As far as "being hetero is the way things are supposed to be" and that "gay people choose to be gay" that voltman wrote about, well fuck that.

My lesbian and heterosexual friends would take offense at this theory and argue that they've had absolutely ZERO desire to be with the opposite/same sex and that they were born this way. No it wouldn't shatter their worldview to discover bisexuality or know about it in other people. Some of my lesbian friends have been with men and to them it just felt simply WRONG and they had to think of a woman constantly.

Fact of the matter is, we're NOT all the same in our sexuality and ignorant to think that "everyone is bisexual" or that "we're all born this way".

It's just as ignorant/close minded to think that ALL heterosexual men REALLY want to be with a guy deep down but they simply don't know it!

It's the same argument that straight guys give my dyke friends telling them "oh you just haven't been with the right guy yet..." :rolleyes:

You're naieve, foolish, and have a death wish if you try to pick up straight men, especially in conservative america.

Look what happened to Matthew Shephard, Gwen Araujo, and Brandon Teena.

[biwords]

Personally, I believe that the entire membership of bisexual.com is intensely attracted to me, but that most have for one reason or another repressed this important piece of self-knowledge. Alls I can say is, it's a good thing I'm patient...! :bigrin:

[swans]

I think that many men, especially whilst watching porn, do secretly find the sight of cocks (and cum) a big turn on but are not interested in the other bits of the guy. I know from my own experience that once I admitted as much to my friend whilst we were camping when we were in our mid teens, both very drunk, that he too shared the same fantasy.. and one thing led to another until we found ourselves eating each others cum in our first 69.

[bohemian69]

Okay, here's my two cents - :2cents: Bear with me but my theory is that to one degree or another, everyone is gay. (this goes for men and women). Me feeling is that we were born with bi or gay tendancies. The thing is : to what degree are people willing to accept (or act upon) those feelings for the same sex.
It seems that bi and gay behavior has been around for a lot longer than people are willing to accept. When the "Church" started becoming more powerful over the years, it basically started the repression of those feelings.
I mean - do you really want to burn in HELL!![/COLOR] No? Well then accept our doctrine and live your life as we see fit - there is no reason to live your own life as you see fit - trust us we know what's better for you.
(Sorry - a little ranting & raving there)
But anyway, the point I am trying to make is that everyone has feelings for the same sex. There are people who accept it (Like everyone here :bigrin: )
and there are people who were brought up to believe that it is a sin and unnatural...blah blah blah..... So they repress their feelings, making them lash out at people that are gay or bi........
Hopefully I was able to make my point thru all of the rantings. ;)

[COLOR=Purple]"My attitude toward antbody's sexual persuasion is this: without deviationfrom the norm, progress is not possible."
- Frank Zappa :cool:

[TaylorMade]

I think for some people that their bi side is not strong enough for it to register as an urge for actual sexual congress with a member of the same sex But think about this. . .

I have a male friend who when he learned that I was curious about seeing bi males, he at first said he thought was gross, but then started teasing me, with HIM stating he was bi (he's VERY handsome) then saying ,"just kidding."
My other straight male friends response? "Make sure you don't catch nothin.' "

Is EVERYONE a little bit bi? Maybe, even probably. But that little bit may truly be just a little bit.

*Taylor*

[izzfan]

I considered myself to be straight for quite a while. I mean sucking cock is sort of one of the only things I will do with another guy [apart from kissing and masturbation] - anal sex holds no attraction for me and I find it uncomfortable giving and recieving anal. Yeah, It wouldn't surprise me at all to think that a large number of straight men secretly love cock - I guess its the fact that you have one yourself [if you're male] so you know what turns men on. I think it was best put in 'M.Butterfly' - "Only a man knows how to truly pleasure a man". Enough said

Izzfan :flag3:

[deremarc]

Personally, I don't think we are all the same. I don't think we are all naturally (take your pick) straight or bi or homosexual. I am a female (and so don't fit the guy personna), but I can tell you-since I found out about my man having sex with men, we have talked 3sums and girl on girl action (cuz he wants it). It just doesn't do it for me. Believe me, I have tried to entertain the idea-it would make things so much easier for our relationship if I were bi as well. No social taboo for me. No strict religious upbringing. A guy who would love to have me do it. But, for some reason, for me...I just don't get turned on at the thought. That's it, pretty simple really.

