bad rap for phone sex lovers

[gary111]

Occassionally in the posts, people refer to people "who just want phone sex" with an air of disgust. With the entire realm of weird sexual tastes out there it is odd that someone would look down on this.

True, people into phone sex are usually not looking for someone to marry. Actually, being married to someone who isn't that liberal when it comes to bisexuality is a great motivator FOR phone sex.

I can talkt to and have a degree of sexual intimacy with people without cheating on my wife to an unnacceptable degree. Of course, sex in the phone can be seen as cheating in terms of having intimacy outside of married and, I suppose, unless where are willing to pull a Bill Clinton in terms of making fine distinctions of what having sex is (I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!) we have to admit that we are having sex outside of marriage.

But the ethical distinctions aside, I'm sure my wife would rather me vent this way than in person, and the disease free aspect of it cannot be refuted!

If all who had phone sex were as honest as they can be and upfront, and if we all respect one another (never calling back without permission, for example, it would be more fun.

[biwords]

I can talkt to and have a degree of sexual intimacy with people without cheating on my wife to an unnacceptable degree...But the ethical distinctions aside, I'm sure my wife would rather me vent this way than in person...

Easy to find out -- just ask her if it's OK. I don't judge people who cheat, but it's going too far to ask me to understand what cheating 'to an unacceptable degree' is. Unacceptable to whom? The spouse? That seems doubtful. To oneself? But that kind of argument can excuse anything...



If all who had phone sex were as honest as they can be and upfront...it would be more fun.

Here the writer means 'honest with one's phone sex partner' -- not honest with one's spouse, which has already it seems been ruled out.

[JohnnyV]

Garry,

I totally agree with you and have also been bewildered by the judgmental way people talk about phone sex. Relax, folks! It's fun and consensual, and generally disease-free and scandal-proof!

J

[gary111]

Easy to find out -- just ask her if it's OK. I don't judge people who cheat, but it's going too far to ask me to understand what cheating 'to an unacceptable degree' is. Unacceptable to whom? The spouse? That seems doubtful. To oneself? But that kind of argument can excuse anything...

Here the writer means 'honest with one's phone sex partner' -- not honest with one's spouse, which has already it seems been ruled out.

Wow, you read my post carefully and I understand the ethical delema to which you are refering. What is an "unacceptable" degree is a bit more complex when you put it into real life terms. My wife has a mental illness, an anxiety condition for which she is heavily medicated. I don't "just ask" her as you implied is the right thing to do, because I understand the stress would be too much for her. A non-sexual life is unacceptable stressful to me. So I do phone sex with as much honesty to everyone concerned as seems reasonable in a caring way.

You've made assumptions, as we all do. Thanks for such a thoughtful reply.

[darkeyes]

sex on the fone still hurts me arse!!! tee hee

[mistymockingbird]

I think there's often a sense of disdain for the folks that come here looking for "just cyber" as well. Quite honestly, when presented with the two choices, I'll take phone sex over cyber 99% of the time. Either one can be a hell of a lot of fun with the right partner. And in some cases, in my experience, I'd rather have good phone sex with a longtime partner than less than great sex with a random hookup.

This is an adult site. People do come here for sex. I know there are a lot of folks who don't. These days I come here more to chat with buddies than to look for partners. But I think we should all be tolerant of the fact that we each have our own reasons for being here.

As for ethical dilemmas, allow me to sidestep that conversation. We can go round and round about ethics and what constitutes infidelity, but the bottom line is that every relationship has its own boundaries and those are determined by the folks in that relationship. I'm certainly no paragon of virtue, but I much prefer someone who is honest about their situation, regardless of what that is, than someone who keeps it a secret.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Wonders to herself " Will Misty ever call me ? " :bigrin:

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

HOLY SHIT ---- I just realized im an unofficial community leader lol
Cool beans hey