How do you feel about the term heteroflexible?

[jackies]

I just came across it in my "research" as I am new to this whole idea. Just wanted some input on what you all thought of yet another label. I must admit...if I had to use a label...this one seems to fit me and my husband. Just curious as to your thoughts.

Thanks to all of you who have made me feel welcome here...


Jackie

[innaminka]

Hetreroflexible - could take off.
A suggestion of casualness about it.

Can labels be patented? ;)

[TaylorMade]

An ex boyfriend describes himself as hetroflexible. He won't date men or do anything sexual with one unless there is a woman present. He won't bottom or kiss. He knows he's definately not 100% straight, but doesn't percive himself as bisexual.
I think it's a valid term. Can be used as a transitionary period, or an identity all its own.

*Taylor*

[FalconAngel]

Too "trendy" sounding. Too fake sounding. Almost as if it was something you would say at some A-list party to say that you are Bi without saying that you are Bi.

[TaylorMade]

Too "trendy" sounding. Too fake sounding. Almost as if it was something you would say at some A-list party to say that you are Bi without saying that you are Bi.

For some people, it works, though.

Sometimes things like this ARE trendy sounding...but that shouldn't discount the validity of it.

*Taylor*

[Long Duck Dong]

it sounds like a heteros excuse for their sexual behievour

kinda like, " I am a heterosexual but i play the field. without wanting the * stigma * attached to the other * labels * "

[NorthBiEast]

I think its a great word that sums up a new attitude about sexuality, one the closely resembles the "pan-sexual" frequently referenced by LDD.

There are a lot of people out there who are at the far ends of the Kinsey scale but consider themselves "allies" or something along those lines. They aren't necessarily physically attracted to people of the both sexes, but they don't rule out the possibility of same (or opposite) sex relations.

At the risk of sounding hypocritical; 5 out of my 6 teenage clients consider themselves bi, even though their behavior and stated attractions scream straight. I think it is because they are just flexible and willing to consider more labels than "gay" or "straight".
:flag4:

[DiamondDog]

It's just another word for bisexual.

I see it as a cop out like someone who doesn't feel comfortable calling themselves bi or queer, or even saying "oh well I'm bi but I only fall in love with the opposite gender I don't fall in love with the same gender".

[TaylorMade]

That response is no different from when we tell people we're bisexual...
"That's just a cop out... you're really straight/gay, but you're too lazy to say so."
What, we can't let new people in the club now? And some people just don't fall in love with the same gender. It happens.

*Taylor*

[bigregory]

Shit another usless lable.
I call them voyeurs.
Or I can call them "O shit Im at a Bi party and I just might stay and watch cuz I might just like it"
If they left they would be hetrounbendable= just as silly as hetroflexible.
:2cents:

[flexuality]

I just came across it in my "research" as I am new to this whole idea. Just wanted some input on what you all thought of yet another label. I must admit...if I had to use a label...this one seems to fit me and my husband. Just curious as to your thoughts.


I've come across that term too. I like the flexible part, but not so much the hetero part....my nickname is kinda taken from that term actually. :tong:

Not being fond of labels, I like the idea of sexuality being more of a fluid thing. I don't know who I am going to be attracted to....could be male or female...or somewhere in between...it's the PERSON I see first, not the sex.

Course I seem to be an oddball in that respect.... :rolleyes:

[Remetan]

Nope, I'm with you, Flex. Definitely attracted to both, depending on the person. And as far as I am concerned, there ain't nothing flexible about it. I just am.

[biRooky]

I rember seeing a topic like this a few months ago, about shifting into bi and str8. I think it is a valad point because, that describes ME. There are times I like watching straight, gay, or lesbian porn. Heck, for last several months I've not come to this site much because I wasnt in the mood. Spent alot of time with the GF and felt no need for other outlets. And yes she knows I'm bicurious. So while I am excited by thoughts of bisex, its not a major part of me. I absolutly love the taste, feel, and smell of a woman and I dont have the need to have that emotional bond with another man like with a woman. So for now Im looking at bi stuff again, who to say tomorrow it wont intrest me for another few months. I guess im not Bi enough then, I dair some one to say im just copping out. So are you going to give me the same kinda crap that gays/straighs give to bi's about not admitting your one or the other? Woul be funny you pull the same kinda crap you bitch about receiving from others. Thank you TaylorMade because you do seem to get it. So let others be what they are and try to find what makes them comfortable with themselves.

[DiamondDog]

The original poster asked how we personally feel about it, what's wrong with being honest?

Like I said before it's just another word for bisexual since there is more than one way to be bisexual and you don't have to fall in love with both genders.

I agree with LongDuck and FalconAngel that it just seems like a label that people who are bisexual but want to hold onto being heterosexual or some false glimmer of hope of identifying as heterosexual.

I see this a lot in men who we'd consider to be bi but they call themselves "gay" and are quite attached to that label, sometimes for political reasons.

[DuskTillDawn]

It's just another word for bisexual.

I see it as a cop out like someone who doesn't feel comfortable calling themselves bi or queer, or even saying "oh well I'm bi but I only fall in love with the opposite gender I don't fall in love with the same gender".


Am I right in saying there is no distinct definition of bisexual? So then wouldn't it be up to each individuals interpretation? So its easy enough for bisexual and hetroflexible to be 2 completely different labels. And how exactly is it a "cop out" if it gives a better description of your sexuality?

Please dont take offence from this anyone, I know the original post asked for your personal opinion, I am merely suggesting some of you rethink your opinions.

Personally I think people should be entitled to whatever labels they choose to slap on themeselves and noone else has the right to label them as anything.

[bigirl_inwv]

Just like with anything else, some people will like it and some people wont. Just like some people choose to use the word queer instead of gay. It's all a personal choice.

I think it's really hard to label bisexuality. People ask me alot if I'm a "true" bisexual. I don't think there is such a thing. I explain it as....If there is a line....and the far left is 100% Straight and the far right is 100% gay....everything in between is Bi. And there are many different levels. You have those who only want sex with the same (or opposite) sex....and then you have those who actually feel that they could fall in love with both sexes. It's a very hard thing to put a label on. So I just don't. I'm me. I love who I love. That's all there is to it.

[meteast chick]

I guess I could see it as a cop out, but if someone...say...ME, were to say it, I'd just be being cheeky. I'd much rather say homoflexible tho.

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxo
meteast

[Cid87]

Heteroflexible, sounds a lot like me. I could identify as bisexual though, but heteroflexible is a more accurate description.

[DiamondDog]

Am I right in saying there is no distinct definition of bisexual? So then wouldn't it be up to each individuals interpretation? So its easy enough for bisexual and hetroflexible to be 2 completely different labels. And how exactly is it a "cop out" if it gives a better description of your sexuality?

Please dont take offence from this anyone, I know the original post asked for your personal opinion, I am merely suggesting some of you rethink your opinions.

Personally I think people should be entitled to whatever labels they choose to slap on themeselves and noone else has the right to label them as anything.

If you're bisexual at the base/root of the definition, you're at least sexually attracted to both men and women.

How is heteroflexible any different than being bisexual but only falling in love with the opposite gender, or being bisexual and primarily attracted both sexually and romantically to the opposite gender?

I see the term of heteroflexible to be one that is something that someone who is closeted or on the down low would say.

It also seems trite and dismissive about how the person has sex with both genders or is sexually attracted to both men and women but how they're not bisexual.

It also seems to mirror the homophobic idea that bisexuals are "experimental" in their sex and sexual attractions with others of the same gender.

I find that the more terms, synonyms, and useless labels that people use in place of bisexual that are dismissive of their own bisexuality, just confuse other people who aren't bisexual about what it's actually like to be bisexual.

I get told that I'm a "true" bisexual since I can fall in love with both men and women and I crave sex with both at the same time.

I don't like the idea that there's only one type of bisexuality and that all the others are "false".

[darkeyes]

Wos chattin 2 Meteastchic on messenger earlier an discussin this..me suggested sexuallyflexible cos that seems ta cover jus bout everythin..she reckons that she wudn dream ah doin that wiv lessies cos hey an odd bunch so many of em an don think nethin but them exist ne way.

An its a point ya know..so many labels we soon wont know who is wot... decided then..me jus lil bi girl an sod it... no more labels.. call yaselves wotya like.. jus try an not hurt me head 2 much wiv usin me brain 2 remember wotya r!!! Tee hee :tong:

[bithonglover]

Heteroflexible... I like it and think it describes me to a T. I feel this way because there are days I feel bi but days I feel straight. I'm not attracted to men like I am women. I love women and all that they are. Men on the other hand, well, its only a sexual thing and would never date or have a relationship with a guy on romantic terms. What's wrong with the term if one is comfortable with it? Do we have to limit ourselves to a few rigid labels? Are we not all unique in who we are and lie at different places in the spectrum? I say giv'er and be who/what you wanna be.

[spartca]

IMHO it usually means that the guy SUCKS! Literally! ;)

[flexuality]

Wos chattin 2 Meteastchic on messenger earlier an discussin this..me suggested sexuallyflexible cos that seems ta cover jus bout everythin..she reckons that she wudn dream ah doin that wiv lessies cos hey an odd bunch so many of em an don think nethin but them exist ne way.

An its a point ya know..so many labels we soon wont know who is wot... decided then..me jus lil bi girl an sod it... no more labels.. call yaselves wotya like.. jus try an not hurt me head 2 much wiv usin me brain 2 remember wotya r!!! Tee hee :tong:

Flexual.

Gawd I hate labels.....I'm wv u...all this labelin hurts me brain.... :tong:

[the mage]

Another cop out "'Im no fag" label for use by the closeted majority.

and... to continue this.......
Who is a "true bisexual"??

I've been called that by a gay man I quite like. He has known many of us "Bi"'s.
He say I differ cause I make love to him, and we kiss.
We dont suk n fuk.

What do you think??
Are the "quickie on way home from work cause the wife wont suck it "crowd really bi?/ IMHO they are not.. They are users.

[spartca]

The mage, I totally feel you. I've learned over the years though to accept how people identify. It's their label, not mine.

I like to clarify if a "bisexual" person is really emotionally available to men though before I date them seriously. Just like "polyamorous," the term "bisexual" can mean so many different and potentially incompatible things lol.

But I'm happy to share the bisexual label with anyone who claims it. The more the merrier.

I don't have to like them though. Especially those guys who claim to be bi just to get more pussy. Jeez, how lame is that?

[DiamondDog]

Are the "quickie on way home from work cause the wife wont suck it "crowd really bi?/ IMHO they are not.. They are users.

Why wouldn't they be bi or perhaps gay but deeply closeted?

They're having sex with a guy.

Heterosexual men don't want anything to do with being sexual with a guy.

Anyway who says that they're cheating?

Sure it seems like that the majority are.

But, I know some couples where they have an open relationship and the one partner allows the other partner to go have receptive oral sex with a stranger.

[spartca]

Yeah I've learned it's not really for me to judge what's right for them, only to judge whether they are right for me lol.

[TaylorMade]

Yeah I've learned it's not really for me to judge what's right for them, only to judge whether they are right for me lol.

Ain't that the gosh dern truth.

*Taylor*

[BiDesire]

Heteroflexible sounds like a straight guy that's ok with receiving head from a guy, but will never give head to a guy. Yep that what heteroflexible sounds like.

I'm bi and not ashamed to say I am.

[Realist]

Reminds me of a failed poly relationship I had many years ago.

The husband of the lady I was with, wanted to be orally serviced while he laid on his back with his eyes closed. He didn't want to know which of us were doing the servicing. Although I did as he wished, one time, I figured that if he was only going to take, but not give, to hell with him!

Maybe he was hetero-IN-felxible!

[Papelucho]

The more titles there are the better. Variety is healthy and people could figure out who they are a lot sooner if there are more options. All the bi's who are scoffing at this sound just like the gays who do it to us. :2cents:

[tenni]

I looked up heteroflexible in wiki and it said that it was equivalent to "bi curious". I'm fine with it with that meaning. I don't think that what the two above posters have written about "getting" oral and not "giving" is a very positive interpretation for someone to call themselves "heteroflexible" though. That's just greedy and perhaps "using" someone for gratification to the point of abusive? I think that I can tell the difference between that kind of character and someone who is bi curious and not been with same sex person before. The guy who wants to get oral but not give is not bi curious but maybe more in denial about his sexuality.

"it sounds like a heteros excuse for their sexual behievour
kinda like, " I am a heterosexual but i play the field. without wanting the * stigma * attached to the other * labels * "

In May, 2007 (post 6) LDD made this post on this thread. Now, he is in an internet relationship with someone who claimed to be "heterosexual" but now posts "heteroflexible". How things change over time.

[Long Duck Dong]

I looked up heteroflexible in wiki and it said that it was equivalent to "bi curious". I'm fine with it with that meaning. I don't think that what the two above posters have written about "getting" oral and not "giving" is a very positive interpretation for someone to call themselves "heteroflexible" though. That's just greedy and perhaps "using" someone for gratification to the point of abusive? I think that I can tell the difference between that kind of character and someone who is bi curious and not been with same sex person before. The guy who wants to get oral but not give is not bi curious but maybe more in denial about his sexuality.

"it sounds like a heteros excuse for their sexual behievour
kinda like, " I am a heterosexual but i play the field. without wanting the * stigma * attached to the other * labels * "

In May, 2007 (post 6) LDD made this post on this thread. Now, he is in an internet relationship with someone who claimed to be "heterosexual" but now posts "heteroflexible". How things change over time.

yeah ....nearly 4 years ago...... and my opinion has not changed ..... my partners defination of herself has...

so your point is ???? or is this another of your cheap shots.....

[MrBisex]

I like the word for somebody that are a little bit to everything :)

[tenni]

LDD writes
"it sounds like a heteros excuse for their sexual behievour
kinda like, " I am a heterosexual but i play the field. without wanting the * stigma * attached to the other * labels * "

tenni writes
In May, 2007 (post 6) LDD made this post on this thread. Now, he is in an internet relationship with someone who claimed to be "heterosexual" but now posts "heteroflexible". How things change over time.

LDD writes
yeah ....nearly 4 years ago...... and my opinion has not changed ..... my partners defination of herself has...

so your point is ???? or is this another of your cheap shots.....

I'm not sure how much of a cheap shot it is to point out your position. I do find it incongruous. Things change but you state that you have not changed your position. You are now in a long distance internet relationship with someone that you consider playing the field and not wanting the stigma of being considered bisexual. (according to your own words) Your words of May 2007 seem harsh, unsympathetic and showing disdain for anyone who uses the word "heteroflexible". It is incongruous that you have found yourself with these two positions (loving internet relationship with someone that you hold in disdain and consider afraid of stigma and playing the field). Do you condemn your partner for "playing the field" as your words from 2007 seem to indicate since you say that your view has not changed? Are you sure that you do not wish to alter your perspective?

[DuckiesDarling]

Before he edits...


Well, dumpling
I'm not sure how much of a cheap shot it is to point out your position. I do find it incongruous. Things change but you state that you have not changed your position. You are now in a long distance internet relationship with someone that you consider playing the field and not wanting the stigma of being considered bisexual. (according to your own words) Your words of May 2007 seem harsh and unsympathetic to me. It is incongruous that you have found yourself with these two positions (loving internet relationship with someone that you consider afraid of stigma and playing the field. Do you condemn your partner for "playing the field" as your words from 2007 seem to indicate since you say that your view has not changed?

First edit
Well, dumpling
I'm not sure how much of a cheap shot it is to point out your position. I do find it incongruous. Things change but you state that you have not changed your position. You are now in a long distance internet relationship with someone that you consider playing the field and not wanting the stigma of being considered bisexual. (according to your own words) Your words of May 2007 seem harsh and unsympathetic to me. It is incongruous that you have found yourself with these two positions (loving internet relationship with someone that you consider afraid of stigma and playing the field). Do you condemn your partner for "playing the field" as your words from 2007 seem to indicate since you say that your view has not changed? Are you sure that you do not wish to alter your perspective hun?

How about you get over yourself, Tenni, dumpling. You want to make an issue out of something he posted long before I came into his life. Or perhaps you missed a post of mine where I said I wasn't sure I was purely straight anymore. Even if I was a full out bisexual I still wouldn't be playing the field, I have no interest in being with anyone but my partner, my mate, my fiance. You have a problem with your prejudices and it's showing loud and clear..honey. Btw. I won't edit, I was snide on purpose and I'll leave it for all to see.

[sammie19]

Whatever anyone says I really don't know what the term means. It seems stupid to me and a misnomer. Even if it means that a person alternates between bi and heterosexuality, inside of them bisexuality remains. If it means as someone said having an occasional blow job by someone of the same sex but not blowing back, that person is by definition bisexual. I am not convinced that everyone is bisexual but I do accept where bisexuality exists, it exists in degrees, but am quite sure that any who participates, enjoys or wishes for the slightest sexual contact with people of both sexes is in some way bisexual whether they give or receive.

[Long Duck Dong]

LDD writes
"it sounds like a heteros excuse for their sexual behievour
kinda like, " I am a heterosexual but i play the field. without wanting the * stigma * attached to the other * labels * "

tenni writes
In May, 2007 (post 6) LDD made this post on this thread. Now, he is in an internet relationship with someone who claimed to be "heterosexual" but now posts "heteroflexible". How things change over time.

LDD writes
yeah ....nearly 4 years ago...... and my opinion has not changed ..... my partners defination of herself has...

so your point is ???? or is this another of your cheap shots.....

I'm not sure how much of a cheap shot it is to point out your position. I do find it incongruous. Things change but you state that you have not changed your position. You are now in a long distance internet relationship with someone that you consider playing the field and not wanting the stigma of being considered bisexual. (according to your own words) Your words of May 2007 seem harsh, unsympathetic and showing disdain for anyone who uses the word "heteroflexible". It is incongruous that you have found yourself with these two positions (loving internet relationship with someone that you hold in disdain and consider afraid of stigma and playing the field). Do you condemn your partner for "playing the field" as your words from 2007 seem to indicate since you say that your view has not changed? Are you sure that you do not wish to alter your perspective?

do me a favour tenni, don't call me dumpling or hun.... you are about as appealing to me as a 800 year old rumplestilkin.....( and I am refering to your edits that DD has nicely posted......)

I refered to a label..... and I gave a brief, blunt answer.... how I define a label and how DD refers to and defines herself, are two different things.....

bit like your sex life and mine, is not defined by the label of bisexual, as the label of bisexual refers to people that can be attracted to both genders on multiple levels, not how they have sex or if they have sex.....

now if you will excuse me, I am gonna go and puke cos I have this image in my head of you trying to be all nice and sweet and saying dumpling and hun and the other aspects of the image....... :eek::eek::eek: