Homosexual Couples Adopting - Right or Wrong?

[DuskTillDawn]

I have had this debate with several different people (including the local minister and his son) and so far i have found noone who agree's with me. I have also not been presented with any arguments i find substantial enough to change my mind or even consider my current view to be inaccurate.(for the record I am for it all the way)

Here are some of the arguments I was givin.

# If two men/women were meant (in the eyes of God and/or nature) to have children they would both be able to make a child to which I argue some hetrosexual couples cant have kids, what makes them special?

# When kids are teenagers the get confused about there sexuality,having same sex parents would encourage them to be gay. This argument just annoyed me- for a start, whats wrong with more people being gay. Secondly (according to scientific sudies into hormones and the such like) if your gay your gay if your straight your straight, you will fall in love with who ever you fall in love with - wat does it matter what sex they are. "Encouraging" more people to be to be gay is more likely to encourage more people to experiment and therefore make homosexuality far more accepted. This would help people feel free to "come out of the closet" ( being "in the closet" has been shown to result in mental instability). And wheres the harm in a little experimentation?

# Kids well get bullied - this i just disagree with. More samesex parent groups in the world would make homosexuality more accepted so the kid really wouldnt be that likely to get bullied. And for another thing if you think about it, kids get bullied for heaps of different reasons- this is just one more. Heck, depending on the parents the kid might even be stronger then some of the other kids and dodge the bullying. (what i mean is weak or sensative kids get bullied, parents make kids the way they are, if the kid is strong anyway he probably wont get bullied, it has nothing to do with what sex they are).

# Lack of female/male influence (delete as appropriate)- single parents?

# It will confuse kids - how exactly? love is love. Growing up with parents very much in love and who love you can hardly do you more harm than a family in constant turmoil (sp?) can it?



Desprately looking for more arguments against it because what I have so far seems useless to me. If you can back any arguments up any further I'd love to here it also.

Basically I'm eagerly awaiting any comments!

[welickit]

We happen to be all for it. However, you have a closed mind already so anything that anyone says won't matter.

[FalconAngel]

The only issue that has any validity is the affect on the child without a male/female (whichever applies) parental influence as they grow up.

As a non-custodial parent, That is one of the many issues that I keep abreast of on the issue of child-rearing.

However, what many folks do not realize with Gay couples, is that many of them have friends/extended families who would inject that missing parental gender quality into the family relationship.

[DiamondDog]

I do not see anything wrong at all with same gendered couples having biological/adopted kids and raising them.

[TaylorMade]

We happen to be all for it. However, you have a closed mind already so anything that anyone says won't matter.

I've seen your previous posts, to which I say; "Pot, Mr. Kettle on line one."

*Taylor*

[welickit]

Not sure how many of you attend or belong to any Pride groups but the entire community helps one another where children are concerned. We are married bisexuals but are also typically called aunt & uncle by the children of gay/lesbian couples. We help with homework, playing sports, going to stock car races with the kids, attending school events, birthday parties etc. etc. People who object to it have never walked in our shoes and once again we have to say.....they have closed minds. Pro or con if you can't listen to and accept another person's point of view, you have a closed mind. :2cents: :flag2:

[Fire Lotus]

I'm a little confused.

Are you against homosexual adopting too or are you just asking for a debate on people's opinions/pros and cons?

I personally support same sex couple adoptions. They give love and care just as well as opposite sex couples do. As for not having not enough of a certain gender in their life. Children can get that from many other ways. Extended families, family friends would help in that. The children are not missing out on gender role models.

[domill]

So many kids are being raised by completely fucked up heterosexual couples. And no one thinks there is anything wrong with that. I really don't see why two loving and balanced men or women couldn't raise a child.
I happen to know a gay guy who's raised his two kids alone. They are now perfectly fine adults (and heterosexual, in case anyone wondered if the homo gene is dominant) :bigrin:

[Fire Lotus]

So many kids are being raised by completely fucked up heterosexual couples. And no one thinks there is anything wrong with that. I really don't see why two loving and balanced men or women couldn't raise a child.


Amen! That is so true.

[TaylorMade]

So many kids are being raised by completely fucked up heterosexual couples. And no one thinks there is anything wrong with that. I really don't see why two loving and balanced men or women couldn't raise a child.
I happen to know a gay guy who's raised his two kids alone. They are now perfectly fine adults (and heterosexual, in case anyone wondered if the homo gene is dominant) :bigrin:

People on both sides of the issue think there is something wrong with that.
The Difference is:
People who are for gay couples adopting have a solution. People who are against it - -well, they don't really have one.

That's how I see it.

*Taylor*

[gb11vt18]

I believe that not every Homosexual couple is capable of adoting children the same as a Straight couple. The reasons can not be becasue of religion, but what is best for the child. The lack of a male or female influence in their life could lead to different behavior but as good parents the couple should be able to find some way either through a friend or a relative that can help. Adopting not only allows a couple become parents it also allows a child a second chance and have opertunites that they would not have in their pre adopting status. It takes more than two people to raise a child it takes a community and a tribe to do so. The most important thing is the people and not if they are Homosexual or straight, the sexual orientation does not matter, the love for the child is the most important.

[Herbwoman39]

I see no reason to oppose gay adoption as long as, as with straight couples, there is proper screening, etc.

[DiamondDog]

I've seen your previous posts, to which I say; "Pot, Mr. Kettle on line one."

*Taylor*

LOL hahahaha

[darkeyes]

In principle..right...sayin no more....no need 2

[deletetacount123]

Im adopted.

I think if 2 people are capable of raising a child then thats all that matters.
Whenever they are straight couple or same sex couple.

You adopt cause the child's parents are unable to raise the child OR the parents were in an accident and there was no legal guardian (or she/he can't)
You, as a adopted parent provide a home and love that the child's birthparents can't.

Tasha

[elian]

I would think that the worth of a good parent is measured by the content of their character. Is there some magic rule that says that if a M/F couple has a child it's not going to grow up in an abusive environment?

There are enough kids looking for homes that if a same-sex couple REALLY want children it would be fine .. a little complicated to explain at school .. but fine.

It's funny though - I will tell you that being raised in a single-parent-female household I almost used to lust after father figures on a regular basis - and I still think that's why I'm romantically attracted to guys. So I do think there is something to be said for the masculine/feminine dynamic being present in the child's life.

But funny thing is - not all "men" are good examples of what it means to be a dad..similarly with some female "mothers".

Hey, if they can make it work together and everyone is relatively happy who the heck am I to say any different - what would be the alternative - broken home - pushed from one place to another?

[Hopeful Romantic]

I still fall into the group that believes that "it takes a village to raise a child".

There are three things that a child NEEDS in order to be well cared for and secure. A stable, nurturing home environment, unconditional love, and moral standards that the family feels is important to live up to. I grew up in a family where mom and dad, as well as aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and family friends helped provide these things. (and yes, I was raised by Ozzie and Harriet.)

I also have gay and lesbian friends that are amazing parents. Their children also have that same "network" of support that provide all that they need. So yes, so long as they are capable, loving and willing parents.. why should sexual orientation prevent someone that can care for and love a child from offering that?

[the mage]

Same sex couples adopt here and have to satisfy the same rigorous examination as any other couple or person. Good people dont come in straight packages.

[TaylorMade]

you mean, don't always, right?http://www.neutralunderground.com/forum/images/smilies/11-18-06/4-poke2.gif

*Taylor*

[12voltman59]

I have had this debate with several different people (including the local minister and his son) and so far i have found noone who agree's with me. I have also not been presented with any arguments i find substantial enough to change my mind or even consider my current view to be inaccurate.(for the record I am for it all the way)

Here are some of the arguments I was givin.

# If two men/women were meant (in the eyes of God and/or nature) to have children they would both be able to make a child to which I argue some hetrosexual couples cant have kids, what makes them special?

# When kids are teenagers the get confused about there sexuality,having same sex parents would encourage them to be gay. This argument just annoyed me- for a start, whats wrong with more people being gay. Secondly (according to scientific sudies into hormones and the such like) if your gay your gay if your straight your straight, you will fall in love with who ever you fall in love with - wat does it matter what sex they are. "Encouraging" more people to be to be gay is more likely to encourage more people to experiment and therefore make homosexuality far more accepted. This would help people feel free to "come out of the closet" ( being "in the closet" has been shown to result in mental instability). And wheres the harm in a little experimentation?

# Kids well get bullied - this i just disagree with. More samesex parent groups in the world would make homosexuality more accepted so the kid really wouldnt be that likely to get bullied. And for another thing if you think about it, kids get bullied for heaps of different reasons- this is just one more. Heck, depending on the parents the kid might even be stronger then some of the other kids and dodge the bullying. (what i mean is weak or sensative kids get bullied, parents make kids the way they are, if the kid is strong anyway he probably wont get bullied, it has nothing to do with what sex they are).

# Lack of female/male influence (delete as appropriate)- single parents?

# It will confuse kids - how exactly? love is love. Growing up with parents very much in love and who love you can hardly do you more harm than a family in constant turmoil (sp?) can it?



Desprately looking for more arguments against it because what I have so far seems useless to me. If you can back any arguments up any further I'd love to here it also.

Basically I'm eagerly awaiting any comments!

It is part and parcel of the mythos created by the religious right that gays are like the communists of yore--they are under every rock and doing everything they can to "recruit" new members to the "gay lifestyle."

If you don't know it--the Christian right has some very large, very sophisticated systems of disseminating their messages from within their ranks--many of the Christian churches are members of very well done satelite networks and other media sources that the public never gets to see (I don't even know if the membership of these churches realize those networks are there either)---these networks rival ABC, CBS, CNN and the rest for reach and technical sophistication, so when they want to "sell" an idea-like gays are evil or that voting Republican is to vote for God-- they then put their systems to work to get out the messages and talking points memos to the flock.

The thing with such people is--it does not have to make much sense, be rational or anything else--they live in a world that is superstitious, irrational and anti-sense-all they have to do is to declare a thing a thing and that's the way it is 'cause God says that is the way it is----

They have their world view and they are not gonna change it---

Thanks to the systems they have in place---its like the old adage, "tell a lie enought times in many ways and it becomes truth."

I think that the religious right's being stirred up about "gayness" is that first and foremost--they all have dreams of doing same sex, sex and they have to stamp it out since the devil is tempting them to do it and secondly (most important to their leadership)---it does get the base riled up and moving to vote as they want the base to vote, (this issue along with being anti-abortion, prayer in schools and the rest of the laundry list) gets the good Christian folks out to vote and to open their checkbooks---

It's really pretty Machivellian when ya come down to it and man--they get to play in the down and dirty game that is politics, but they get to claim that they have the mantel of God on their side---so you can't criticize them without being "unGodly"---amd criticizing them is an attack on God and Christianity don't ya know?

To the believers--you could put up a mound of evidence that children being raised by two gay parents is no more a risk factor for being gay or anything else than those things are for kids raised by straight parents---hell--most gays probably came from a union were both were straight, but arguments like that fall on deaf ears---"it's don't confuse me with facts, maam, my mind is made up--the preacher told me what to think!!!"

The Christian right has been effective in getting the state of Florida, by statute, to prohbit gay parents from adopting children--and they are working in other states to pass similar legislation---attempts to pass such legislation have occurred in many states including Ohio, Georgia, South Carolina, Mississippi and Alabama, Kentucky, Tennesse and Texas, but none have made it all the way through the legislative process thus far, but it is very likely that such legislation will soon clear both the House and Senate in Arkansas and get passed on to that state's governor for signing into law.

Utah only allows married couples to adopt children, which effectively means that GLBT people cannot adopt children in that state unless they are in a "straight marriage."

There are also other proposals that would ban anyone other than heterosexuals from becoming foster parents that are making the rounds too-they figure that might be an easier sell initially than banning gays from adopting----

So much for living in the land of the free!!!!!

[darkeyes]

Same sex couples adopt here and have to satisfy the same rigorous examination as any other couple or person. Good people dont come in straight packages.as it shud b Mage... an it goes for fosterin 2.....

[DuskTillDawn]

We happen to be all for it. However, you have a closed mind already so anything that anyone says won't matter.

I do not think what anyone says does not matter. What I said is what they have said so far has not swayed my decision atall as I feel the arguments are invalid or unjustified

[darkeyes]

In the end it is all down to how much the couple, or even single person has to offer in the way of love encouragement and support for the child. Sexuality should play no part in it only the ability and suitablity of the prospective parents to raise the child to be a decent human being and protect that child from the hardships of the world while growing up and prepare him or her for the hard realities he or she will face when making his or her own way in the world.

[deletetacount123]

Adopted children won't care who adopts them... they just want to go to a nice home where someone LOVES them and treats the child as thier own. :)

I am unable to have my own kids but if my parnter wants kids, adoption may be our only answer unless she wants to expierence being pregnant.

[rissababynta]

So many kids are being raised by completely fucked up heterosexual couples. And no one thinks there is anything wrong with that. I really don't see why two loving and balanced men or women couldn't raise a child.
I happen to know a gay guy who's raised his two kids alone. They are now perfectly fine adults (and heterosexual, in case anyone wondered if the homo gene is dominant) :bigrin:



this is what i've always said. every argument i've heard against it just makes me think "ok, so, that has never happened with a straight couple?" i've known homosexual couples that have raised kids and their children have turned out to be wonderful, polite, open minded individuals and they are NOT confused.

[spartca]

Personally I think heterosexual couples should stop hogging all those adopted children when they can make their own! Selfish breeders ;)

http://heterophobia.tribe.net/

[Doggie_Wood]

I see no reason to oppose gay adoption as long as, as with straight couples, there is proper screening, etc.

I totally agree with you Herbwoman - A same sex couple should have to go through the same screening, background and psychological testing as any couple, be they hetro or otherwise. :rolleyes: The most important consideration is and always should be for the child. God, they (the children) are our world's most precious asset. And they are the ones who have the final say so over what becomes of us, the parents when we are geriatrisized :eek: (is there such a word? - lol, there is now).

[wanderingrichard]

i look at it like this; can they actually be good parents , provide well for the children, give them a safe stable warm and loving home?? oh, they can?? great! let them adopt! but they're same sex?? oh, state run bigotry has you by the short and curlies, does it?? gee, since you subscribe to thier line of b.s., doesnt that make you a hypocrite too?? [object Object]

[FerSureMaybe]

I grew up with just female influence, and I'm not even that feminine. So, I think the influence stuff is total bullshit.

I think in a way, being the child of a same sex couple would be better than being the child of a heterosexual couple. The kids likely to be more tolerant of others which I think is a huge problem with kids today.

I might slightly agree with the bullying part though, because kids are mean, and they'll find anything to make fun of. But, kids are going to get made fun of anyway, no matter what the reason. I don't think a single person has never been made fun of once.