Me wishing there was somebody

[pikerslayer]

Along my struggle most of the girls or guys I have been with turn out to be one or the other most of my gay friends say being bi doesn't exist, some girls that I have been with have just said they are bi just to make you feel better, but at the end of the day regardless I don't want to be with a straight person or a full gay person... it's weird to understand but bisexual people have this kinda center bit in there heard that allows you to think a head etc and notice others around you the reason I will keep hunting for a real bisexual person is because they are infact to my level of understanding open with their thoughts... the sexual side is just a bit of fun finding a soulmate is hard, even if you know that the partner sleeps around at the end of the day you want someone that will still be for you regardless of who they end up sleeping with it's how my brain functions and the main question does anyones function the same way xxxx ?

[amBiguiled]

I do :bigrin: ... I've kinda reluctantly accepted that girlfriends wont allow sex-for-fun with anyone but them, but I expected it to be a little different when I strayed gay... its not... not for me at least. So, I'm on the hunt also slayer... luck to us all, the open minded bi are out there hiding..somewhere.......

[DiamondDog]

so you're a hetero guy that wants a bisexual woman for a relationship?

This is going by your profile on here where it says you're hetero.

Honestly I haven't had that much trouble from homosexual men as I relate to them very well and my being bisexual/queer isn't an issue in our friendship.

I'm not that into relationships with women and I know that I couldn't have the typical closed/exclusive and typical relationship that most women do want.

Or the whole typical relationship where a man worships a woman I could not deal with a person like that and I wouldn't even want a relationship like that where there's no balance and there's a power struggle.

I can't relate to how lots of men who are married/partnered to women say how a woman completes them, how a woman who is their spouse/wife is their best friend or soul mate.

Also I'd only ever consider a relationship with a woman if she's bisexual. I'm not into heterosexual women and I wouldn't want to try to have a closed/exclusive relationship with a woman since I know that I'd probably cheat on her with a guy or I would just eventually leave her for a relationship with a man.

But I can tell who is bisexual or homosexual and who isn't and I'm not sure how I can do this, call it gaydar, bidar, being very good at reading people, or intuition; but it's just something that I can do sometimes without even speaking to a person and later I find out or they tell me.

However, no matter who I date or get into a relationship with I tell about myself and I'm out as a queer man so it's not a big deal. Also some people just ask me so I will tell them.

[rayosytruenos]

so you're a hetero guy that wants a bisexual woman for a relationship?

This is going by your profile on here where it says you're hetero.[...]
Sorry, but I am a bit confused... As DiamondDog said, in your profile, you define yourself as
1, straight on the Kinsey scale... Then on the summary of your ad you say:

Seeking female on the same wavelength as me so my logical assumption is that you were looking for a straight woman, but as I read your detailed ad, then I found:
I don't like to mix with fully on gay people I prefer to be with people that are bisexual and then, at the beginning of your thread, you said:
Along my struggle most of the girls or guys I have been with turn out to be one or the other most of my gay friends say being bi doesn't exist, some girls that I have been with have just said they are bi just to make you feel better, but at the end of the day regardless I don't want to be with a straight person or a full gay person...

So, you are a man that has had sex with men and women, but you consider yourself straight, and the men you've been with have been gay, and the women you've been with have been either straight or bisexual, but according to your experience these women have had sex with other women just to make us, men, happy... Did I get it right now or did I miss something?

Ok, first, lots of gay men say that bisexuals don't exist. It has been discussed in this forum before. They mostly say that they are gays who are on the fence and don't want to accept they are gay. I don't deny that some might be like that, but I don't think it can be applied to everyone.

Also you have to keep in mind the Kinsey scale as an example. I think it's very difficult to find a pure 100% straight or 100% gay person. Sorry, I think everyone has had sexual thoughts of one class or another about the same sex or the opposite sex at some stage in our lives, even for just a few seconds.

But even accepting that there are 100% straights and 100% gays, then we find lots of people that being bisexuals tend to one or the other side of the scale, some tend closer to the gay side and some tend closer to the straight side.

I'm not sure what people say when they speak about straights, gays, bisexuals having a different mindset. I think all of us are just people having our own individualities and then as one more of them, we happen to be straight, gay or bisexual (or transgendered).

