Hints???

[candigirl]

On a previous post, a member asked "where to find someone". I was as baffled as this member. Ive never been with a woman, but deep down inside i know im into women and men. It's just the gut feeling. My question is, what's the best way to hint to a woman that you're into her without saying it?

Remember I'm a shy little thing ...... :wiggle2:

[DiamondDog]

why not just tell a woman that you're into her? Or go to a lesbian bar/club and try to meet single women? Buy a woman a drink or ask someone to dance and get to know them that way.

Personally I don't like it when people play "games" such as the flirt, retreat| flirt, act uninterested|, and flirt, ignore type.

I especially don't like it when people do these things and then it turns out that they were flirting with you but only did it for an ego boost since they're already in a closed/exclusive relationship and just want to feel wanted by other people.

If I'm interested in someone I am just straight forward and I let them know. Simple as that.

[biwords]

DD makes sense as usual. I'd only add that IMHO there is nothing wrong in flirting for the fun of it (but that's different from the maddening flirt-retreat-flirt scenario he describes).

[candigirl]

Yeah that's just what i was thinking of doing. But alot of bisexual women tell me not to do so. they say it will creep out the chick...they told me to just be friends with her first. but i thought that way would take forever...plus time would be wasted if she wasnt into women correct?

[mindfinding]

I'm usually very good at reading women that I had wanted in the past, and I knew I had an in with them being honest. The thing is though, when you reveal yourself, don't do it in a place they feel uncomfortable, like malls or public eating establishments.

Emotions and feeling need to be shared while getting loaded playing pool or video games. HA! Kidding. :tong:

I would say be a straight shooter, but test the waters first. Talk about bisexuality with her, and things around that area. Get to know some of the things she thinks about. Be honest with her when she shoots you a question and your all set......forget I said anything about pool tables.

Let us know how it goes.

[calas]

Wow. I'm still working on this one myself, and not just with females, but males, too. Being socialized female -- read passive -- is a real disadvantage. I'm getting better with practice, and I think that's mainly what it takes. You're probably going to experience some rejection along the way, but don't let that stop you. Nothing ventured, and all that. Good luck. I'll be reading to see what other advice you get that I can borrow from! ;)

Cala S

[candigirl]

my problem is that i dont wanna see a sexy ass young woman in a store. I go up to her and hit on her then she smirkes and walks away...or become friends, flirt and she's straight....that would suck :(

[biwords]

my problem is that i dont wanna see a sexy ass young woman in a store. I go up to her and hit on her then she smirkes and walks away...or become friends, flirt and she's straight....that would suck :(

I agree. If you don't have some reason from the get-go to think that the women you're approaching are at least bicurious, you'll be increasing the odds of rejection in a way that won't help you build confidence.

Alternatively, of course, you can work on a volume basis -- approach whomever you like, while accepting that most will be straight & will therefore reject you for reasons that aren't personal. Apparently this is the method that Rasputin ("Russia's greatest sex machine") used on women -- if only 1% say yes but you try 100 a week, you're not going to be spending many lonely weeks.

[Solomon]

think i would prefer either a bisexual event/ meeting sorta thing or being burnt at the stake! :eek:

like how in the world would i get through the nerves that are going to project my intentions even at the mention to some possible candidates, even with light non-diclosive conversation about the issue.... i seem to be a very transparent person, and they would indeed realize that i was being serious or something... geez! scares me to death for some reason....

stupid trust issues i seem to have are frustrating to say the least

[jem_is_bi]

I have a similar opinion to bywords. If you want something good to happen within the next 6 months, you are going to need a proactive approach.
First, maximize your likelihood of contact with bisexual women. This can include websites specializing for this purpose, entertainment establishments that attract them and you, joining local organizations or groups.
Second, at least be somewhat forward. If you know the person is interested, just go for it. Otherwise, flirting is a good tactic, especially when the person of interest perceives that it has the potential for more if they choose to take it further. Then, if they do not offer encouragement, there is little emotional cost.
Third, do not get upset that you are not able to impress everybody with your sexual charms, intellect and personality. Baseball players get to the hall of fame for hitting the ball only a third of the time. In making connections (in person and on line), I think one out of 10 is a hall of (dating) fame average.

JEM