I take as much offense at "everyone is bi" as a bisexual would if I said that bisexuality doesn't exist. I think they all do: bisexuality, homosexuality, heterosexuality.

If all societies rules were off, there were no consequences for any actions, no one worried about partners, there were no jealousies, no taboos...maybe everyone would end up hopping in bed with everyone else...hell, I don't know.

Personally, though, I don't see that happening (at least not in the foreseeable future). I do agree that there are people that are bisexual and not out, even to themselves (but, not everyone here is even "out"). But, I don't think everyone is bisexual. And, isn't that the great thing about people? That we are all different?

But, given a choice-I would take a man any day. If all I wanted was to receive oral sex, I guess it might not matter who did it...but, as I told my man, I would have to finish with a man. I like to receive oral sex, but for me it is more foreplay (appetizer or desert) than it is the main deal (the meat...lol).

But, here I sit thinking myself in circles again. If there were no taboos and one thing was as "acceptable" as another-I think (a lot of) men would get head from whomever wanted to give it to them. Would it mean they were attracted to men? wanted relationships with men? wanted to reciprocate? I personally don't think that would necessarily be true.

I know there are men who call themselves straight who have received head from men. But, I don't think there is anything in that for the other guy-not if he isn't willing to acknowledge you, or reciprocate, or take care of your needs in some manner as well. I've said (and said it here) that I can't understand how a man can call himself straight if he gets head from men. Now, I'm thinking I don't know if he could really call himself bisexual either-if he only wants that.

This is one of those questions that no one will ever really know the answer to. If I had to venture a guess-what percentage of people are bi? More than the ones who are out. Straight acting guys who secretly crave dick in their lives? Sure, they're out there.

Never mind my ramblings. I obviously don't know anything...lol. All I do know is that for me-I'm straight. I'm monogamous. I guess I'll just leave it at that.

[Daisy999]

Well I suppose it's going to be hard to know for sure until I've sucked every straight man - then I'll get back to you all with the definative answer ;)

But to add to the antecdotal evidence, a buddy of mine said that, even in rural conservative USA, he would go to straight bars and pick up men. He said that he was never refused. Now this guy is an insanely hot male model and if there is a curiosity in any man, it would surely come out with him - lol.

But I subscribe to the idea that most men are at least incedentally bisexual and societal restrictions keep most from acting on it.


Hetero... Schmetero....
I don't think I ever met a "HETERO" who didn't have a deep down want to be sucked, suck or be fucked or fuck another man. If for nothing else, just the curiosity of want. I have known hetero men that went google eyed over some very well dressed crossdressers and then when they found out that they were seeing a CD, didn't express some kind of want to have blatant sex with the CD. Just my :2cents:
Tommy2020

That's absurd. Who says those men were heterosexual to begin with?

You'll always find a few queer people in such settings even if they aren't open about it.

You've got self esteem issues if you can't walk into a safe environment such as a gay bar and meet people there or meet people online from the privacy of your own home.

You're naieve, foolish, and have a death wish if you try to pick up "straight" or closeted men who think they're straight, especially in conservative america.

Look what happened to people like Matthew Shephard, Gwen Araujo, Brandon Teena, and others.

Sure guys know what guys want just like women know what women want. ;)
But that doesn't mean that everyone secretly wants sex with the same sex and it's not worth risking your life just to bag that hot "straight" guy. :rolleyes:

I've met trans women who weren't really MTF (male transgender female) but only got the surgery, hormones, and everything else just so they could get that "hot straight guy".

I agree with Deremac. Most people are heterosexual and it's not because they're "blinded by society".