I mean, there are straights, gays, bisexuals, transgendered people that are just fucking around, there are others of all these groups that want to have a loving and long relationship, there are others of all these groups that are into classical music, there are others of all these groups that are into rock and punk...

I would say that you just have to meet a lot of people and then sooner or later, you'll find your soulmate. Some of us, find their soulmates sooner (lucky bastards!!! :bigrin: ), some others later.

All the best,

ray

P.S.: You look cute in the pics... :rolleyes:

[DiamondDog]

[COLOR=Blue][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS]
Sorry, but I am a bit confused... As DiamondDog said, in your profile, you define yourself as on the Kinsey scale... Then on the summary of your ad you say:
so my logical assumption is that you were looking for a straight woman, but as I read your detailed ad, then I found: and then, at the beginning of your thread, you said:

So, you are a man that has had sex with men and women, but you consider yourself straight, and the men you've been with have been gay, and the women you've been with have been either straight or bisexual, but according to your experience these women have had sex with other women just to make us, men, happy... Did I get it right now or did I miss something?

Ok, first, lots of gay men say that bisexuals don't exist. It has been discussed in this forum before. They mostly say that they are gays who are on the fence and don't want to accept they are gay. I don't deny that some might be like that, but I don't think it can be applied to everyone.

Also you have to keep in mind the Kinsey scale as an example. I think it's very difficult to find a pure 100% straight or 100% gay person. Sorry, I think everyone has had sexual thoughts of one class or another about the same sex or the opposite sex at some stage in our lives, even for just a few seconds.

But even accepting that there are 100% straights and 100% gays, then we find lots of people that being bisexuals tend to one or the other side of the scale, some tend closer to the gay side and some tend closer to the straight side.

I'm not sure what people say when they speak about straights, gays, bisexuals having a different mindset. I think all of us are just people having our own individualities and then as one more of them, we happen to be straight, gay or bisexual (or transgendered).

I mean, there are straights, gays, bisexuals, transgendered people that are just fucking around, there are others of all these groups that want to have a loving and long relationship, there are others of all these groups that are into classical music, there are others of all these groups that are into rock and punk...

I would say that you just have to meet a lot of people and then sooner or later, you'll find your soulmate. Some of us, find their soulmates sooner (lucky bastards!!! :bigrin: ), some others later.

All the best,

ray



Nice post Ray.

I'm not sure if I agree that there aren't that many true heterosexuals or homosexuals.

Heterosexuals are in the majority of the population, and they don't get homosexuality.

Most heterosexuals have no potential for same-sex attraction (they can't imagine what it would be like).

Likewise homosexual people can't imagine what it's like to be sexually attracted to the opposite gender.

Also just because someone that's homosexual has had sex with a person of the opposite gender it doesn't make them bisexual.

Personally I get sick of the bisexual chauvanism that lots of bisexuals seem to get how they seem to think that "everyone is bisexual but just doesn't know it or doesn't accept it".

But I do agree with Ray, get out and meet people. :)

[pikerslayer]

hmm, yea I noticed I forgot to change my profile a lil oops hehe ;)
yea I feel pretty much equal to both sexes it's just my defintion is that I want to stay with one person, but they probably couldn't deal with my thoughts of the same sex or vice versa otherwise they'd have to keep my attention on them a hellva lot. Not that I have ever been to an orgy, dogging yes but it seems like the fate of my life seems to go nowhere with my sexuality...

[rayosytruenos]

Thanks, DD!

Let's comment bit by bit your post:


I'm not sure if I agree that there aren't that many true heterosexuals or homosexuals.

Heterosexuals are in the majority of the population, and they don't get homosexuality.

When we speak in general terms, we always try to simplify things, and I have sinned trying to simplify my thoughts, when we could be discussing these issues for hours...

First, we could be discussing how we define heterosexuals, bisexuals and homosexuals. I have given my thoughts in other threads as you brilliantly has done too.

Maybe my concept of bisexuality is wider than yours. Lots of my now considered "straight" friends have had some sexual games with people of the same sex. I think we can say that many youngsters have played to some sort of grabbing each other's bits... Hey, I remember playing it with a big group of kids... when you were grabbed, you couldn't move, till another free kid came to touch you and rescue from that statue position.

I know guys that have sexual experiences with other guys in the past but consider themselves "straight" now. I know guys who have sexual experiences with other guys often now and nevertheless they consider themselves "straight".

So in my opinion, these people are not such "straight" people, but then we could go again discussing about the definitions and modifying them from just the sexual act to include romantic feelings into the definitions.

So, I just want to make clear that of course, all what I'm saying is just my opinion, once more, but for me, the heterosexuality majority of our society is just such for the societal pressure. In other cultures where the mindset is different, there are sexual contact with people of the same sex not seen as homosexuality or you can have a look at the ancient Roman and Greek empires. In times of the Roman Empire, it was normal for men (married and single) to have ephoebi (young males) to satisfy them sexually. Actually if some man was found not to have interest in other men too, he was not well accepted in that society.

Otherwise, in our modern society, married and single men who have had sex with other men, have done it usually secretly for the views of the society. Years have passed now and there is more acceptance in our sexual preferences and behaviour, so we have seen an increase in the number of people defining themselves as "bisexuals", but still, and due to the social stigma, many gays and bisexuals don't come out.


Most heterosexuals have no potential for same-sex attraction (they can't imagine what it would be like).

Likewise homosexual people can't imagine what it's like to be sexually attracted to the opposite gender.

The problem is that most heterosexuals wouldn't like to admit if they have had sexual thoughts/feelings for other people. A self-defined "straight" friend of mine cried telling me that he missed me so terribly, but he didn't mean he was gay or anything... Curiously he admitted to me that he usually wanked another of his male friends but that it was nothing gay... :rolleyes:

Another one, quite tough with everyone and showing everyone as the ultramacho, has been always too kind to me, and by some things I asked him if he was gay... He answered me saying why I thought so, and if that I really thought so. Then on one ocassion, with no reason, he grabbed my dick to say this is what women want, what you have between your legs... I think he really didn't need to grab it... lol :tong:

A homosexual friend of mine said that he wanted to have a baby, so I said that the fertilization in vitro gives a lot of possibilities, and he rebuffed saying "no, I want to have sex with a woman", but I objected saying that if he was gay how he was going to perform with a woman, and he answered that he wouldn't have problems in getting an erection with her and having sex with her. He is actually in a very long gay relationship with another man.


Also just because someone that's homosexual has had sex with a person of the opposite gender it doesn't make them bisexual.Yes, I agree, but then we could start again an endless discussion on defining bisexuality...

All the best,

ray

[rayosytruenos]

hmm, yea I noticed I forgot to change my profile a lil oops hehe ;)
yea I feel pretty much equal to both sexes [...]Lol! I see you've changed it now...

4 - Equally straight and gay/lesbianThat clarifies things, thanks.

All the best,

ray

[JoyJoyHollywood]

Along my struggle most of the girls or guys I have been with turn out to be one or the other most of my gay friends say being bi doesn't exist, some girls that I have been with have just said they are bi just to make you feel better, but at the end of the day regardless I don't want to be with a straight person or a full gay person... it's weird to understand but bisexual people have this kinda center bit in there heard that allows you to think a head etc and notice others around you the reason I will keep hunting for a real bisexual person is because they are infact to my level of understanding open with their thoughts... the sexual side is just a bit of fun finding a soulmate is hard, even if you know that the partner sleeps around at the end of the day you want someone that will still be for you regardless of who they end up sleeping with it's how my brain functions and the main question does anyones function the same way xxxx ?




Well cutie, the thing is, sexuality, in it's purest form is uniquely individual. Like our feelings towards each other and spirituality, it exists in a way that can be quite undefinable to each other. We don't all function the same way-not at all. Even those who are closest to us may be nothing like us. A soulmate is sort of like a revelation-they never come to you when you ask for them. You just sort of wake up one morning and their there. And sometimes, when you wake up and find them you can't keep them. Just enjoy your nature and try and have some fun. There is no rushing life-it happens on it's own accord.

[pikerslayer]

I didn't think I was cute aside from that lol, your correct it's the way I feel... on what you said what being bi is all about...

[JoyJoyHollywood]

The Irish have a very beautiful saying-we are what we are.

[ohbimale]

Hi Handsome -

You will come accross your soul mate at the most unexpected time when you least expect it and are not actively looking. And when it happens you will know deep inside, perhaps intuitively that this person is it. So enjoy life, take time to admire the scenery, smell the flowers and so on. When it happens it will feel wonderful. :bipride: :male: :male: